Is his heart not in it?

sarah.kate

I'm slightly confused about something and just want some perspective on it. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we are very much in love. However there is one thing that he does that has me slightly confused about his feelings. When I'm with him I feel so loved by him but sometimes at the weekends, he'll totally avoid me. He often turns off his phone so I can't get through.
2 weeks ago, he blocked me out for 5 days. He didn't reply to my texts and was uncontactable for days.
I spoke to him about how it makes me feel and he promised me he would always stay in touch on the weekends when he's not with me.
However I didn't hear from him at all last night and have no idea where he was. I didn't send any messages or call because he knows how I feel about being ignored at this stage.
what do i do now? im tired of getting mad and same thing happening over and over?

herya

Well it does sound inconsiderate. Some people need a lot of personal space, I am one of them - but then in a mature relationship you should be updated on what your plans are even if it's only "I'll be catching up with my DVDs to see this weekend, I prefer to be on my own but if anything urgent happens you can find me there".

MJOR

is it possible that he is seeing someone else? have you noticed a pattern. I don't want to freak you out but its possible. I think you need to have a chat. There is a difference between needing space and cutting you out.

Monkey61

It is a bit inconsiderate alright.

Before you jump to any horrible conclusions though, is it possible that he just doesn't like texting? I hate texting. It pains me to have to do it sometimes. My last girlfriend used to get so mad at me because I wouldn't text her at the weekends. I always set off with the best of intentions to do it, but then I'd say, "ah I'll do it later" and then later I'd think, "ah it's only a text, I'll do it later." I genuinely couldn't understand why it was so important to her.

Personally I would much rather save up all my news until I saw her again, instead of firing off random texts. He probably doesn't understand how important it is to you. In long term relationships people like to enjoy their own space and text messages are awful at impinging on that. It's nice to be uncontactable sometimes. Admittedly five days is a bit much, but I think you can rest assured that you are reading way more into this than he is.

Karen_*

Five days of no contact in a serious longterm relationship is not the norm OP. Don't make any assumptions but ask him whats going on. You don't have to live in each others pockets but its odd he vanishes for weekends with his phone switched off. Very odd.