Worst/funniest/stupid comebacks/insults youve heard

foundry

I was recently in my local supermarkt at the till, there was an argument in front of me between an elderly gent and some scangers.

The young scangers were insulting said eldery gent when he replied:

" I'll see ya outside in a minute and I'll sh1t down ye'r ARSE!"

Adamcp898

yore ma

Aldebaran

Adamcp898 wrote: »

yore ma

worst/funniest/stupid comebacks

So that's two out of three anyway.

PurpleBerry

The Spice Girls.

Stupid comeback.

Adamcp898

Aldebaran wrote: »

worst/funniest/stupid comebacks

So that's two out of three anyway.

Well I meant it more as a double entendre considering this is AH

towel401

Worst comeback "No, you're a towel"

Sharpshooter

foundry wrote: »

I was recently in my local supermarkt at the till, there was an argument in front of me between an elderly gent and some scangers.
The young scangers were insulting said eldery gent when he replied:
" I'll see ya outside in a minute and I'll **** down ye'r ARSE!"

Adamcp898 wrote: »

yore ma

Aldebaran wrote: »

worst/funniest/stupid comebacks
So that's two out of three anyway.

And one will become non existent soon enough.
/No prizes for guessing which one.

bluto63

If you don't shut up I'm going to take your **** and shove it in my mouth!

syklops

Can we come up with an approved scheme for swearing on boards? I am fed up of trying to decypher ****, ********* and ******. Whats wrong with using sh1t? or fook, or my personal favourite feck? At least use the first f****** letter, that gives a clue, but counting asterisks, and trying to decrypt the words they could make up is head wrecking.

foundry

syklops wrote: »

Can we come up with an approved scheme for swearing on boards? I am fed up of trying to decypher ****, ********* and ******. Whats wrong with using sh1t? or fook, or my personal favourite feck? At least use the first f****** letter, that gives a clue, but counting asterisks, and trying to decrypt the words they could make up is head wrecking.

i agree syklops

its edited..

any comebacks or what??:D

FruitLover

syklops wrote: »

Can we come up with an approved scheme for swearing on boards? I am fed up of trying to decypher ****, ********* and ******.

Go ******** * *** ****** *********** yourself.

Twilightning

"I'LL BLEEDIN' BATTER YE!"

" YE COULDN'T BATTER A SAUSAGE!"

minidazzler

Sharpshooter wrote: »

And one will become non existent soon enough.
/No prizes for guessing which one.

In fairness now he was answering the thread. That is a Crappy comeback.


I had a friend go all GnySgt. Hartman on my one day screaming "I'll rip your head off and **** down your neck." He was being serious, so I laughed at him and gave him a dead-arm just to annoy him!!

Adamcp898

Adamcp898 wrote: »

yore ma

Reminds me of school
Me:Your ma is a slut
Dave:Good comeback)*rolls eyes*
Me:I want your ma to give me my come back, the dirty whore

Aldebaran

Adamcp898 wrote: »

Well I meant it more as a double entendre considering this is AH

I'd like to double her entendre.

missbaker

In the pub one night getting drinks from the bar and this minger comes up to me and says 'I would ya' . .or something equally as lame. Calmly turned around and said 'I wouldn't use u for practise' and turned back to the bar. Bit of a cheer from surrounding people

dvemail

"Your Face

sexmag

on the nitelink home and a guy in a strange Hawaiian shirt is chating up this girl when her drunk ugly mate comes over and says to the guy "that is the stupidest looking shirt iv ever seen" trying to be funny when the guy quickly replies"thats great and if i throw a stick will you go away??" which is quickly follow by cheers from the bus and a couple of high fives for the guy

Sharpshooter

minidazzler wrote: »

I had a friend go all GnySgt. Hartman on my one day screaming "I'll rip your head off and **** down your neck." He was being serious, so I laughed at him and gave him a dead-arm just to annoy him!!

Help me understand ^^^.

Latchy

Dead arm is when you punch somebody in the shoulder/ arm

Unless it's morphed into and taken on a whole new meaning ? :eek:

Armin_Tamzarian

Oh yeah? Well the Jerkstore called and they're all outta you...

Armin_Tamzarian

A teacher in school was giving aload of grief to some kid.

Kid says: I know where you live.

Teacher: Ha, well I don't care because I've got a very big dog.

Kid: Does your dog catch petrol-bombs?

Latchy

What a load of ghey !

missbaker

Anothe good one to use for unwelcome advance from drunk men is
'I wouldn't get up on u to paint the ceiling'

Ruu_Old

A classic but overused, "yeah? so's your face!"

Those trying to use swearwords just use the [NOFILTER] tag.

Fighting Irish

syklops wrote: »

Can we come up with an approved scheme for swearing on boards? I am fed up of trying to decypher ****, ********* and ******. Whats wrong with using sh1t? or fook, or my personal favourite feck? At least use the first f****** letter, that gives a clue, but counting asterisks, and trying to decrypt the words they could make up is head wrecking.

they just need to get rid of the word filter all together, its pointless and stupid. i probably learned the word "fook" around the age of 12ish, i don't see how it would make me any different to someone who found out about it at age 6 or at age 18

Insect Overlord

"That's what she said!"

brennaldo

me and my mates always say this,

so's your face

Armin_Tamzarian

Ye're all fooping baxterds...

Sharpshooter

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Help me understand ^^^.

latchyco wrote: »

Dead arm is when you punch somebody in the shoulder/ arm

latchyco, you above all know that as a wrestling fan, I know well what a dead arm is, it was the rest of it that left me :p

Latchy

Sharpshooter wrote: »

latchyco, you above all know that as a wrestling fan, I know well what a dead arm is, it was the rest of it that left me :p

I had you in mind SS and of course knew you would know what a dead arm was .I was just reliving my schoolhood days ( ooch )



which is why I didn't quote you

Sharpshooter

latchyco wrote: »

I had you in mind SS and of course knew you would know what a dead arm was .I was just reliving my schoolhood days ( ooch )
which is why I didn't quote you

But, you still haven't explained.:(

/am I really the only one who got lost in the middle of his post.

Latchy

Sharpshooter wrote: »

But, you still haven't explained.:(

/am I really the only one who got lost in the middle of his post.

Ah right SS .Sorry

I am thinking the GnySgt. Hartman in question was the guy fron the movie ' Full Metal Jacket ' altough I also thought the comback wasn't to funny either

Howzat ?

Abi

latchyco wrote: »

What a load of ghey !

Dennis the Stone

A few years back my housemate insulted the other weird guy living with us and he said: "Suck my mother's fuc*ing dick"

Overheal

Well IM rubber and YOUR glue.....May I sniff you?

gandhi123

"...at least i can prematurely ejaculate!!"


My best mate actually used this in a slagging match... goin back 6 years or so , but he still gets stick bout it ha:pac:

Adiboo

Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »

Oh yeah? Well the Jerkstore called and they're all outta you...

Oh yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!

FlyOver

Adiboo wrote: »

Oh yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!

Oh yeah? Well she has *insert nasty STD/STI here*!

Armin_Tamzarian

Adiboo wrote: »

Oh yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!

Yeah? Well the Zoo called, they said you were due back in your cage at 6...

golden gal

Heard somebody slagging a girl in a night club and they said "If that girls skirt was any shorter I could be her gynecologist!!"

Wibbs

Drunken woman* to me, "so do you want my number then?". Me, "naw it's ok I got off the gents wall earlier".




*she was a right battleaxe and I don't mean looks. Insulting all and sundry for the night, got an itch in her pants and figured I could scratch it. Horny as I was I reckoned I'd get an itch if I allowed her to climb on

thebigcheese22

Wibbs wrote: »

Drunken woman* to me, "so do you want my number then?". Me, "naw it's ok I got off the gents wall earlier".




*she was a right battleaxe and I don't mean looks. Insulting all and sundry for the night, got an itch in her pants and figured I could scratch it. Horny as I was I reckoned I'd get an itch if I allowed her to climb on

Noice!!! :cool:

deadhead13

Cycling down a quiet suburban road in london a few years back - a car backs out of a drive, shoots straight accross the road causing me to swerve and brake hard.

Naturally my response was - "WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING YOU ****** IDIOT"

Women driver rolls down her window and asks - "Do you pay road tax?"

NorthernRock

To woman:

"I wouldn't get up on ya to hop over a wall"

"You've a face on ya like a shotgun suicide"

"You don't sweat much for a fat bird"

norwegianwood

you there with your big.....socks.....and your arse hanging out!:rolleyes:

Amaru KGB

You have a face like a melted wellie

You have a face like a bucket of crabs

Armin_Tamzarian

You're Ma's so fat...
Willy freed her...

WoollyRedHat

We'll call them Trevor and Rodger

Trevor is rather tall, Rodger is rather quiet.

Trevor:Be careful, don't use up all your words tonight!

A while passes

Trevor: Woah that firework was big!

Rodger: Not as big as you though!


Well I laughed.

YER_MA

my mates down at the canal slagging off each others mothers
then I heard this comeback:

that's inappropriate...yeah...LIKE YER MA'S CHEST HAIR

hahah

banshee_bones

"YOUR MOTHER!"
repsonse
"YOUR MOTHERS FACE!"
response
YOUR GRANDMOTHERS FACE"
response
"My Grandmother is dead."