Ejaculation problems

LegacyUser

ill cut to the chase with this one as its a bit delicate

i'm in my late 20's, reasonably fit and in good health. when i have sex i rarely seem to ejaculate. i can go for a long period but never seem to be able to climax. Without using condoms i can ocassionaly climax. its not a medical problem in that i can climax without difficulty by myself and i dont have any phycological problem that i am aware of. Its starting to become a real problem. is this common? is there any way of sorting it out? please dont suggest a sexual therapist.

Overheal

You could bring it up with a GP or a psychologist I suppose, or even as you say not to (why?) a sex therapist. Its unclear what the problem is from reading your post; it could be one of a thousand things. Keep a jot or journal of your experiences and use it to see if you dont find a pattern, whether it be a physical, mental, or environmental pattern.

bluecell99

Well it aint physical if you can do it yourself.So looking at psychological perhaps.Maybe you are not entirely happy or relaxed with your partner(s)?You dont really feel happy/fulfilled with them/you have issues completley trusting someone/intimacy.

There could be a number of reasons ,all of which can be helped.

Despite your reluctance an expert in the field could help enormously.

Make an appointment and start getting answers and moving on.They have seen it all before and are professional.

Good luck.

TheZohanS

Unregistered wrote: »

i can climax without difficulty by myself.

Stop doing the above for a while.

Bottle_of_Smoke

TheZohan wrote: »

Stop doing the above for a while.

Would agree. Don't ejaculate a few days before having sex and wait until you're really horny, try get your partner to tease you a lot before you actually have sex

aare

It's called "retarded ejaculation" or "delayed ejaculation" if you want to have a google to see if you can find anything to help you cope with it yourself.

...it tends to be related to tension and difficulty with relaxing in other areas, it can play havoc with your sex life...not to mention having a cumulative effect in terms of stress...and may set up a vicious circle in terms of the tension that was at the root of it in the first place.

I would say that, rather than regarding it as a sexual problem, per se, you regard it as a symptom of a far more general problem?

seanybiker

you are obviously aware of it now. So any time you do it now you are paranoid that it will happen again. You probably worry about it so much that it stops you from cumming. I know its easier said than done but relaxing should sort it out. Maybe more fore play before you actually insert your chap.
Danger sex might work either.

aare

seanybiker wrote: »

you are obviously aware of it now. So any time you do it now you are paranoid that it will happen again. You probably worry about it so much that it stops you from cumming. I know its easier said than done but relaxing should sort it out. Maybe more fore play before you actually insert your chap.
Danger sex might work either.

That is actually great, practical advice (though maybe go easy on the "danger sex"?:eek:). This link also gives an huge amount of information about dealing with the deeper issues involved:
http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/568819.html

LegacyUser

regular poster here with same problem.. i've never had an orgasm with a girl (i'm 22 nd had plenty of encounters) and find it a massive issue in my life.

i've an extremely insensitive glans so was thinking of a frenum piercing to try and get some extra feeling there..

it's weird to be a lad who fakes orgasm whenever it starts to get boring.. and i don't even try and pull much lately cause sex just aint that great.



so ya, ur not alone op. i'll be reading other people's advice as advice for myself also..

LegacyUser

have you tried a sex therapist?

aare

Unregistered wrote: »

regular
i've an extremely insensitive glans so was thinking of a frenum piercing to try and get some extra feeling there....

Please don't do that...it's very unlikely that your glans is more insensitive than anyone else's.

Unregistered wrote: »

it's weird to be a lad who fakes orgasm whenever it starts to get boring

...and stop that too...

There are lot's of other approaches.

I certainly think that you would give yourself a better chance in a relationship, with someone you get to know, and feel comfortable with, than through "pulling" and hoping it will work out "this time".

Incidentally, it is far easier for a woman to accept retarded ejaculation if, rather than hoping for the best, you explain beforehand so she knows that it isn't anything personal, and that you are attracted to her and enjoying sex with her anyway (or else you probably shouldn't bother?) and that, if she doesn't mind, you don't either.

While you search for solutions, if you do have a regular, understanding, partner you can even have a fabulous sex life by learning how to make this work *for* you.

LegacyUser

25, extremley fit, no stress in my life and I have the same problem. I just cant cum during intercourse and its starting to piss me off. No problem by myself but struggle with a partner. It usually gets to the point where the girl is asking if im tired cause its going on so long but im fine and just dont really get much feeling. I end up just pulling out and finishing myself off! Im starting to find sex boring and dont want this to be the case for the next 30-40 years. Ill be reading for opinions too.

LegacyUser

I think the problem is that you're feeling too much pressure to come. The more pressure the less likely you are to come.

When you're going solo you're less likely to feel any pressure because it's just you and you're not worried about what the other person is thinking.


If you're not comfortable telling the lady about your situation, try just making her come and if she asks why you haven't, just tell her you're more intrested in making her happy for now.

So just try to enjoy the act itself and just think of ejaculation as a bonus if it does happen.