Do all men cheat?

LegacyUser

Would just like to have a couple of opinions on this, I have been cheated on in two of my previous long term relationships, I'm with my current boyfriend for 2 years now and we're to my mind very much in love.. Mind you I have thought that in the past too. Both times I've been cheated on, it was a one night stand when they were away with work, or friends, and both claimed "it meant nothing" I had serious trust issues with my current boyfriend by thanks to an alarming amount of patience on his part we seem to have worked through these, however.... Drum roll please... He goes away about 3 times a year overnight stays with his job, and when he's gone I'm nervous, I don't mention this anymore nor am I in any way off with him when he returns, but I suppose I'm just still that bit scared that if it's offered to him on a plate, he has a few drinks on him etc,,, he'll avail of it, again a nod to my past, But is it normal to feel this way? And guys I'd appreciate you're responses on whether you would yay or nay in such a situation...

Overheal

No, not all men cheat. And the reasons they do are many and legion.

Dante

Yes.

Icdb

some do some don't... it's in the male genes... some people say monogamy is unnatural... it's the animal in us... and some can control it and some can't.. now the real question is it cheating if you don't get caught and don't feel bad/guilty about it..

uberwolf

DaaaaaaaaaaN wrote: »

Yes.

No.

OP we're all shaped by our experiences. Your experiences tell you people cheat. So you react to that. Can you have a relationship with that expectation? I'm not sure, but I don't think so. So you have to work on your trust issues.

Otis Driftwood

Icdb wrote: »

some do some don't... it's in the male genes... some people say monogamy is unnatural... it's the animal in us... and some can control it and some can't.. now the real question is it cheating if you don't get caught and don't feel bad/guilty about it..

I think thats such a cop out,all this stuff about genes.If that was the case why arent we still living in trees flinging crap at eachother or dragging women around by their hair?
Unfortunatly people cheat,both genders.Personally I have never strayed and I know a number of people that have not or would never either.On the other hand I know people,male and female that have cheated alot on various partners.To me its all about respect,if you shag someone else then you dont care about the person you are with,simple as.
You have had 2 bad experiences but you shouldnt let the past ruin the good relationship you have now.

SarahSassy

Of course not all men cheat. Have you any reason to suspect this guy would? Some girls tend to follow a pattern with their partners. Does this guy flirt with other guys in front of you or do anything to make you uncomfortable??

Most men are decent, you have either been unlucky or go for the same 'type' of guy. Which is it?

SarahSassy

Icdb wrote: »

some do some don't... it's in the male genes... some people say monogamy is unnatural... it's the animal in us... and some can control it and some can't.. now the real question is it cheating if you don't get caught and don't feel bad/guilty about it..

Monogamy is probably equally different for men and women these days.... There is always plenty of opportunity and sex is free and easy now for both sexes. Its down to an individuals morals and standards and not your sex.

abouttobebanned

Men were designed to spread their seed. They're designed to be attracted to women who in turn are designed to paint themselves up and advertise to prospective mates.

Monogamy is unnatural - fact.

Man has created a lot of fairly unnatural things...marriage, religion etc...

SarahSassy

abouttobebanned wrote: »

Men were designed to spread their seed. They're designed to be attracted to women who in turn are designed to paint themselves up and advertise to prospective mates.

Monogamy is unnatural - fact.

Man has created a lot of fairly unnatural things...marriage, religion etc...

All very true for when we were still swinging from the trees. Some of us have dropped to land in recent years.

Silverfish

This is not a thread to discuss whether monogamy is natural or unnatural.

Can we keep it on topic and helpful please.

LegacyUser

SarahSassy wrote: »

Of course not all men cheat. Have you any reason to suspect this guy would? Some girls tend to follow a pattern with their partners. Does this guy flirt with other guys in front of you or do anything to make you uncomfortable??

Most men are decent, you have either been unlucky or go for the same 'type' of guy. Which is it?

I have no reason on earth to doubt him and that's what makes me so mad at myself sometimes. He's kind, loving and everything I could ask for, He doesn't flirt, in fact he's rather shy, he treats me with respect at all times, that's not to say we don't piss each other off upon occassion. With regard to my former two partners one was also like this, treated me like a queen, when he cheated he told me, the other was a bit of a ladies man, but I thought at the time that flirting was as far as it went, When he did the dirty I found out from his friends girlfriend. They were two completely different people in every way... I didn't push them to it as some might think, in fact I used to be Miss Laid back, enjoyed nothing more then having nights out with friends while they were with theirs and then have "our" time another night, and despite what some posters have said, I know deep down that it's ridicoulous to tar all men with the same brush, I suppose the answer is that some will and some wont... Thanks for all your replies ..

Wibbs

Exactly some will some wont. I've had plenty of opportunities in the past and I've never cheated on a girlfriend. Simply not my thing. In between partners I've "spread my seed", but in relationships no way.

girl2

I think this is a very difficult topic.

I think that there are some very good men out there who would never dream of cheating on their other half, wouldnt entertain the idea and would run away from any possible situation.

There are also the men who are in a relationship and the situation presents itself - here there are 2 types of these men -

1. there will be the man who will end the current relationship to be with the other person (the man with the balls, if you ask me) and
2. then there will be the man who will go ahead, have his cake and eat it (bedhopper, cake-eater, call him what you like - nothing less than scumbag).

It can happen to anyone, and the fact that you have already had 2 serious relationships and been cheated on in both of these relationships makes it doubly hard on you. So answering your questions - no, in my opinion not all men will cheat.

SarahSassy

OP

Dont be hard on yourself. You have been through some very difficult times and dont underestimate the harm both your ex's cheating on you can cause. You are entirely human and its entirely natural to be nervous. Once bitten etc....

You seem to have a great relationship with your BF so talk to him, explain how you feel and Im sure he would be more than happy to help with allaying your fears...

Its not an irrational fear, its a fear based on previous experiences and only the most super extreme confident person could have this happen to them and not look back...

I was in a similar position and some things my new BF does triggers a memory and a 'worry' but I have explained to him why I look odd at times and we have worked around it.. It can be done and remember you have chosen your new BF on the basis of what you have learned from the past... Trust your judgement.

The thing is OP that unless you chain your significant other in the attic you can never trauly know if he has cheated but thats the same for every other couple on the planet so you have to get over this... Not only for this BF but for anyone you wish to have a decent future with.

cafecolour

Well, I haven't done a coherent study, but most stats I've seen in articles and such have ranged anywhere from 25% to 50% of men will cheat over the course of a long term relationship. So not most, but a significant percentage.

However, nearly every study I've seen has puts women at nearly the same percentage likeliness to cheat (like 20% to 50%).

So YOU are as likely to cheat, statistically, as he is. Should he be worried about what you're doing at home while he's away on business? If not, why should you worry about him?

mysterious

it's not a difficult topic.

This is like saying do all men like brocolli, the answer to that is no. It's a very silly generalization.

Though most men will cheat if they do not love thier partner. Also taking into consideration, Men have a instinctive urge to reproduce, and in nature the man has to spread his DNA as much as he can. Now society has far changed from stone age tendancies. So infidelity is more of a choice rather than subconcious. But it is more common in men, than woman and that is a fact.

But onto the point. If a man loves his woman, the chances of him cheating is sweet little to none. Well this seems to be the pattern. Me being a man, and if I fell in love with a woman, my eyes are only for her. Love is like respect in many ways.

Well that's my two cent's

It is a bit silly to start a thread with "all" in the question:rolleyes: Like do all guys like blue. Obviously you would know the answer to that. Its no.

Koloman

Icdb wrote: »

some do some don't... it's in the male genes... some people say monogamy is unnatural... it's the animal in us... and some can control it and some can't.. now the real question is it cheating if you don't get caught and don't feel bad/guilty about it..

Em.. We are not monkeys! Most of us can control ourselves!

Koloman

Do they wrote: »

Would just like to have a couple of opinions on this, I have been cheated on in two of my previous long term relationships, I'm with my current boyfriend for 2 years now and we're to my mind very much in love.. Mind you I have thought that in the past too. Both times I've been cheated on, it was a one night stand when they were away with work, or friends, and both claimed "it meant nothing" I had serious trust issues with my current boyfriend by thanks to an alarming amount of patience on his part we seem to have worked through these, however.... Drum roll please... He goes away about 3 times a year overnight stays with his job, and when he's gone I'm nervous, I don't mention this anymore nor am I in any way off with him when he returns, but I suppose I'm just still that bit scared that if it's offered to him on a plate, he has a few drinks on him etc,,, he'll avail of it, again a nod to my past, But is it normal to feel this way? And guys I'd appreciate you're responses on whether you would yay or nay in such a situation...

I would say that men and women can be just as bad, it's just that women are better at getting away with it!

MagicMarker

No.

littlebug

No they don't, but I absolutely understand where you're coming from. The last 2 relationships I had before my now husband sound identical to yours. When I met my husband I was convinced it would happen again and boy did I drive him nuts . I think it was a defence mechanism of sorts so that if he did cheat I might not feel so hurt if I could say "well huh told you so". After a few months I realised that I had found a really good man who was perfect for me and loved me and if anything was going to drive him away it was my ridiculous paranoia and jealousy. After a while I just felt silly for ever having doubted him. It sounds like you've found one of the good ones OP- you need to let go of the damage done by the others.

mysterious

Koloman wrote: »

I would say that men and women can be just as bad, it's just that women are better at getting away with it!

I dissagree T-O-T-A-L-L-y


oh god my head hurts sooooooooo bad right now.

In all my existence that is one of the most silliest post I've ever read, and one of the most false statement I've ever heard.

Men are considered studs, macho if they cheat in alot of cases. The very word of infidelity towards woman, is bitch, ho, slut, trash etc.

For example
Friend of mine and another friend of mine, both were in relationships met each other randomly. He (male) got little to no abuse. The girl lost all her friends and took her months to get rid of the "slut" title off her. The lads were like hey man, you scored with a hot chick etc. The men get away with it far easier than women let me tell you. Cheating can give men more confidence in their power. In woman it take's away there femininty.

The men always get away with it. The woman end up been the victim in most cases. God that post :eek: My head.......


I just had to fix that error of judgment.

Koloman

mysterious wrote: »

I dissagree T-O-T-A-L-L-y


oh god my head hurts sooooooooo bad right now.

In all my existence that is one of the most silliest post I've ever read, and one of the most false statement I've ever heard.

Men are considered studs, macho if they cheat in alot of cases. The very word of infidelity towards woman, is bitch, ho, slut, trash etc.

For example
Friend of mine and another friend of mine, both were in relationships met each other randomly. He (male) got little to no abuse. The girl lost all her friends and took her months to get rid of the "slut" title off her. The lads were like hey man, you scored with a hot chick etc. The men get away with it far easier than women let me tell you. Cheating can give men more confidence in their power. In woman it take's away there femininty.

The men always get away with it. The woman end up been the victim in most cases. God that post :eek: My head.......


I just had to fix that error of judgment.

You cannot label all men like that just because of one experience! I genuinely believe women can just be as bad as men in these situations.

Do you realise the amount of men in this country who are bringing up children that they think are their own when in fact their wife or partner has had a little affair which has resulted in a pregnancy? They lie to their partner and say the child is theirs. It's only in some medical situation that the truth comes out!

PS; I hope your head gets better soon!

Leslie91

Not me...

But I have been cheated on, more than once, by a member of the fairer sex.

mysterious

Koloman wrote: »

You cannot label all men like that just because of one experience! I genuinely believe women can just be as bad as men in these situations.

Do you realise the amount of men in this country who are bringing up children that they think are their own when in fact their wife or partner has had a little affair which has resulted in a pregnancy? They lie to their partner and say the child is theirs. It's only in some medical situation that the truth comes out!

PS; I hope your head gets better soon!

Thats why duh, I said men get away with it easier than woman they have children with other partners.

I never said all men either:rolleyes: anyway don't want to bring this off the topic.

Koloman

mysterious wrote: »

Thats why duh, I said men get away with it easier than woman they have children with other partners.

I never said all men either:rolleyes: anyway don't want to bring this off the topic.

That's not what I took out of your post! Don't play the victim all of the time.

Also, some people are easily led by their friends and won't stand up for themselves. Men especially can brag to their friends when their opinions on a woman can be the complete opposite. Its all show. It doesn't mean they don't respect their girlfriend. They have to keep up a bravado for their friends unfortunately.

CDfm

A guy needs a woman to cheat with.

So in one sense you have to say some guys are led astray.

LegacyUser

im goin out with my gal for 2years, and shes currently in oz!not a fear of me going off cheating on her. why would i look a silver wen iv got the gold?not all blokes are the same.

Raekwon

What a ridiculous thread!

Men & women probably cheat as much as each other………….but it is way easier for women to cheat if they wanted too, it is a sellers market after all

Queen-Mise

Raekwon wrote: »

What a ridiculous thread!

Men & women probably cheat as much as each other………….but it is way easier for women to cheat if they wanted too, it is a sellers market after all

So so true. One of my favourites is when a girl is called a slut for sleeping around. But who is she sleeping with.....

Of course all men don't cheat.

K-9

Nope, never have. Been in bad relationships too, so didn't use that ould excuse.

acid.rain

Do they wrote: »

Would just like to have a couple of opinions on this, I have been cheated on in two of my previous long term relationships, I'm with my current boyfriend for 2 years now and we're to my mind very much in love.. Mind you I have thought that in the past too. Both times I've been cheated on, it was a one night stand when they were away with work, or friends, and both claimed "it meant nothing" I had serious trust issues with my current boyfriend by thanks to an alarming amount of patience on his part we seem to have worked through these, however.... Drum roll please... He goes away about 3 times a year overnight stays with his job, and when he's gone I'm nervous, I don't mention this anymore nor am I in any way off with him when he returns, but I suppose I'm just still that bit scared that if it's offered to him on a plate, he has a few drinks on him etc,,, he'll avail of it, again a nod to my past, But is it normal to feel this way? And guys I'd appreciate you're responses on whether you would yay or nay in such a situation...

if you give a man (or woman) a reason to cheat, then he will

LegacyUser

acid.rain wrote: »

if you give a man (or woman) a reason to cheat, then he will

Okay, first of all I know that you can't say for certain that all men cheat, I know that you can't say for certain that all women cheat, I was looking for opinions not hardcore statistics... And thanks to everyone for your opinions I appreciate all of them... Re the above!!This opens another can of worms, because to my mind there is no excuse for cheating. Maybe that's just me.. I also resent the implication that having been cheated on I am somehow responsible..Do you know out of all my relationships I've been most insecure with my current boyfriend, it caught me competely on the hop, I've always been confident and secure in relationships and held the attitude that if he didn't want to be with me, he wouldn't. However, thankfully the current b/f didnt feel my insecurities gave him a "reason" to cheat and we worked through them as a couple, yes I have a twinge of doubt now and again, and yes it makes me a little nervy when he's away but believe me nowhere near as bad as it used to make me feel.. So it's been interesting to get your points of view, some make me smile and some make me laugh out loud, especially them men can be let astray comment!

CathyMoran

I do think that all people have the capacity to cheat, they just need to be in a very stressfull situation to do it, a combination of unfortunate events so to speak. Having said that, if they do it in those circumstances it is unlikely to happen again.

There are also some people who just dont care...

I dont have a low opinion of people, it is just that I know that circumstances can make even the best people do bad things but it would not put me off a long term relationship.

Even if the worst did happen, you can get past it, it is not like they are ill or anything worse.

acid.rain

Do they wrote: »

Okay, first of all I know that you can't say for certain that all men cheat, I know that you can't say for certain that all women cheat, I was looking for opinions not hardcore statistics... And thanks to everyone for your opinions I appreciate all of them... Re the above!!This opens another can of worms, because to my mind there is no excuse for cheating. Maybe that's just me.. I also resent the implication that having been cheated on I am somehow responsible..Do you know out of all my relationships I've been most insecure with my current boyfriend, it caught me competely on the hop, I've always been confident and secure in relationships and held the attitude that if he didn't want to be with me, he wouldn't. However, thankfully the current b/f didnt feel my insecurities gave him a "reason" to cheat and we worked through them as a couple, yes I have a twinge of doubt now and again, and yes it makes me a little nervy when he's away but believe me nowhere near as bad as it used to make me feel.. So it's been interesting to get your points of view, some make me smile and some make me laugh out loud, especially them men can be let astray comment!

can you predict human nature?

Terodil

Mmmh... let's see...

[_] NO
[X] YES

We are all bastards and can think of nothing else but cheating. All the time. Without exception.

...

Honestly, cop on.

acid.rain

unless you have a deep moral code, some men will not cheat. but its in all men that instinctive need to procreate, to have sex

Terodil

acid.rain wrote: »

unless you have a deep moral code, some men will not cheat. but its in all men that instinctive need to procreate, to have sex

And the biological need to procreate is not the case with women?
And we're not gifted with the capacity to control our urges?
And we're not gifted with the feeling of love either?

This thread delivers.

acid.rain

Terodil wrote: »

And the biological need to procreate is not the case with women?
And we're not gifted with the capacity to control our urges?
And we're not gifted with the feeling of love either?

This thread delivers.

women are much more nurturers, care providers, whereas men are more driven by testosterone, hunter-gatherers

men are from Mars
women are from Venus

LegacyUser

Its been my experience that both sexes probably cheat about equally.

I've also found that women will cheat quicker with a man she know's has a partner than a man will cheat with a woman who he know's has a partner.

themacdaddy

NO not all men cheat. I have a girlfiriend who I love and respect and if if I wasn't happy with her I would end it with her instead of cheating. You could easily ask the question do all women cheat? To be honest I hate the way all men seem to get painted with the same brush. I would argue that just as many women cheat as men!

am i bovvered

Each couples definition of "cheat" differs for example I have read many threads where a man is looking at porn and the partner is on boards talking about how she is being cheated on. Each couple has to define cheating for themselves.

xavier19

yes we do

Terodil

acid.rain wrote: »

women are much more nurturers, care providers, whereas men are more driven by testosterone, hunter-gatherers

men are from Mars
women are from Venus

I think my irony detector broke...

this post was ironic, right?... right?

Iago

all guys have the potential to cheat

some don't get a chance to find out if they would cheat because they're never in that position.

some are faced with the opportunity and succumb.

some have the opportunity and ignore it out of respect for their partner or because they have no interest in cheating.

Each person/reaction is situation dependent, some will never cheat at all, some will cheat at every opportunity and some will only cheat when a very specific set of circumstances arise.

Loomis

Do all men cheat?
No.

Do all women cheat?
No.

Does everyone commit murder?
Yes, I think so.

Threads like this shouldn't get beyond a couple of posts. Asking questions about cheating is fine but if you have to ask about such absolutes then that's worrying.

Wibbs

I agree. Please move away from the general discussion on cheating more suited to humanities and instead attend to the OP's worries, over her man, not "all" men. Thanks

AARRRGH

Reading Men's Health magazine today, I came across this nice little statistic from the Durex 2006 Global Sex Survey -

34% of men have cheated
40% of women have cheated

So us men have more to worry about.

CDfm

AARRRGH wrote: »

Reading Men's Health magazine today, I came across this nice little statistic from the Durex 2006 Global Sex Survey -

34% of men have cheated
40% of women have cheated

So us men have more to worry about.

So women cheat more.

I had always wondered who all these guys were cheating with.:D

SarahSassy

"Lies, damned lies, and statistics"

Statistics in these discussions are totally pointless.

Pherekydes

CDfm wrote: »

So women cheat more.

I had always wondered who all these guys were cheating with.:D

No, they cheat less. More women cheat, though.

Think about it.