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Bit of a strange one!!

  • 26-02-2009 4:38pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Gonna go unreg'd for this one.. Right this is a bit of a weird one Was out this week with a friend (male) and met up with some other friends He disappears and dont see him for the rest of the nite Was pretty p'd off by this. We do have a habit of getting together when we're drunk but it never went past this. He called saying he was at his house with sum random girl (who turned out to be his waster of an ex) I just flipped inside and it was eating me up inside that he was with another girl. I just did not want him to be with anyone else. Don't know how exactly I felt but I know it wasn't right. Said all this to him and neither of us know what to make of it but I know we cant go bk to how we were as some might see we were too close anyway More or less live together at the mo same bed and all..

    Advice needed people


Comments

  • #2
    star-pants
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    So you and this guy are good friends, who usually kiss when drunk, and ye share the same bed when one's staying over? and it never goes further than that?
    to me, that's just a bit odd to be honest.

    As regards your reaction - you clearly have feelings for him, or else it wouldn't have hurt you that he'd buggered off with another girl.

    Ye both need to sort out who feels what for whom - and then set some boundaries from there. Unless he becomes your boyfriend you can't stop him being with anyone else and that's going to get to you. If it's a case that he doesn't feel the same, then you're going to have to take a break from the intense friendship thing. You're too close - it's not like a casual relationship with previous agreements, you guys get together when drunk but it hurts when one's with someone else.

    You need to have a strong think about how you really feel about him - would you want him as a boyfriend? Does he feel for you that way? or was it just a convenience that he was with you when drunk? Only you two know how ye feel - and things can't go back to how they were as you said.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    You two need to sort your priorities out? What do you feel for him? What does he feel for you? Does he care about you at all? Are you able to give up what sounds to be a great connection between two people for the sake of a drunken night of jealousy? Has anything ever happened when you two havent got alcohol consumed?

    Sounds to me like you two are already a couple (sleep in the same bed-kiss) without making anything official (which i would think is probably his doing as men want all the good stuff and never the serious stuff)? Does he have commitment issues?

    Do whats right for you and let him follow. Could it be a possibility that he feels the same way about you but is afraid of the rejection and needs you to show him how you really feel.... Recommend you would speak about all this sober??


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Wait so lets get this straight. He is male. You are female. You kiss/fondle whatever when you are on a night out. (Presuming here now) but i will continue- you two come home and get into the same bed and NOTHING HAPPENS?? From an outside perspective is their any possibility that he might be gay? (obviously u dont think this atm) Any man after a few drinks will be up for anything in a bed with a lady beside him. (even if the two of you look like gremlins which im sure you dont:-)) No straight man could resist trying something and I know I speak for all man kind when I say this! Ask him does he find you/other women attractive or would he be more interested in a male compannion?

    Whatever you do leave room for things to progress in the future. I was in a similar situation a few years ago. A girl i went to college with and spent a lot of time together as friends had a few kisses on nights out. She went to australia for 6 months and while she was gone I missed her so much that i knew i was missing her more than it would any other friend. I sent her the odd text and it used to kill me when she would txt bk going on about her lastest oz buck. The night she was coming home I drove over 2 hours to get to her house to tell her I loved her and missed her so much and I wanted us to be together only to be turned down :( she said she had feelings for me during college but she was over me!! Absolute shocker for me to know she liked me(havent got the most confidence in myself) Beinging the charmer that i am i didnt let this be the end of it and after 4weeks we were a couple and are now living together for 2 years and absolutely in love. Would never think of looking at anyone else!

    Think of the future and the possibility of the two of ye making each other happy!!


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