I don't want a hen

kt09

I dont want the typical hen. I dont enjoy that type of a night out. in dream land, i'd spend a nice day out with my mother and sisters. my friends, have other plans ( all with good intentions). My wedding is in May, so they "need" to organise it soon apparantly. No-one believes me when i say I dont want a hen.. they think I am being polite. ( I have gone to numerous friends hens - so they assume I like them- I only went to be polite).
How did you get out of it? Without insulting old mates and the in-laws to be??
Any advise??

tinkerbell

Just tell them that you don't want it and won't go to it if one is organised. Stick to your guns, it's YOUR day so you should spend it how you want it and the other events coming up to it, i.e. hen night.

For me, the idea of a hen night would be absolute hell on earth! I hate all the tack and going to some club and urgh it makes my skin crawl. But then again I'm a total home bird, don't drink and don't go out that much. Plus all my friends drink so it would be too much of a crazy night for me. I think that when I get married, for my "anti-hen party", I'm just gonna go on a shopping trip with my mom.

You don't have to have a hen anyway. I don't like the idea that weddings have to be set in stone and everybody expects to do x,y,z just like the neighbour up the road. Do what you like. If you don't want a hen, don't have one. If your friends want to go on a typical hen, then one of them should get married instead so that they can have their night out!

livvy

I can see where you are coming from - you feel semi obliged and under pressure. I went away with my mam, sisters, aunts and friends. My mam really enjoyed it and hijacked the band in the hotel. It was great night and im so glad i had one. It wasn't your typical locked and falling about the place but great fun. Don't deny yourself - the older crowd really shine and wipe the floor with the young wans....btw I was 28 yrs when had my hen.

Toots

I don't plan on having a 'hen' night either, I'd just like a nice meal with my mum/mum in law, sisters/sisters in law and one or two very close friends. If you really don't want a hen night, don't have one. Stick to your guns, there's no reason for you to put yourself through something you won't enjoy just so everyone else can have a night out.

Does your Mum know how you feel? Or your sisters? I'd get them on your side and have them back you up. Ask one of them to chat to the friends that are insisting on a hen night and explain to them how you feel about it. If somebody else says it to them, they'll probably cop on that you're serious about not wanting one.

esharknz

Yeah, I'm not having one either, instead, opting for a meal out with guests. I often thought I was the only one who didn't want a hens night! It's your wedding, and you should do as you see fit.

Ebonyellie

i didnt have a hen either because i hate all that tack, but i did have a party in my house with my closest friends, sister, sisters in law my mother and mother in law. It was lovely because the mams wouldnt be the type that would want to hop from pub to pub, they loved the night we had in my house. We had a country & western themed party and everyone dressed all country style. We hired a karaoke and built a little stage, there were bails of straw everywhere and i managed to get cardboard cactus and saloon signs & stuff like that, and it looked great and i didnt have to invite all and sundry because i made it known it was to be a small gathering. It didnt look like a hen party because there wasnt an L plate or inflatable willy in sight - cool! i would advise you to think of what you really would like to do and go with what you want, weddings are stresssful enough without worrying over a hen you dont really want, its your celebration, enjoy it - good luck with the wedding

kt09

a little house party sounds ideal! thanks!
i guess i just keep it quiet!
thanks for all the input!