How long before moving in together?

LegacyUser

Hi

I just wanted to get peoples opinions about how long you should be with someone before you move in together?

Im 25 and with my gf just under 2 and a half years and she is dropping hints about moving in. We both still live at home and it is getting to the stage where I want to move out, but I dont want to move in with my girlfriend. I have never lived out of the family home.

I said this to my parents and they could not believe I didnt want to move in with her. But Im just not ready for it.

Any opinions?

Silverfish

There's no time frame, its whenever you feel ready and actually want to live with the person.

Personally, I'd be against moving out of home and in with a partner , I think everyone needs to find their own feet first.

Ickle Magoo

I think the simple answer is; when you want to move in with someone is the right time to move in with someone.

Don't move in with someone because they want to, or because anyone else expects it. It's much easier to explain why you want to experience living on your own than explaining why you'd now like her to move out. If you are not pretty sure that's the route you want to go, don't do it - I think you would only regret it.

I went out with a guy for 4yrs, didn't want to move in with him, I was just quite happy for things to beetle along as they were. Met another guy years later & we moved in together after a couple of months. Just felt I was now ready.

Tom Trojan

Unregistered wrote: »

but I dont want to move in with my girlfriend.

Answered your own question?

Mmmm_Lemony

Unregistered wrote: »

Im 25 and with my gf just under 2 and a half years and she is dropping hints about moving in. We both still live at home and it is getting to the stage where I want to move out,

Any opinions?

As long as you have a decent enough job, you have a perfect window of opportunity to bite the bullet and get out from under your parents roof. In my opinion if you dont do it now, next thing you know your 35 and untouchable... If it doesn't work out with the girlfriend, its no big deal, and imo you only really know what someone is like if you have shared a fridge with them...

Overheal

Unregistered wrote: »

I want to move out, but I dont want to move in with my girlfriend. I have never lived out of the family home.

Unless you're fortunate your first few times living out of the home are going to be in shared accommodations. Are you looking to live by yourself for a while, or just not with your girlfriend?

Craft25

i think you meant to say: how do i tell my girlfriend that i want to move out of my parents but not so share with her without her taking it the wrong way..

it probably is a good idea to live on your own a bit, find your own feet as someone above said.. maybe you could live close to her in a bit of a compromise?

CDfm

Mmmm_Lemony wrote: »

As long as you have a decent enough job, you have a perfect window of opportunity to bite the bullet and get out from under your parents roof. In my opinion if you dont do it now, next thing you know your 35 and untouchable... If it doesn't work out with the girlfriend, its no big deal, and imo you only really know what someone is like if you have shared a fridge with them...

Ya I know what OP means - his own place -boss -decision maker - friends over when he wants -farting in the bath. Having to have the Laura Ashley duvet cover when you really want the New Orleans Whorehouse one.

What OP doesnt want is G/f acting in loco parentis - your friends have to go home now dear - did you really need to leave that cup there and all that.

Thats totally cool - moving in together is not just about commitment but its lifestyle changes.Because OP hasnt had a life away from home he wants to experience that first in a Men Behaving badly kind of way.

Craft25

CDfm wrote: »

What OP doesnt want is G/f acting in loco parentis - your friends have to go home now dear - did you really need to leave that cup there and all that.

haha - sorry hunny, if you dont mind six of the lads are gonna sprawl around the livin room floor 'til sunday evening drinking dutch gold, playin PES, smokin wacky backy..

go freedom!!

TheZohanS

Now is the time tbh.

You'd be better moving in with your g/f than some randomers.

"If you want to know someone live with them", worst case scenario you decide to part ways and you can have some fun, best case scenario you get on great and realise she really is the one.

It's a nice fast-track way to see if you're with the right person.

CDfm

Craft25 wrote: »

haha - sorry hunny, if you dont mind six of the lads are gonna sprawl around the livin room floor 'til sunday evening drinking dutch gold, playin PES, smokin wacky backy..

go freedom!!

OP you can have it all- do it.

Katgurl

Je$u$ christ. do NOT move in with her if you're not ready.

Are any of your friends looking for a houseshare? Or even friends of friends? I think its really important to learn how to look after yourself / manage a home before co-habiting. otherwise you'll most likely expect your girlfreind to behave like your mother.

Just tell your girlfriend the truth. You're not ready - it doesn't mean that you don't love her or you'll never be ready.

seamus

What's already been said is good advice. If you're not ready, you're not ready. Everyone needs to experience life on their own, or at least under their own steam for a while, even if you're not necessarily living on your own.

Sharing a home with a partner means that most decisions become joint decisions and there are few opportunities to be selfish and do something just because you want to do. There is absolutley nothing wrong with this and I consider it to be an essential part of life and learning to be an adult. What you're both probably craving at this point in time is the space to be alone together and do things without having to account for every second of your time. One or both of you living outside the family home will provide this without you having to move in together.

I'm sure she'd understand.

CDfm

Katgurl wrote: »

Je$u$ christ. do NOT move in with her if you're not ready.

Are any of your friends looking for a houseshare? Or even friends of friends? I think its really important to learn how to look after yourself / manage a home before co-habiting. otherwise you'll most likely expect your girlfreind to behave like your mother.

Just tell your girlfriend the truth. You're not ready - it doesn't mean that you don't love her or you'll never be ready.

A better way might be if you are not ready just say it.

If she wants to get her own place and you move in there then its a different dynamic and if it doesnt work it is easier for you to move out or move back home.You are not tied but she takes the lease.

I hear ya son -its like a marriage -the other way.And you are not ready for that.