Too Soon???

LegacyUser

Here is my story, bumped into a guy recently that I'd met once or twice socially & we got talking on a nigth out. We got on really well and it turned out that a couple of us went back to his place at the end of the night for a few more drinks. Had good fun, ended up kissing, stayed in his bed. He was a bit full on but I thought it was a bit soon to have sex with him and he was fine with that.

So he dropped me home and later that day he texted and asked to see me again. I said yes but we didn't arrange anything concrete. I was pretty busy over the next couple of weeks but he was pretty keen so after a fortnight before we actually arranged something. We texted a couple of times in between, always initiated by him and then finally went out together on Friday.

Had a really good time, few drinks but not too many, good conversation flow, laughed alot. So got pretty late and he invited me back to his. Normally I would wait a couple of weeks but I thought why not, he seemed to be a good guy and it had been over six months since I'd last gotten some action so I went for it. Good time, at it for hours then again the next morning and dropped me home around lunch time.

SInce then he hasn't seemed half as keen. I texted on the Sat evening to see how we was, had abit of a conversation and I finished up. I initiated again this evening & he texted back two hours later but very brief and nothing really in it.

We got on really well and I know he had liked me so I don't think it's a case of he just went off me after getting to know me. Am I being paranoid or has he just lost interest because I slept with him so soon?

ellie1

sorry, this may be the case here op.
A freind of mine has a rule that if she likes him and sees it going somewhere she goes on a couple of dates with him. If she doesnt , she gets her bit of action, in that way she isnt bothered if he contacts or not cos she aint that into him.
From discussions with friends male and female, they would say and i tend to agree that men like the longer chase of getting a woman into bed. Many female friends would hold out to ensure he isnt just after one thing. It sounds very dated but these things still hold true. I think.

On the other hand , maybe he was busy. In any case, good luck.

Otis Driftwood

Hard to know if he has lost interest because ye slept together so soon.If he was keen that wouldnt be an issue IMO.More likely he was just looking for a ride and not much else.

LegacyUser

Feels kinda crappy. Feel a bit trampy that he's reacted like this

LegacyUser

I'd say after a text or two to him and little enthusiasm from him put the ball in his court. If he responds well and good for you. If not take it as a lesson learned... but so ya know it's a**ho*es like him who give the sound dudes a bad name ;-)...

Yeah it sounds like he's lost interest now alright. The same happened to a few of my mates. I personally would wait a good while if I was really interested in the guy to avoid such situations. I know it sounds silly but there's no harm in doing that, for various reasons. Anyway you got some action, I'd give him a few days just in case he has a genuine reason for not texting you and then move on.

LegacyUser

Ok he just text back and apologised for delay...was training. Anyways he asked me to go to cinema tomorrow so thats good I suppose. Prob just paranoid because it's not my usual way of doing things.

Still slightly apprehensive because I don't know how he see's me after it!?!

Salome

I'd just play it by ear - don't be too eager or keen, just keep it light and fluffy and let him do some more work. Sounds like you kinda like this guy, don't be afraid to slow things down and make him show more interest, if that's what you want.

LegacyUser

Oh believe me I know all the tricks, just didn't bother with them this time. It's such a pain having to play games and play hard to get 'n stuff, when really what you want to do is s**g his brains out ...

Shall revert to the whole 'making him work for it' thing now however.. at least then I won't be doubting myself

Unregistered

Unregistered wrote: »

Oh believe me I know all the tricks, just didn't bother with them this time. It's such a pain having to play games and play hard to get 'n stuff, when really what you want to do is s**g his brains out ...

Shall revert to the whole 'making him work for it' thing now however.. at least then I won't be doubting myself

uhm...
How about next time you meet-you say " Lad I like you...I don't want to stalk you...I don't want to marry you at this point...I'd like to see how it goes and if it doesn't no harm done we needn't see each other again...and I like shagging you...and I don't play games and won't."

There! Cards on the table.
You''ll either get what you want or you won't.

(please don't send that in a text-say it in ...heres a novel idea...say it in a face to face discussion...

LegacyUser

That takes all the mystery and fun out of it though doesn't it??

Wibbs

Maybe, but IMHO men are less into the mystery part than women. In general of course.

prinz

Yup, he got his and now he'll give the cold shoulder. Relationship Issue solved. Live and learn. If he's that full on on the first night you should have realised there was only one thing on his mind.... If a fella is really interested he should have no problem waiting. If he's constantly trying it on and pressuring you into it he's a knob thinking with his own.

LegacyUser

prinz wrote: »

Yup, he got his and now he'll give the cold shoulder. Relationship Issue solved. Live and learn. If he's that full on on the first night you should have realised there was only one thing on his mind.... If a fella is really interested he should have no problem waiting. If he's constantly trying it on and pressuring you into it he's a knob thinking with his own.

So why did he surprise me by showing up to take me for lunch today? And we're going to the cinema tomorrow.

Granted I was a bit paranoid myself but I should have given him the benefit of the doubt... they don't all think like you Prinz.

Dimitri

Wibbs wrote: »

Maybe, but IMHO men are less into the mystery part than women. In general of course.

Without a shadow of a doubt! People are far too invested in the chase for my liking and applying all sorts of rules to dating whatever happened to if it feels good do it? Op if you are kind of keen on the lad i'd say lay yours cards out go for broke most of us only live once.

Salome

I think some mystery is good - don't give away the goods too soon.

Some men actually have more respect for a woman that doesn't put out too early - intrigue them and they come back for more.