Homewreaker

LegacyUser

Ok bit of a dilemma

I was stupid enough to have an affair on my partner of 5 years. It ended nearly 2 years ago, my partner knows he forgave me and we are better than ever. I bumped into the guy at a concert a few months ago- talk about uncomfortable. Minute we locked eyes i ran away.

Thing is a girl i work with the last few months suddenly stopped talking to me and throwing me looks etc. I thought she was just being a bitch, until she pulled me aside and told me that i broke her and her bf up.

The guy i had an affair with , after i broke it off he started dating her, then around the time of the concert he became weird with her. Ignored her for days on end, and then they were having sex one night and he called out my name. I have a very unique name so she knew it was me. She basically dumped him. But now she has told everyone and i am being called a "homewreaker" at work.

I regret my affair but its not my fault he called out my name in bed- how exactly am i a homewreaker just because my ex still thinks about me. Im in bits here im totally ignored in work i just feel so down.I used to have mates in work and now they just throw me looks and talk about me behind my back

Bottle_of_Smoke

Sure he wasn't seeing her before/during your affair?

star-pants

That does sound odd -- if it ended 2 years ago -- was this guy still seeing the current girl in work? Just if they were together and you were with him, then in a roundabout way she has a point of being annoyed with you.
If they weren't together at the time, then it's completely not your fault and you should make that known to your friends in work. Explain you were with the guy like 2 years ago and haven't been in contact since. It's rather unfair of them to take her side if you are in the clear.

Nervous Wreck

Yeah, I don't really see how that makes you a homewrecker tbh. Just talk to her.

LegacyUser

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

Sure he wasn't seeing her before/during your affair?

no she told me herself that they met a few months after i dumped him

LegacyUser

star-pants wrote: »

That does sound odd -- if it ended 2 years ago -- was this guy still seeing the current girl in work? Just if they were together and you were with him, then in a roundabout way she has a point of being annoyed with you.

No she met him a few months after i dumped him, but she maintains i must still have been talking to him if i was still on his mind. Which is not fair its not my fault he was thinking about me

star-pants wrote: »

If they weren't together at the time, then it's completely not your fault and you should make that known to your friends in work. Explain you were with the guy like 2 years ago and haven't been in contact since. It's rather unfair of them to take her side if you are in the clear.

I have spoken to them(well tried) but they just say "Oh janice has told us everything you did so stop making up lies" Iv said this to the girl behind it and she said everything shes said is true that if it wasnt for me she would be happy. How she comes to this conclusion ive no idea

star-pants

homewreaker wrote: »

No she met him a few months after i dumped him, but she maintains i must still have been talking to him if i was still on his mind. Which is not fair its not my fault he was thinking about me

Well then you're in the clear - you can't go round blaming peoples exs for current issues..

homewreaker wrote: »

I have spoken to them(well tried) but they just say "Oh janice has told us everything you did so stop making up lies" Iv said this to the girl behind it and she said everything shes said is true that if it wasnt for me she would be happy. How she comes to this conclusion ive no idea

Ok, this girl doesn't sound like the nicest of people, that's just mean and vendictive of her to imply you were involved in the breakup. This guy I assume isn't in your workplace? so there's no chance he could clear the air?
As hard as it is, I would ignore this girl - she's jealous because he was thinking about an ex. Thus she puts the blame on you. It's amazing how some people place the blame on others during/after a breakup. Anything to clear themselves. Of course it wasn't her, and it couldn't have been him, so it must have been you

As regarding your other co-workers, it's horrible but I don't think there's much you can do, the more you try to convince them of your innocence, the more they're probably going to assume you're not. So I'd leave them be, if they say anything just say 'I know the truth and that's all that matters, you've shown where your loyalties lie'
People always like to belive the gossip, the worst, rather than the truth. Unfortunate but true

JJJJNR

Serves you right.. you reap what you sow etc..

Wibbs

JJJJNR helpful posts only please.

JJJJNR

I am being helpful, obviously the crowd in work have morals and are right about something. Fair play to them.. OP wanted her cake and ate it, couple of years later bites her in the *ss..

Why would anyone want to be helpful.

Honestly guys, there are people here with genuine relationship problems.

MeMyself&I

I wouldnt call her horrible, after all she did split up with her boyfriend, she thinks your are a homewrecker, because its because of you that they broke up. She is bitter towards you.
If he hadnt of called out your name during sex, then maybe they would still be together,

anyways, who cares, you know you didnt do anything wrong!! Have a word with her and tell her to cop herself on.

Scorpio Girl

try your best to ignore her and your mutual stupid childish co workers. shows how insecure the silly bitch is.

Wibbs

JJJJNR wrote: »

Why would anyone want to be helpful.

I dunno, humanity, empathy, understanding of the specific context. The list is long

Honestly guys, there are people here with genuine relationship problems.

*Mod hat on* Please refrain from making judgement calls on the seriousness or not of peoples issues, as it is neither your place nor your call. Please read the charter of this forum. Thank you.

Carpaydiem

Just think to yourself that you must be a lot better than her if her boyfriend starts ignoring her because of what he remembers you for 2 whole years ago

And ya know what, she's jealous of you because because of that - hence the bitchiness / blame.

Just clear the air with your friends at work, and tell her where to go.

yellowcurl

This other woman seems to be simply looking for someone to place the blame on for the breakdown of her relationship rather than just accepting that it probably wasn't meant to be or that it just fizzled out.

OP people in work will get over it, something else just as "scandalous" will crop up and all will be forgotten. Hold your head up high and remember that at the end of the day, you know that you did nothing to tamper with this womans relationship.

Also, if the environment in work turns into bullying/cold shouldering, it might be a good idea to keep a note of what is being done. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and people treating you in such a way while believing everything that one person is saying without letting you explain anything really don't sound like intelligent people tbh.

MonicaBing

yellowcurl wrote: »

This other woman seems to be simply looking for someone to place the blame on for the breakdown of her relationship rather than just accepting that it probably wasn't meant to be or that it just fizzled out.

OP people in work will get over it, something else just as "scandalous" will crop up and all will be forgotten. Hold your head up high and remember that at the end of the day, you know that you did nothing to tamper with this womans relationship.

Also, if the environment in work turns into bullying/cold shouldering, it might be a good idea to keep a note of what is being done. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and people treating you in such a way while believing everything that one person is saying without letting you explain anything really don't sound like intelligent people tbh.

A mod in the making here....excellent reply:)

yellowcurl

MonicaBing wrote: »

A mod in the making here....excellent reply:)

Why thank you! Always hate when people are being mistreated, think it brings out the softer side in me