Wife working away from home

LegacyUser

My wife may need to take up a job that will make commuting difficult 1:30 mins by car each way. We are considering her renting a room near the work place and maybe staying some time in Dublin.

At the moment we travel to work together (we work in different places though).

Just wondering if there are any married people/long term partners that are doing a similar thing. How is it working out??

Thanks,
barman101

username123

Theres a fella in my job doing it.

He spends 3 or 4 nights a week in Dublin (I believe he stays with the in-laws though, doesnt rent).

He said it can be difficult but that it works out for them. Its definitely easier than the commute was because then he was knackered and grumpy by the time he got home in the evening.

It probably depends on each individual relationship how well it works out.

Mena

I commuted to Dublin from Kildare for well over 5 years, up until the changes to the M/N7 it could take me two hours each way. Not ideal but I never thought about getting a place to stay in Dublin, perhaps I was just used to travelling long distances (well, for long periods may be more accurate).

Personally I'd prefer the travelling to not seeing my Wife for 4 days a week but if you're both up for it I can't see why it would be an issue.

CTU_Agent

im married, and my commute is sometimes 2 hrs by car each way...its no big deal really..surprisingly you get used to it...

jimmycrackcorm

I do it every week. We now spend more quality time together at the weekends that makes up for it.

MagicMarker

A 90 minute commute is hardly worth renting a room for. What a complete waste of money tbh.

Sure it takes some people that long to commute just within Dublin itself!

cantdecide

She could end up spending 60mins travelling within Dublin. A commute isn't the end of the world. I used to do 90mins each way

LegacyUser

I am not married but in a 4 year relationship and doing this. I work from home 2 days a week and in the office in another town 3 days. So I only have to stay overnight 2 nights away from my partner.

For us it has been a good thing but that is because we were not living together full-time before it started, so this is actually a step up from only seeing eachother at the weekends. However I still think it can be very positive. It's like a little celebration every week when I get home and we have dinner and catch up. In a way it's as if the regular reminder that we are both making an effort every week to be there for each other actually strengthens us.

Talk to your wife about how you would both spend the time apart. Do you spend every evening together currently anyway? It might be good to have activities on a couple of those nights that will keep you both busy and feeling positive (sport, yoga, whatever) so that you are not both sitting in your separate towns crying down the phone every night

EPM

i've been doing this since the summer. I'm from Cork but was working in Clonmel, about 80mins so i got a place up there. Came home mid-week. Now living in Waterford, about 105 mins home. Since then my girlfriend has moved to Galway to do a masters. Again, i'm renting here. Its so much easier than a long commute everday when you often need to work long hours in a site office. It means you see your partner less, but it also makes the little time you do have together all the better. Personally i dont mind doing the long commute-i did it everyday some weeks as my mother was ill but it makes you tired by the time the weekend comes so any quality time at the weekend is impeded on then

axel rose

barman- The biggest problem you and your wife have is the fact that you have had it too good. Both myself and my husband commute at least an hour and a half each way-in different directions!
My husband has a 9-5 job, whereas I work 25 hour shifts. As a result my 10 month old also commutes 3 hours a day!

I think that the thoughts of this commute is worse than the reality. You get to enjoy the 'me time', it also gives you the opportunity to sing along to the radio once in a while. I suggest your wife give it a go for 6 months.

dragona

My husband used to commute from Mullingar to SLIGO -yes, Sligo -each day,leaving at midday, and coming back at 1 or 2 am. We decided after about three weeks that it was impossible, so 2/3 nights a week he used to sleep at a friends house. Didn't work out, mainly for me.Not happy AT ALL.

A 90 minute commute is nothing, and certainly would not justify renting a room!

Setun

Jeez, I travel 2 hours each way into college, and you definitely get used to it. Not worth renting in Dublin tbh, you'd nearly be spending your weekly wage on it.

LegacyUser

dragona wrote: »

A 90 minute commute is nothing, and certainly would not justify renting a room!

I have to disagree.

A 90 minute commute to work and another back adds another 15 hours to your working week.... or adding an extra 37.5% of hours onto your working week. Plus the money she presently pays for petrol.

I know it's the norm for a lot of people but it is not nothing. It's 3 hours you could be doing something other than sitting in a car. I have never understood how people do it - the longest I've ever commuted was 50 minutes (train and walk) and I found that madness.

With rents falling, you could probably pick up something cheap and close to her work place.

You could further reduce the rent if she only stayed weekdays and returned to your place for weekends- there are plenty of rooms to rent and there are many people who would like extra income but not have a tenant staying there at weekends.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies. Personally if it was me doing the hour and half travelling I wouldn't have a problem with it but since its my wife I think she would find it tiring. I'm surprised to see how many people actually commute large distances.

How flexible are companies when they are dealing with commuting people? Just with traffic as it is... The place she would probably be working is in Cherrywood Dublin on the m50 carpark..

axel rose

where are you travelling from? TBH flexibility can really depend on the type of job and the company itself. Yea my boss and workmates can be understanding the odd time, but my being late is rare. The way I see it is that its my choice to live where I do so the people I work with should not have to be put out by it.
But in saying that most people are reasonable and if your wife can start her job and lets say 7am as opposed to 8 or whatever then maybe. However I wouldnt ask for favours on my first day. Your wife may find that her commute is nothing special among her collegues.

I dream to live in a world where my husband and I work and live in the same county.

jim o doom

yeah a mate of mine is up and down from Wexford town to Deansgrange every day - it sure takes it's toll on both his mind from the extra hours & his wallet, from paying rent both in wexford and insane fuel costs from all the driving;

He's gonna rent a room up in Dublin in another friends at normal rent a room rates & he is going to be saving at the very least 200 euros a month - she's gonna rent a room up in Wexord also.. bummer, but it's only for a while..

personally even an hour either way would drive me mental.

LegacyUser

I live in dublin and it takes me an hour to get to work. Is it really worth spending all that extra money to rent a room?