Did I do the right thing?

LegacyUser

Bit of background first:

I am an IT consultant who (is/was)working for a multi-national company in Ireland. Without making things too obvious to anyone who knows me, I am responsible for certain key elements that pertain the whole IT structure. One of the "key elements" has not worked for some time. High level management has put pressure on lower level management to put pressure on me to resolve the issue. This situation has all come to a head, and my manager ranted at me for a about an hour, and told me my job could be done by a monkey, that I was not good enough and that because of a mistake I made during the week(which I accept I made) my approval rating for my quarterly review would go down by 2 out of a possible 6. I have been working under an unbelievable amount of stress over the last few weeks. It is now starting to affect my health. The only way I can sleep is by having a couple of large whiskeys before I sleep other wise, I lie awake at 5 am, worrying about the next day. I wake up early and dread getting up, and need at best a cup of tea, and at worst(from a health issue at least) need a can or two of coke/red bull and a cigarette to feel able to face the day.

I have received zero in the way of support from my managers, be it professionally, or socially and today it all came together. During a rant from my manager at my performance, he told me I was nothing special, and that all a person needed to do my job was know how to use vi(a text editor for unix/linux).

I have been under a hell of a lot of pressure and stress and all of this was too much. I was asked to outline what I hade done in the last 6 months to resolve the issue, and I ended up breaking down in tears on my front porch thinking about it.

Later, while my girlfriend slept on the couch I went upstairs and cried my eyes out. I considered suicide but there was nothing to hand that would do it. I went downstairs to find a knife, but my gf still slept, and I felt I could not do anything with out consulting or at least saying goodbye to her. I asked her did she mind if I resigned from my role and worse case scenrio, were I not able to find a job would she mind me living on the dole, trying to support myself while she covered the rent and bills. I asked her would she mind if we ended up living in a bedsit for 300 a month, and she said no. We have no debts and no mortgage so financially we are in an ok position.

I was asked to write up what I did to fix the "problem", I CC'ed it to all relevant people, including upper management, and resigned from my position. I have asked for a few days to get my head sorted and then I will return with a view to briefing them on who best should replace me, and as to the best way for me to exit the company.

I am delighted that I have done it, as I feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and even if I can not get another job I would prefer to be on 200 euro a week than suffer the stress that I was suffering.

I just wonder did I handle it correctly?

liah

I'd say you did. There was no point staying in a position where your mental health was suffering and you were unhappy to the point of considering suicide-- no one should have to live like that. It's not right.

You were responsible about the situation, didn't do anything stupid at work, to yourself, or in regards to your girlfriend as you made sure everything was cleared with her first.

You're just fine.

LegacyUser

liah wrote: »

I'd say you did. There was no point staying in a position where your mental health was suffering and you were unhappy to the point of considering suicide-- no one should have to live like that. It's not right.

You were responsible about the situation, didn't do anything stupid at work, to yourself, or in regards to your girlfriend as you made sure everything was cleared with her first.

You're just fine.

Thanks

Adelante

Hi,
Your wondering if you handled it correctly, right? How are you feeling about it right now, me personally its about feedback,-"when you were in the ****" so to speak, your body was giving you feedback ...not able to sleep etc. Your partner gave you feedback...with her support and love.Your manager gave you feedback albeit very negative feedback, what learning if any was there in it for you, one way maybe,could be to see it from your position what info do you get,then put yourself in their shoes see it from their pov again what info do you get,AND then, and then, and then see it from a neutral third party's pov, like a fly on the wall, you now have three different perspective's on an issue where b4 you only had the one.

If you can make a decision and take responsibility for the outcomes that relate to the decicion, then you handled it exactly as you were meant to,

I believe there is no right or wrong way,there is merely choice and with choice comes outcomes.You are only human.

what is percieved as mistakes by one are opportunities to others,


"If someone is being absolutely critical of me as a driver, what could they say? I am also critical of myself to try and keep things in perspective. That is very important."-Damon Hill

Mezcita

DidIDoItRite wrote: »

I just wonder did I handle it correctly?

100% you did. No job is worth that the type of grief which affects you to such an extent that you think about topping yourself.

Personally I would be wary about how much help I would give them in choosing someone to replace you as they sound like a.rseholes. But that's just me.

MagicMarker

Once you get your head sorted I'd be taking a trip to a solicitor tbh. That's constructive dismissal if you ask me and due to the extent of the situation, I'd be going down the legal route.

Das Kitty

To be honest I wouldn't have let them get away with it that easily.

I would have gone to the doctor and gone on certified sick leave. And tried to get the issue sorted that way.

A good friend of mine was in a similar situation but luckily it was only her immediate boss who was the problem. She suffered a mental burnout and her doctor ordered her to go on sick leave. With help from her doctors she was able to approach the company and get the issue resolved. They did a lot of investigation and found out that my friend was not the only one suffering and eventually her boss was moved to a lower position with no people management responsibilities.

I just think it's unfair that you should forfeit your wage because of people being utter utter *****.

If I were you currently I would still make it my business to see a doctor, the return to good mental health is not a straight road and you will most likely experience a few dips along the way.

Also I would seek legal advice on constructive dismissal.

Did you keep a record of instances / emails? It's always a good idea and has got me out of a few holes in the past.

cantdecide

Multi-nationals are funny places to work at times. Just because you are responsible, doesn't mean you can be given unachievable targets.

While the iron is still hot, I'd go to my GP and send them a letter withdrawing your resignation and letting them know that there will be further proceedings.

Man. You were SUICIDAL over your job. Do you know how f*****g serious that is??? No matter how useless you are, they can only let you go. They cannot bully or control you.

Let them think about what they've done to you while you go on paid suspension...

I'm not usually a rabble rouser but seriously, they can't have this effect on you for ANY reason, justified or otherwise...

Oh The Humanity

Do you know what you really did !

They were scapegoating you trying to make you do the impossible and becoming frustrated when you were not a magician.

This will be a 9 day wonder for them, they will all pat themselves on the back and tell themselves it was you who was bad and demonise you.

After a while though as they try to replicate the tasks you were covering they will not be able to figure out how you did what you did every day. Its easy to take a perfectly working machine for granted.

Not so easy to fill that gap once the 'machine' is gone.

Fcuk them anyway, you never would have been able to rake through their muck. You are WELL out of it man.

Best of luck.

AngryBadger

I think you made the right move OP< nothing is worth your sanity. Best of luck.

Blazer

I have decked my manager and quit if he had said that to me.
I work in an IT role as well and no way would I take that crap from anyone.
My advice? Take legal action for constructive dismissal.

tbh

good move OP - the rest of your life starts today.

Puddleduck

I would take the advice of the other posters and seek legal action also. Go to your GP and get the certificate.

No matter how bad you are at your job, your manager may give you a chewing out but calling you useless and telling you how replacable you are to me, seems abusive. I would also contact the HR depatment of the company and let them know you are going to persue this issue. You shouldnt feel the way you did about your job. You also shouldnt feel like you were chased out of the place either.

mackeminexile

OP I absolutely think it was the right thing to do. There has been a lot of really good advice in the replies also. I have worked in companies with a similar modus operandum before and spoke out about it. I was told that business was business and to look after my own department and not get involved. Seriously, going to see the doctor and getting sick leave due to the nature of your mental health at the time you handed in your resignation is a good plan. It sounds like you probably have a case for bullying which is really vociferously focused on by the Equality Authority. Check out the link below

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/employment/equality-in-work/bullying_in_the_workplace

dazberry

OP, I've been there and from experience I can tell you you did the right thing. I was sick for a year due to anxiety because I was constantly stressed over an extended period. By the end I was having panic attacks at my desk, and had to quit. You did the right thing.

D.

LegacyUser

OP here. I have an appointment with the doctor in a couple of hours. I have written down what to say to her. I dont know how to face my company. I told them I would report back to work next week but doubt I can face it. I wish I could hire a proxy that would deal with them for me. they didnt reply to my email. I dont know is that a good thing or a bad thing.

thanks for the comments so far. keep them coming. they are helping a little bit.

If my gf is reading this I love you and thank you for your support.

Das Kitty

Unregistered wrote: »

OP here. I have an appointment with the doctor in a couple of hours. I have written down what to say to her. I dont know how to face my company. I told them I would report back to work next week but doubt I can face it. I wish I could hire a proxy that would deal with them for me. they didnt reply to my email. I dont know is that a good thing or a bad thing.

thanks for the comments so far. keep them coming. they are helping a little bit.

If my gf is reading this I love you and thank you for your support.

Fair play.

You don't have to face them until you're able to, the doctor will help you get there.

LegacyUser

Das Kitty wrote: »

Fair play.

You don't have to face them until you're able to, the doctor will help you get there.

What if she doesnt? What if she tells me to pull myself together and thats it? my fifteen minutes are up?

What do I do then?

LegacyUser

OP here, I posted a reply, but it has not come through. I am going to the doctor shortly, but what do I do if the doctor tells me to pull my self together, that there are people worse off than myself, and to grow up. What do I do then? How do I approach my company? What do I tell them and to who?

Is there any one I can contact who can record what has happened to me? I think I suffered a nervous breakdown last night, which lead to my suicidal feelings. What if I go back to my company and they tell me I am looking for an easy way out of a difficult situation by pretending to have an episode? What do I do then?

cantdecide

She almost certainly won't.

It's only your perspective that matters here. You could tell her that you think you're a giraffe, she must take you seriously unless she's irresponsible. You can always go to someone else who will realise how your mental health has been seriously affected by your experiences.

_blank_

Unregistered wrote: »

What if I go back to my company and they tell me I am looking for an easy way out of a difficult situation by pretending to have an episode? What do I do then?

If you have certs from the doctor and things, the company can't say this to you.

GeorgeCostanza

Good for you mate. No job is worth that amount of abuse and stress. Your boss sounds like an a-hole, by the way.

GunScope

Unregistered wrote: »

..... what do I do if the doctor tells me to pull my self together, that there are people worse off than myself, and to grow up. What do I do then? How do I approach my company? What do I tell them and to who?

Your doctor will not respond as such, your mental health is a serious issue, if you tell your doctor what you have written here, there will be no doubt that this matter is not to be taken lightly.

Remember its just a job .... its just work .... this manager that verbally abused you will rue the day he opened his mouth .... you have what sounds like a very understanding and loving girlfriend .... life is good ....

Please contact a solicitor regarding contructive dismissal, also place a call to the HR department just to confirm they have receipt of your email withdrawing the resignation, if they refuse let them know that you will be following up with a solicitor regarding constructive dismissal.

its just work, there are more important things ..... be safe.

Oh The Humanity

they didnt reply to my email.

A good thing, could mean they are on the back foot and realise they could now be done for bullying and are afraid to commit anything to writing at present, until they know what you are doing.

Stay calm, dont drink any more 'energy drinks' btw as they will increase anxiety. I think rather than a nervous breakdown it might have been a panic attack, mention this to the doc if you have not gone yet.

Stay calm !

SOD's Lovechild

The company mistreated you. I'd get a copy of their grievance procedure and I'd go the legal route. Your doctor will be very sympathethic to you when you tell them that you felt suicidal.

I'd strongly advise you not to resign at this stage, especially since your doctor will almost certainly give you a medical certificate. Apart from anything else, you're not eligible to the full allowances of the dole if you resigned from a job.

andrewh5

MagicMarker wrote: »

Once you get your head sorted I'd be taking a trip to a solicitor tbh. That's constructive dismissal if you ask me and due to the extent of the situation, I'd be going down the legal route.

Absolutely!

Wagon

No job, regardless of how well paid and important it is, is worth sacraficing your health and general happiness over. You handled it very well, and fair play! Don't be afraid about meeting with your employers in a week. Tell them everything and the reasons you quit and if they still start getting on your nerves, give them a two fingered farewell and leave it all behind.

brendanuk

off sick is best plan till you sort yourself out. Better than dole and the company is paying

have received zero in the way of support from my managers, be it professionally, or socially and today it all came together. During a rant from my manager at my performance, he told me I was nothing special, and that all a person needed to do my job was know how to use vi(a text editor for unix/linux).

sadly this is typical. The quality of IT managers is poor in general. Large company IT managers get where they are not from knowing how to do the job but how to work the company politics, to put it politely.

I always think in similar situations, if a monkey could do it they would get the monkey and get rid of me. So whenever "how difficult" my job is i usually say "you do it then" or "put advert out for replacement i will stay and train and do hand over, if you want". They usually poo themselves at this point and are abit more civil for a couple of weeks

Unregistered

Unregistered wrote: »

Is there any one I can contact who can record what has happened to me? I think I suffered a nervous breakdown last night, which lead to my suicidal feelings. What if I go back to my company and they tell me I am looking for an easy way out of a difficult situation by pretending to have an episode? What do I do then?

Then they would have really hanged themselves, when you start legal proceedings. Which you must.I realise it's insanely stressful, but once you tell all this to your doctor - which you really, really should - and contact a solicitor you'll see how much you are backed up in this position and how wrong the company was/is and how that abusiveness will hit them back.

Good luck !

LegacyUser

OP here. Thanks everyone for your support and avice. I don't think I will be taking a legal route on this It was bad enough talking to the doctor about it, who was a woman, and an attractive one at that, talking to a judge with thirty other people watching and not knowing whether to let the tears come or holding them back, I dont know but I cant see it happening.

I went to the doctor and she has given me 2 weeks off, to be reviewed in 2 weeks time, and has put me on anti-depressants and sleeping pills, and has refferred to a counselor. We are to meet again in week to see how I am getting on on the new drugs. According to her I will feel worse before I feel better but I will feel beter.

I mentioned before that it was a woman doctor, I dont know why that irked me at the time. It was a difficult situation, but I cant decide which is worse, crying in front of another guy, or crying in front of an attractive woman. It sounds daft I know, but its just one of those things.

In my email resigning, I originally said I would be taking today, monday and tuesday off, and got an email recently from my boss asking that we have a face to face conversation about my, in his words, "email on thursday". My doctor has told me to avoid the place for at least two weeks. She gave me a letter for my HR department. Which I will hand in one monday. Although I was thinking of sending a friend in to deposit it, I cant face seeing anyone I know in there. I met someone I knew in the doctors, and asked him why was he there(as you do, I thought it better to ask first, it would give me time to come up with a response), he said he was feeling like crap, and I said me too. I really hope he has a virus or something rather than what i have. Anyway, getting back to the email I got from my boss, I was amazed he did not CC anyone or invite someone to it. Obviously he does not know I have been given 2 weeks off, but still, I would have thought having a witness of some kind would be the norm?

Anyway, I want to thank you all for your comments and support. They have helped alot.

Thank you.

Kenno90

DidIDoItRite wrote: »

I went downstairs to find a knife, but my gf still slept

if your job was enough for you to even think this you definitely did the right thing , it sounded like you boss was a prick and I'm glad you left , and so should you

Das Kitty

Unregistered wrote: »

OP here. Thanks everyone for your support and avice. I don't think I will be taking a legal route on this It was bad enough talking to the doctor about it, who was a woman, and an attractive one at that, talking to a judge with thirty other people watching and not knowing whether to let the tears come or holding them back, I dont know but I cant see it happening.

Most likely you'll be able to work it out with HR and if it can't be, it's extremely rare for these things to come to court, they're almost settled well in advance of that. When you're feeling better reconsider it, you're feeling teary now but in time you'll get mad as hell, and rightly so.

Reesy

Unregistered wrote: »

OP here.../... Anyway, getting back to the email I got from my boss, I was amazed he did not CC anyone or invite someone to it. Obviously he does not know I have been given 2 weeks off, but still, I would have thought having a witness of some kind would be the norm?

Maybe the boss is worried that he's at fault & therefore doesn't want anyone else around. Maybe consider copying someone? If you meet him, make sure you have someone with you.

Good luck. And I suggest you get someone else to drop the letter in. Maybe have a chat with a lawyer, too, before you communicate with the company.

kingtut

It sounds to me like you did the sensible thing. Fair play to you

hitman76

DidIDoItRite wrote: »

Bit of background first:

I am an IT consultant who (is/was)working for a multi-national company in Ireland. Without making things too obvious to anyone who knows me, I am responsible for certain key elements that pertain the whole IT structure. One of the "key elements" has not worked for some time. High level management has put pressure on lower level management to put pressure on me to resolve the issue. This situation has all come to a head, and my manager ranted at me for a about an hour, and told me my job could be done by a monkey, that I was not good enough and that because of a mistake I made during the week(which I accept I made) my approval rating for my quarterly review would go down by 2 out of a possible 6. I have been working under an unbelievable amount of stress over the last few weeks. It is now starting to affect my health. The only way I can sleep is by having a couple of large whiskeys before I sleep other wise, I lie awake at 5 am, worrying about the next day. I wake up early and dread getting up, and need at best a cup of tea, and at worst(from a health issue at least) need a can or two of coke/red bull and a cigarette to feel able to face the day.

I have received zero in the way of support from my managers, be it professionally, or socially and today it all came together. During a rant from my manager at my performance, he told me I was nothing special, and that all a person needed to do my job was know how to use vi(a text editor for unix/linux).

I have been under a hell of a lot of pressure and stress and all of this was too much. I was asked to outline what I hade done in the last 6 months to resolve the issue, and I ended up breaking down in tears on my front porch thinking about it.

Later, while my girlfriend slept on the couch I went upstairs and cried my eyes out. I considered suicide but there was nothing to hand that would do it. I went downstairs to find a knife, but my gf still slept, and I felt I could not do anything with out consulting or at least saying goodbye to her. I asked her did she mind if I resigned from my role and worse case scenrio, were I not able to find a job would she mind me living on the dole, trying to support myself while she covered the rent and bills. I asked her would she mind if we ended up living in a bedsit for 300 a month, and she said no. We have no debts and no mortgage so financially we are in an ok position.

I was asked to write up what I did to fix the "problem", I CC'ed it to all relevant people, including upper management, and resigned from my position. I have asked for a few days to get my head sorted and then I will return with a view to briefing them on who best should replace me, and as to the best way for me to exit the company.

I am delighted that I have done it, as I feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and even if I can not get another job I would prefer to be on 200 euro a week than suffer the stress that I was suffering.

I just wonder did I handle it correctly?

I'm only happy your a person of sound mind and didn't do anything stupid.

estar

hi there - the only thing i would have done differently is to go and see the doctor and get signed off before you handed your notice in, to buy you some time.

to be honest i am imagining you still have to come down off the nervous high that a breakdown causes - you need the world to stop and get off for a while.

that said - you did resign and if i were you would see what your boss has to say. phone him. tell him that you have been to a doctor.dont make a decision when you are in the middle of the nervous breakdown. if it is the case that you arent able for the job, or need help with it, or that its an impossible task that needs to be re-structured perhaps now that your boss has pushed you to the limit, he may be in more of a mind to actually help you out. i wouldnt say he meant to make you quit. i would say he meant to scare the bejaysus out of you and bully you into the task.

right now they are probably all going - jeeze the task and the boss must be bad for someone to quit in this climate, in work. maybe your boss doesnt know what to do. he is probably talking with HR right now.

keep the small talk about the nervous breakdown apart from your boss. just say that you were worried, couldnt sleep for a few days, are suffering exhaustion and will be back after a week to discuss things, and that you are signed off sick. dont bother HR with this informtion either yet. just send them the sick certificate and a copy to management, do this monday and register the mail. HR are there to serve the management - not you. no nervous breakdown talk. a nervous breakdown means you are unable to think or move. you usualy end up in hospital. this is like the first chest pains before the breakdown. im not trivialising the way you feel, i am just saying - things are not that bad, and you will recover and feel much better in a few weeks. however it is going to take while for you to feel back to your best. woudlnt it be better to be signed off sick from work while you do this?

you need to finish things off properly. dont just walk out. say that you will be able to finish the project with a second resource, and see waht they say to that.

if i were you i would un-resign and get signed off sick instead, with exhaustion. that gives you time and space to think, and for your boss to think about the way he treated you.

document again that task - the guidance you got, and the support you received and why it is proving so hard.

if you could change anythign about your work place to make the task easier what would that be?

is it a task that normally you would be able to do?

accept this as part of being human. its not a case of pulling yourself togehter.

if i were you i would also get some legal advice. the reason for this is that it will ease your mind about the situation you were in, and will put you on an equal footing with HR. know your rights.

if you quit it will be somethign to discuss in interviews for the next couple of years. it would be better to work your way out.

freeze the decision until you have had some sleep and rest. unquit for now. you dont have to act straight away. you can always quit again if its the right time for you. but make that decision when you are at your best.

alcohol is a no no. caffeine is also a no no. get out in the fresh air every day. eat well. get some exercise. sleep. listen to music.

can your GF phone your boss to see what he has to say. saying that you are not well. keeping it simple and general.

estar

in these cases the brain just goes - get me out of here and you act. dont make any more rash decisions - you made this decision on your own when you were very very stressed.

it isnt a question of did i do the right thing. you acted out of survival. it was a complete reaction.

but you want to make sure this ends as best as it can for you. so buy yourself some time, see a specialist legal resource in the area. make sure you are at your best before you talk to them again. i am not sure if handing your notice in in the mental duress you were experiencing is even valid.

only do what you are able for. but if you could only take 3 weeks off before going back it would be better, and then go back and work your way out over a 6 month period, or until you find a new job.

however the most important thing for you is your mental well being. because you arent feeling the best, and maybe arent in the best place for making decisions see a professional legal advisor and see what they say.

this is going to be fine. longer term you are going to have to find different ways of coping with stress rather than drinking whiskey to sleep and drinking red bull in the mornings and smoking as these all fry your nerves.

you will be stronger and wiser after working through this situation, and at least you know your GF loves you! shes a keeper for all that support!

estar

juries are only used for the high court - i think that employment cases go before a tribunal which is a collection of judges.

correct me if im wrong - i dont actually know.

crying at the moment is an emotional release for you. its healthy and necessary. doctors and solicitors see men crying all the time. men who dont normally cry. if you werent crying, i would be worried. dont worry about crying. you need to cry to release all that despair and emotion that lead you to feel suicidal and backed into a corner. alcohol +lack of sleep +stress+ not confiding how you are feeling = suicidal feelings of having no other choice. there are other ways to deal with these feelings and to cope. now you have seen how much better it is to tell your GF and seek support and see a doctor. dont ever let yourself fall into that hole again. there is no need.

going to see a legal advisor so that you know your rights is not the same as going the legal route.

tbh i would dis-advise going the legal route unless you were looking at a substantial payout as i am not sure it is well received by future employers and unless you ahve a very strong case.

but you need to be informed, as information is power and power is control, and you need to regain control over this situation.

best of luck. remember you are fragile at the moment, so dont be too self critical. you are still alive. you are young with a long life. in time this will be a minor blip in your life, and you may be replying to someone elses posts with all the wisdom and experience you gain dealing with this.

BaubleFreak

DidIDoItRite wrote: »

I just wonder did I handle it correctly?

yes, and i applaud you.

carolmon

Hi OP
I definitely think you did the right thing....... no way is any job worth that amount of pain and anxiety. As an earlier poster said, your body is reacting to a unbearable situation, it's screaming at you to get away from the cause of this.

I did a very similar thing to you a couple of years ago, I walked out of a crazy unhealthy work environment with nothing else lined up workwise, which probably wasn't the wisest move.

However I don't regret it for a moment, the work environment was so toxic that I ended up hospitalised the week I resigned for a physical ailment, which was definitely stress related. This required 7 months ongoing treatment before I was back to physical health, that's not to mention emotional/ mental health!
I too was suffering panic attacks, loss of voice, sleeplessness.......all the symptoms! My doctor was brilliant, very supportive and understanding.

This workplace currently has at least 7 law suits against it to be resolved, these are from my former colleauges who suffered even worse abuse than I did (mine was more indirect/ witnessing abusive practice etc and I resigned whilst these people were driven out of their jobs)

I'm glad that people are taking the legal route and I'm really happy that these employers are to be held legally accountable BUT I also know that I would have been in no position health wise to take this route myself.

I instinctively knew that I just needed a complete and irreconcilable break with this chapter in my life. The legal option would have meant that I would have been on some level engaged with these people and going over all the **** again and again and I felt I wasn't strong enough to do that at that time in my life, I knew I had to put my health above all else and I'm glad I did, for the sake of my partner and child as much as anything.

It's a personal decision and it's for you to make whether to sue or not, you definitely have valid grounds to go for constructive dismissal at least.

It's shocking to see that so many employers behave in such a manner, despite legislation protecting worker's rights, sad to say it will prob get even worse in current times.

Anyway fair play to you for putting your health first, continue to look after yourself and your girlfriend, that's what's most important in life.

My partner was brilliant to me through all this, I loved his response to my resignation 2 weeks before Christmas with January bills looming and no income......... he simply said "I'm proud of you".
He knew what it was doing to me staying in that madhouse!

I'm working now and believe me every job is not the same, I love going into work now and I appreciate what I have, I dread to think where I would be if I had stayed in my last job...........6 ft under possibly!

BTW you have 3 yrs to make a claim, concentrate on your getting back to your full health and then see how you feel.
Best of luck.

Whiskey Devil

Sorry to hear about your situation OP. No pay cheque is worth risking your mental health like that!

Take some out and get yourself back on track. Best of luck to you and your girlfriend.

LegacyUser

OP here. I fel a little bit better. Am on my third day of anti-depressants, and while yesterday I felt awful, I am feeling better today. After searching online for the side effects of the frug most people said they had a feeling of "blah". Its sounds silly but thats the best way i can use to describe how I felt yesterday. That and terrible sweating, but that is meant to be normal. I am going to get a friend to drop the note into HR. The notes states that I should not talk to work at all in the next 2 weeks and to put all queries through her. I am going to send an email to my boss and his boss, and inform them that a letter has been despatched and if they want to contact me via my doctor. Thats what she told me to say.

I have told my sister what happened, but have asked her not to tell my parents. I don't know if I should tell anyone else, or if I should, who should I tell. I dont want people swarming round me the sympathy, and I dont want to talk about it. Not yet anyway. I have an appointment for a counselor during the week. Apart from/her, I dont want to talk to anyone else. Maybe I will just point a close friend to this thread and tell them im fine and not to contact me yet?

As for the job I dont know what to do about it. I cant face the idea of going back into the offfice. And I cant face looking at anyone I work with face to face.

Thanks again to everyone for your help and support. It means alot. Thanks

LegacyUser

Hi,
I read your post and it made me cry. I was in a horrible position last year and felt suicidal because of it.. didnt know who to turn to.. My background..

Went into a business start up with a friend.. it didnt work out.. I lost a lot of money out of it in the end. .I had to walk away from it. I spent 2 months trying to get something else.. found a job working for a complete F******er who promised me the earth, moon and stars in my new role as his PA.. he was indian.. and treated me like s**T.. .. Seemed to think I was a second class citizen, talked down to me, ordered me around and gave me unrealistic targets every day.. I got so stressed out with him.. that I decided I couldnt work with him any longer.. I walked out. went on sick leave for a month, resigned.. threatened to sue his ass and report him. .anyways.. two weeks later. I secured a very good job of which I am now happily settled in 10 months later.. You were right to leave.. you have a supportive partner by the sounds of it.. I didnt have anybody which made it more difficult for me..but leaving that job was the best thing I ever did.. IF you feel healthier for it.. thats good.. You should have gone on full sick pay though. a Gp would have give you a note for sick leave and you would have been covered.. you could have spent those weeks job hunting, relaxing whatever. it would buy you some time whilst you made up your mind.. anyways.. your health is the most important thing.. best of luck.. I wouldnt let your bosses get away with that though.. youre better than that and remember that. .take care.