Finally, met someone

LegacyUser

Well, frustrated 29 year old male here. have been unlucky in love and always seem to mess up with girlfriends in the past. had been really pissed off with the whole pub and club scene recently

Had even stopping going out - not bothered. stopped going to clubs for ages and kinda went mad into sports and training - not a bad thing either though.

Now, a few weeks ago i was at a house party (wasn't drinking) and met a nice girl. didn't chat her up or anything, but was talking to her. was out watching the rugby (drinking for first time in ages too) and spotted her across the pub. went over, we ended up kissing later in the night, got her number.

Have seen her a few times since and i have to say i'm enjoying her company more and more. she is smart and sexy

Question: What do I NOT do? so as not to mess up any chance I have with this woman!!

Please, any advice appreciated. A list of don't do's!!

Thanks

star-pants

First and foremost -- relax... if you overthink / overanalyse / over do anything, you'll mess it up without meaning to.

Continue as you have been, continue dates, express your interest in her (if ye aren't officially bf/gf and you'd like to). She likes you for the guy she met that day in the pub, and the guy she sees on your dates. Stay that guy. Best of luck

ellie1

LEARN from your previous mistakes and DONT make the same mistakes again.

littlefriend

Just be yourself - she obviously likes you that way.
Keep playing your sports and all of that. Its infinitely more attractive than a guy who sits in the pub at the weekend.
Be nice to her, keep your promises, don't lie and if she is someone worth having, you'll be fine.
Enjoy

LegacyUser

OP here again

right. so i need to basically relax. hard to do when I really like her...

mmmm i'll have to limit texting her. don't want to scare her off

star-pants

Relax is good, don't suddenly stop texting her though - if she's used to a good amount of texts, and responds then she's ok with it. You won't scare her off by being eager / excited at a new relationship. if she wants it she'll be just as excited/nervous as you.

seacláid-te

I think go the way your going and be yourself!! she obvious likes you so just keep the cool! best of luck:)

John Mason

dont sleep with her mother, sister or best friend

Wibbs

pink fluffy bunny helpful posts only please.

merlie

Unregistered wrote: »

Well, frustrated 29 year old male here. have been unlucky in love and always seem to mess up with girlfriends in the past. had been really pissed off with the whole pub and club scene recently

Had even stopping going out - not bothered. stopped going to clubs for ages and kinda went mad into sports and training - not a bad thing either though.

Now, a few weeks ago i was at a house party (wasn't drinking) and met a nice girl. didn't chat her up or anything, but was talking to her. was out watching the rugby (drinking for first time in ages too) and spotted her across the pub. went over, we ended up kissing later in the night, got her number.

Have seen her a few times since and i have to say i'm enjoying her company more and more. she is smart and sexy

Question: What do I NOT do? so as not to mess up any chance I have with this woman!!

Please, any advice appreciated. A list of don't do's!!

Thanks

Do – Stay Present, Keep Your Focus on the NOW
Don’t tell your life story on the first date
Don’t ask too many questions
Do keep your hopes, dreams and expectations in check!!!
Don’t jump to outcome
Don’t entertain thoughts of commitment
Do get on with your life
Don’t be hanging by the phone waiting for the next contact
Don’t break dates with your friends to be with your new love
Do relax, have fun, enjoy getting to know your new love interest – and yourself – better
Don’t allow yourself to let anxiety take control
Don’t try to mold the relationship or direct the flow


Be sincere, open and honest. Honesty and trust are the foundations of any lasting relationship. Be friendly, funny and above all caring.

Listen to what she has to say with genuine interest. Don't crowd her space, after all space is important too.

LegacyUser

Merlie's comments hit the nail on the head. Don't lose the run of yourself and don't think about what'll happen in the future. Just let things unfold naturally. Spend time with her but get on with your life. It's okay to THINK about this stuff, but getting too intense too early will freak her right out.

I made a post here last week as I'm in a similar situation and was useless at the relationship thing and very insecure. But I've seen her since having got a kick up the behind that I needed and I feel much better about it.

So just relax and enjoy yourself! Be yourself, that's who she likes.

tbh

don't overthink things. You be yourself, she'll be herself, and if ye like each other, you'll see more of each other. If you end up not progressing, don't beat yourself up over the whys and hows. Just enjoy what you have now, and worry about what might happen if and when it happens. And even then, don't worry too much.

LegacyUser

OP here again

she's still texting me anyway...

met up during the week. had a good chat over a mineral, bit of kissing.

so we'll take from here. thanks for all the advice. I've taken it on board and thought back to what the hell i did wrong with past relationships. trying not to make same mistakes again