Inventions that would make cycling better....

von Neumann

Basicly a gps unit with updated traffic light sequences that would advise on the best speed to avoid having to stop and start.

Or a cheaper option (I think) would be a little unit that would learn your routine/route and advise on speed.

Do you think this would be usefull?

What else could we invent?

ednwireland

a bike with an engine in it would be really cool you wouldn't have to do any of that nasty pedaling

Raam

von Neumann wrote: »

Basicly a gps unit with updated traffic light sequences that would advise on the best speed to avoid having to stop and start.

Or a cheaper option (I think) would be a little unit that would learn your routine/route and advise on speed.

Do you think this would be usefull?

What else could we invent?

Does stopping really bother you that much?!

scottreynolds

von Neumann wrote: »

Basicly a gps unit with updated traffic light sequences that would advise on the best speed to avoid having to stop and start.

Or a cheaper option (I think) would be a little unit that would learn your routine/route and advise on speed.

Do you think this would be usefull?

What else could we invent?

RU taking the piss. Don't waste time inventing this. Invent a unit that will change the light sequences when you approach so you can go as fast as you want and also never stop.

DirkVoodoo

handlebar mounted death-ray: for when somebody really pisses you off.

Track stand magnets: so i can track-stand without worrying about toppling over.

a free wheel that doesn't make a "click-click" noise but a "euro-euro" noise.

AstraMonti

DirkVoodoo wrote: »

a free wheel that doesn't make a "click-click" noise but a "euro-euro" noise.

i really lol'ed

Gavin

I investigated Dirks idea of heated handlebars that he mentioned one. Very doable.

Lumen

A holographic projector that makes me look like this, and a silent but powerful electric assist.

MCOS

ednwireland wrote: »

a bike with an engine in it would be really cool you wouldn't have to do any of that nasty pedaling

Its called a motorbike, invented already by a German guy called Daimler or something over 100 years ago...

scottreynolds

A single speed with gears

von Neumann

Raam wrote: »

Does stopping really bother you that much?!

Yes I am lazy b*st*rd

DARKIZE

some razor that would mean you only had to shave your legs once per season

false hairy leg coverings that you could carry in your pocket and apply in case you scored and didn't want to have the long explaination about why your legs are suddenly hairless from your crotch down

von Neumann

scottreynolds wrote: »

RU taking the piss. Don't waste time inventing this. Invent a unit that will change the light sequences when you approach so you can go as fast as you want and also never stop.

What if we have two cyclist aproaching on different roads at the same time.
Bicycle only, spegitti junctions anybody.

von Neumann

DARKIZE wrote: »

some razor that would mean you only had to shave your legs once per season

false hairy leg coverings that you could carry in your pocket and apply in case you scored and didn't want to have the long explaination about why your legs are suddenly hairless from your crotch down

Spay on hair.....sorted

http://www.onlyhairloss.com/glh/

RobFowl

A rapid action spray to turn all white cycling shoes black

Raam

RobFowl wrote: »

A rapid action spray to turn all white cycling shoes black

BURN HIM!

stuf

Gyroscopic self-levelling handlebar-mounted cup holder for picking up a grande latte on the way to work

Nisio

A door-bell on the back left corner of any heavy goods vehicle that you could press to alert the driver to your presence if you had to go up the left hand side

DARKIZE

An anti-wheelsucker oil-slick deployment device (a la James Bond in Goldfinger).

Or a computer-controlled talking bike a la Knightrider. "Darkize, my long-range scanner shows severe headwinds and potholes on our current course. I recommend you take the next right and draft a JCB that will be entering the road in 30 seconds".

Sweet

von Neumann

DARKIZE wrote: »

An anti-wheelsucker oil-slick deployment device (a la James Bond in Goldfinger).

Or a computer-controlled talking bike a la Knightrider. "Darkize, my long-range scanner shows severe headwinds and potholes on our current course. I recommend you take the next right and draft a JCB that will be entering the road in 30 seconds".

Sweet

Not sure about the jcb, but we could do wind adjusted route planning .

von Neumann

As crazy as it sound a bus with huge doors just for bikes/cyclists.
It's so crazy it might just work .

CheGuedara

How about

1. A bar mounted camera & sensor that if detects someone in sight has put flat bars and a carrier onto a Cervelo it automatically calls a mental intitution for them?

2. Some kinda of lock that's filled with high pressure paint/tobasco sauce/skunk smell that if cut sprays the lock-cutting-bike-stealing scobe with a loada nastiness??

Finally and actually meaningfully - A bar mounted hypersonic dog repeller (it'd sell millions but the handlebars would be a mess with all the computers, gps's, cervelo nut detectors etc, very un-euro)

abcdggs

Invisible axle grease, i hate when that stuff gets on my hands :mad:. one those ultrasonic dog reppelers that has been set to the right frequency for bike thieves.

david

A grinder-proof bike lock.

* Some kind of close (like 10mm) force field which, if a car or something moving equally fast (the ground towards you) came into contact with you would cushion your fall so that it'd feel like falling on a million pillows.

* Anti-ice laser

* Weather manipulator

* I've toyed with the idea of having an alarm within a bikelock before, or else having the bikelock made out of a supermagnetic material that'd only activate when the U-lock (assuming it's a U-lock) is cut, which would be too strong for someone to pull apart without the assistance of some big tools.

If anyone steals these I want a cut.

Civilian_Target

A bike frame made entirely of LEDs, so no-one can claim they didn't see you.

NeilMcEoigheann

CheGuedara wrote: »

Finally and actually meaningfully - A bar mounted hypersonic dog repeller (it'd sell millions but the handlebars would be a mess with all the computers, gps's, cervelo nut detectors etc, very un-euro)

i have the solution and i demand cervelo shaped royalties...
the hypersonic dog repellents are the bar plugs.................
sutable wiring will run inside the bars... they will also have a vibration dampening function like those expensive ones from bontrager....

i like the dye pack u-lock, until you get rear ended while your kryptonite is in your back pocket *BOOM* place looks like a masacare, and red dye ain't euro

NeilMcEoigheann

scottreynolds wrote: »

A single speed with gears

its a sturmey archer internal hub.... up to 8 gears..

kincsem

1. Front wheel falls off if anyone does a wheelie.
2. Rider's chain falls off if they shout "left" during the Wicklow 200. Just a personal thing. I would have eliminated half the riders last year with this. :mad:
3. A bike with the correct gear ratio for getting up hills.
4. A device to immobilise cars whose drivers are using mobile phones. This is possible.
5. A quick brain / or automated device to deliver a witty retort to the f***** who shouted "C'mon Boardman" to me.

blorg

Ultrasonic dog repellers (Dog Dazer) exist although they don't work on all dogs. Particularly deaf ones.

Same with locks with alarms although that one wasn't very good.

The sturmey archer fixed hub exists (or at least will, soon) - it's 3 gears AFAIK for the fixed version as opposed to the freewheel.

Capt'n Midnight

scottreynolds wrote: »

RU taking the piss. Don't waste time inventing this. Invent a unit that will change the light sequences when you approach so you can go as fast as you want and also never stop.

why not get one of those ones the buses use ?

should be possible to reverse engineer even if you can't get an original

Capt'n Midnight

stuf wrote: »

Gyroscopic self-levelling handlebar-mounted cup holder for picking up a grande latte on the way to work

or you could use this much simpler device which works
http://www.tlb.org/scooter.html


http://www.tlb.org/cupholder.mpg

Capt'n Midnight

CheGuedara wrote: »

How about

1. A bar mounted camera & sensor that if detects someone in sight has put flat bars and a carrier onto a Cervelo it automatically calls a mental intitution for them?
...
Finally and actually meaningfully - A bar mounted hypersonic dog repeller (it'd sell millions but the handlebars would be a mess with all the computers, gps's, cervelo nut detectors etc, very un-euro)

merge all devices together using a PDA or similar
they can do GPS , you can get them with cameras and internet and some OCR software, you can get them to play high pitched noises at the dog and use the camera to detect which one works best on each dog

1 Cycle to work
2 (see below)
3 profit !

you can also use the camera and ocr and internet to automatically report drivers for driving in bus lanes and all that other stuff , if only there was a 10% snitching fee you'd be sorted

Capt'n Midnight

von Neumann wrote: »

As crazy as it sound a bus with huge doors just for bikes/cyclists.
It's so crazy it might just work .

http://www.toronto.ca/ttc/bike_racks.htm

72hundred

de-potholer

Junior

A Polar HRM that didn't have something as stupid as infra red, jesus bluetooth or a usb slot...

scottreynolds

Junior wrote: »

A Polar HRM that didn't have something as stupid as infra red, jesus bluetooth or a usb slot...

and works on a mac please

Junior

scottreynolds wrote: »

and works on a mac please

Sigh ! I had to build an XP Machine and then I found the f*ckin thing still doesn't work, If I had hair I'd be pulling it out ...

scottreynolds

Junior wrote: »

Sigh ! I had to build an XP Machine and then I found the f*ckin thing still doesn't work, If I had hair I'd be pulling it out ...

I have an old PC that it works with fine. The drivers for the USB drive are a hassle. I think the Garmin 705 seems like the deal to go for... it seems to work and you can just get to the files......

I love my Polar but I hate the USB interface. How hard can a MAC USB stick be to create. I tried to use a Virtual Machine on my mac but it didn't work either..... you would laugh to see how I can from my polar to my VM ....

stuf

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

or you could use this much simpler device which works
http://www.tlb.org/scooter.html


http://www.tlb.org/cupholder.mpg

Ah but that only works because it's attached to a segway type scooter which has gyroscopic levelling - would be fooked on Dublin's potholes and the ramp into my work

AstraMonti

thats what we need!

abcdggs

thats what we need!

how long?? i want it

AstraMonti

abcdggs wrote: »

how long?? i want it

send him an email, he might create one for you for few quids

http://elementemag.blogspot.com/2008/09/bicycle-di-fantastico_17.html

http://www.albertodelbiondi.com/

Home:Ballyhoura

A bike that came with a built in computer, like nearly everyone puts on on their bike straight away and I hate all the fiddly bits, cable ties etc. Trek have a compartment in some of their forks (W.I.N.D. sensor) for Trek specific computers. If this was coupled with a special spoke, like the red ones on Mavic wheels we would be sorted. A built in speed sensor would be so neat and really class. Maybe a LCD in the stem would be a good idea!

Also, built in lights would be pretty cool. A few well placed LED would be great. Saddle, bars etc!

stuf

self-cleaning, self-lubing bike!!!!

Macha

von Neumann wrote: »

Basicly a gps unit with updated traffic light sequences that would advise on the best speed to avoid having to stop and start.

Or a cheaper option (I think) would be a little unit that would learn your routine/route and advise on speed.

Do you think this would be usefull?

Believe it or not, this already exists..in Denmark, of course:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEOakvjuIEs

Home:Ballyhoura

taconnol wrote: »

Believe it or not, this already exists..in Denmark, of course:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEOakvjuIEs

Sweet! Is that just on one street though?

abcdggs

stuf wrote: »

self-cleaning, self-lubing bike!!!!

if only everything was that easy, lol

abcdggs

taconnol wrote: »

Believe it or not, this already exists..in Denmark, of course:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEOakvjuIEs

aye, is it 12-13 thou per set of bolards? that is pretty steep!

Macha

abcdggs wrote: »

aye, is it 12-13 thou per set of bolards? that is pretty steep!

Perhaps but countries like Denmark fully recognise the massive benefits of encouraging cyclists: less pollution, less c02, less congestion, healthier citizens, less stress on the health-care system, less noise pollution, less space required to facilitate car parking, less serious road accidents, etc etc.

Think about the horrible imbalance in money spent on car-based transport in this country. I mean DCC only just got a cycling engineer ffs.

Edit: and I read this article last week that explains the science behind why we hate stopping so much!

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/men/article5726827.ece

Why is it a universal truth that cyclists hate losing momentum? If we were walking, we’d be happy to stop and then start strolling again. But put us on a bike and we’re crazy mustangs.

I guess it’s because we know instinctively that it’s harder work picking up speed again on a bike than when walking. But exactly how much harder is it? The answer from Chris Juden, technical officer of the Cyclists’ Touring Club, is a revelation.

Well, riding a bike at a steady pace takes as much energy as walking at a quarter of that speed. So cycling at 12mph is the same as walking at 3mph. Which explains why most people are as happy to cycle four miles to work as they are to walk one. Cycling at this speed on an uninterrupted four-mile journey, lasting 20 minutes, would result in a total energy expenditure of 90 kilojoules.

Every time a cyclist or pedestrian stops, they lose kinetic energy and have to work harder on starting off to accelerate and restore that kinetic energy. Now — and this is the maths bit — kinetic energy is proportional to mass multiplied by speed squared. This means to reach a steady cycling speed four times that of walking, requires a 16-fold increase in energy (plus about 25% more for the added mass of the bike).

So here it is: the cyclist has to expend about 20 times as much energy as a pedestrian to reach his normal journey speed again. This energy could have carried the cyclist a great deal further had no stop been made. In fact one stop-start is the equivalent to cycling an extra 100 metres while a pedestrian can stop-start and expend no more energy than it takes to walk a couple of steps.

And if you’ve ever wondered why children riding bikes have a natural disregard for road markings, this might be part of the answer. They also know that bikes are harder to control at low speed and so will keep going at all costs.

“This is not a peculiar cussedness of cyclists,” says Juden. “Let anyone ride a bike and they immediately discover that stopping is a grievous waste of hard-earned momentum.”

Capt'n Midnight

an attempt at puncture proof tyres