AGGGGGGGGGH

LegacyUser

I've been more or less single with about 2 1/2 years.
I haven't had sex for over a year, and that was a one-off with someone i met on a dating site. It was fun, but not something I want to do on a regular basis.
I really enjoy sex, but I don't want it to be with randomers, I'd like it to mean a bit more than that. But I'm having no luck finding someone a bit more special, and I seem to have developed some sort of issue around it - having sex with someone new has now become like something I don't want to give in to, in case that's all they want...
I'm starting to get really frustrated about this and the complete lack of action! What can I do?

MagicMarker

Buy a vibrator?

cantdecide

The online thing has obviously worked for you in the past so have you considered just taking things slower instead of jusmping straight into the sack with people??

LegacyUser

MagicMarker wrote: »

Buy a vibrator?

Maybe, i've never had one and it might be worth a try. But I miss the contact and the skin and the real thing to be honest...

LegacyUser

cantdecide wrote: »

The online thing has obviously worked for you in the past so have you considered just taking things slower instead of jusmping straight into the sack with people??

That's the thing... I've met others from dating sites since then, one or two just for coffee or a drink, and another I saw for a little longer and it fizzled out, and then met a guy I really liked and couldn't let myself go with it, even though I wanted to. I put it off so long I think he thought I was a complete nutcase. In the end it never happened. I still think about him but he's moved on :-/
Probably just need to get back out there.

Nevyn

Get a vibrator and use it to take the edge off that why you will be less likely to
over think things and not strike while the iron is hot.

It can be hard when you have gotten used to good sex wtih a partner and then end up
single and not getting any and we do safe guard ourselves esp when we have been
hurt in a break up and it can take a while to let those guards down.

You will never find someone to have sex like that with again, you may well find someone
with whom the sex is better. But you have to be ready and willing to try and if people
who should be turning you on and would be your type aren't then you have to figure
out why you are supressing your sex drive.

LegacyUser

Thanks, that makes sense.

Mmmm_Lemony

From my experience with the facebook side of, what you called 'dating randomers', I found that fairly early on I was able to explain exactly what I was looking for and understand exactly what th other person was after too.

My advice is next time you go on a date with a randomer, or someone you know for that matter be a little open and explain what you want, explain that you want to take it very slowly, and if he's not intrested then you know right away he's not for you and move on.

I'm 28 and most of the singles I meet are in the same kind of head space, had a long term relationship at some stage, feeling age is catching up or that time is running out and want companionship, you be surprised at what men want, its not all notches on the bedpost...

As for the vibrator, I've never used one thank god, but if it relieves a bit of the stress of it all then go for it...

Mr. Presentable

Mmmm_Lemony wrote: »

From my experience with the facebook side of, what you called 'dating randomers', I found that fairly early on I was able to explain exactly what I was looking for and understand exactly what th other person was after too.

My advice is next time you go on a date with a randomer, or someone you know for that matter be a little open and explain what you want, explain that you want to take it very slowly, and if he's not intrested then you know right away he's not for you and move on.

I'm 28 and most of the singles I meet are in the same kind of head space, had a long term relationship at some stage, feeling age is catching up or that time is running out and want companionship, you be surprised at what men want, its not all notches on the bedpost...

As for the vibrator, I've never used one thank god, but if it relieves a bit of the stress of it all then go for it...

Hmmm. The OP doesn't mention what sex they are, or what age they are. OK, so they don't diss the vibrator advice, but neither do they say whether they are gay or straight.

To finish, Mmmm_Lemony is one of my favourite usernames on boards.

Mmmm_Lemony

I assumed it was a lady, but I think the advice about being open and honest works both ways, gay or straight...

(Thanks for the compliment, was thinking of changing it recentl as everyone thinks im a girl )

LegacyUser

I'm a girl, straight, not far past 30.
Sounds like first stop vibrator shop, and try to figure the rest out as I go.