would ye go out with a fatguy?

Vampireskiss

Or is it just too unattractive?

Piste

Too unattractive. He'd want to have a hell of a personality, but then he'd probably be firmly in the Friend Zone.

Jules

Unfortunately a lot of people go through life basing there opinions on how people look, i find this to be extremely shallow and well people who base there opinions on how people look shoudl really consider if they, themselves are worth knowing. My OH is not a skinny man, but i found him attractive. As far as i am concerned they might be the most socially acceptable type of "beautiful person" but can be as ugly as sin on the inside!

Handsome Bob

*LZ prepares for the ego bashing of a lifetime*:(:pac:

Piste

I think general attraction requires a good deal of physical attraction AND personality attraction. Fat guys just don't do the physical attraction for me so I don't think it's shallow that I'm not attracted to them, just the way things are.

Silverfish

Sure. Someone's weight wouldn't even be an issue.

Nevyn

Define fat ?

Someone who could loose 2 stone or someone who is extremly over weigth
so much so can they can't climb stairs with out getting out of breath ?

Handsome Bob

Silverfish wrote: »

Sure. Someone's weight wouldn't even be an issue.

Really? Maybe this thread won't be as soul destroying as I thought it'd be.:D

Crumble Froo

*facepalm*

would depend on the personality. my fella's not exactly a rake.. but i think he's absolutely gorgeous.

Faith

Honestly, it would depend on how fat they were. While I'm generally attracted to lean guys, I'm quite partial to cuddly guys too. A friend of my brothers who I've had a long-standing crush on could be described as 'fat' and I'm still attracted to him. But if they were really fat then that would probably put me off, at least until I got to know them.

Piste

Yeah "fat" really needs to be defined, when I read the OP the image that came into my head was of a noticably overweight guy which would definitely not be attractive, however I might be ok with someone just a little overweight.

Silverfish

Thaedydal wrote: »

Define fat ?

Someone who could loose 2 stone or someone who is extremly over weigth
so much so can they can't climb stairs with out getting out of breath ?

Think my ex last weighed in at 24 stone, at 6 foot 1 or so he was classified as clinically obese. He was also a big hit with lots of ladies too

Nevyn

Well if they have to haul aside their big white bellies to see thier pubes then it's an issue.
Who wants to give head when you are going to have thier belly bumping you in the head ?
or if you have to not do certain postions cos their gut gets in the way.

joes girls

i like a cute face,good personality,someone that will make me laugh, makes me feel good about myself so size would be the last thing on my list

Wibbs

Now this is only my take and my experience, but women are not as obvious with what they find attractive and also vary more in that than men. They're equally as "shallow" in the sense that they do go for certain traits, but the physical bit is not as important in general. They go more for the full package. Men who have the choice tend to go for the physical appearance more. Women who have more of a choice may go more for the physical appearance, but not nearly as much IME. I've seen guys who were significantly less visually attractive than their partners. Its common enough too. The reverse is much less common in general. I must say men do have it easier in this. They can earn and learn attractive qulaities easier than women can. So when I hear guys whine about how they're perceived I do roll my eyes a bit.

shezzie

personally for me if the person was morbidly obese the attraction wouldnt be there,,but if someone was a little overweight there would be no problem at all once they had a good personality and treated me right...my other half is not skinny, not overweight he is just right...my ex was cuddly we'll say so its all bout being attracted to a person knowing the personality comes after that initial attraction..

so my answer basically is that morbidly obese no attraction at all ,,, a little cuddly yeah of course.....

Silverfish

Wibbs wrote: »

I must say men do have it easier in this. They can earn and learn attractive qulaities easier than women can. So when I hear guys whine about how they're perceived I do roll my eyes a bit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPbUPRxAo-I

mrs moneypenny

My Man is a tad on the overweight side - it don't make him a bad person and I love the bones of him:):)

joes girls

shezzie wrote: »

personally for me if the person was morbidly obese the attraction wouldnt be there,,but if someone was a little overweight there would be no problem at all once they had a good personality and treated me right...my other half is not skinny, not overweight he is just right...my ex was cuddly we'll say so its all bout being attracted to a person knowing the personality comes after that initial attraction..

so my answer basically is that morbidly obese no attraction at all ,,, a little cuddly yeah of course.....

ok morbidly would be a no no :(wouldnt even look so now im shallow:(

Handsome Bob

joes girls wrote: »

ok morbidly would be a no no wouldnt even look so now im shallow

That's not shallow, as with everything in life there is a threshold that just cannot be passed.

joes girls

LZ5by5 wrote: »

That's not shallow, as with everything in life there is a threshold that just cannot be passed.

thanks feels ok about myself again now :):D

shezzie

hey joes girls,,no am definately not shallow at all far from it..everyone has their interests and what they find attractive in each other..to go by what you say everyone has to be shallow because everyone has something they dont like in attraction like a skinny woman, big boobs, muscular man etc etc to say because you do or dont like some element being shallow is incorrect..you cant help what the head, heart, and body draws you to....

Land Of Idiots

TBH a guys weight doesn't bother me either way, unless as a few people have mentioned he is morbidly obese. (I think I'd spend a lot of time worrying about him having a heart attack!) I would place a higher importance on other things. Cliched as it may sound, personality is definitely top of my list!

Wibbs

Thaedydal wrote: »

Well if they have to haul aside their big white bellies to see thier pubes then it's an issue.
Who wants to give head when you are going to have thier belly bumping you in the head ?

Maybe its the Lemsips talking(or the hot whiskey), but I lolled and actually out loud too:D

moretothegirl

number one no no is for a guy to be short , and after that its ginger :rolleyes:

i can handle overweight

Time Magazine

FWIW I think the consensus on this thread is biased away from people afraid to tell the truth. I moved out about two years ago and unintentionally lost some weight (maybe a stone) as my diet changed. Maybe it's a coincidence, but I get much more female attention having become slimmer.

Nevyn

moretothegirl wrote: »

number one no no is for a guy to be short , and after that its ginger :rolleyes:

i can handle overweight

There has to be a limit, really you never want to be stuck under someone who
is puffing and panting and you are worried they will have a massive heart attack
and then the tough occurs to you that what if they did and they collapsed and you were 'stuck'....

/shudder

Still most blokes that like their food and are orally stimulated tend to like
being on the giving end of oral sex alot.

moretothegirl

Thaedydal wrote: »

There has to be a limit, really you never want to be stuck under someone who
is puffing and panting and you are worried they will have a massive heart attack
and then the tough occurs to you that what if they did and they collapsed and you were 'stuck'....

/shudder

Still most blokes that like their food and are orally stimulated tend to like
being on the giving end of oral sex alot.

ok ok i will give you that, i can agree that i wouldnt want to be with somebody morbidly obese! but i think i can handle guys who are just "fat".... better than short anyways

Handsome Bob

moretothegirl wrote: »

number one no no is for a guy to be short , and after that its ginger :rolleyes:

i can handle overweight

Ah nuts.:(

littlebug

I was always partial to the more cuddly guys. Then I fell for a stick man but fed him, made him cuddly and married him

There was a brief interlude with a very big man once. It never went beyond a kiss but there was just "something" about him that had me hooked for a while and his size was unimportant.

Stheno

Silverfish wrote: »

Think my ex last weighed in at 24 stone, at 6 foot 1 or so he was classified as clinically obese. He was also a big hit with lots of ladies too

All but one of my serious partners as an adult were tall (min. six feet) and not one of those three weighed less than 19 stone, none of them "looked" obese, they were big guys with big builds. They looked overweight, and according to BMI etc were clinically obese.

Thaedydal wrote: »

There has to be a limit, really you never want to be stuck under someone who
is puffing and panting and you are worried they will have a massive heart attack
and then the tough occurs to you that what if they did and they collapsed and you were 'stuck'....

/shudder

Hee hee I lolled, but OMG just imagine, actually combine your two posts and imagine a heart attack whilst your head bumps against the belly during oral /shudder

I suppose at least in the head bumping scenario you could ring 999

Nevyn

I have a scarily good imagination and an acute sense of spatial relations.

rainbow kirby

nouggatti wrote: »

Hee hee I lolled, but OMG just imagine, actually combine your two posts and imagine a heart attack whilst your head bumps against the belly during oral /shudder

I suppose at least in the head bumping scenario you could ring 999

"I don't see nothing wrong.... with a little bump'n'grind"

:pac:

bman

moretothegirl wrote: »

number one no no is for a guy to be short , and after that its ginger :rolleyes:

i can handle overweight

Damn it!

I'm really looking forward when it's gonna be ultra cool to be ginger (I predict 2-3 years time*).

* ~ I'm an optimist at heart

Stheno

bman wrote: »

Damn it!

I'm really looking forward when it's gonna be ultra cool to be ginger (I predict 2-3 years time*).

* ~ I'm an optimist at heart

As an almost ginge most of the time, and a redhead in the summer, I can tell you it's never

I console myself that at least I'm not a flaming redhead

bman

nouggatti wrote: »

As an almost ginge most of the time, and a redhead in the summer, I can tell you it's never

Sort of similar to me so. Mine is a brownish-red colour, although I go a bit blonde when I get some decent sunlight (not much of that in Ireland!). Now that I think about it, I have very weird hair.

I still think we'll be ultra cool soon enough. We just have to convince the rest of the world. Shouldn't be too hard to outsmart them (everyone knows gingers are 10-15% more intelligent than the average person).

Allison91

Yes I would and have done everyone loves a chubby dude or whatever.

minidazzler

Allison91 wrote: »

Yes I would and have done everyone loves a chubby dude or whatever.

There is a major difference between Fat and chubby.


I personally believe that almost all lads who are literally FAT, are that way due to lazyness and/or stupid Parents. For lads it is generally not hard to lose weight if they just eat and exercise right, but they get into a habit of not doing so, and are comfortable with it. I am 6'3" and 185 lbs, I was 200 lbs a few weeks ago, but I started running, (Not because I was fat, because I am trying to achieve a particular goal, those of you in the Military forum will know it.), I lost more than a stone in less than 6 weeks when I was not overweight to begin with. I still eat what I want, but I use enough energy to counter balance what I eat. How can I, who was a relatively good weight, do that in a matter of weeks. When a Guy I know, 5'11" and 290 lbs,(mostly fat), "can't" as he calls it, lose half a stone in month's?


So what I am trying to say is, there is no reason for a guy to be Fat, we are not built to be, those who claim it's hereditary, are liars. Look at their Photo albums, are their Grandparents Fat??? It is utter laziness and bad parenting. The "Celtic Tiger" ruined this country, it made people greedy, and alot of people fat.


I am sorry if I offend anyone, but it is how I feel. I am mainly talking about lads in the 18-35 year Bracket. I am only talking about MALES. and I do know alot of Fat guys in this category. Some of whom are my Cousins who say it's hereditary, when they are the only fat lads in the family.(This is why I say bad parenting, there mother knows nothing about moderation.


The question in the title is kind of void, because there should be no need to make that choice. Lads should work out and be healthy. I know relationship's should be about personality, but what good is personality when a guy could have a heart attack at 45?




Again, I am talking about males. My views on females are totally different and likely wrong as I am not a female! Therefore I don't know that anatomy as well as I know the male anatomy.

Crumble Froo

you forget about those on pills that encourage and force weight gain and retention.

also, the fact that cheaper foods are generally fuller of fat than a *lot* of healthier options.

Macha

Wibbs wrote: »

Now this is only my take and my experience, but women are not as obvious with what they find attractive and also vary more in that than men. They're equally as "shallow" in the sense that they do go for certain traits, but the physical bit is not as important in general. They go more for the full package. Men who have the choice tend to go for the physical appearance more. Women who have more of a choice may go more for the physical appearance, but not nearly as much IME. I've seen guys who were significantly less visually attractive than their partners. Its common enough too. The reverse is much less common in general. I must say men do have it easier in this. They can earn and learn attractive qulaities easier than women can. So when I hear guys whine about how they're perceived I do roll my eyes a bit.

Research has shown that when asked what their most important traits are, women put power or something else and men put physical attractiveness. But when tested subconsciously, both genders put physical attractiveness first. I'm afraid women are not that different from men in this area - it's just more socially accepted that men are more "shallow".

Personally, I could not go out with an overweight person for the same reason I couldn't go out with a smoker or someone who doesn't recycle. Fitness, exercise and healthy eating are a large part of my life and I couldn't be with someone who doesn't share those values or potentially passes bad habits onto my (hypothetical) kids. It's about shared values.

I don't really think so, my taste just runs to fairly skinny guys.
It's more along a personal preference than thinking "oh god he's fat no thanks".

Would depend on the guy as well I guess

Wibbs

taconnol wrote: »

Research has shown that when asked what their most important traits are, women put power or something else and men put physical attractiveness. But when tested subconsciously, both genders put physical attractiveness first. I'm afraid women are not that different from men in this area - it's just more socially accepted that men are more "shallow"

I'd still disagree. Yes men and women both respond to the physical. It stands to reason that they would as physical attraction is an outward sign of internal reproductive fitness. I've read similar to the studies you mention and yes what women say they want and what they respond to subconsciously differs, but again women are a more complex bunch when it comes to arousal and it depends on how one views the results in the real world.

There have been a number of studies where women's arousal response was checked against erotic material and it threw up some interesting results. Again it depends how you interpret those results. Straight women tended to respond sexually and unconsciously to images of rape, lesbianism and even violence more than men. They were completely unaware of it. Does this mean these women were attracted to rape, lesbianism and violence? Hardly. At most you can say is that women subconsciously responded strongly to emotionally strong images and part of that response was sexual.

Womens sexual response alone is more complex than mens. It has more stages, is easier to disrupt and varies far more. Hence an equivalent of viagra for women will be a long time in coming, although viagra acts on the female erectile tissue in exactly the same way. You could say that in men the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, while in women the flesh may be willing but the spirit is weak.

IMHO and on the reproductive front, men and women while sharing obvious characteristics, are quite different in subtle ways. Of course they are. They're very different physically. The reproductive pressures are different. On the very basic level women have to carry the result of a successful(as far as nature goes) sexual encounter for 9 months. They have to care for it afterward for a few years. Yes society and culture will help her out(and hopefully the father), but a woman's biology is built to do so. So they have to take more care in choosing. When choosing a mate men, by comparison have less personal pressure involved. They look for different things.

An obvious one is age. What pretty much every culture looks at as attractive in women is a reflection of her youth and reproductive health. Simply because women have a more finite time to reproduce. Human females are unusual in that they continue to live long after they stop being fertile. Quite different to our close ape relatives. One theory is all to do with resources in the extended family unit etc. It's a long winded one too:) That is much less the case with men. so straight off the bat there is a gender difference there. Yes as culture changes the colour and pressure of those diffrences can wax and wane, but they're still there under the surface.

So while I do agree with you that women also go for physical attractiveness in men, they have much more going on behind that. A walk down any street in the world will reflect that too. On looks alone it is much rarer to see a woman regarded as physically unattractive with a man regarded as attractive, than the other way around. Now as society changes over time that will change as women have more and more resources, but it will be long in coming and there's a lot of underlying ancient programming to re write.

Thats in general of course and individuals differ.

TBH speaking personally and unscientifically:D, if I was on the pull? I would not see a good looking man, or a man better looking than me as a "threat" as such. Not unless he was bringing a lot more to the party. I honestly wouldn't. I would see a confident secure humourous man who was engaging the group much more of a problem. If I was a woman though I reckon I would have a different take with a better looking woman beside me.

PeakOutput

Crumble Froo wrote: »

you forget about those on pills that encourage and force weight gain and retention.

what percentage of the population do you think that covers? i imagine its a small enough figure to be unimportant

also, the fact that cheaper foods are generally fuller of fat than a *lot* of healthier options.

im a student with no money and i can still eat fairly healthily but no doubt it would be easier to just eat crap

bman

Crumble Froo wrote: »

also, the fact that cheaper foods are generally fuller of fat than a *lot* of healthier options.

I would disagree with this. If your willing to prepare and cook your own food, you can eat healthily for much less than buying unhealthy prepackaged and processed foods.

This comes down to, as someone mentioned earlier, laziness.

pow wow

Shocker...a simple question about preference descends into another fat-bashing thread.

Back on topic, chubby men ftw. Current object of affections is so skinny he'd blow over when you shut the bedroom door but he's lovely so I can overlook it

Black Swan

People are diverse and complex, coming in all kinds of shapes and sizes, with individually unique personalities, and that's what makes them interesting. I have some friends that are overweight and unfit, while I work out daily and have a healthy diet. Fair enough, that's their choice regarding their bodies, and it won't affect our friendship. I know it's not PC, but to be honest, I am just not physically attracted to unfit "fatguys."

Dudess

My initial answer would be "no, I don't find overweight men attractive", however, that doesn't mean it's not possible for me to meet an overweight man, see past his physical appearance and become attracted to him because of his personality. That's not idealistic, "PC" bullsh1t - that's a reality. And I have experienced it, having met three guys on different occasions (one of whom was overweight) whom I did not find physically attractive but whom I started to fancy like crazy because of their fantastic personalities.
Actually Jack Black is quite overweight - I know, he's not massive but overweight nevertheless and a guy of that build wouldn't do it for me based on physical appearance alone. However, Jack Black is so damn ****ing funny that I fancy the pants off him!

bman wrote: »

Damn it!

I'm really looking forward when it's gonna be ultra cool to be ginger (I predict 2-3 years time*).

* ~ I'm an optimist at heart

Plenty of ginger men are hot - and there's a saying I've heard more than once: "once you go red, you never get out of bed"...
This business of "I'd never go near a ginger guy" - if a person is interested in more than looks, how on earth can they know?

nouggatti wrote: »

As an almost ginge most of the time, and a redhead in the summer, I can tell you it's never

I console myself that at least I'm not a flaming redhead

Red-headed women - well if I was into women, they'd be my type. I think the red-haired, pale skin look, with red lipstick, is stunning.

Allison91 wrote: »

Yes I would and have done everyone loves a chubby dude or whatever.

I don't think that's necessarily true.

MissIT

If i was asked what my ideal guy would look like fat wouldn't be on the list, doesn't mean i could never fall for a dude on the larger side tho!
Also.. red hair is hot!!

Handsome Bob

Okay, I've only posted lightheartedly in this thread so far but it's time to get serious. Firstly as a bit of background to the following post I have lost four stone, only a stone or so away from my goal so I have an actual insight into the subject.

Now.

In the case of the hereditary "excuse" it can very much so play a factor. My Dad was 47 when I was conceived and I share a number of all his "traits" at that age. Same height. Same physical features (face). Same hair (or lack thereof:pac:). And finally, same build.

I lost (most) of the weight that I've had for most of my life but what my Dad "passed" onto me was very much a handicap. So generalisations some posters have made "about all fat people just being lazy and liars" are false and quite flankly, insufferable and downright insulting. I am not a liar.

Also, on a sidenote, I have empathy for children who are fat. In my own experience it's not until you grow up and experience exclusion that these kids will realise how much of a ****ed up situation they are in. I was nearly 20 when I woke up in regards to my situation, at 16 stone and at a relatively small height. You've no idea how much it takes to build up the mental strength to get out to they gym or to start working out in general because of the shame you feel about being seen in public. These people need positive encouragement, not ridicule.

Madame Razz

I actually think that there are some very attractive ginger men out there and really don't get why so many women point blank won't go there.

On the subject of overweight men.... cuddily is ok, and a little belly doesn't bother me in the slightest. But a big belly for me is up there with a hairy back/shoulders in terms of repulsion:eek:

I couldn't ever see myself with anybody very very overweight, regardless of their personality or otherwise, I could just see certain(important) aspects of the relationship being extremely challenging and I know that this would get me down. And I do find actual obese(as in really really obese) men quite disgusting, that sounds terrible, but it's the truth.

But I think if you can find a happy medium of good appearance, good intelligence, good personality, good nature and a good heart, well then any woman is doing very well indeed.......;)

No-ones perfect afterall....

banshee_bones

My first boyfriend wasnt exactly skinny, he wasnt "fat" either,he was tall so he could carry the little bit of weight he did have, i dont know, well built is the term id use.

IME i have to say personality counts for so much, it really does. recently iv find myself more attracted to the skinny guys, but in the past i would have gone for the "rugby player" build (if that makes any sense). Although dont get me wrong my taste tends to vary quite a bit!

As far as physical attraction goes... i would not be attracted to someone who was overweight, a little i guess is fine and by a little i mean were talking anything up to a couple of stone, lets say anything that could be worked on in the gym in the near future. yeah its a bit shallow but sorry thats my 2c