20 year old virgin-what is wrong with me?

KieranKennedy

Hi, I am twenty and in second year in college. I have never had a girlfriend, and amongst my friends I am alone in this, but I have never mention that I am a virgin. They all presume that I am not different to them, ie that I have had sex on many occasions. I am aware that my position is not the norm, and I am wondering am I alone on this

LegacyUser

ur totally normal - i was 24 when i got my first boyfriend and had sex. whats the rush!!! i don't care for peer pressure to jump in the sack with the first guy i meet. i was glad i waited.

AARRRGH

There is nothing wrong with you.

Everyone's life moves at a different pace, and there is no need to rush losing your virginity. Nearly *everyone* wishes their first time was with someone else.

Unless you are the hunchback, I am absolutely confident it is only a matter of time before you have sex. Stop worrying about it. You're not weird.

Ruu_Old

Eh 20 isn't as bad as you think, as least not where I come from. Though it seems that in some areas, people are having sex a lot earlier these days. Do you go out much when not doing school work? Have a bit more confidence in yourself.

LegacyUser

Of course you're not alone. I was in my 2nd year of college before I slept with someone for the first time or had a boyfriend (and no, I'm not bad looking - I was just very shy). Haven't looked back since.

You just gotta not think about sex, gfs etc. Just enjoy yourself and focus on becoming a well rounded social person. These things 99 times in 100 sort themselves out. The most important thing is that you're happy in yourself then take it from there.

Dudess

There are quite often threads here titled "30-year-old virgin"... seriously, it's absolutely no cause for concern. I promise.

Blisterman

You're not alone. I know plenty of people older than you, who are still virgins. I wouldn't get hung up on it. Best thing to do, is to live your life as well as possible, Have fun, chat with strangers and eventually, you'll find a girl who wants to come along on the ride.

Dob74

Dont worry about it. Alot of people I know did not have sex til there mid 20's or later. Despite there bullsh;t stories. Wait til you have have a long term girlfriend you will be longing for the days when you where free and single.

Tech3

I was in the exact same position as you about when I was 20 worrying about sex, girlfriends, pretending i wasnt a virgin etc.. Its just part and parcel of life, the older you get the wiser you will become and the girlfriends will come piling onto to you trust me!!! Enjoy the single life while you can!!!

Dudess

A lot of the guys you know who actually aren't virgins would have lost their virginity by just sticking into whatever girl they could, in order to get their cherry popped. Not everyone is into losing their virginity that way and it doesn't make you abnormal - it just makes you more inclined to do what feels right to you rather than doing stuff you feel pressured into.

LegacyUser

20 is fine. I only recently lost mine at 25 and believe me when I say im the envy of every guy I know right now when they see the girl im with!! Its not as if I was ever some weirdo that nobody would touch, i was just a little shy around women up until now and for various reasons opportunities just didnt present themselves. Every year from when I was about 19 I would say, "ok, Im gonna lose it this year" but the year would pass and I was still a virgin. It became such a weight on my shoulder that a couple of times I met someone and tried to do it I suffered from the pressure and couldnt get it up. So instead of letting it consume me and become this chip on my shoulder I just accepted that it would happen one day when I met someone I felt comfortable with. It wasnt all it was made out to be in the end so at 20 i wouldnt worry too much. Alot of people talk too much and arent doing it as much as they say.

Overheal

KieranKennedy wrote: »

Hi, I am twenty and in second year in college. I have never had a girlfriend, and amongst my friends I am alone in this, but I have never mention that I am a virgin. They all presume that I am not different to them, ie that I have had sex on many occasions. I am aware that my position is not the norm, and I am wondering am I alone on this

Erm, your position is norm. I'd say half of everyone you meet in school or college, very potentially, is a virgin. Just go around and ask. Hell my housemate didnt lose his till he was 24 after he met his now first girlfriend. And I lost mine to a mind warping bitch so you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Frankly, you're only 20. Its not something to worry about. Plenty of life to live. You can either look at it like "I can die tomorrow omg!" where its a problem, or "I have so much to look forward to!" in which case it shouldnt even arise as a worry, it'll happen when it happens.

LegacyUser

I know it seems like this huge deal at the moment, and it probably seems even more so for guys cos of the whole bravado thing associated with it. But honestly, try not to dwell on it too much. I went the whole way through college without sex- it didn't have to be that way, I just never felt comfortable enough with anyone to go through with it.

Anyway, at 25 I finally took the plunge with the person I'm still going out with 2 years later. I'm so glad now I waited (and not in the whole "I waited for The One" kinda way)- I mean even if we don't stay together forever, I'm glad I didn't do it just for the sake of it.

Then again, maybe I was in a different situation to you in that I wasn't looking to actually have sex. Still though, 20 is really young, and don't believe all the ones who say they're at it all the time. Talk is cheap.

LegacyUser

seriously you are really not alone i didn't sleep with anyone till 3rd year in college so happy i waited. to be honest its fun and all but its really no big deal it doesn't change or make you feel any different. i was like you my friends assumed i was't a virgin and i never told them otherwise. so think about the amount of people who are actually virgins and no one is admitting to it ridiculous!I know for sure a good few people who are virgins ages around 20 21 and to be honest i would have assumed they defo weren't vrgins till i found out! so basically id advise you to relax about the whole thing and it will happen for you :-)

kingtut

What is wrong with you? Thinking there is something wrong or abnormal with being a virgin at 20 is what is wrong!!

It will happen eventually The last thing you should be doing is comparing yourself to others.

LegacyUser

I am a guy, lost mine at 16 to someone i didn't want to be with and regretted it for years when i was with the girl i wanted to be my first as well as me hers!


don't rush, sex isn't the be all and end all like all the boys make it out to be, all it comes with is worry most of the time about sti's and pregnancy.

Just live your life and enjoy it!

tbh

KieranKennedy wrote: »

Hi, I am twenty and in second year in college. I have never had a girlfriend, and amongst my friends I am alone in this, but I have never mention that I am a virgin. They all presume that I am not different to them, ie that I have had sex on many occasions. I am aware that my position is not the norm, and I am wondering am I alone on this

how do you know you're the only virgin in your group of mates? You're lying to them about it, how do you know they are not either? Man, I lost mine at 15, to a girl I barely knew, and the story got out in my school. I had lads - you know the lads - the "cool" lads - sidle up to me and ask me what sex was like. These are the guys who came in every monday with stories of all the girls they'd been with - all lies! So, don't worry about what other people think, statistics are not reliable.

AnnieB82

I really wish I would've known about boards.ie back when I was 20. I didn't have sex until I was 24 (2 yrs ago) and up until then I thought I was a freak/loser. Looking back - as another poster said I'm glad I waited for the right person. At 20 I don't think you have anything to worry about - that's still very young, and some girls in the same boat as you might be glad your inexperienced...

LegacyUser

I was 21 and my bf was 20 when we met. neither of us had been with anyone else and we are so glad!

20 is so young to worry about that. Think of all the STDs on the rise and thank yourself that you waited!

lee_arama

Not a tap wrong with ya lad. More power to yer elbow.

No problems admitting I was 20 before I took the plunge, and not with the girl I wanted to either.

Just take yer ease and sure if it happens it happens. Screw what anyone else might think or say, they're just jealous that you have an opportunity to make a considered decision.

glezo

KieranKennedy wrote: »

Hi, I am twenty and in second year in college. I have never had a girlfriend, and amongst my friends I am alone in this, but I have never mention that I am a virgin. They all presume that I am not different to them, ie that I have had sex on many occasions. I am aware that my position is not the norm, and I am wondering am I alone on this

arent you the guy that post a thread on another area about going to meet a girl at the spire and when you seen her size you turned and litterly hid away..

if this is the case im not surprised your a virgin

WhiskeyGoblin

The only thing wrong with you
is that your questining yourself
Go with what you want and dont feel the pressure just becasue everybody else has done it
Life isnt a race to see who gets done everything the fastest

towel401

kingtut wrote: »

What is wrong with you? Thinking there is something wrong or abnormal with being a virgin at 20 is what is wrong!!

It will happen eventually The last thing you should be doing is comparing yourself to others.

+1

cheoo7Lo

KieranKennedy wrote: »

Hi, I am twenty and in second year in college. I have never had a girlfriend, and amongst my friends I am alone in this, but I have never mention that I am a virgin. They all presume that I am not different to them, ie that I have had sex on many occasions. I am aware that my position is not the norm, and I am wondering am I alone on this

dont say that.. im 21 and still a virgin, never had a boyfriend (not for the lack of offers.. ha ha, joking) and i consider myself happy and pretty normal.. im sure it will hppen someday for us both..!!

Bottle_of_Smoke

I'd say lower your standards and get it over with. First time I did it it was crap but glad I got it out of the way now.

I'm in first year college but about 2 years older than most guys I'm mates with, they're mainly 21/22. Seems to me the vast majority are non-virgins, you can tell the ones who are because they never approach the topic of sex whereas the rest of the guys can talk about it comfortably. Its not bravado just discussing different experiences/anecdotes. I think it would be a bit sh*t to miss out on this so I wouldn't bother waiting for that "special someone"

If you're living at home try get chatting to girls who live on campus and the like.

Don't take it too personally, you're definitely not the only one, just work on yourself and your confidence and you'll be taking someone home soon enough

Affable

Cease perceiving that there is anything wrong with you and there will cease to be anything wrong with you. Don't worry about other's criteria for so-called 'normality'

Joey the lips

Dont be listening to stats from people that might ad their own bravado. Your perfectly normal. In fact when you do meet the right person it think its a far greater thing to share your first time we someone you love rather than a mistake. Have a look at the "first time" thread in the ladies lounge it will give you an idea of regrets which might help you relax a bit.

star-pants

You're far from abnormal mister -- I was 23 when I first slept with my then boyfriend. I wasn't going to be pushed into it before I was ready (a guy had tried before). There's no age limit on kissing/sleeping with someone/etc. Some people go out & do it to get it out of their system and sometimes regret it later on. I really wouldn't worry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you, you're just like the rest of us. Take your time & it'll happen when you're ready, don't feel pressurised by how many of your friends you *think* have slept with someone.

Munster_Gal

Don't be worrying about it...... Trust me you'll have more than enough to be worrying about when you start dating. Just enjoy being single and don't worry about what everyone else is doing! You'll only drive yourself mad. There's nothing wrong with you.

Nitxteha

I agree with the others, that's totally normal. Don't get any pressure from other people. Things happen when they have to happen. Don't try to rush anything. Live your life and enjoy it and let things come naturally.

jackdaw

nothing wrong with you mate ....


I wont say what age i was .... but as Billy connolly said (and its true for me too ) - I was Tatooed first!!!

prinz

Nothing is wrong with you mate. But there will be something wrong if you get a complex about it. Chill out man! Enjoy college. Best years ever.

Sofaspud

jackdaw wrote: »

but as Billy connolly said (and its true for me too ) - I was Tatooed first!!!

Me too!

I was 20 for my first, and my first thought afterwards was "is that it?"

Seriously, not a big deal, or a deal at all. Your life doesn't change, you don't suddenly become a man and have all the wisdom in the world flow into you, you just stick an appendage into an orifice. No more.

brettdark

i was 20 too there is nothing too that

dceire

I'm a 21 year old virgin, so you've got a year on me

I used to be hung up about it in my late teens but now I'm in no great rush lose it. I'm just enjoying myself and hopefully I'll find the right person soon!

brettdark

how you do'en

LegacyUser

Like quite a few others have already said, the only thing wrong with you (based on your OP) is that you think it's abnormal to be a virgin at 20. Give it time. Wait for the right person. You won't regret waiting.

Silverfish

brettdark banned, one week.

barbiegirl

Have a look at the thread in the Ladies Lounge dealing with what age you were when you lost your virginity. It will set your mind at ease, as there were many older than you :-)

blankblank

Wouldnt worry about it if i where you,,,
I know a few girls who are still virgins and their well into their 20's.

Silverfish

Don't drag up old threads please.