Been treated like a pawn by friends gf.

LegacyUser

First of all, sorry if my subject is a broken record. I just have to get this out of my head, and get other peoples perspectives.

Right, here goes.

A few days ago a mate called and had some irgent things to discuss with me. "-He needs money, or something else has happened" was my first impression.

I told him to come over which he did. He then asked me if i liked the girl he's dating and told me they broken up with the reason that she liked me better.

Flattered as i was, i felt a bit confused. Sure, she's a stunner.. but it's my friends ex.
He thought it was a cockup-scheme only for her to make him jealous. And i agreed. However, he gave me her number and said i could do what the f*... i liked with her but to be cautious.

Later that day i got text after text from her. I only replied with down to earth stuff. No lovelycuddly-things.

(How she got my number i don't know. He must've given it to her)

The day after i sent a text to her (first time i took the initiative) Only to get a cold "-i'm sorry to get you mixed up in this, i only did it so he would open his eyes for me. we are getting together again and i will never leave his side ever again" or something in style with that.

So i might've told her to act her age and not put either him or me in any game where we were pawns and she was gameleader or something. And stuff like that are more likely to break things than mend things.

Now i'm furious about her behaviour, she used to be kind and so. And i'm also sorry for my friend, which i feel like letting down even though i haven't done anything.

I know her and me will meet again at his place (if he let's me in, haven't talked to him that much since this) and i really think that he would look for something else.

Sorry. Just had to blurt it out.

So:

1. Have I done something wrong?
2. Should i tell the guy how i feel about this?
3. Should i try to warn him off?

MIN2511

1. Why did you send her the text the next day? Where you interested in her?
2. Tell him how you feel ie its a mind game, you are not willing to participate in.
3. Don't warn him, they are both adults and whatever they do is their business... As long as they don't get you involved.

Otis Driftwood

Delete her number and dont bother your arse with her again.She is obviously trouble so Id say stay well away from their relationship.Generally people like that are found out for what they are and things like this will eventually catch up with her.

LegacyUser

MIN2511 wrote: »

1. Why did you send her the text the next day? Where you interested in her?

Yes i was.

NEDTHESHED wrote:

Delete her number and dont bother your arse with her again.She is obviously trouble so Id say stay well away from their relationship.Generally people like that are found out for what they are and things like this will eventually catch up with her.

Already done that.

To make things worse i seem to be one of those hopeless romantic characters. I should be able to shrug it off in a blink, but i guess i fall in love way to easily.

MIN2511

Unregistered wrote: »

Yes i was.


Already done that.

To make things worse i seem to be one of those hopeless romantic characters. I should be able to shrug it off in a blink, but i guess i fall in love way to easily.

You were interested in her....

She's your mates gf/ex, would you have dated her if she played cool with you?


You are only human afterall, i wouldn't do this but i cannot judge you.

They put you in an akward situation and now you don't know where you stand... You should talk to your mate and tell him this is not on at all

LegacyUser

MIN2511 wrote: »

You were interested in her....

She's your mates gf/ex, would you have dated her if she played cool with you?


You are only human afterall, i wouldn't do this but i cannot judge you.

They put you in an akward situation and now you don't know where you stand... You should talk to your mate and tell him this is not on at all

Would i have dated her? Well to be honest i'm not sure. I guess i felt a bit of appreciation and might've let that take over instead of common sense, yes.

Although it would've been odd i guess.

Today i know better. Hopefully it will stick in the future aswell.

Even if my friend is dating (insert celebrityname) and they broke up, i feel like not going through this again.

jellie

sounds like some sort of weird friendship test or something..

1. why would you go near your friends ex?

but i guess i fall in love way to easily.

2. youre not in love

minidazzler

OK, That was a sh1tty move texting your friends Ex, permission means nothing, especially the day after they break up. You should have at least given it a few weeks.

Anyway, simply explain to your friend that she was messing with both of ye to wreck his head, tell him the messages you sent were not real and you were just checking if she was being serious or Fcukin with his head.

Tell him to stay away from this girl, she is trouble. He WILL NOT listen to you about this, and if offered he is highly likely to go back to her, but when it goes south again, and it will, you get a good "I told you so" moment.

Wagon

Your penis was doing the thinking for you. Mine has done on numerous occaisions and it landed me in trouble worse than this. Human folly so don't beat yourself up about it. Any bloke who says otherwise is either a liar, young or celebate.

You did the right thing by deleteing her number. I also would have been round to my mate's gaff like a shot and tried to strangle him, the ****er. You can afford to tell your mate where you and him stand (ie. this is out of order) and as you're both lads, it'll probably blow over quickly. you don't have to see her though. Just head around to his gaff when she isn't there. Or if there's a group of you out don't talk to her. Anyone who asks why you are ignoring her, tell them. Hate to say this but she'll end up doing worse than this to your mate down the line.

cantdecide

They must have little respect for you if they would both get into this with you. Have some self respect and listen to that inner paranoid voice because sometimes it's right.

You all sound like you're in your teens which is where I would expect to find this behavior. If you're not, then I'd be more worried and I would strongly consider giving them both a wide berth either way. After all, the significant thing is that no matter what way you look at it's their game that you were made to be a pawn in.

As posted, permission means nothing and I would add to it that just because you were encouraged to participate in some kind of wrangling within their relationship doesn't mean that common sense shouldn't prevail. You may feel reasonably angry at them but if you were telling us how you were angry and disappointed in yourself with your handling the situation, I would be less surprised.

MagicMarker

You haven't done anything wrong but you definitely shouldn't have replied to her text.