Can I change my entire life around in the next week

kevogy

im17, and i really hate my life
ive no confidence, no self esteem, i am addicted to porn (big problem) i dont like my body size or shape, i have very few friends (none of them girls), i dont like the way i act, i feel like im stuck in a one of those, what you call them... distructive circles that i cant get out of.

etc
etc

i have a week of mid-term now and i think a whole life turn around is in order
is it possible to do it in a week? where can i even start? any tips anyone?

Jumpy

Its possible to change your attitude in a week, but it will take a lot longer to make it stick.

You wont see results in a week no. Thats why you shouldnt give up. When results come they are worth it.

Nevyn

Yes it is possible to make some changes but it will mean you sticking to them for you to see results.

One thing which can help is chainging around your living space so that it is different
and a constant reminder that you can control yourself and your life and change is possible for you.

Get a spring clean going in your home and in yourself.
Go to the dr about your health.
Start eating healthier, the diet and nutrition forum has lots of good info
and throw out all the junk food you have lying around.

Write yourself a new routine for who and what you want to be and put it into action.

LD 50

you want a drastic a drastic change? go out and get your hands on a copy of Luke Reinharts "Diceman", and a pair of dice. Read it and follow it. If you stick with it, it will change your life.

Nevyn

LD 50 wrote: »

you want a drastic a drastic change? go out and get your hands on a copy of Luke Reinharts "Diceman", and a pair of dice. Read it and follow it. If you stick with it, it will change your life.

I think the op is trying to better themselves and take responsibility for their life
and make what is for them positive changes not bring in a random element into their life and blame a coin toss or a roll of die, instead of taking control.

Diceman is an intresting read and a nice experiment but not a life guide
or a how to make good positive life changes guide.

CDfm

Thaeds advice is really good.

Others wont see the difference straight away but they will see a more positive you if you keep it up.

And if you feel good about the changes you make it shows.

LegacyUser

you should check out the athletics/running/triathlon forum....it is a good place for advice and help to start training

There's are lots of plans such as Hal Higdon novice running plans etc that are quite helpful if you were interested in jogging/running. The first couple of weeks are the hardest but after that it can get quite addictive. Good luck

LD 50

While Thaed's advice does sound great, the OP didn't specify that they wanted great advice. I give him/her my opinion, good bad or otherwise. Up to them if they get interested, or laugh at it. but I know where your coming from Thaed.

On a serious note to the OP, try adding some exercise to your new life. It'll make you feel better, happier and healthier and after a while you'll look better. A couple miles running every week will make the world of difference,along with what Thaed said.
Try joing some youth clubs or teams or something.

dub45

''The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step'

In other words start slow and continue. Dont try and do everything at once. Set targets for yourself (or even just one target) if you try to do everything at once the chances are that you fail because its too difficult to do lots at once (its not just you we are all the same) and if you achieve a target it gives you confidence to go on and achieve more.

Be kind to yourself too - the world is hard enough on us! Also always remember that no one has it altogether - most people have things about themselves that they would like to change.

''the only normal people are the ones you don't know well!''

kevogy

kevogy wrote: »

im17, and i really hate my life

i have a week of mid-term now and i think a whole life turn around is in order
is it possible to do it in a week? where can i even start? any tips anyone?

I used to feel the same way when i was younger, but then i got interested in self-improvement books... There is nothing stopping you from changing your life and keeping it changed. It just takes you making that first step and not looking back.

Off the bat, I would recommend "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne, since its quite small and could be read in a few hours. Excellent starting point for feeling positive about your life. Also "The Success Principles" by Jack Canfied. Its a business orientated book, but excellent for identifying goals, and getting them. Great for pretty much everything actually.

If you don't mind searching the net for a while, I'd highly recommend looking to find the "Palo Alto" tapes by Ross Jeffries. He's big into Speed Seduction, but he focuses heavily into self-help, & self-improvement. The Palo Alto tapes have alot of self-confidence help, happiness tools, etc. He's got some really great tools for helping you to gain confidence, and get women.. Personally, he was the kickstart for me changing my life for the better....

You can buy his products, but they're kinda expensive for a student. They are floating around on the net though...

taram

Write down all the positive things you'll do, like going for a long walk, or being extra nice to someone or having a good conversation with a girl. Then you can have a record of your progress, it'll help a lot.

Be positive, just stick a smile on your face regardless of how you feel, be polite, be upbeat. You're still you, just a happier one, people will respond to this.

CDfm

Deleted User wrote: »

I used to feel the same way when i was younger, but then i got interested in self-improvement books... There is nothing stopping you from changing your life and keeping it changed. It just takes you making that first step and not looking back.


You can buy his products, but they're kinda expensive for a student. They are floating around on the net though...

The granddaddy of all self help books How to Win Friends an iNfluence People by Dale Carnegie is very cheap in second hand shops probably 50c

All self help books are kinda based on it - but really its all about being involved and liking people.

IMHO - read a book by all means but start being interested in people now and you will be surprised how good it is- greeting people with their name is a start to overcome shyness.

gags89

hmmm tbh i used to be the same as you when i was your age so heres some pointers i can give you!

ok join a gym and get put on a program and start taking supplements after you have familarised yourself with the exercises etc!

eat healthier...you are what you eat mate!even just an increase in water less the sugar drinks and fruit over crisps,yogurts over bars are a good start!

research socialising as a science..simply google tips to improve confidence, help with women etc etc and then take notes, write um down and make sure you start to implement them when you interact with people...it works!!

image revamp maybe?go clothes shopping with a stylish friend,book a personal shopping apt(some are free) and get help you need!look up emerging styles and fashion tips for men on the web, some ones are genius!

maybe pick up a new hobbie, its a great way to meet new people who have common interests as you!..ie sports team/learning music etc etc!

invest in your health!brush your teeth,shave take pride in your appearance really in general!

remember how lucky you are and to make the most of your life because there are millions and millions of people worse off than you.

the more people you talk to the more friends you'd make and the more options you'l have to hang around with!again the confidence tips will help you initiate conversations!




hmmm i think thats it...write down weekly and even daily goals to achieve..from starting one conversation with someone new to even just starting that long ass essay due by friday youl feel better as you cross out your tasks!


best of luck bud!

Northernsoul

course u can bud _ it could ALWAYS be worse! SERIOUSLY!! :P

Northernsoul

What i meant by that is listen to this ... You'll feel better straight away!! :P

LegacyUser

If you have the motivation you can change your life tomorrow. Will take a while to make it stick as others have said. I remember seeing a psychologist saying somewhere that it takes about 3 weeks for new habits to stick and it seems a pretty good guide in my experience.

minidazzler

OP, on the "addicted to porn" issue, you are most likely not actually addicted, it would be more of it's there and you want relief.

I find that since I started working out a few weeks ago I have not only gotten WAY fitter and leaner, but I have been watching less porn.

Also avoid staying up late, that's when you will get bored adn decide to watch porn.

On the new friends front, if you are going to college, try if you can to go to a college that is not near where you live, Try to live in student Accomodation, it is much easier to make new friends.

Don't be someone who thinks about wanting to change, get out there and do it.

CDfm

Also - a summer or part time job would do wonders for esteem issues.

af_thefragile

Came across this a while ago.

Check out this video about this guy who changed his life completely around in 84 days.
It could inspire you and maybe you could try some of his ways to see if they work for you...

cantdecide

I haven't read all the previous posts but a mental spring clean will do you the world of good. I'd start by throwing all your porn away. You don't have to stop yourself having perfectly healthy sexual feelings/ urges, etc etc but you have to start managing your time and try to avoid a feeling of wretched self-indulgence in this regard. I think this alone will have a big impact on your view of the world and yourself...

Overheal

You might take special heed of Step 8:

http://www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/png/howtonotfailatlifepn3he9.png

Good first step is to clean the apartment/bedroom throw away the ladies. The clean living space does wonders on the brain.

af_thefragile

Deleted User wrote: »

I used to feel the same way when i was younger, but then i got interested in self-improvement books... There is nothing stopping you from changing your life and keeping it changed. It just takes you making that first step and not looking back.........
.....
You can buy his products, but they're kinda expensive for a student. They are floating around on the net though...

Dude, you totally left out Anthony Robbins.
He's the man!! If eveyone else fails, i'm sure Tony has got the way to make proper and lasting change. His ways are simple and use logic. Its more about changing your way of thinking and approach than any fancy tricks.
I read The Secret and although i know there's a lot of truth in the whole "law of attraction" thing but i didn't like the way it was presented as some mysterious force cuz its not anything like that.
Tony Robbins teaches the same thing but he uses a far more logical approach which is much easier to belief and follow. Also he works on the more deeper things that hold you back so that you can solve the deeper issues first to make yourself totally linear in making that lasting change. I highly recommend checking out his stuff.

You can find a lot of his stuff on youtube and also floating around if you wanna fish it off the internet...
Also for some of his free stuff check out here: http://tonyrobbinstraining.com/
He's got a new free program to download out there which might help you with the first steps and get you moving in the right direction.

You might also wanna take a look at this: http://vst.cape.com/~rch/fox.html
Its The Seven Day Mental Diet and it really works if you manage to pull it off right (i haven't so far...!, but i'm sure you can!).

Nevyn

Please note youtube embeding is switched off for this forum.
The mods do not have the abiltiy to check and watch each one which is linked.

tbh

this is going to sound patronising, but it's not meant like that. You are 17, this is what it's supposed to be like when you're 17. You cannot make any meaningful changes in a week, but you can start to make changes. Either way, whatever person you change into will most likely be temporary anyway. Small steps over long timeframes work best ime.

the e stands for experience.

Reflector

take it one step at a time, I'm a big fan of lists. write down all the things that you don't like then go through them one by one and write a solution to how you could fix that.
Example if you don't like your size why not start a running regime, start walking and slowly build up to jogging and improve your diet. You are 17 and you'll shed weight in no time.
You are very young, it's a tough time the transition into adulthood.
Good luck

I'd highly recommend either joining a gym or taking up some form of a sport. Exercise does wonders for us. You'll have more energy, you will look better to other people, and you'll feel better in a general way. It's also a good place to funnel any frustrations that you can't immediately change.

LegacyUser

You already know what you need to do. Now turn off the computer and begin. You can do it.

LegacyUser

There are two GREAT books you can either buy or, get from the library.

1. Change Your Life In 7 Days - by Paul McKenna.

1. Giant Steps - by Anthony Robbins.

Change happens in an instant. It takes will-power and determination to build on that, and to continue forward.

You've already taken the first step - now take another...