Seeing his ex

LegacyUser

Boyfriend seeing his ex they met back up through bebo.

I'm angry and don't know how to take it.

Wibbs

What do you mean by "seeing" his ex? If he's getting it on with her, then dump him. If he's meeting her and keeping it secret from you, it's not good either and could mean he's planning or has been getting it on with her. Confront him and find out what's what.

Sephiroth_dude

Sit him down and talk to.

Vinta81

Don't get angry if you don't know the full story! They could just be re-uniting as friends, they are allowed to do that. Don't play the jealous gf/bf card, not attractive.

star-pants

Wibbs wrote: »

What do you mean by "seeing" his ex? If he's getting it on with her, then dump him. If he's meeting her and keeping it secret from you, it's not good either and could mean he's planning or has been getting it on with her. Confront him and find out what's what.

100% agree -- if he's kissing her etc - then bye bye boyfriend. Also if he's meeting her but not telling you then it seems a bit suspicious.
Best to ask him hun

Katgurl

OP, can you please elaborate on the following?

How do you know they are meeting up?
What explanation did he give (if any) for meeting?
How long are you with your boyfriend?
How long ago did they split up / spend together?
Do you know her?
Are they in any way friendly (mutual friends / text messages)?


Why are you so angry?

LegacyUser

They were ten months together then on and off for a year. They used to work in the same supermarket together part time.

He said he simply wants to be her friend. Going out for drinks with her but I wouldn't be allowed to go.

She left him flirtatious text messages and "Can't wait for us to meet up wish I wasn't so busy!" THAT IS NOT RIGHT.

Sorry I'm going mental here.

I talked to him but it seemed to do no good.

He said even though I disagree he'll still do it [see her] anyway because she's his friend.

Relationship terminated 3 years ago and suddenly she's back.

LegacyUser

Yeah def talk to him about why they met up. Still you cant excuse why he kept it from you.
Have they any reasons for meeting up - kids, finances, etc if not he has alot of explaining to do.

Femelade

I was going to tell you that you are over-reacting, and if he wants to be friends with his ex, then there is nothing you can do about it, the have known eachother alot longer than you know him.....BUT..
then you said there that they broke up 3 yrs ago and suddenly she's back...THAT i would not be impressed with. and i went through a similar experience a while back with my boyfriend, only they had broken up 6 yrs before hand and little or no contact until i started going out with him..caused nothing but trouble..her txts and phone calls in the middle of the night, wanting to meet up with him..
I would tell him its not on.

Poloman

Froma blokes perspective: If i told my girlfriend she wasnt allowed come out with me it would be over.

The fact that he says you cant come out with him when he meets her is incredible. That alone for me would be an insult. You arent ALLOWED out with your boyfriend?? WTF?

They may be just friends its hard to say but you have tried talking to him and that hasnt worked. He seems like a plonker acting like that towards you.

I wouldnt stand for it.

Monkey61

While "allow" is a bad turn of phrase I wouldn't want my girlfriend to come out with me when meeting certain friends in one on one situations for instance and she certainly wouldn't ask. You need to have your own friends in a relationship and time and space away from your partner. One needs space to talk to other people about your relationship for one thing and you couldn't do that if your partner was sitting beside you. I wouldn't be too impressed either if I was meeting up with friends and they were insistent on bringing a partner that I didn't know and wasn't friends with myself.

The fact that he hasn't spoken to this ex in ages is a good thing as people need time to move on and be able to be just friends. It would be more worrisome if he was meeting up with someone he had just recently broken up with because then one would worry about emotions running high and the like.

LeahBaby

TBH it wouldn't be ok if my bf said or did that.

I wouldn't be happy about that-too much history.

Nitxteha

I would break up with him,walk away.. no drama..He's being disrespectful to you, don't even tell him why because he surely knows..

Find anothoer guy for whom you are number one, you deserve it

stevelknievel

You have questions, you need answers. Whether you're completely overreacting like a crazy person or not, he's not offering any help at all. I think that's an issue. He should be, if not trying to prove his innocence, then at least trying to ease your mind and help you through some doubts by offering to bring you along when he meets her. And as Poloman said

The fact that he says you cant come out with him when he meets her is incredible. That alone for me would be an insult. You arent ALLOWED out with your boyfriend?? WTF?

Ridiculous. I may be jumping to a concluison here, but to me it doesn't sound like he cares too much. Personally I think whether he's cheating on you or not, you should examine your relationship very closely and see if he's worth it.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Would jsut be ridiculous if you went along.

Its possible he's just gonna meet her and catch up etc.

Given the history I can see why you're upset. I think you should compromise. Give him your blessing to meet up with her at say 7, but he's to meet you at 9:30/10. If he won't agree to that he's probably up to something

LegacyUser

Right talked it out. He said he isn't going to do anything I am not comfortable with. But then he said he's going to see her anyway. The fact that she was so important to him all that time ago he just wants to see how she's doing, he says I have nothing to worry about. I told him my every concern. And it doesn't matter now. I can't be unreasonable and tell him who he can and can not see. He said he's going to see her but not when. I can't keep tabs on him every minute. And I'm certainly not going to ring him every time he isn't in touch with me.

I asked him what if she wants him back. What if these emotions are still there?

The only reason why they broke up was because she was leaving to go to USA to work on a summer camp and stay there for 6 months. They ended on good terms. Which is what I'm afraid of. He says she's fun. He says she's funny. And he wants to be her friend.

But that if it were me meeting up with an ex, he would not be ok with that.

I am going mad but what can I do. He is going to see her at the end of the day, whether I like it or not. I don't want to break up. And I don't want to be using this as a reason to threaten him or whatever.

That idea about him meeting her at 7 and me at 9:30 would work, if he respected time and meetings, which he doesn't.

I can't do anything about this other than tell him I hope he has fun.

This is killing me though. I love this person but how much can he put me through..