Does Online Dating Really Work?

LegacyUser

Hi,

I started online dating a few months ago and went on a few dates which were fun but met someone 6 months ago from a site and we started dating from then. I have fallen for him but not sure if he feels the same. Found out recently that his account is still active and he has been on it lately whereas I deleted mine about a month ago. I'm afraid to ask him about it but at the same time I don't want to be wasting my time with him either.

He seems like such a genuine guy but can't help thinking maybe he's not really like that. I don't trust my own judgement after being hurt so many times in the past and find it so hard to trust people.

Any ideas?

psycho-hope

Hi unreg, I met my oh on a dating site about 6 months ago too, I still have my account active simply because I have made lots of female friends on the site and love the craic in the chatroom. So it could be somethin as simple as that, tho I think the only way you will find out for certain is to ask, if nothing else it will put your mind at rest

hussey

about as much as it does in real life

LegacyUser

Thanks for that. And did you tell your oh that you were still on it or has she asked at all? I don't want to come across as if I'm possessive or anything as I'm really not like that. Am I being unreasonable for wanting to know?

The Outlander

People have good and bad experiences. Unfortunatley, I had a really bad one. Ended up wasting almost a year with a nutcase who had anger issues. He was very manipulative and controlling. I had a very lucky escape.

sammyv

Hi i met my current b'f on a dating website...3 months into the relationship i noticed his account was still active, i went mad, and he had to cancel it.
My relationship isnt perfect now, but its normal one, normal problems, so yes i found it a very good idea, meet some good 'internet' friends on it

ask him to cancel his account+.

John Mason

Orls81 wrote: »

Hi i met my current b'f on a dating website...3 months into the relationship i noticed his account was still active, i went mad, and he had to cancel it.
My relationship isnt perfect now, but its normal one, normal problems, so yes i found it a very good idea, meet some good 'internet' friends on it

ask him to cancel his account+.

i have a friend who does the internet dating thing. he found a gf (not on the dating site) and she found out he still had an active online account. she went nuts he cancelled it


two day later he set another account, with a different name and change all his personal details like age, area, interests, so she couldnt find him. some people just like having their online persona's and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it,if you trust them.

here's the crux though, if you dont trust them you shouldnt be with them, so i would say to the OP and orls, you need to let your men go and move on with your life

sammyv

Yeah, i see what you are saying, but i suggested the site to my 2 friends, so they were also on it, and i didnt want them seeing his profile.

Anyways, i like him, want to be with him. I think in other posts i might have painted a bad pic of him, but we have lots of good times, definately outweigh that bad times.

im all for online datine, and if and when we do break up, i will be back on them sites.

The Outlander

Orls81 wrote: »

ask him to cancel his account+.

Yes, that's a good idea. He shouldn't have a problem with it if he really cares for you and knows it upsets you. Let's face it, the majority of people don't go on to a dating website for friendship...so I wouldn't agree with the friends argument. From my own experience, yes, I chatted to a lot of people when i tried on line dating...would i want to keep in contact with them...no. But that's just my personal experience.

John Mason

The Outlander wrote: »

Yes, that's a good idea. He shouldn't have a problem with it if he really cares for you and knows it upsets you. Let's face it, the majority of people don't go on to a dating website for friendship...so I wouldn't agree with the friends argument. From my own experience, yes, I chatted to a lot of people when i tried on line dating...would i want to keep in contact with them...no. But that's just my personal experience.

if your Partner asked you to cancel your Boards account as she didnt like you talking to strangers on the net - would you ?

i meet loads of friends from a particular dating site and kept my subscription going for a good while just to keep in contact on the chatrooms and for nothing else.

now we chat on facebook or here

purplekitty

hey, i met my bf online, and everything is going brilliantly....

i havent deleted my site tho, just out of pure non-interest and he hasnt deleted he's either.

i often get emails saying i got new mail or have been added as a friend by other members and 99% of the time i ignore them and delete the attention email, but i have, when bored, just clicked on just out of boredom to see whats happening.

i never reply to any new requests or anything,

just dont be worried bout him being online talking to other people.

if your happy with him, and you know he's happy with you then just realise that he mind be still connected to the site just as a past time, nothing more.

i understand why you'd be upset, but as someone in the reverse of your problem, let me tell you, you have nothing to worry bout.

chin up darling

xxx

The Outlander

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

?

i meet loads of friends from a particular dating site and kept my subscription going for a good while just to keep in contact on the chatrooms and for nothing else.

That's great. Good for you. Boards is different.

LegacyUser

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

i have a friend who does the internet dating thing. he found a gf (not on the dating site) and she found out he still had an active online account. she went nuts he cancelled it


two day later he set another account, with a different name and change all his personal details like age, area, interests, so she couldnt find him. some people just like having their online persona's and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it,if you trust them.

here's the crux though, if you dont trust them you shouldnt be with them, so i would say to the OP and orls, you need to let your men go and move on with your life

Well obviously she was right not to trust him if he was that sneaky. Glad you talk about the situation in the past tense, hopefully she dumped him. Finding the person I was going out with actively on a dating site would be a complete deal breaker for me.

John Mason

The Outlander wrote: »

That's great. Good for you. Boards is different.

Boards is absolutely no different to the date site i used.

people sat around their computer talking random shi.te to other people

and as far as i can see board is probably one of the most sucessful non-dating sites in ireland.

have you any idea who couples, weddings and babies caused by boards? a hell of a lot.

actually to be honest, i get more pm's here asking me out then i ever did on the date website

35notout

I never get PM's asking me out - unfair!

LegacyUser

hi,
just wondering what is the best on line dating web site thanks

Wibbs

35notout stay on topic please.

Terodil

TBH asking your [g|b]f to get off a specific communication platform on the intarwebs is a bit OTT and controlling. If s/he actually cheated on you that would be an entirely different matter, but as long as that doesn't happen I think you should grant him/her that freedom to breathe.

sunnyside out

i met my b/f on a dating site over a year ago, and i totally recommened it

we both have our profile still on and even, sit down at nites and be looking over who is on the boys/girls sites

(because you cant see the girls unless your logged in as a man
and vice-versa)

we both rarly go on it, just to check who has messenged us thats as far as it goes, no texting back

so i really wouldn worry, probley the fact he hasnt got around to clearing it yet

chiefwiggum

defo works..i was a bit skeptical at first but i met my girlfriend online and 2 1/2 years later things are flying and we,ve just built a house together.....

MJOR

I think they do. I met my OH online and we're getting married this year! Having said that like anything there are good and bad ones everywhere. I think you should just ask him. Are they other things that are making you doubt him?

psycho-hope

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks for that. And did you tell your oh that you were still on it or has she asked at all? I don't want to come across as if I'm possessive or anything as I'm really not like that. Am I being unreasonable for wanting to know?

Yep he does know I'm still on it and he says he dosent have a problem with it

i know no one who has met anyone online but everyone here has...

dny123456

i guess you're online then?

I met my P 8 years ago, online... both our accounts are still active, although I haven't been loggedin in ages, come to think of it....

LegacyUser

OK so the general sense here is that it's normal enough. I don't have any other reason to doubt him really but think it's just I'm expecting things to go wrong cos of past relationships. I'm very laid back and that seems to be what guys generally like about me....just wanted some opinions on this.

Thanks for your help guys

TheDriver

great place, works brilliantly. though some bad as well as good and some lovely people ut maybe no spark. I used plentyoffish.com. Cancelled my a/c as saw no point of having it, its like chatting women up in clubs when you have a gf?