Girls and one night stands (and men)

LegacyUser

why are girls such sluts? and men? like i can't understand how people have one night stands?!!! it's demeaning and i feel people who have them have no self respect! does anyone agree?

Silverfish

Which one are you? Are you male or female?

How is this a personal issue for you?

RossFixxxed

I don't see the issue.

And if 2 adults want to do something... let em away! Your moral compass is not everyone elses and it doesn't hurt you in any way...

liah

Who are you to judge the activities of others? It's simply none of your business. What people do in their own personal lives is just that-- personal. One night stands do NOT degrade a person's character. It is their choice, one they are comfortable with and confident with (usually). It's like criticizing someone for getting a tattoo or something. What they do with their bodies is their choice.

Get off your high horse and recognize that some people have different feelings about things than yourself and that it does not make them sluts, or bad in any way. It is simple choice. Get over it.

Mr. Incognito

Maybe you should have one. Might help you unwind whatever it is that you've got wound up there so tight.

Lollipops23

if being comfortable in your sexuality and confident enough to go out and satisfy your sexual needs makes you a slut, then yep lots of people are sluts,including me. cheers for your vote of confidence. if you don't like one nighters,then thats absolutely fine. just don't bring everyone else down.

Wagon

Unregistered wrote: »

why are girls such sluts? and men? like i can't understand how people have one night stands?!!! it's demeaning and i feel people who have them have no self respect! does anyone agree?

Kind of. It depends...

I'm a lad and I don't like them. But if two people fancy a shag and nothing else then good luck to em'. It's their choice and I don't see a problem and nor would I care.

What I do have a problem with though is getting used, like someone leading you on just to get their hole and then when you've served your purpose they tell you to piss off. That i can't understand.

Latchy

Op makes it sound like it's somethig new, like men and women have being meetin up for one night stands for decades and longer .

Dragan

Unregistered wrote: »

why are girls such sluts? and men? like i can't understand how people have one night stands?!!! it's demeaning and i feel people who have them have no self respect! does anyone agree?

Let me guess, some "slut" slept with a guy you like?

You will find life a lot easier when you grow up and realise to each their own and happily not everyone needs to live by whatever moral code you choose to adopt for yourself.

Now, if you don't mind i'm off to have some sex.

frag420

I fail to see your problem here op. If you dont like one night stands then you dont have to partake in them. I love one night stands and the women i sleep with like it too. We are all adults at the end of the day(or night). As long as its done safely and all bounderies are respected then i dont see the problem. I had two at the weekend on fri and last night and all involved were happy and contented. Nobody was hurt as everyone knew what they wanted from the outset. Heres to next weekend...............Oh and i aint a manwhore

LegacyUser

oops sorry - think i posted in the wrong forum! was just looking for other peoples opinions. I'm female by the way.

Dudess

Unregistered wrote: »

why are girls such sluts? and men?

And men what? And you didn't even say "some" girls - just "girls". Maybe it would be best not to make massive sweeping generalisations like that. Not all girls or guys have one-night stands. And not all girls who do it are "sluts" (I'm loath to use the word, but a slut to me is a girl who is out to "service" guys to make them like her, rather than considering her own needs - due to lack of self-esteem/respect), plenty of girls have one-night stands because they simply enjoy sex and want to experience it with lots of men, variety being the spice of life and all that.
I suspect there's a strong possibility you are jealous of people who get to experience sex with lots of different people. If so, no need to label them or make assumptions about their character. Work on your own confidence. I may appear presumptuous but if you were truly happy and confident in yourself you wouldn't be getting bothered about what other people get up to, apart from those who hurt and harm.

like i can't understand how people have one night stands?!!!

Right, so they're not your thing - but not everyone is the same as you. They're not my thing either (now. I went through a phase of them when I was younger all right) but some people don't need an emotional connection for great sex. Some people simply view sex as recreational and fun - their choice. We're all different - sex isn't about social trends, it's about the individual.

it's demeaning and i feel people who have them have no self respect!

How can it be demeaning or only the preserve of people who have no self respect if those concerned actually want to do it?

Oh The Humanity

Dudess wrote: »

plenty of girls have one-night stands because they simply enjoy sex and want to experience it with lots of men, variety being the spice of life and all that.

Exactly, there is nothing wrong with two free, consenting adults enjoying a sexual encounter. (use a condom though of course!)

sammyv

Try it!!!!

petethebrick

I just had one last night - it was great!:D

clones1980

EH Samantha from Sex in the City...

Shes not a slut, just enjoys a bit of fun

AngryBadger

Bluntly not all of us have such a pathetic and insecure take on sexuality. True there are some people who engage in sexual activities that they're in no way capable of handling from an emotional/psychological perspective. those people should not engage in one-night-stands or casual encounters.

However there are plenty of us who are responsible, consenting adults, and in that context both men and women enjoy indulging their sexual appetites outside the confines of a committed relationship.

In other words plenty of people who enjoy one-night-stands/casual encounters are able to do so because their sense of self is not tied into how anyone else might feel regarding their own sexual lifestyles. Erego we're able to meet someone, have a night of (hopefully) really good sex, and then never see them again without suffering the pathetic illusion that we've in some way compromised our moral integrity.

LegacyUser

but why would ye want to be with people ye hardly know? like - god knows where they have been!!! I know use protection but still!!! yuck!

Dudess

clonesbabe wrote: »

EH Samantha from Sex in the City...

Shes not a slut, just enjoys a bit of fun

Samantha's brilliant!

Wreck

(Safe) Sex is fun and good for you, more people should do it more often.

Terodil

AngryBadger wrote: »

Bluntly not all of us have such a pathetic and insecure take on sexuality. [...]

And you wanted to say, of course, that not wanting to engage in ONS does not mean that you are pathetic and have an insecure take on sexuality.

Calling people vile names because they decide to live out their sexuality responsibly and transparently for their partners is clearly not called for. It's nobody's business except maybe future partners. However it's perfectly okay to be after emotional attachment before you engage in sex. It's in no way prude or insecure (not to mention 'pathetic', lol) but as conscious a choice as going for ONS. You demand acceptance and respect for your choice, fair enough, but be prepared to hand out the same for people not sharing your approach to sexuality.

star-pants

I wouldn't be up for one night stands/casual incounters as I attribute too much feeling and emotion in sex, it means a lot for me to be with someone in that way.
However, I have friends who can happily indulge in such activities, and that's great if that's what you like/you can take the emotion out of it. Once people are consenting and careful/responsible, there is no harm in it.

Not my bag - but I wouldn't knock people for it.

445279.ie

I had one last Thursday - it was great

Maybe because they like sex? It's just a possibility.

Liam Byrne

Unregistered wrote: »

why are girls such sluts? and men? like i can't understand how people have one night stands?!!! it's demeaning and i feel people who have them have no self respect! does anyone agree?

If it's just "for the sake of it", or "anyone will do", then I'd agree.

But clicking with someone and having a good night and then running with it before maybe deciding "naw....." ? I've no problem with that. 2 consenting adults + fun = my kinda night, in lots of ways....

When would it be acceptable to you, op ? If you met up with someone 2 or 3 times, despite being fairly sure after the one-nighter that it was a non-runner ? Surely that would be more "lousy" ?

Wagon

AngryBadger wrote: »

Bluntly not all of us have such a pathetic and insecure take on sexuality.

I don't see how somebody only wanting to have sex with someone they love is "pathetic and insecure". I wouldn't say someone who wants the emotional connection as well as the physical connection is "pathetic and insecure". It's the equivalent of someone calling you a manhoore or a slut for sleeping around. That wasn't being blunt, it's coming across just as ignorant as you perceive the OP to be. I don't think he/she is either. I think they're just looking for some answers.

Lollipops23

BTW OP girls like you who refer to others as "sluts"-your undoing all the good work the women's lib did over the last 30 years. Who are you to decide that women who have sex on one nighters are "sluts"?Girls like you are women's worst enemy IMHO.It makes it seem ok for lads to call us sluts/whores.

If you don't want to partake in ONS then i don't judge you,i accept fully that it's not your bag and i would never try to change your mind. But frankly i'm offended at your attitude.

LegacyUser

LOLLIPOPS - if you took the time to actually read my post - i DID NOT just single out the women! I also referred to the men aswell.

Terodil

Lollipops23 wrote: »

BTW OP girls like you who refer to others as "sluts"-your undoing all the good work the women's lib did over the last 30 years. Who are you to decide that women who have sex on one nighters are "sluts"?Girls like you are women's worst enemy IMHO.It makes it seem ok for lads to call us sluts/whores.

Actually, sorry to be a party pooper here, but at least in my mind you're the first to turn this thread in that direction. The OP expressly included men in her (?) post.

While I agree with you on principle (I wouldn't make any diff between men or women who sleep around with no concern for their partners' feelings), perpetuating the belief that 'lads' (I miss a 'some' in your post) call girls 'sluts/whores' and their fellows 'cool studs' (etc.) is keeping something alive that should long have died a painful death. Plus that actually insults men like myself who are wrongfully tarred with your aggressive brush.

Wibbs

Not a personal issue. More a debate. Humanities may be your better choice. Please feel free to start a thread that reflects your personal issue. Thanks. Closed.