What should I do?

LegacyUser

My bosses mother died yesterday, and he has taken a few days off to sort out funerals etc. I do not know him very well, and did not know her at all. Should I go to the funeral? Or should I just send flowers, or should I do nothing?

On the one hand, it would be nice to give support to him, but on the other I wont know anyone else at the funeral. Some people only want family at funerals, and dislike other people arriving, which i understand.

Also, as I dont know him very well I dont want to embarass him or myself during the emotion of it all.

Any one any ideas?

Thanks

Kirnsy

well if you can maybe go to the removal. give him your condolences and he will appreciate you being there. the removal is the more open ceremony IMO and any support during this sort of time is appreciated by everyone from experience.

seamus

I concur with the removal. A funeral is that little bit more personal and is more about celebrating the life of the deceased, whereas the removal is the place for people to offer their condolences to the family.

You don't have to have know the deceased to offer condolences to a friend/colleagues who did.

jim o doom

Personally wouldn't go to either the removal or the funeral unless I was quite friendly/friends with the bereaved.. Flowers & condolences when you see him again, would be good in my book..

00112984

I think flowers at a funeral are a very personal thing with normally the family and close friends providing them so I wouldn't go down that route.

Pop into the removal, pay your respects and shake a few hands for ten minutes- it's respectful both to the dead lady and your boss without being overly familiar.

paperclip2

I'd also say go to the removal. Its more as a sign of respect and sympathy for your boss than anything else really and it will be appreciated. A mass card is also good but I'd skip the flowers. As someone else said thats a bit more personal.

Otis Driftwood

Depends on the size of your work place IMO.If its a large place with alot of employees then I wouldnt be that pushed,if its small and ye work close enough together then I definitly would.You would be surprised how well a seemingly small gesture like this is perceived.

Dizzyblonde

As a sign of respect for your boss it would be the norm to go to the removal. Some people don't have removal ceremonies these days and if that's the case, then you would go to the funeral mass but not the cemetery/crematorium.