Is it ignorance or is it just me?

LegacyUser

Hi guys,
I guess this is just something I'd like to get off my chest, but any further input would be appreciated.
I feel that, with any type of contact that isn't face-to-face, I'm just being ignored.. I mean last summer I applied to loads of places looking for work and only one got back to me telling that there were no current vacancies. Now I know jobs are tight but a simple 'thanks but no thanks' would be sufficient. On top of that, meeting new people (through work or college stuff) and texting them or contacting them on Facebook, so many times I just get no reply, as opposed to 'sorry, I'm not bothered to reply' or whatever.
Now I know I shouldn't take it to heart, but when it seems so prevalent, it does become very disheartening. I am a friendly, down-to-earth guy who can be a wee bit shy, but I amn't nasty nor do I look like an ogre or a psychopath, but it forces me to really doubt myself. So is this what society is about. sifting through the crap to find the genuine people?
Thanks again

Dudess

Sorry if this answer doesn't seem helpful but I honestly think it's the correct one: you're thinking about stuff too much - reading into it, analysing it... whatever way you want to put it. Some people do that, others think about it briefly and then - water off a duck's back, others don't even notice it in the first place.
You're taking it personally, when it's not. Employers don't know you from adam so they won't try to insult you - they just treat you like anyone else. You're not the only one who got no acknowledgement when you applied for work.
Facebook etc: no harm is meant - people are just busy, they mean to get back to you but don't, etc. It's annoying when you're probably more thoughtful than that, but such is life - some people aren't "thoughtful" when it comes to stuff like this which isn't important (as long as they're on the ball for the stuff that's actually important, that's ultimately all that matters).

LegacyUser

I can quite identify with you OP.

Not so much with job applications or non-personal interaction like that, but more so with friends and relatives.

Like you I am also shy but I still make a great effort with people. I never let people down, always turn up to their events with the card and present on time. Am a good listener, dont go on about myself too much, take an interest in peoples kids/partners/hobbies etc

But what do I get back, sweet fanny adams......

I have never in my life had a Birthday cake, dont laugh. I have done countless collections etc for people in work but yet have rarely gotten a scratch card from people...

I got a measly 4 Birthday cards this year, seriously I know its not all about money but one of my best friends didnt even text me.

My sister lived abroad and I must have spent thousands going to see her and her kids over the years, she is back now but barely lifts the phone to me -she lives around the corner, I wonder why I bother. I get that she has kids but nothing....EVER...weeks pass, id I didn't phone or call I wonder would she ever.....

Sometimes the nicer you are and the more trouble you go to for people the more easily they take you for granted, thats all I can come up with.

I am not going to say the usual cliche OP "dont take it to heart" because despite always being really easygoing and forgiving to people it does hurt.

Terodil

A lot of people are quite thoughtless and inconsiderate these days. An analysis or explanation might take this thread into humanities I guess, but I feel your pain. It can be exasperating and disappointing to the extreme to witness, especially when you *know* they don't mean it but can't help noticing and taking it to heart.

No solution to this one, I'm afraid, except deciding if you want to adapt or just bear it. *shrug*

cantdecide

I'd admit to being the same. People don't recognise that you actually can be shy and a 'people person' at the same time.

It's hard to be a sympathetic person among cynics. I want to know what people are about and what makes them tick. The relationships in my life are so important to me and I'm not a needy person but it can be very hard when you're dismissed without thought.

I tried online dating recently and among other reasons I gave it up because of the lack of replies to well thought out messages. I hadn't dismissed anyone that made contact with me (even if I knew I had no interest in them)...