Being Ugly...

AKfortyjimbob

Here goes: Im a pretty ugly guy, i have to cringe whenever i see my picture. Big nose, dumb shaped face:o. Thats my face . My body is decent, ive been doing some serious lifting for a few years, so that everytime i go to a club loads of people are all like " wow dude youre massive". Its a confidence boost i enjoy, but it doesnt actually make me any more confident.

Anyway im ugly. Im trying to improve my exterior as much as i can, but i feel that a good body cant really counteract my face.
Im fairly ugly, my greatest romantic achievement was snogging a pretty girl once in my life (23 years old) and then getting dumped shortly afterwards.

I know personality is an important factor, but its hard to be confident enough to even approach someone when you know you dont look good.

I dunno what to do. Im taking up kickboxing just so i can get some of that toughguy bravado. Maybe after enough sparring and getting punched in the face ill at least lose some of my fear. Then again that will be counterproductive in relation to my already less than bradpittian features.

im lost basicly.

AARRRGH

Forget the fighting nonsense; that's just... nonsense.

An ugly guy can look a lot better with good skin, nice clothes and a good haircut.

Do you make the most of your appearance?

AKfortyjimbob

Oh yeah i take good care of my skin, and try to dress fashionably, spend a decent amount of money on clothes too. I try to make myself look as good as possible.

How is fighting nonsense? Most of the fighters/ex fighters i know are all well confident and successful.

Queencake

If you're seeking the tough guy bravdo from kickboxing to attract girls then, jesus, that's the wrong way all together. I know that does nothing for me or any girls I know.

Chances are you aren't "ugly" unless your skin is covered in boils and you look like the elephantman or something.

You just need to realise that girls really do go for personality. Plus you say you've got a good body and that is always welcome.

The most important thing to feel better about yourself is to believe in yourself and put your best foot forward. Like the other poster said - take care of your skin, hair, clothing etc. But all that appearance stuff means nothing long term unless you come across as a happy confident, happy lad.

AARRRGH

I used to have a friend (he emigrated) who wasn't the best looking. It would be fair to say he was physically unattractive.

But he was outrageously confident, completely full of self-belief... and as a result, he had no problem picking up women.

So I reckon you could do yourself a lot of favours by ditching the negative self image and believing you are valuable.

Queencake

AKfortyjimbob wrote: »

Oh yeah i take good care of my skin, and try to dress fashionably, spend a decent amount of money on clothes too. I try to make myself look as good as possible.

How is fighting nonsense? Most of the fighters/ex fighters i know are all well confident and successful.

Fight if its something you really want to do but don't think it'll make you confident around girls. There's not a connection.

Dudess

Queencake wrote: »

Chances are you aren't "ugly" unless your skin is covered in boils and you look like the elephantman or something.

Agreed. OP, be honest: how would you compare to those poor guys? You've a big nose - so what? Plenty of attractive guys do. What do you mean by "dumb-shaped" face?

You just need to realise that girls really do go for personality.

Well to be fair, not always - especially when young (under 25 say). But yes, as we get older we value personality more than looks. Some of the guys I find sexy now, there's no way I'd have been into them when I was a teen/early 20-something.

Perhaps start off by going for older women?

Monkey61

As you say yourself personality IS a big factor! Well done for the working out, haircut, clothes and all that - once you have made the best of your appearance you are half way there.

Confidence is a big plus, but make sure that it is backed up by being an interesting person. Make sure you have loads to say for yourself, wide and varied interests, know how to listen and ask questions and a bit of humour too never goes astray. having a great body is brilliant, but a girl is going to lose interest unless you can back it up with good conversation too!

Queencake

Dudess wrote: »

Well to be fair, not always - especially when young (under 25 say). But yes, as we get older we value personality more than looks. Some of the guys I find sexy now, there's no way I'd have been into them when I was a teen/early 20-something.

Yeah - I was idealising it. Personality is more important the more mature/experienced you are. I was into pretty boys when I was younger (teens). I'm 21 now and I find myself much more interested in personality.

Tbh though if a girl only cares about looks then she's not worth your time imo. Another generalisation here but - guys tend to be worse culpits for this than girls.

OP you say the "romantic highlight" of your life was a kiss with a "pretty" girl - not a great girl but a "pretty" girl. So looks are clearly important to you. How important though? Be honest with yourself. Do you have high standards regarding looks ie. do you only have eyes for the stunners?

LegacyUser

reading this post makes me sad. to think that someone thinks they are ugly. can i jut say please think more of yourself - you are who you are and its not about how you look, cliche but its your personality that counts. whoever treats you on how you look is not worth knowing. believe in yourself and your abilities and you can do anything (anyone even haha) you like.

muboop1

AKfortyjimbob wrote: »

Oh yeah i take good care of my skin, and try to dress fashionably, spend a decent amount of money on clothes too. I try to make myself look as good as possible.

How is fighting nonsense? Most of the fighters/ex fighters i know are all well confident and successful.

depends on type of girl you want.
yeh theres a primative urge in "some" girls to want a protector etc...

but if you cannot back up with a personality meh...

also, you are doing it for the wrong reasons. it sounds almost like you are doing it just for bragging rights! and to pick up girls, it gives a kind of arrogance and that can be a horrible turnoff to some girls(turn on for some to though)

tbh i feel you are just as likely to get a girl now without the fighting as you are with! just talk to girls, they arent as shallow as guys in my experience!

John Mason

AARRRGH wrote: »

Forget the fighting nonsense; that's just... nonsense.

An ugly guy can look a lot better with good skin, nice clothes and a good haircut.

Do you make the most of your appearance?

sorry but if you are ugly, you are ugly.

why would you assume he hasnt got good skin, clothes and a hair cut? do you think ugly people dont take care of themselves?

in fairness i think brad pitt is ugly, i really dont get the who "wow" thing

uglyness is a state of mind, if you think you are ugly you will be ugly

a bit of the auld positive thinking and you will be away

seanybiker

ya dont need to do kickboxing to get a woman. I dont look the mae west and im going with a stunner. Just act yourself around women and ya be grand. Dont make it obvious ya want to get with them or whatever. I know its easier said than done but if you stop looking for a young one, one will come along then. Best of luck

LD 50

AKfortyjimbob wrote: »

Im fairly ugly, my greatest romantic achievement was snogging a pretty girl once in my life (23 years old) and then getting dumped shortly afterwards.

Think back to what you did and how you acted to score her. Try recreating that, and see what happens

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

sorry but if you are ugly, you are ugly.

uglyness is a state of mind, if you think you are ugly you will be ugly

a bit of the auld positive thinking and you will be away

What. you just contradicted yourself there completly.

AARRRGH

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

sorry but if you are ugly, you are ugly.

Sure, but you can make the most of yourself. Why just accept you're ugly and make stop making an effort?

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

in fairness i think brad pitt is ugly

Brad Pitt is not ugly. He may not be your type, but he is not ugly.

LegacyUser

do you wear glasses? If so, make sure to get really nice frames. I think having the right shaped frame can make a good difference for you face. If you wear contacts, you might consider wearing glasses instead. Nice ones can distract from less attractive facial features. It's worth spending a bit of money to go to a good glasses shop and let the assistants help you in choosing frames which flatter the face.

If you described the shape of your face maybe we could suggest which haircuts would look best. If you have a monobrow, fix it!