Why I hate public transport

Dartz

1: It never arrives on time

2: Except when you're late.

3: There's always some bollox in the seat you want

4: If there's a seat at all.

5: The bastard opposite you has a boombox iPod

6: Or asks you to turn yours down.

7: But then, I have to hear you speak

8: Because people just can't shut up and be quiet.

9: Some fat **** asks me to move my bag from the seat

10: But he's so big he should've paid twice instead

11: Some scumbags are after setting the bus on fire,

12: But sure, the next one will be a half hour.... maybe.

13: If they don't go on strike in the meantime.

14: But the worst thing, the absolute worst thing about Public transport. Is the GODDAMNED PUBLIC.

So perhaps if you see me today, in a grey coat with a backpack on. Kindly **** off and leave me alone, alright? I don't get in your way, so stay the hell out of mine.

Thank you.

chopperbyrne

Ever considered walking, cycling or driving instead?

If you don't like to be around other members of the public you have serious issues then public transport is not for you.

Dartz

chopperbyrne wrote: »

Ever considered walking, cycling or driving instead?

If you don't like to be around other members of the public you have serious issues then public transport is not for you.

To far to walk/cycle. Can't afford to drive. I'm stuck with people. Hell is other people. Always intruding into my little circle around me.

Wagon

Dartz wrote: »

To far to walk/cycle. Can't afford to drive. I'm stuck with people. Hell is other people. Always intruding into my little circle around me.

So you sit on a bus and glare at people listening to music? Some old woman in a que at the bank asked me to turn it down once. I beat the living **** out of her and threw her in front of a bus passing by outside. If you don't want to end up buried under a bank, i suggest you start walking.

c - 13

Jesus, you dont half contradict yourself do you ?

Mark200

Dartz wrote: »

4: If there's a seat at all.

Dartz wrote: »

5: The bastard opposite you has a boombox iPod

6: Or asks you to turn yours down.

Dartz wrote: »

9: Some fat **** asks me to move my bag from the seat

Dartz wrote: »

14: But the worst thing, the absolute worst thing about Public transport. Is the GODDAMNED PUBLIC.

Sounds a bit hypocritical to me.

beerbaron

If you dont like the busses, try the Dartz

Sam Vimes

You'll like this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YmvevAvhyM

jim o doom

chopperbyrne wrote: »

Ever considered walking, cycling or driving instead?

If you don't like to be around other members of the public you have serious issues then public transport is not for you.

That's not strictly true.

I don't have any problem with most of the unwashed masses myself - I like socialising in pubs from time to time, goin to the cinema etc, but mother of feck do I hate public transport.

Full of dirty, rude sometimes smelling of urine fecks - many times driven by a rude boll0cks who delights in driving away from a stop with some poor sap sprinting up the road attempting to catch said bus.. and don't even TALK about the "fun" of getting the fight-link home.

Thank christ I've been a biker with my own transport for over ten years. Fúck public transport.

And the funny thing is the government try to increase taxation and charges on those of us foolish enough to own our own vehicles but don't provide an acceptable alternative in the shape of FUNCTIONAL public transport that actually works on the amazing and dangerous magical concept of scheduling.

flyton5

Walk everywhere. It's cheaper, you don't have to listen to other peoples iPods, it doesn't smell like piss and you're not sitting next to some guy in a bright white tracksuit who really, REALLY wants to try out his new syringe on you.

Dartz

c - 13 wrote: »

Jesus, you dont half contradict yourself do you ?

That's half the point.... I know I contradict myself. I know I'm being hypocritical. I mean what I say though. I was very careful about that.

jester77

I love public transport

biko

If you leave your bag on the seat there is a distinct possibility someone will ask you remove it. Seats are for butts, not bags.

Wagon

ILet's take apart the rant bit by bit...

Dartz wrote: »

1: It never arrives on time

True. Can't fault that.

2: Except when you're late.

Well yes, if you showed up at a bus stop late and then the bus showed up soon after, it's not one time. It was also late.

3: There's always some bollox in the seat you want

I've yet to see a pair if discarded testicles on a bus seat.

4: If there's a seat at all.

I remember once when i was a young lad i got on a bus with no seats and I later realised it was large flatbed lorry. I went straight to the opticians and never once made that same mistake again.

5: The bastard opposite you has a boombox iPod

The bastard opposite to you might just have a different MP3 player. I find that you assume all music lovers are whores to the Apple brand highly offensive.

6: Or asks you to turn yours down.

So you also have an iPod! After you complain about others having them too!? Dear oh dear...

7: But then, I have to hear you speak

My voice is quite lyrical. A few words and your pants will be down your ankles. Again ironic, as I find people who have sex in public very very rude.

8: Because people just can't shut up and be quiet.

True. Many don't know sign language and use their mouths to talk instead. I am also one of these people, and I do apologise.

9: Some fat **** asks me to move my bag from the seat

Well now, you seem like a fit youngster with an iPod. Wouldn't the obese person need a seat more than your bag? I don't think the bag would mind.

10: But he's so big he should've paid twice instead

But how could be afford lunch then?

11: Some scumbags are after setting the bus on fire,

Again, I've yet to see a bus show up on fire and the driver make me pay the full fare.

12: But sure, the next one will be a half hour.... maybe.

Just be late. Problem solved.

13: If they don't go on strike in the meantime.

Well they probably wont. Never has a bus turned me away with the excuse that a strike was called within the time it took for the driver to apply the brakes and open teh door.

14: But the worst thing, the absolute worst thing about Public transport. Is the GODDAMNED PUBLIC.

and when you get off the bus, you're in big trouble then. Because you'll still be in public.

So perhaps if you see me today, in a grey coat with a backpack on. Kindly **** off and leave me alone, alright?

Okay. I just thought you were friendly and wanted to say hello.

I don't get in your way, so stay the hell out of mine.

A person who values their personal space isa person who values their personal space.

Thank you.

No problem, but I think we can be more than friends.

phenomenon

I don't think anyone enjoys public transport to be honest (with the exception of perverts who may get a thrill out of rubbing up against people on the DART).

But we can endure it. It's not a fcuking roller coaster ride, meant to be enjoyed. A bus is meant to get you from A to B.

Biggins

Dartz wrote: »

1: It never arrives on time
Always annoying but thats life, crap happens!
2: Except when you're late.
Murphys law!
3: There's always some bollox in the seat you want
Maybe that person was you yesterday - and some else wanted your seat?
4: If there's a seat at all.
Did you really expect one? Nice to get one alright but one has to realistic. I agree it's unfair considering the money you paid.
5: The bastard opposite you has a boombox iPod
You have mobile phone! Walkman/CD/MP3 Player! Annoying droning on and on voice?
6: Or asks you to turn yours down.
Tell him he/she must have sensitive ears. They should really get them checked out! Might be deadly!
7: But then, I have to hear you speak
Why? Is there really anything THAT interesting to hear?
8: Because people just can't shut up and be quiet.
Gawd bless the invention of ear plugs.
9: Some fat **** asks me to move my bag from the seat
Ok - so you ask the wife to move!
10: But he's so big he should've paid twice instead
Yea, but he'll be dead quicker from heart attack, one more empty hospital bed hopefully available for you when its your turn!
11: Some scumbags are after setting the bus on fire,
Then is a good time to urinate!
12: But sure, the next one will be a half hour.... maybe.
Cool - time to practise your witty chat-up lines.
13: If they don't go on strike in the meantime.
Aaa come on! Everyone needs a long tea break once in a while!
14: But the worst thing, the absolute worst thing about Public transport. Is the GODDAMNED PUBLIC.
Yea, they can be feckers- push them all off!

Have a nice day.

AnonoBoy

If you're in Dublin then get the LUAS. It has a display telling you when the next one is and you don't get any of that sort of nonsense on the LUAS*.


*This applies to Green Line LUAS only. Red Line LUAS is full of them working class types.

OldGoat

Interesting list. I was particulary impressed by the way you put all the numbers in sequential order.
Bravo Sir.

flyton5

phenomenon wrote: »

I don't think anyone enjoys public transport to be honest (with the exception of perverts who may get a thrill out of rubbing up against people on the DART).

But we can endure it. It's not a fcuking roller coaster ride, meant to be enjoyed. A bus is meant to get you from A to B.

Ehhh it's not just the Dart. You can do it on the Luas, a bus, a bus stop, a train etc. You brought it up cause you enjoy it. I enjoy doing it. Which stop is yours? We could meet up.

jim o doom

phenomenon wrote: »

I don't think anyone enjoys public transport to be honest (with the exception of perverts who may get a thrill out of rubbing up against people on the DART).

But we can endure it. It's not a fcuking roller coaster ride, meant to be enjoyed. A bus is meant to get you from A to B.

Whilst in essence I agree - the public transport I've used in Holland, Germany & in the UK was significantly less shít than the pathetic excuse that we have in Ireland.

And to another poster rubbishing claims of the bus fire; the ENTIRETY of the bus may not be burned, but visit any 130 or 31 going to swords, and check the seats on the top level - especially near the back - most will have lighter burn marks and various graffitti - I saw those burn marks on a daily basis when I had to get the bus - and I still see them the odd time I'm forced to get it these days as well.

Turd Ferguson

Dartz wrote: »

1: It never arrives on time (Except when you're late.)

2: There's always some bollox in the seat you want (If there's a seat at all.)

3: The bastard opposite you has a boombox iPod or asks you to turn yours down(But then, I have to hear you speak because people just can't shut up and be quiet.)

4: Some fat **** asks me to move my bag from the seat but he's so big he should've paid twice instead

5: Some scumbags are after setting the bus on fire, but sure, the next one will be a half hour.... maybe. (If they don't go on strike in the meantime.)

6: But the worst thing, the absolute worst thing about Public transport. Is the GODDAMNED PUBLIC.

So perhaps if you see me today, in a grey coat with a backpack on. Kindly **** off and leave me alone, alright? I don't get in your way, so stay the hell out of mine.

Thank you.

Most of your "points" were not points at all and did not deserve their own numbers
Don't worry, I fixed it for you

Sephiroth_dude

its never on time and theres always loud teenagers blaring there music in back :mad:

Dartz

Dartz wrote: »

To far to walk/cycle.

How far?

Loomis

It's always good when the passengers are the problem.
On the 67A and some absolute Yeti got on with a pram, no child in it, and two girls in their early teens. The girls went upstairs and the Yeti sat down the back of the bus where I was sitting. Another guy across from me immediately got up and went upstairs. I should have gotten the hint.
Right away you could smell the alcohol off her and didn't take her long to take out the bottle. Then she started shouting up to her children in a husky voice and accent synonymous with the traveling community. "Nancy, Nancy..." until the daughter came down the stairs to actually speak to her.
Bus was packed by the next stop and a girl sitting immediately opposite me was making faces as though she'd be physically sick - I couldn't see what yer one was doing because there were people between me and her to my right. Next thing I know is most of the people sitting around me jump up and hurriedly move up the bus. Then the smell hit me and her mess started sliding along the ground. She'd gotten sick all over the place and all down herself. She took off her fleece, rolled it into a ball and threw it on the chair in front of her.

Another time, again on the 67A, two vertically challenged itinerants got on looking like they hadn't washed in about a decade. He was half asleep. He rested his head against the side of the bus and conked out. After a while she started shouting at him telling him to wake up. Followed by loud slaps across the face. The she took him by the hair, pulled him until he was upright and then slammed his head back into the side of the bus. This continued for a while along with her pouring a can over his head and down his neck.
It eventually took the driver to go over to him and give him a good shove until he woke so he could get off at his stop.

The second incident was comedy gold to be honest but the first one was disgusting.

darkdubh

Dartz wrote: »

To far to walk/cycle. Can't afford to drive. I'm stuck with people. Hell is other people. Always intruding into my little circle around me.

Move to Leitrim then,nobody around for miles .

Mc Love

flyton5 wrote: »

Walk everywhere. It's cheaper, you don't have to listen to other peoples iPods, it doesn't smell like piss and you're not sitting next to some guy in a bright white tracksuit who really, REALLY wants to try out his new syringe on you.

The exception to this is in LA.......

Mr. Anderson wrote: »

The second incident was comedy gold to be honest but the first one was disgusting.

I thought the first one was priceless, was holding in the laughter!

SV

Dónal wrote: »

How far?

these days anything up from a mile is too far.

apparently.
bit sad.

chin_grin

Dartz wrote: »

3: There's always some bollox in the seat you want

Definitely, definitely your seat?

Hey, do that card-counting trick again.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

youcrazyjesus!

9: Some fat **** asks me to move my bag from the seat

Get your bag up off the seat, unless you bought it a ticket let somebody sit down ffs.

Swampy

It sucks donkey balls.

Dartz

youcrazyjesus! wrote: »

Get your bag up off the seat, unless you bought it a ticket let somebody sit down ffs.

I usually have a computer and some breakables in there. It'll get stolen on the buses luggage rack, and has been kicked before on the floor.

OldGoat

Dartz wrote: »

I usually have a computer and some breakables in there. It'll get stolen on the buses luggage rack, and has been kicked before on the floor.

Then put it on your lap ffs and stop hogging the seats.

Overheal

I get my full license on thursday so I may never again be able to relate to this humourous telling of commuter grief. I've moved on to bigger and better things, like parking tickets, and gas economy, and that asshole who insists that tailgating you gets him to work 3 seconds faster.

Though the last time I got on bus eirann I had to snake-crawl onto the ffar side of that really narrow part of the cargo racks when everything slid over there. I still havent gotten the stains out of that shirt.

Mc Love

Overheal wrote: »

and that asshole who insists that tailgating you gets him to work 3 seconds faster.

GTFO out of the overtaking lane then!!! :rolleyes:

Overheal

sparkysrovers wrote: »

GTFO out of the overtaking lane then!!! :rolleyes:

There are such things as a 2-lane road too you know :rolleyes: motorway drivers that think they're god's gift to the road

norwegianwood

Dartz wrote: »

1: It never arrives on time

And you live in Dublin? My heart bleeds for you:mad:
Try living in Cork, buses come every two hours if that, and i don't think i've ever had a bus come on time.
And you with your range of public transport.....luas,dart, bus and they're building a tube afaik, you don't know how good you have it so stop your whinging!

Captain Darling

I was getting the train up to Dublin, from Galway last Sunday week, when some scummer puked on the back of the seat i was sitting at. He also puked into a plastic bag.

The sound of his puke hitting the bottom of the bag in a wet, slather will stick with me for a while, not too mention the smell of puke multipled by ten, in a fairly packed train. I'm also never going to have oxtail soup again, cos thats what his barf smelled like.

Fcuking ignorant cnut didnt even go to the jacks. He just stayed siting there. Wallowing in his pukey seat.

Mc Love

that is disgusting

sdanseo

Dartz wrote: »

1So perhaps if you see me today, in a grey coat with a backpack on. Kindly **** off and leave me alone, alright? I don't get in your way, so stay the hell out of mine.

Thank you.

Lol at your name.

On topic, whatever happened these rail security folks, I've only ever seen them once outside of Connolly, on a platform at Howth Junction looking bored. Couldn't they be on the train kicking twatbags with loud iPods (or those annoying gaggles of schoolkids who just CAN'T shut the **** up) off?

UnderpantsGnome

And I got lambasted for making stoopid threads??!

Ghost Train

i find the dart seats kind of weird... you have to sit directly opposite some stranger... and the trains with half the leg room are painful

Mc Love

I used to hate taking the buses, there were these kids that sat close to me on the bus that smelled of dettol!

Oh and even worse when you have a hangover and someone of Indian nature sits beside you and all you can smell is curry!!:mad:

6th

I love public transport as a novelty (rubbing off strangers etc) but if I had to do it everyday I might feel different.

Mr.Lizard

I like public transport mainly because the service is so bad in my area that nobody ever uses it! Going into work I always have a bench to myself and 'rowdiest' people i have on the journey are a few noisy secondary school girls who get off two stops past my house anyway.

Could be a lot worse truth be told.

Wagon

Wagon wrote: »

ILet's take apart the rant bit by bit...

True. Can't fault that.

Well yes, if you showed up at a bus stop late and then the bus showed up soon after, it's not one time. It was also late.

I've yet to see a pair if discarded testicles on a bus seat.

I remember once when i was a young lad i got on a bus with no seats and I later realised it was large flatbed lorry. I went straight to the opticians and never once made that same mistake again.

The bastard opposite to you might just have a different MP3 player. I find that you assume all music lovers are whores to the Apple brand highly offensive.

So you also have an iPod! After you complain about others having them too!? Dear oh dear...

My voice is quite lyrical. A few words and your pants will be down your ankles. Again ironic, as I find people who have sex in public very very rude.

True. Many don't know sign language and use their mouths to talk instead. I am also one of these people, and I do apologise.

Well now, you seem like a fit youngster with an iPod. Wouldn't the obese person need a seat more than your bag? I don't think the bag would mind.

But how could be afford lunch then?

Again, I've yet to see a bus show up on fire and the driver make me pay the full fare.

Just be late. Problem solved.

Well they probably wont. Never has a bus turned me away with the excuse that a strike was called within the time it took for the driver to apply the brakes and open teh door.

and when you get off the bus, you're in big trouble then. Because you'll still be in public.

Okay. I just thought you were friendly and wanted to say hello.

A person who values their personal space isa person who values their personal space.

No problem, but I think we can be more than friends.

Brilliant.

I love Public Transport. Have been getting it practically every day since I was a child

banshee_bones

i hate it becuase it is unreliable and more often than not smells....

MadgeBadge

I'd generally agree, but this very morning, en route to my Spanish class (why oh why did I choose Saturday mornings!), there was a rather intoxicated gentleman singing 'Girls just wanna have fun' with such feeling and passion.

He made me smile. I'm still smiling

Motley Crue

The only piece about public transport that annoy's me is when people, of all race and creed and language, speak in a loud voice and try to involve the entire top deck of the bus in their conversation - so much so that you find yourself attempting to block it out with an IPod or MP3 player

....and then wonder why you, a paying customer, should have to drown your ears with music when the person behind you could (and most likely should) kindly lower their voice and continue their conversation in a more pleasant tone with less swearing...if its a private relationship matter I am sure the whole bus doesn't want to hear about why he was with her the other night and not with you....tbh, its prob cause you shout so much....

Although the Adidas tracksuit makes you feel treatened and you just shut your mouth regardless...

banshee_bones

yeah when its funny its funny, but only if your in form for it though!


Although I did see a man with a banana in his pocket on the bus one day, and no he was not happy to see me! He actually had a real banana in his trouser pocket!

Oh how i laughed....

Sam Vimes

Sam Vimes wrote: »

You'll like this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YmvevAvhyM

Anyone who hasn't clicked the above link, must do so immediately. Absolutely hilarious! Thank you!

banshee_bones

Sam Vimes wrote: »

You'll like this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YmvevAvhyM

Ha ha ha LOL, brilliant...... ahhhhh i dont envy ye up there in the big smoke!!! :pac: