Going out to a pub on your own.

bluecell99

Does anyone do it?Or do you have to be meeting"mates"?Do you ever strike up a conversation with other people in a bar who are not part of your gang ?

What about all the attached folks with kids who no longer do the pub?What happens the single person then.Stay at home or go out hoping to broaden the circle and make new friends?There seems to be a big issue with talking to anyone outside of the group.I must say its much more noticeable in Dublin bars than on the continent where the atmosphere can be more friendly and inclusive.

Is it some sort of defence mechanism where people are terrifed of actually acknowledging someone else who is not part of the gang?

Do people think the gang is there for life and they must never make new friends and that everyone must be the same age?I have noticed it a lot and have heard many tourists day the same thing.

Any thoughts ?

BaconZombie

PI is that way =>

Latchy

Might be just an Irish thing were playing safe with what you know ,who you know and wanting to be part of the circle or group .This has come up before in another thread were some said they would have no problem sitting in a pub with a newspaper which always used to be a regular pastime in Ireland .You make converstation with the stranger opposite , then good .However some also said they would have reservations about going to a nightclub on their own .

Abi

BOFH_139 wrote: »

PI is that way =>

Ah its not really a PI.

OP, there was a similarish thread on this a while back bout pubs and clubs.

Id never go to a club alone. But if a pub is quiet Id head in and read a paper. Locals are friendly and chatty, but I dont always want that.

SV

Half the fun in going out is to get talking to strangers.

galwayrush

I usually go for a drink.:rolleyes:

Abi

ClioV6 wrote: »

Half the fun in going out is to get talking to strangers.

Lolz. Who will probably spike your drink and árse rape you later :pac:

Get what you mean though

cossworxenergy

I do it regulary just head to the pub early before mates and I would meet loads a people and be chattin away no problem. Last night for instance a guy was out smokin and have talked to him before was standing out beergarden because inside was packed. So invited him to sit down. Talked to him for ages and den my mates came and then they chatted the night away to him and we had others join and we had great craic. Just common courtesy basically. Defo go out on your own you meet new people!. Same thing happened down in westport in mayo. I was on me own down there working and three girls said can we join ya. HAPPY DAYS. Went clubbbin with em after then back to a party in their house so YEA DO IT!!

fryup

but nowadays, people don't want to drink on they're own in fear of being looked upon as a "saddo"

What about a girl doing this on her own? I know it's grand for blokes, but I'd feel very strange sitting at a bar on my own unless I was meeting someone. I feel like people would be wondering why I was there (and if I was a hooker or something :P) and also you'd probably get bothered?

liah

When I first moved to Ireland from Canada, I found myself going to the pub on my own a lot.

I moved for a job, an incredibly solitary one (worked completely on my own at a yard) that took up my entire day, so that when I was done there was nowhere else to go other than the pub as everything else would be closed. Had to make friends one way or another.

Now, for a guy that would probably not be a problem at all, but I'm a young, relatively attractive girl, so it usually ended up in one of two situations.

One, I'd be there on my todd, and I'd get all the old pervy guys (ALWAYS get the old ones coming up to me, wtf?) cornering me to talk to me with no means of being bailed out by a mate, and I'm horrible at being mean/rude so I'd just kind of sit there and bear it, or

two, no one would approach me because either I must be crazy for going out on my own or I must have a boyfriend so I was unapproachable by the lads.

It's horribly frustrating and depressing but it kind of forces you to build your confidence and go up to people instead of waiting for people to come up to you, I guess.

I still go into some of the pubs on my own now, but only if I know the staff I know is working so I don't get a reputation as that weird one who sits on her own all the time and has no friends, and am more of thought of as just kind of a local. Plus now I always run into a couple people I can talk to instead of being literally completely stranded.

Eh. Whatever. Anyone in Mullingar wanna be pub buddies?!

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

I do it from time to time, no big deal really... unless you have no friends, then your pretty much screwed...

fryup

liah wrote: »

Anyone in Mullingar wanna be pub buddies?!

you live in mullingar , my heart goes out to you:(

bluecell99

some great replies and good to hear not everyone has to be with a crowd.It does build confidence and its no harm to broaden the horizons.As posters have said you can meet great people and have good night.

As for not wanting to appear as a "saddo" I reckon people who would think like this or look on someone on their own as a saddo have real issues which they should deal with.Hope it stays fine for ye.

A bit harder for women definitely but hopefully more and more will see it as perfectly normal.Again,if there's anyone who assumes a woman like this has to be a hooker should get a life before its too late.

Blue Magic

fryup wrote: »

but nowadays, people don't want to drink on they're own in fear of being looked upon as a "saddo"

Isn't that the real problem with people (particularly younger people) these days. The obsession with how people see them... I've always taken the view of "f*ck em" and served me fine!

petronius

Many times i go out to the Pub on my own - as I am driving I will order a coffee and get a funny look and told some lie that the machine is finished then reluctantly offered tea.
But i tend to get talking to people, even cursory if a guy pops in and asks whats in the paper or what match is on the tv
If there is a match i am interested in and it is on on a mid week night I will go (if friends want to join me fine if not no problem)
I thought it was a very irish thing to talk to people outside your circle of friends when in a bar or pub.
But go out, talk to people,enjoy. dont sit in the corner and fiddle with your mobile phone

A Primal Nut

I travel a lot for work and go to pubs on my own all the time when I'm abroad. Usually grand once they find out I'm visiting and get meeting people then. Usually I go to Irish pubs. I know there is that thing about Irish people going to Irish pubs abroad but don't care. It's usually easy to get to know the barmen after a few trips and talk to people at the bar, meet locals and other travellers and so on, and helps if there is a match on so I'm not bored. Had some mental nights abroad that started with a couple of quiet ones in an Irish bar.

I've done it a couple of times in Ireland but for some reason I feel more self conscious. I usually get food, so feels a bit less uncomfortable.

A Primal Nut

Blue Magic wrote: »

Isn't that the real problem with people (particularly younger people) these days. The obsession with how people see them... I've always taken the view of "f*ck em" and served me fine!

On a conscious level I agree, but subconsciously there is also that nagging doubt of insecurity in certain bars depending on the vibe.

discus

Going to a pub on your own is awesome, some of the best nights I've had have been when I'm just out for 1 or 2 before bed. I tend to travel quite a bit through work - my home is wherever my bags are - so I'll just pop along to somewhere and order a pint at the bar and see what happens. I've got my pic behind a bar in plymouth, holyhead, few places in scotland at this stage, just from the epic nights. Half the time its the bar staff looking for a laugh more than anything!

I was reading a John le Carré novel on the night of the World Cup opening ceremony, got quite a few people over striking up conversations - probably soccer widows. 2 of them have spotted me in other pubs and we've swapped numbers... If I had gone to the pub 'on the pull', it would never happen of course!!

corner of hells

Hopefully the OP wont wait five years to post a reply .

Grayson

liah wrote: »

Eh. Whatever. Anyone in Mullingar wanna be pub buddies?!

I grew up there and I hardly know the pub scene. I do know that there it looks like there are fecking hundreds of them though.



I'll actually pop into my local occasionally on the way home to see if anyone is here. i used to pop in during the day on slow day to have a pint and do the crossword but i haven't had time in ages.

freddiek

just grab a stool and sit at the bar. Easier to strike up a conversation there than tucked away at a table in a corner, say..

5 years and some closed accounts later, still a pressing concern...

dd972

I think what puts most people off going out to a pub on their own is the likelihood of being on the receiving end of group-against-the-individual smartarseary and wisecracks, it's a bit of an odd assumption that the solitary person in the pub is on their own 24/7 and doesn't have family, friends or their own cliques to hang out with at other times.

Shakespeare's Sister

My local a few doors up is like a living-room and tiny, with just a handful of people in there every time, so it's not noticed if you're on your own - everyone just chats anyway. Going in there for a pint of stout on the way home from town is lovely now and again.
Otherwise, no.

neamhspleachi

Just back from a swift beer in Alfie Byrnes on my lunch break

Foam & Fury for lunch, lovely

Nemeses

bluewolf wrote: »

5 years and some closed accounts later, still a pressing concern...

In before the lock-in yeah?

hatrickpatrick

I head out by myself all the time, but it's a bit of a cod since my mates always tend to head to the same places, so I'm bound to run into people when I go there. I don't always make plans though, a lot of the time I'll just hit our usual haunts at night and go "Sure we'll see who's around". On the offchance that nobody I know is out that night, I then have nothing to do for the whole night so I end up chatting up girls I'd normally be too shy to out of pure boredom, so it's a win-win situation really

DEFTLEFTHAND

Maybe during the day to read the paper or whatever, I'd be too shy to go in on my own at night, I'd feel like a clown.

frozenfrozen

I did this for the first time recently. I was waiting on people arriving to meet me, but I knew well that I would be there for a good amount of time on my own.
I ended up hearing ridiculously interesting things about transvestites, bees, and art, in reverse order.

It's nice every once in a while to be out of the comfort zone of talking to people who you're sure aren't murderers, and not using your phone to make it look like you have friends.
Statistically you're more likely to be murdered by someone you already know anyway, so talking to new people about bees is a fairly safe pass-time. (Your mileage may vary)

P_1

bluewolf wrote: »

5 years and some closed accounts later, still a pressing concern...

I often wonder if people bother looking to the left of the screen before they hit the reply button

Henlars67

I go drinking on my own regularly. Always end up talking to somebody no matter what pub I'm in.

I rather drinking on my own. I can decide to go to a different pub or go for something to eat any time I like. I can drink at my own pace all day/night.

In a group there's always going to be different people wanting to go to different pubs and not everyone will agree

Nemeses

Thread locked..

Now sorted. Don't be bringing up the dead!

Not associated with Boards.ie Moderators and Co.My word is not final and should probably be ignored

Nothing I like more than having a pint by myself. I'll often sit and read a book our do some writing our just relax and chat to the barman or other patrons. It helps that the pub I like most is very welcoming and you can easily lose an afternoon in there.

discus

Deleted User wrote: »

Nothing I like more than having a pint by myself. I'll often sit and read a book our do some writing our just relax and chat to the barman or other patrons. It helps that the pub I like most is very welcoming and you can easily lose an afternoon in there.

Ah, the art of a lost afternoon... Thank **** its payday today

Divergent

Kick back. Sip Guinness. Relax. I'm good.

candy-gal1

Dont see the problem in this, although some of my friends would differ :rolleyes:, going to the movies, pub, cafe, restaurant or even a gig can be as much fun on your own imho

A gig is the only thing id be a teeny bit off about going to on my own, unless it was someone I absolutly loved and no-one else would go, just because my general best times Ive had at gigs are going with mates, or a mate , or the Bf

I just think sometimes, when people say "your going to the cinema/pub/cafe etc on your own?!" :eek:
Well, tbh if its a choice of going on my own or waiting around for someone to go with me and either missing it cos no-one would go or going with someone I dont really get on with just for the sake of "company" , Ill take going on my own!

Going on my own probably wouldnt be first choice to do, but it definitly wouldnt stop me from doing what I want

petronius

I would certainly go to a gig on my own!
A restaurant is a bit more weird when the waiter/waitress removes the other table setting you just feel like billy no mates
A Pub i would go to on my own and have.

old hippy

Never had a problem with it; when you move to London it's a way of getting to know people. Of course, there are other ways. Doesn't have to be the pub. I did it back in Ireland and never had any problems.

Irishcrx

Yeah I do it all the time when I'm travelling for work and free in the evenings, sometimes I want to just relex on my own other times I get chatting to people. Nothing wrong with it, I think a lot of people are just intimidated going out by themselves or talking to stranger , their people as well like..

Balmed Out

I would often go in and watch a match or half match on my own but I would find it weird heading for a night out on my own unless im travelling.

petronius

I would much rather sit in a pub half watching a football match, flickin through the paper or a book, and probably get chatting to someone, rather than not go out and feel self conscience.

Yes when travelling it is very easy to pop into a bar on your own, you know you are a visitor so it is not that weird you are on your own.
I have had great chats over a cuppa coffee or drink when on business travel, and it is actually a good way to find out about a place since they may have visited something there you should.

The One Doctor

Yep, every now and then. I occassionally strike up a breif conversation with someone, but I'm usually there to read a good book and enjoy the food and drink.

Spanish Eyes

No two ways about it, it's easier for men than women to go to a bar alone.

The sports on TV? Yes, throw yer eyes on that. How's the World Cup, Newcastle, whatever doing? Get the drift? I know lots of women like football, but not that many.

Lechers are very rarely women, hitting on women sitting in a pub on their own.

But I as a woman, have gone to pubs on my own. Daytime mostly, for a coffee, or sometimes a glass or two of vino. Read the paper and so on. But it's boring. Well the eyes of the daytime male drinkers are...boring into to you always.

Unless they're already drunk...then they fall off the bar stool when they try to hit on you.

Sad.

Greenmachine

Sat down in a bar years when I was travelling, staying in hostels etc. I had an hour to kill before meeting some local friends. I brought the paper to practice my spanish comprehension. A group of girls invited me to join, told me the best way to practice my comprehension was to speak with them. I didn't argue, not sure the same would work in Dublin or not. But worth a try.

J Mysterio

bluewolf wrote: »

5 years and some closed accounts later, still a pressing concern...

3 years again.

Spanish Eyes

Might be an historic thread, but still very relevant today.

Be a very boring world if the only people going to bars on their own were alcos or leches.

I doubt many fall into those categories. Lots of people just like their own company and that is so empowering.

This thing about always having to be in a crowd is boring. Look at us, we are so popular. Blx.

J Mysterio

Sometimes you find yourself in a situation where, if you don't go out on your own, you're not going out.

I've gone out on my own many times and had many great nights. I travelled on my own too, which was brilliant.

That was all mostly years ago though. It's all about your mindset and your outlook.