Change in confidence about body

LegacyUser

I am a young healthy woman who has always been happy with how my body looks. I sometimes go on the odd diet to lose weight whenever I've put on a few extra pounds around holidays, but lately I've had a sudden change in the way I see my body...
For some reason I want my breasts to be a lot larger in proportion to my body. My breasts are already quite big (in the DD region) but I have been obsessing with looking at myself in the mirror lately and I'm convinced they're not big enough.
My long term boyfriend tends to look at naked girls on the internet who would be the FHM/NUTS type, and I don't mind at all...But I'm starting to wonder if maybe this is subconsciously affecting me?
Anyone got any ideas? Or has this happened to anyone else before?

P.S. I know deep down inside that if I got implants I would probably look ridiculous, but i can't help but feel that my breasts need to be bigger.

Kevster

Hi,

I firmly believe that - yes - your boyfriend's viewing of his magazines is impacting negatively on you hear. However, the entire society is to blame for this problem too, because you are certainly not the only girl who is suffering. As a 26 year old male, let me assure you that 'big' is not beautiful, regarding breasts. Plus, those 'beautiful' ladies that are in magazines are not every guy's cup of tea. They are invariably air-brushed, have too much make-up on, and 'over' dress (or, rather under dress, if you get me).

I know that this is going to sound like nothing to you, but please think about the words that I'm about to say deeply/with though: Be happy with what you've got and don't ever let anyone else tell you that you are not important/beautiful.

Kevin

Klingon Hamlet

Whitebird wrote: »

I am a young healthy woman who has always been happy with how my body looks. I sometimes go on the odd diet to lose weight whenever I've put on a few extra pounds around holidays, but lately I've had a sudden change in the way I see my body...
For some reason I want my breasts to be a lot larger in proportion to my body. My breasts are already quite big (in the DD region) but I have been obsessing with looking at myself in the mirror lately and I'm convinced they're not big enough.
My long term boyfriend tends to look at naked girls on the internet who would be the FHM/NUTS type, and I don't mind at all...But I'm starting to wonder if maybe this is subconsciously affecting me?
Anyone got any ideas? Or has this happened to anyone else before?

P.S. I know deep down inside that if I got implants I would probably look ridiculous, but i can't help but feel that my breasts need to be bigger.

Hi

99% of blokes (including me) look at porn. It's not that you're lacking in any way, it's just a gu thing. However your feelings are understandable: I'd imagine it makes you fel like he's looking at something he's missing. Trust me he isn't.

He could however be more discreet about it. I don't know if you caught him looking or if he's blatant about it, but I personally wouldn't make it obvious. Most women (including yourself) are fine with it but it's not fair if it's a regular, in-your-face thing...

Just a thought: could it be that your losing confidence has slowed the sex life down a tad? Maybe if you and himself spend a little more quality time together, he wouldn't be having as much Him Time...I don't mean that as a criticism, I just mean maybe it's a vicious circle. He looks at porn, you're made to feel a little inadequate, you guys have less sex, he looks at porn even more, and on, and on...

Or maybe I'm way wrong!

PS DDs do not need to be made any bigger. From the sounds of it he's a lucky bloke haha!

Kevster

Your post is unrepresenting of the entire male population, Klingon Hamlet, and I have to mention this for Whitebird's sake.

Kevin

LegacyUser

Kevster wrote: »

Hi,

I firmly believe that - yes - your boyfriend's viewing of his magazines is impacting negatively on you hear. However, the entire society is to blame for this problem too, because you are certainly not the only girl who is suffering. As a 26 year old male, let me assure you that 'big' is not beautiful, regarding breasts. Plus, those 'beautiful' ladies that are in magazines are not every guy's cup of tea. They are invariably air-brushed, have too much make-up on, and 'over' dress (or, rather under dress, if you get me).

I know that this is going to sound like nothing to you, but please think about the words that I'm about to say deeply/with though: Be happy with what you've got and don't ever let anyone else tell you that you are not important/beautiful.

Kevin

I realise that the media in general could be affecting the way I see myself lately..I just think it's a little weird that it's only started to affect me now...
I just can't seem to get these thoughts out of my mind, and it's negatively impacting on the way I hold myself.... I don't feel pretty or feminine anymore...
I just wish that I knew the root cause of why this is happening to me at this stage of my life. I guess the best thing to do is try convince myself that I'm not ugly or too small.

Bottle_of_Smoke

It sounds like you're looking for an ideal shape, a body/breast ratio. I tihnk bigger breasts would make you look worse and theres a risk you'll gain more weight and then want bigger breasts. Just try lose the fat you put on.

I'd talk to a counsellor as well, just so you can think more clearly

cantdecide

Most guys will agree that big fake boobs are ugly 90+% of the time but I don't think that realising and acknowledging this will sway you.

Definitely talk to him about his viewing. Maybe you've spoken about it and gave him permission (for want of a better word) and feel you can't now change your mind. You can. I wouldn't be convinced it's very healthy for him to do this so blatantly. Maybe he also isn't being affectionate enough with you. You can tell him this too if it's the case. You probably feel on some level that he is cheating on you which would explain your newfound confidence issues.

scanlas

I don't think most guys find big boobs sexy, they find the shape of the boobs sexy. I don't know what your body looks like so I can't be very specific. Forget about a boob job anyway, your a DD!

puglover

Whitebird wrote: »

I am a young healthy woman who has always been happy with how my body looks. I sometimes go on the odd diet to lose weight whenever I've put on a few extra pounds around holidays, but lately I've had a sudden change in the way I see my body...
For some reason I want my breasts to be a lot larger in proportion to my body. My breasts are already quite big (in the DD region) but I have been obsessing with looking at myself in the mirror lately and I'm convinced they're not big enough.
My long term boyfriend tends to look at naked girls on the internet who would be the FHM/NUTS type, and I don't mind at all...But I'm starting to wonder if maybe this is subconsciously affecting me?
Anyone got any ideas? Or has this happened to anyone else before?

P.S. I know deep down inside that if I got implants I would probably look ridiculous, but i can't help but feel that my breasts need to be bigger.

Pity a bout you with your Double D's...Spare a thought for us little B cups

No seriously, it is just media & society in general. I sometimes think that I'd like bigger breasts but they're fine really an they fit my small frame. I'm sure yours are perfect too and with DD cups you are the envy of a lot of the little 'uns like me!

LegacyUser

I am exactly the same as you OP. I have a good figure, but somehow I can not feel it is 'correct' until I get a boob job. I dont want a boob job, my boyfriend does not want me to have a boob job, but yet, I know that I am not perfect the way I am.

My boobs are only a b to a c , I have a size 10 figure at the moment but am constantly in battle with myself to starve down to an 8 so my boobs will look correct with my figure.

Even then they still dont look like the models, babes etc standard. Its very depressing.

Men will always go 'oh you look lovely as you are' but then you catch em beatin the meat to some whippet thin fox with pneumatic boobs. So they obviously lie.

shellyboo

Unregistered wrote: »

Men will always go 'oh you look lovely as you are' but then you catch em beatin the meat to some whippet thin fox with pneumatic boobs. So they obviously lie.

Yes, it's a well-documented fact that men only like one exact type of girl.:rolleyes: They're MEN. They like all kinds of women and find all kinds of women sexy.

And a real woman that he can actually touch and feel will ALWAYS be sexier than one on a monitor, regardless of what she looks like.

kevmy

Unregistered wrote: »

Men will always go 'oh you look lovely as you are' but then you catch em beatin the meat to some whippet thin fox with pneumatic boobs. So they obviously lie.

As a guy I can safely say that most men would beat the meat to at least half the women who walk down the street if the say them half naked

Bottle_of_Smoke

Unregistered wrote: »

I am exactly the same as you OP. I have a good figure, but somehow I can not feel it is 'correct' until I get a boob job. I dont want a boob job, my boyfriend does not want me to have a boob job, but yet, I know that I am not perfect the way I am.

My boobs are only a b to a c , I have a size 10 figure at the moment but am constantly in battle with myself to starve down to an 8 so my boobs will look correct with my figure.

Even then they still dont look like the models, babes etc standard. Its very depressing.

Men will always go 'oh you look lovely as you are' but then you catch em beatin the meat to some whippet thin fox with pneumatic boobs. So they obviously lie.

Aw you poor thing, that really shouldn't be depressing you. I'll bet you've got a great body, Imagine how much worse it could be. I'm 5'7 but it doesn't depress me every time I hear a reference to tall, dark & handsome men. Did get to me when I was 16/17 but not at all now. Maybe talk to someone professional about why you fell like this about "perfect" women.

Gone Fishin

Hi there,
You definitely don't need implants for a start, unless you want to look like Lolo Ferrara (or whatever her name was). Everybody puts on weight, guys too but guys tend to be a little less self concious about the whole thing. The guys are right, most of us do look at porn and I can understand how that would reflect on you and make you feel bad. Talk to the other half about it. I'm sure you are beautiful and maybe just need to hear that more often from him to boost your confidence. Trying going naked occasionally around the house - when getting changed or just out of the shower - if he reacts less to you than he does to the porn, then you might have more of a problem! Thats my opinion. Hope it helps. PM.
GF.

LegacyUser

kevmy wrote: »

As a guy I can safely say that most men would beat the meat to at least half the women who walk down the street if the say them half naked

Yeh, I know they would of course, but if they had to choose between Giselle and Ms. Average of course its going to be Giselle. They will 'make do' with the ordinary but their masturabation and fantasy habits show us that us average women are not enough for them. So what men say and what they do are two different things.

I've yet to find a boyfriend getting all hot and bothered while clicking on 'lukewarm average bird on the street' or leafing through the pages of 'sort of attractive ordinary chick'

Its always girls with stunning faces, skinny bodies, big boobs [yes preferably natural] perfect skin, long thick hair.

Sure men find all kinds sexy, but as a rule they TRULY desire the image of the perfect.

Its the ones that take your breath away that they fantasise about!

Gone Fishin

I have to disagree with you there. Maybe it is just me but I think that all of these FHM/Nuts girls are not reality! I used to help out when a friend of mine owned a photo studio, trust me - all of these model types are not what you think without make up or first thing in the morning! I think these type of magazines have a lot to answer for in terms of guys attitudes! Also when you are in bed, the last thing you want is some stick insect with air bags, its much nicer having a something nice to hold on to (that must sound terrible!). For me personally, it would be Drew Barrymore ahead of any super model or anyone else in this world!

Alarums

Unregistered wrote: »

Yeh, I know they would of course, but if they had to choose between Giselle and Ms. Average of course its going to be Giselle. They will 'make do' with the ordinary but their masturabation and fantasy habits show us that us average women are not enough for them. So what men say and what they do are two different things.

I've yet to find a boyfriend getting all hot and bothered while clicking on 'lukewarm average bird on the street' or leafing through the pages of 'sort of attractive ordinary chick'

Its always girls with stunning faces, skinny bodies, big boobs [yes preferably natural] perfect skin, long thick hair.

Sure men find all kinds sexy, but as a rule they TRULY desire the image of the perfect.

Its the ones that take your breath away that they fantasise about!

Very good post. It's true too, men tend to crack one off over women who have the type of looks that would get them into FHM rather than Readers Wives. But there's nothing wrong with that. It's natural that we would fantasize about the type of women with whom we wouldn't have a chance in real life, whether thats Megan Fox or Charlize Theron or whoever. I think if FHM did a photoshoot with 'sort of attractive ordinary chick', their circulation would drop dramatically. There is no way men could live up to womens fantasies either though. Fantasy is harmless, it's just escapism.

cantdecide

Unregistered wrote: »

Yeh, I know they would of course, but if they had to choose between Giselle and Ms. Average of course its going to be Giselle. They will 'make do' with the ordinary but their masturabation and fantasy habits show us that us average women are not enough for them. So what men say and what they do are two different things.

I've yet to find a boyfriend getting all hot and bothered while clicking on 'lukewarm average bird on the street' or leafing through the pages of 'sort of attractive ordinary chick'

Its always girls with stunning faces, skinny bodies, big boobs [yes preferably natural] perfect skin, long thick hair.

Sure men find all kinds sexy, but as a rule they TRULY desire the image of the perfect.

Its the ones that take your breath away that they fantasise about!

You will never truly know what your boyfriend sees in you. He is probably crazy about things and traits that you probably don't even know you possess. . Ask him what he loves about you. I bet you'll be surprised. Things that you could never get from some airbrushed slapper in a splat mag. The real good stuff I like to call it. Not the quantifiable physical things.

He might have a high sex drive and like to get riled up and rub one out to dirty pictures but you don't really believe it's as fulfilling as having a perfectly lovely girlfriend. I think it's a bit insensitive a thing to do so blatantly in front of you. If he knew how insecure it made you feel, he would probably stop. This is first thing you should do. In no uncertain terms tell him to keep it to himself.

kevmy

Unregistered wrote: »

Yeh, I know they would of course, but if they had to choose between Giselle and Ms. Average of course its going to be Giselle. They will 'make do' with the ordinary but their masturabation and fantasy habits show us that us average women are not enough for them. So what men say and what they do are two different things.

I've yet to find a boyfriend getting all hot and bothered while clicking on 'lukewarm average bird on the street' or leafing through the pages of 'sort of attractive ordinary chick'

Its always girls with stunning faces, skinny bodies, big boobs [yes preferably natural] perfect skin, long thick hair.

Sure men find all kinds sexy, but as a rule they TRULY desire the image of the perfect.

Its the ones that take your breath away that they fantasise about!

Personally wouldn't be a big fan of Giselle but whatever.

I actually prefer 'average' girls to FHM style girls but then you don't get too many magazines doing a photoshoot with 'average' girls. And if they did they would probably look just as good as the FHM girls. I mean with their own makeup artists, hairdresser, photographers etc. and some post picture touch ups it's not that hard to look like they do.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Gone Fishin

Look, if its causing that much bother to any of the girls, send me a picture, if I can knock one out to it, I will tell you! That should clear the whole matter up!!!! LOL!!!

Beruthiel

Gone Fishin wrote: »

Look, if its causing that much bother to any of the girls, send me a picture, if I can knock one out to it, I will tell you! That should clear the whole matter up!!!! LOL!!!

Banned

Libertine2002

The objects of most males fantasies are physical attributes, breasts, arse, face etc. And when men are aroused by unrealistic representations of this it can be very frustrating for their partners. The bodies you see in these magazines are 99.9% UNOBTAINABLE!!! So please don't waste your time, your body, your energy, trying to achieve it. These images are on the most part computer enhanced and un-natural. An interesting parallel to this is the way males are portrayed in media which is aimed at women. Certain magazines and TV programmes aimed at a female demographic depict these ultra sensitive, super intelligent men which has a similar effect on women as a scantily clad large breasted woman has on a man. This makes men feel insecure too. The problem is not with you or him, its with popular media portraying unrealistic situations and convincing you that you can achieve it. You just can't. Not even the models you see in the magazines can achieve it, not without a team of make up artists, some strategic lighting, some plastic surgery and a computer wizard at least. Besides, I personally think those women tend to look cheap and trampy. That's ok for a "one night stand" fantasy but is that really a part of your boyfriend that you want to appeal to? Fantasies should remain fantasies, don't make it a long-term reality.