Phobic of the dark!

af_thefragile

And it really really sucks!
Just the other night i was walking up the stairs to my bedroom and the lights were off so it was dark and i felt this feeling of something creeping up behind me from the shadows, i ended up rushing to my room with my heart beating heavily. I then stood in my room for a couple of minutes contemplating what had just happened.

Its my house and i know for a FACT that there's nothing there. But still i got this feeling that someone or something was creeping up from behind me in the dark and i don't even know what it was gonna do. Like what could it do?! (leaving alone the fact there couldn't possibly be anything there in the first place!). And then for the worse part, i actually had a proper panic attack (not the first time in the dark!). I think i'm convinced i'm phobic of the dark!
And it really sucks.

Cuz it heavily conflicts with the lifestyle i wanna lead. I'm kind of an adventurous sorta person. I love traveling and going to places not much visited by people. Like i'm not the kinda person who likes to travel to different cities to meet different kinds of people but rather i like traveling to places of nature and landscape. Also i love sailing and i plan to sail around the world someday, probably on my own.

Then there's the fact that i felt almost immobilised (or franticly mobilised) in my own house by the sheer feeling of darkness around me. I'm forced to think how can i survive in truly foreign places by myself!!
And i really can't let this "phobia" of mine conflict with my lifestyle. I just can't!!

I'm usually fine when i'm not alone. I can feel brave enough to venture into the creepiest of places if i've got another curious companion with me. Its only when i'm alone i get creeped the hell out!
Also its not that i believe in ghosts and stuff. Infact i'm quite skeptical about all the ghost stories i hear. Also there's even the thought that what would it do even if there is one and it ever finds me! I think i feel more fearful of humans than creatures and ghosts. Hence i don't feel confortable walking alone at nights in unfamiliar places. Its not the fear of some whacky ghost but rather the fear of getting jumped on by some weirdo trying to mug me or something.

All that aside, i've really gotta get control of my fear of the dark sooner or later cuz i really can't afford it to effect me life such significantly. Maybe its something down to the fact that i've got quite a wild imagination (which i've always had) but i need that as i'm quite a creative person and i couldn't do without it!

Then again i herd about the people who travel to the south pole. You need to have no imagination if you're gonna go on such adventurous journeys cuz you can't let your imagination come in your way. You've just gotta deal with things as they come, put them behind you and keep moving on.
I think i can manage that. But again, i got creeped out on my way to my bedroom....:(

LadyJ

I'm the exact same. Hate the dark. I always imagine that someone is going to creep up and kill me or something. I used to be ashamed of this but now I'm fine with telling people that the dark scares me. When you can't see properly then you are always cautious about what's around you, and rightly so. It is good to be afraid of walking down dark laneways alone because it can be dangerous.

Sometimes fear protects us.

I know how frustrating it can be to be afraid in your own house but just take it one step at a time. Leave on some music or the telly at night and you'll probably feel safer. Then eventually you'll graduate to silence in the dark. It worked for me a while back but then I regressed a bit. You have to keep working at it every day.

af_thefragile

^Sometimes when i'm alone in the house i can't really go to sleep in the silence of the dark.
Like i need to keep listening to some music to keep my mind occupied or watching tv or at the least leave the lights on. Its pretty rare that i go to bed normally when there's no one else in the house.

All then just gets really worrying as i plan on moving out someday and as i like to have my private place, i plan on living by myself in an apartment. And i don't know how i'm gonna survive by myself!
I'm sure i will though. I guess maybe in a couple of weeks or months i should get over the fear or something. If not, i need to fetch a therapist!!

T3h-Slayer

i used to be afraid of the dark. would be just like you afthefragile. could not even sleeps with the lights off. but eventually, i started to try and not flee from dark places rushing to the light switch or to some places where there was light. i tried to and beat that fear and now, light or darkness, i don't care cos none scares me. i can walk anywhere in a pitch black night and will feel no fear whether it is of darkness all around me or the feeling of being observed i formerly had when i was alone in a dark place.