Lied to?

LegacyUser

a few years ago my then gf broke it off with me. at the tme there was another guy sniffing about and she ended up sesing him. we got back together about 8 weeks later and she told me nothing had happened with him. but i found condoms in her place and eventually she admitted what happened. she swears that they started to have sex but that she stopped it. she tries to tell me it was nothing and was over in a flash. i find this hard to believe, she says for example that she did not handle his penis. why cant she tell the truth. why would he even think that sex was on the cards if she had not even touched him down there. obviously i have no way of finding out what happened but i want to know the truth and what she is saying does not sound like the truth. any advice gratefully received. is it possible that this actually happened or is she lying to me to try aand keep me

Miss Fluff

You were on a break!

Loxosceles

Think about whether or not you are ready and mature enough for a committed relationship which includes sexual intimacy. The fact is, the worry and concern you have about faithfulness should only be present in a married relationship, otherwise, commitment needs to be proven by both parties to one another.

The fact is, she admitted experimenting with another person. She is not ready for intense commitment, flat out. There is nothing wrong with making yourself single long enough to grow up some more, and refocus your emotional energies on school and career, then you will find someone more deserving who has similar standards of commitment.

Commitment in sex and relationships is only a reflection of the commitment you show in other areas of your life. Start pursuing them without concern about having a relationship for now. It sounds like you're too young really to worry about heavy relationships right now.

Silverfish

hurting wrote: »

a few years ago my then gf broke it off with me. at the tme there was another guy sniffing about and she ended up sesing him. we got back together about 8 weeks later and she told me nothing had happened with him. but i found condoms in her place and eventually she admitted what happened. she swears that they started to have sex but that she stopped it. she tries to tell me it was nothing and was over in a flash. i find this hard to believe, she says for example that she did not handle his penis. why cant she tell the truth. why would he even think that sex was on the cards if she had not even touched him down there. obviously i have no way of finding out what happened but i want to know the truth and what she is saying does not sound like the truth. any advice gratefully received. is it possible that this actually happened or is she lying to me to try aand keep me

Wait now, this happened years ago? How many years ago?
And you found the condoms presumably at the time you got back together 8 weeks later, so you've been questioning her on this ever since?

LoGiE

The truth? Why? So you can continue to torture yourself? Yes it's horrible imagining someone you love with someone else but you have said yourself you where not together at the time. Get past this or expect to lose your girlfriend a 2nd time. I'd be pretty sure theres a limit to the number of times she'll talk about this without getting extremely pissed off with you...

MonicaBing

Dude, this cant be doing your r/ship any good if your still carrying this after so long....you need to let it go or she's gonna walk out on you.

It boils down to simply that u guys were on a break and maybe if something did happen it really is no concern of yours. Write it off as a lesson learned.
I figure if something did happen your girl would have acquiesed and admitted to it by now.

But you should ask yourself if you still have doubts why the hell are you still with her? you cant be making each other happy can you?

jmauel

It s none of your business what she was doing when ye were broke up. Why are you even questioning her about this?

Loxosceles

Miss Fluff wrote: »

You were on a break!

Yeah, I didn't see that until after I had replied-not only a break, but this happened several years ago. meh.

Jack B. Badd

hurting wrote: »

i want to know the truth

Why? It's none of your business.

star-pants

Ye were on a break, she experimented with someone else, she wasn't going to go into details and potentially hurt you. You guys got back together, and this is a few years later?

I don't see the problem as such, you should have dealt with this long ago and let go of it. You can't hold it over her head, she did something when ye were apart, end of story.

Liam Byrne

hurting wrote: »

is it possible that this actually happened or is she lying to me to try aand keep me

Maybe and maybe.

I'd normally give the advice that if she's lying to you, then forget about her, but as posted by others this is none of your business.

Maybe she should tell the truth, but then you shouldn't have asked.

Did you have sex with someone else while ye were on this break ? Would it be any of her business if you did ?

Since you're fixated on it and she's unable to stand up for herself and say "yup, I did. I was single so what about it", I'd say there's a problem and to give up on the relationship.

But if ye've managed to keep going a few years then just let it go. A break is a break......

estar

its none of your business what happened. the past is the past. its unfair to keep dragging this up. if you are that insecure that you cant accept your girlfriend had another partner then dont go out with her. you shouldnt even be asking as you werent going out and it was your choice to get back wth her.