Clubs

poisonated

Does any one else have this problem...
I am an overly shy guy due to lack of conhfidence (also.. not bragging but mose people like me.... I think:o
Im 18 and when ever I go to a club I freeze up around women.I feel uncomfortable dancing with them and am affraid of getting too personal and bieng rejected...or worse.Anyway does anyone have advice on chatting up women.Please dont slag,im so ashamed writing this:o
also i have braces,am I just fooling myself or is this a serious disability in terms of getting with girls?

RacoonQueen

I always hated clubs and having drunk weirdos coming up to me on the dance floor and grinding their groin into mine in a pathetic attempt to be remotely sexy. Gah the memories.

Edit: sorry that wasn't very helpful.

RacoonQueen

I think a lot of guys get nervous trying to chat women up in clubs, IMO they're REALLY not the place for meeting someone. The majority of people are absolutely off their face and you can't talk anyway. A nice late bar where you actually can chat someone up is much better they always have dancefloors too so you can follow who ever you've been hounding and boogy down with them.

poisonated

Thanks mp1972 your probably right

pierrot

smoking area mate

LD 50

Yea, clubs suck when trying to hook up on a night out. Bars, late bars, especially those with a dance floor and house parties are best. It's not too loud, you don't have to shout into each others ears, and usually aren't drunken messes.

As for the braces, dont worry about them. If a girl says no because of your braces, you're better off without her. Had braces myself, still managed to score and get a girlfriend.

Dord

You know that you don't have to go to clubs?

To be honest they're probably the worse place to talk to people. You might be better off in pubs or wherever else. Personally, I absolutely hate clubs.

Concentrate on having a laugh with your mates in the club, don't worry about other people around you.

Then if it so happens you get talking to some girls, be relaxed and just be cool.

Dont worry about the braces, i met my girlfriend when i had braces, she was actually disappointed when they were gone lol.

turgon

poisonated theres no need to be "ashamed"!

Firstly club is really only a place to "get your score" as it were, your realistically not going to go much further unless your into her. Just because your nervous doesnt mean you cant get girls!!!!

As regards the fear: that is perfectly normal. One of my friends is like SO confident around his friends and everything, but when to comes to girls he just freezes up. It probably gets easier as you go along.

Braces dont make a difference AT ALL.

And finally, and I dont mean to sound condescending here, but lots of girls are really attracted to shy guys, my girlfriend. Its just about meeting them in the right place and even getting a little chat going.

JangoFett

poisonated wrote: »

Does any one else have this problem...
I am an overly shy guy due to lack of conhfidence (also.. not bragging but mose people like me.... I think:o
Im 18 and when ever I go to a club I freeze up around women.I feel uncomfortable dancing with them and am affraid of getting too personal and bieng rejected...or worse.Anyway does anyone have advice on chatting up women.Please dont slag,im so ashamed writing this:o
also i have braces,am I just fooling myself or is this a serious disability in terms of getting with girls?

Hey man,

I hear where you're coming from and I've been there, I used to be so cripplingly shy around women it became a problem for even my friends. I'm 23 now and still shy, but I did learn that the thing is to go out and just have fun. Don't go and try to score or get laid. If you have fun rather than NOT SCORE, you'll have a better night. You'll dance more and when you just dance, who knows, maybe a girl will dance with you, maybe she won't it's no big deal!!

Trust me, they're only women, not wild animals...only if you get lucky!!

I know that only time will help you, so the best of luck to you!!!

Wibbs

KamiKazi banned for a week for advocating drug use and rick rolling. Read the charter before you come back. Post deleted.

julien69

maybe u should drink alot to give yourself some confidence.Then go onto the dancefloor and act like a knacker.The women seem to love knackers.Dont ask me why.Women are pathetic.

Wibbs

julien69 only helpful posts(and those vaguely based in reality) are welcome around here. Thanks.

Cianos

The main advice I would give is just to practice practice practice! Yes, rejection is sh!t, but the thing is, even the most confident and attractive guys get rejected the vast majority of the time...that's just the way it is so you better get used to it. But the more you try, the sooner you'll get somewhere.

Don't try and meet women on the dance floor...unless you are an amazing dancer oozing confidence you're probably not going to get very far. Rather just try make conversation with girls at any opportunity. Sit at the bar with a friend, and say hello to the girls that come up for drinks. Don't come across as sleazy or macho, just be fun and light hearted, make them laugh. Approach girls that you're not even attracted to - this can be a good way to engage in conversation without getting nervous or fearful of rejection.

pingpongz

Buy some cool clothes - get fashion advice from girls if you dont have a clue yourself. The more unique you look the more you will get noticed, this is called peacocking.

Try to talk to as many people in the club as possible, guys included. This builds up social proof which girls will notice. Eventually when you have enough of this, girls will start to approach you

Have fun.. always smile and use confident body language (ie dont stand stiff and straight, why not lean against something?)

Work out routines to talk to girls.. make up funny stories, ask for the girls opinions on this from fashion to tv.

Make sure to touch girls lightly on the arm etc when you joke with them.. this is called kino and is important in allowing the girl to become comfortable around you.

Practice, practice, practice! You will get rejected alot for the first few nights until you build up confidence and routines that work for you.


If you're in the Cork area PM me. Me and my wingmen practice picking up girls every week and have become very successful at it - might be able to teach you a few things.

adzer86

I agree with most of what pingpongz said there. If you look individual/unique you have already been noticed, even if its just a glance, you will remain in the back of girls minds. On a side note, i wouldnt worry about being rejected one bit. me and my pals when going out on the town are demons for trying to pull girls. One of my mates (probably the best looking out of us) gets refused so many times by girls it is actually funny. He says the most random/stupid things to them and usually gets no where but the main thing is he/we have the attitude that if she says no, so bloody what!! next please.
Main Rule is DO NOT GET FLAPPED!!!!

julien69

Get plastered and then go to the dancefloor clinging on to every yoke u see.You will eventally get some ole whore,trust me.And buy the girl a soft drink but spike it with a load of vodka.That usually makes them mad for sex .Vodka+girls=sex:D

Beruthiel

julien69 wrote: »

Get plastered and then go to the dancefloor clinging on to every yoke u see.You will eventally get some ole whore,trust me.And buy the girl a soft drink but spike it with a load of vodka.That usually makes them mad for sex .Vodka+girls=sex:D

Not reading the Forum Charter + Unhelpful comments = Ban

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julien69

Sorry i was just posting some tips,it works for me;)

Nevyn

Drugging a woman with alcohol to lower her inhibitions is a forum of date rape and illegal and boards.ie will not tolerate or condone illegal activities.

poisonated

Thanks for the replies guys,probably just teenage ****e which everyone goes through.pingpongz unfortunately im in dublin so that wouldnt work...thanks though