Girlfriend going on holidays with guyfriends.

LegacyUser

Hello all, going unregged for this one just to be on the safe side.

So you all know, I am a mere 18, with the end of the Leaving Cert exams in my sights, so perhaps this issue will seem somewhat trivial to a lot of you, but its causing me a lot of headaches, and being the 'young un', I was hoping a few of the old hands could lend me their experience.

My girlfriend and I have been going out for about a year and a half, and despite our relatively young age we are both very mature. It is a serious, healthy relationship.

To keep this short so you don't have to read much, her parents don't like me very much (which I understand - new guy coming into their girls life on the most important year of her life...I would hate me too), despite my best efforts (and the fact that I've been pretty much a rock this year for her, in terms of being there when she started crying from the stress and other issues, cheering her up, forcing her to eat etc. - though they probably don't know all of these things, sadly....it's a pity all of use teenage guys are painted with the same brush! She does the same for me!).

Oh, I'm not doing a good job of keeping this short, sorry, probably just airing a grievance there ! Well anyway, her parents don't like me, and while it was our plan to go away together this Summer, she was refused permission, which again I understood and accepted - they are the parents, they're paying the bills. Fair enough, right ?

But now her parents have decided to allow her to go on holidays with her other male friends - under the provision that I don't come. She wants to go. The whole thing still really upsets me, and I'm not entirely sure why. She would be going with two guyfriends both of which she has been best friends for years, both of whom are quite obviously in love with her (I'm not a jealous guy, but sometimes these things are obvious - they both asked her out a few weeks before we started going out too, always a bit of a hint).

I'm annoyed, I'm jealous, I'm uncomfortable, I'm angry and I can't really talk with her about it because I realise I'm being unreasonable, but I just can't seem to get my head around it. I'm annoyed that I won't get to see her for ANOTHER two weeks of and already congested what could possibly be (if results go the wrong way) our last Summer in the same place. I'm jealous they get to spend the time with her and I dont. I'm uncomfortable because of her past history with these guys. I'm angry because...well I'm a guy and it comes naturally, I'll clench my fist and deal though...I am scared too, that she will go off, have the experience of a lifetime, decide there is more to the world and forget about me on the basis of this (I think its natural to have this in the back of your head though, I'm not so concerned about that I suppose). I'm also incredibly annoyed at her parents, letting her go with two friends on a fairly dangerous holiday, and like, if she were to go with me I would obviously always be making sure she was safe and feeling OK etc - they will not do this - which makes me concerned for her safety in addition to everything else (what happens if she misses a train and they go off without her ? - simple incident like that and she is on her own in a unknown, potentially dangerous, European city.)

But despite all my complaining I know I'm being immature, controlling (which I hate) and jealous in a wholely unindearing way so, PI, talk some sense into me please ?!

MagicMarker

Dublin boy wrote: »

But despite all my complaining I know I'm being immature, controlling (which I hate) and jealous in a wholely unindearing way so, PI, talk some sense into me please ?!

Normally I'd agree, but I actually don't think you're being any of these things. In fact, for an 18 year old, you come across as very mature and level headed, so fair play!

If this were a case of 3 friends going away together, I'd say you were being all the things you describe. But both these guys asked her out before you? Sorry man, they are not her friends, they can keep pretending, but it's just not going to happen, especially at the age they're at, they will always be thinking about her as more than a friend.

I'm not sure what you can do though man, I assume the holiday is being paid for by her parents? It's not like she can just decide when and where to go, so she's just probably happy with the fact that she's getting a holiday at all.

At the end of the day, do you trust her? Even on a drunken holiday with two teenage guys? If you do, then you'll just have to put up with it for the time being, as if you trust her completely then really, you don't have anything to worry about.

Just make sure you go on holiday yourself.

Jammyc

Completely agree with MM there.
That would drive me nuts, make it known how you feel, honestly.
Forget the parents from the equation completely, let her know that your tiff is with her, amd the other 2 guys. I would not let it happen, at all.

I know that sounds very controling, but thoughts can and will get the better of a man, even if he has been reassured.

Smyth

For an 18 year old, you've got your head screwed on.

I'll tell you what I take from this.

Firstly, a relationship works both ways. From the sounds of things, it's been tilting in her way. You're supporting her, helping her through her issues, grinning and bearing the parent issue. That's not a bad thing....as long as she steps up to the mark when it's her turn.

What's she doing for you? If this girl doesn't have the empathy to see that this would cause problems for you..if she doesn't have the maturity to put you over her parents pettyness..if she is so blindy naive as to think that going on a holiday with 2 fellas who are obviously attracted to her isn't a problem..then you are better off my friend.

I don't know this girl, but heed this warning. What may appear to you and me as naievity can sometimes be deliberate ignorance. Signs of this ignorance would be her not seeing a problem with the holiday, reassuring you that there's nothing there. It's time to take out my branding iron - but it's commonplace amongst girls that age. I've seen it ALOT.

I'm choking on words for you hear because I can't seem to wrap my head around HER actions. Where are her priorities? Ask her how she would feel in a similar situation. If two girls had been sniffing around you before you got with her, how would she feel if you were going off on a holiday with them?

If she says it wouldn't be a problem, you've got a couple of things to think out. She's either lying (this is where she'll play the deliberate ignorance card), she doesn't care about you the same way you do her, or she's actually that stupid. Now, you sound like a smart chap, but even the smartest can make bad decisions. I strongly recommend you re-evaluate this girl.

Tbh, she should tell her parents to stuff the cash, take the proposition as an insult to you, her and your relationship.

I don't like to **** on your parade, but the fact she hasn't doesn't speak volumes about her.

I hope I'm getting through on some level here. I hate to see decent people ****ed about.

eire77

is there any chance you can go on the holiday without her parents knowing?? even at a later date??

pwd

the friends who are not friends but wannabe boyfriends are always irritating.
Did you want to go away for the whole summer together? I ask because that could be a semi valid reason for her parents not wanting her to go, but being ok with her going on holiday for a week or two. Otherwise there's some big issues there.
Who's paying for the holiday? If it's not her, that raises a lot more questions.

You can handle this in a straightforward way, which will probably make you look like a prick. If you tell her your point of view, just like you did here, her parents, and her male friends, will make you out to be a prick for doing so.

You can handle it in a gameplaying kinda way. This means wrecking her head at least as much as she's wrecking yours. Don't let on that you give a crap about what her parents think or that she's going off on holiday with the guys who want to bone her. Pretend to be more interested in something else - like your own holiday without her, socialise with girls who want you to bone them etc etc. If you decide to go this way you will totally wreck your own head in the process, unless you are a total psychopath, and you don't seem like one.

Another alternative is to accept it. Act like you're ok with it, without the agenda of manipulating her emotions. This way will crush you a bit. Once you let yourself be crushed once, you'll find people will want to crush you more. It sets a precedent, and not just with your current gf.

Option 4 is just to dump her. She's wrecking your head. It will make all parties, including yourself, respect you more. You might want to consider the idea. It sets a precedent that you should be treated with respect, again not just with your current gf.

Helix

this is a good test, if she goes away and nothing happens thatll be a sign youre onto a good thing. if she goes away and something DOES happen, youll know shes probably not worth the effort

pwd

Helix wrote: »

this is a good test, if she goes away and nothing happens thatll be a sign youre onto a good thing. if she goes away and something DOES happen, youll know shes probably not worth the effort

I completely disagree with that.

1. How does he know nothing happens.
2. Even if she doesn't kiss someone else, she might be fully aware that they're after them, and possibly leading them on a bit. Not kissing them really just means she's wrecking their heads as well as her bf's.
3. Even if her friendship with the other guys is genuinely innocent, and the holiday is also genuinely innocent, she's still disregarding her bf's feelings, which shows a lack of respect or consideration.

Helix

re your last point, its always a 2 way street. she wants to do, he doesnt want to do. so its either her going against his feelings, or him going against hers

wasper

eire77 wrote: »

is there any chance you can go on the holiday without her parents knowing?? even at a later date??

Why should he be afraid to go on holidays in the open. Her parents are not paying for your keep. They already hate your guts so it can't get any worse.
But I have to question your GF's true feelings for you. She seem to be a selfish, wrapped in her own importance.
You should tell her that you are coming to on holidays too. If she protests then question her real motives for going with 2 guys.
Let us know what will be the outcome. Good luck with your exams.

Terodil

I agree: I think there's a point where you should stand up for yourself. You are (both?) 18, and the parents are clearly overstepping bounds here by trying to force their choices on you two.

I agree also that your gf should say clearly where her priorities lie. If she really loves you she'll do everything she can to be with you during these holidays, if her parents pay or not.

vorbis

You have every right to be annoyed here. Your girlfriend going on holidays alone with two guys who had both asked her out before is unacceptable in most relationships. I mean she has to know how much of a headf**k this would be for you. This is not about you trusting her, its about her not respecting you since she's actually going to go on this holiday.

Big_Mac

Dublin boy wrote: »

But now her parents have decided to allow her to go on holidays with her other male friends - under the provision that I don't come. She wants to go. The whole thing still really upsets me, and I'm not entirely sure why. She would be going with two guyfriends both of which she has been best friends for years, both of whom are quite obviously in love with her (I'm not a jealous guy, but sometimes these things are obvious - they both asked her out a few weeks before we started going out too, always a bit of a hint).

One thing here. She wants to go with these two fair enough, but you don't mention what her feelings are about you not going, or if she even wants you to go. If she doesn't then that answers that really doesn't it?

If she does, then there's nothing stopping you going on your own holiday and 'bumping into them' when you get there is there?

I'm also incredibly annoyed at her parents, letting her go with two friends on a fairly dangerous holiday, and like, if she were to go with me I would obviously always be making sure she was safe and feeling OK etc - they will not do this - which makes me concerned for her safety in addition to everything else (what happens if she misses a train and they go off without her ? - simple incident like that and she is on her own in a unknown, potentially dangerous, European city.)

I think you might be exaggerating things here. Firstly, no self respecting guy would swan off in another European country and leave a girl alone. Secondly, you say that they are obviously in love with her, so if anything they will be doing their best to woo her and be all nice and look after her and stuff to try to show her how much better than you they would be. I know I would if I was in their shoes. I'd see you as the competition. The thrill of the hunt can make you do ma things.

Sprouts

The only thing to do here is book yourself on that holiday, don't think for one minute these two boys won't be trying it on with your girl. This same old chestnut of 'just friends' between guys and girls keeps popping up. My head would be wrecked if my girlfriend was away alone with any two guys, I couldnt/wouldnt stand for it, no bloody way.

I don't think i've ever known a girl in that situation who didn't do the dirt. Sorry man.

pearcider

Why didn't/don't your parents like you again??? This is a vital piece of information you've left out. You really should be making the effort to win over the parents if you want this relationship to last. Or quite simply, it won't. And your girlfriend should be supporting you in this effort. By encouraging her to go away with other perhaps more suitable boys, her parents are really showing their hand (which make no mistake, is an overwhelmingly strong one). I suspect your girlfriend is fully complicit in this too. Not looking good for you lad. But keep your chin up; you've very young for a "serious relationship", about to enter college and you recognise you might be going to different places in September anyway so it is perhaps time to put the relationship in suspended animation for the time being.

Pub07

Its simple really op. As another poster said, book yourself onto that holidy too. Tell your gf but tell her to keep it quiet as you dont need these other guys hearing about it as then her parents will be sure to find out. Have you any reason at all not to book yourself onto it other than her parents opinion which Im sure you dont count anyway as if you did you wouldn't even be going out with her.

linola_c

Me and my other half have just read this guys dilema!So here's our take!

My take(Female's opinion) - she is being completely out of order!If she loved you she would never want to be apart from you for tat long and having all the fun that goes with the post leaving cert holidays!!Surely some sort of compromise could be made with the parentals - if the results work out, it will become pretty evident that you no longer were anything to be worrying about?
Also though, what's the story come september?College brings a lot of new things!You meet so many new people etc - and being in the same place can be of litle significance when u want 2 do new things!Im now in 3rd yr and had a boyfriend coming to college in 1st yr - I REGRET IT SO MUCH!it really did isolate m so much from everything!My advice overall, is get rid and go on lads holiday wit ur mates!Enjoy the summer and treat college is a brand new beginning!

Other half (Male's opinion)- Firstly, no parents are gonna like you!Your young and they are obviously going to be worrying that you pair are sexually active!So i wud say - don't worry about them that should come with time! As for your girlfriend she is obviously high maintenance-do u really want 2 be the shoulder to cry on ALL THE TIME when your getting no sympathy!it's ur leaving cert yr too-does that not count or anything?
As for the 2 male mates - i would not trust them personally. Put yourself into one of those lads shoes, you fancy the girl and you have her on holidays without her boyfriend. there will be drunken moments and plenty of opportunity to get with her!As much as u might trust her, i would not trust them!It just isn't fair - end of!If she goes on the holiday, take ur opportunity to start fresh in college!

Overall Opinion - Dumped if she goes and look forward to september 2009!

LegacyUser

Well I've spoke with her today lads, and found out the following :

In addition to her parents not wanting me to go, she says she is 'independent and going on a trip like this with friends is something she has always dreamt of', so even if I could convince them, she wouldn't want me there.

We were meant to be going to a festival together this Summer, but now she doesn't have the money (because of this trip), so thats out the window too.

I neglected to mention in the original post the following details in her favour though -

She asked me if it was OK a few days ago, and not really knowing what to say I said "yeah...I guess...". I didn't really know what to say though, I was taken off guard.

She HAS been friends with these two lads since primary school, and they are her best friends, despite having asked her out before I did.

These probably change peoples opinions a bit, I'm not sure.

I am thinking of pointing her in the direction of this thread just so she can see whats going on in my head, and how other people would feel in this situation, maybe put herself in my shoes ? What do you think ?

LegacyUser

Also, for the person wondering the parents have no proper reason to hate me really, I haven't done anything particularly bad, there was an incident with a misheard joke that I suspect didn't go down too well, but it was a misunderstanding, but aside from that I'm polite, hard-woking and while I'm not going to set the world alight academically, I'm smart enough. I suspect the hatred is borne from the fact that I'm completely new in her life and didn't know this girl up until two years ago, while the other lads, like the ones they have permitted to go away with her, have known her most of her life.

LegacyUser

"independent and going on a trip like this with friends is something she has always dreamt of"

According to the dictionary, "independent", means on your own. If she wants to travel, independently, then she should be going on her.

Is she aware of the fact that guys think with their penis*? And that these guys have shown interest in her before? Does she honestly believe that neither of these two, influenced by alcohol, would never make a move on her? These are the sort of questions i would be asking my girlfriend in this situation.

Since she has made it very obvious that she doesn't want you coming, I would start looking up Budget Travel magazines and asking my friends if they are interested in a lads holiday. Book yourself a guys booze holiday to somewhere sunny to celebrate. And if she has the audacity to question you and interrogate you, simply say, this is something you want to do and you would have invited her but she wants to be with her friends...

Maybe if she starts worrying you will do something, she might take a look at herself, and what you are going through...

Good luck!

linola_c

Changes nothing in our opinion!!

Agree with last comment!Turn the tables- see how she takes it!

How long have u been together- faithful?

CianRyan

Dublinladdie wrote: »

Well I've spoke with her today lads, and found out the following :

In addition to her parents not wanting me to go, she says she is 'independent and going on a trip like this with friends is something she has always dreamt of', so even if I could convince them, she wouldn't want me there.

The straw that broke the camels back man, usually, i'd be the one saying not to end thing over something to trivial but it seems to me, feelings between you are not on par, i.e. You feel a lot more for her than she does for you.


From one 18 year old lad to another, if i was to put myself in your position, i would be getting rid of this girl, from what i can hear, she doesnt sound good for you.
Giving you more to worry about more than anything else, and in this year of high importance...

Nah man, get rid of her.

Monkey61

Well I think we can give her the benefit of the doubt about the other two lads. If they have been best friends since primary school - fair enough. Just because they might try it on with her doesn't mean she is going to go for it. Surely if she wanted either of them she could have them any time, not just on holiday.

What I would find more worrying is the fact that she doesn't want you to go away with her. If you have never been on holiday together surely she would be jumping at the chance to go away with you. After all there is no need for the parents to find out. It does sound a bit like the parents are an excuse though. What kind of parents let their 18 year old daughter go away alone with two boys, but forbid her boyfriend to go?? Surely parents would be full of the stereotypical worries of what two 18 year old boys might be thinking of getting up to with their daughter, even if they have known them for ages.

I don't really know what advice to give you OP. I'd say book yourself a holiday at the same time with your friends. Show her that you are perfectly happy to be away without her either. The summer is months away in fairness. Who knows what will have happened between you guys by then. If you really want to be with her then bide your time. You don't need to dump her right now unless you want to.

It is strange that she wants to go on holidays without you - but then again, if it was a big girly holiday with her mates then it probably wouldn't be an issue. And perhaps she is just really close to her best friends and should be trusted, regardless of their gender. If she wants to cheat, she'll do it regardless - the holiday isn't going to make it happen. And even if she does go and it does happen, then you can be sure that at some point down the line it would have happened anyway, even if she hadn't gone.

pwd

Dump her.

Irishpimpdude

pwd wrote: »

Dump her.

Yea send her to dumpsville

MagicMarker

Any 18 year old girl I have ever known would want her boyfriend of a year and a half to go with her on holiday.

As for a trip like this with her friends being a ''dream'' of hers, I assume we're talking about 1-2 week holiday hear? What a load of arse tbh!

I'd certainly be suspicious of the fact that she doesn't want you to go with her.

LegacyUser

Let her go, be happy for her and trust her. Keep doing what you're doing i.e don't go against her parents and always be there for her. They will come around eventually, they are just being protective. If she is commited to you and really loves you she will stay faithfull. If those two lads are her life long friends then i'd say they will look after her. If she wants to go with two friends albeit male friends and without you then respect her and be happy for her. You'd should though be honest with her. Tell her how you feel but that you trust her and respect her and that you are happy for her to go.

Koushki

Coming from a girls perspective, and i'm 18 too and also have a boyfriend of one and a half years (however he isnt 18, he's a bit older) if i was to go away, with just two guy mates, who asked me out before - which obviously means they're attracted, i'd completely understand why you're upset.

And the way you guys were meant to go to a festival together but she can't now because instead she is spending her money on her ''dream holiday'' is bull.
Any dream holiday of mine would involve my bf. She obviously doesn't have much consideration for you because she doesn't seem to care about how you feel on the subject.

i wouldn't say dump her, just ask her to put herself in your shoes.
i guarantee you she would go ape **** if you were going away with two girls, and blowing her off about the festival thing to go away with them.

TEH REAL CDP

Dude, you're 18. Plenty of time for serious relationships down the line! You don't need this type of stress!!

You need to cut this loose and do it fast. There are plenty of fish in the sea, seriously! You may be reluctant but I've seen how these things pan out mate - you'll regret this if you keep it going.

Let her off with the lads. Then say goodbye for good. Go off and have fun with your own mates. Don't let pride stand in the way. She clearly doesn't give a rats ass - so why should you?

Holiday of a lifetime? Independence? I smell the **** of a bull and I'm a few hundred miles away my friend. You're better off not worrying about this crap. Trust me on this. I've seen stuff like this happen so many times.

Best of luck.

seraphimvc

pwd wrote: »

I completely disagree with that.

1. How does he know nothing happens.
2. Even if she doesn't kiss someone else, she might be fully aware that they're after them, and possibly leading them on a bit. Not kissing them really just means she's wrecking their heads as well as her bf's.
3. Even if her friendship with the other guys is genuinely innocent, and the holiday is also genuinely innocent, she's still disregarding her bf's feelings, which shows a lack of respect or consideration.

exactly.i mean,there wont be any of these problems if this relationship is mature enough.

OP,you are still very young,if you like her,hold on with her;if she wanna leave you after something happened,there is nothing you can do to prevent that.

stay cool and play calm if you want;or shout out loud anything you wrote here.eithere way,there is no guarantee she will/wont leave you.

insecure will always be an issue in a relationship,especilly the young ones

goodluck with that OP!!

p/s:
LC > love;)

Húrin

Dublin boy wrote: »

But now her parents have decided to allow her to go on holidays with her other male friends - under the provision that I don't come. She wants to go.

I think that if she resents this then she is more likely to stay faithful to you as a means of sticking it to her parents.

However, if the situation was reversed:

"But now my parents have decided not to allow my girlfriend to go on holidays with me, but I can go with my other female friends - under the provision that she doesn't come. I want to go."

Would you say to your parents that you refuse to go on holidays with your friends if your girlfriend couldn't go with you? If that is the case, then perhaps you should mention this to your girlfriend. It might give her a different point of view.

trentf

Who cares man.. honestly..get on with your life. Don't be sitting around wondering what shes doing. Nobody is worth doing that for especially not a woman.

Im not going to sit here and tell someone how to live their life and what to do but it strikes me as simple if your fretting so much over someone and what they do that is not a healthy relationship....one where you can trust your partner is, simple.

Put it to you like this if she does do what you are thinking then it's good to spot it early and ditch her. Dont ever run after a woman or worry what she does because they will let you down every time. Just have fun doing your own thing and if she does what she does frankly f))k her...dump her. Don't get angry, don't get bitchy, don't get jealous. Just calmly dump her and retain your dignity. You'll feel a hell of a lot better later and thank yourself for it. Remember you come first, you can only make amends with yourself in the end of the day. There's plenty more fish in the sea.

ShawnRaven

Kick to the curb! Then be thankful that you dodged a bullet a few weeks down the track. She practically told you that she doesn't want you there. Find someone who does want and appreciate you, cos this one clearly doesn't.

Terodil

Well, some things are to be fought for. I disagree with the previous posters about you 'being young, needing more experience, going out and having fun'.

The reason you should give her the boot should not be the fact that 'she's more stress than she's worth', it should be the eventuality that you cannot repair your relationship with both you and her giving it your best tries.

That said, I do think you really need to talk this through with her. I *feel* (i.e. don't know, but from what you wrote it appears to me as such) that she may regard your relationship as fun, but not as love. As previous posters said, if you truly love somebody then you'd never run off on a two-week holiday without the other, esp. if that means cancelling a joint holiday you had already planned.

YDMHSSB

only read the OP so forgive me if the other posts say the same/if thie was already answered.

2 things -

does she want you to go on holidays with her?

and

if she does, why dont you go anyway but dont tell the parents. if she wanted to go without you, id be a little worried.

Quigs Snr

She doesn't want you to go with her. If that is true then I doubt that you will even be an item come the summer. She will probably give you the old heave-ho mate before she goes.

Monitor the situation for the next while and see what way the wind blows. Have a good hard think yourself though... do you want to be in this ? It will be hard if you go your seperate ways in college. Especially at a younger age. Theres so many new things and so much freedom and temptation, she is probably thinking this way already. I found I could manage the long distance things better as I got older. At 18 ? Not so much.

LegacyUser

Howdy,

Me again. Sorry. I thought I was over this, but I am so livid right now I need help.

I was fine with this until she said in town today, while we were looking at movies in HMV and saw 'In Bruges' for sale "Oooh, we're planning to go there this Summer ".

I can't get over it. I don't know what to do, its making my stomach know right now, I've never felt this bad before.

We chatted about it after everything. She apologised a lot for being a bit of a b*tch about things, and said she'd reschedule so we could go to the festival together and such. She really apologised, like she felt really bad about things, but still really wanted to go.

I don't know how to deal with this. I know I'm being unfair but its knotting my stomach and I feel like I'm about to throw up. Everytime I see one of the lads now all I can think is how nice it would be to smack one of them. I never would, of course (not that kind of person), its just affecting me ! I'm not at all even slightly concerned about her cheating on me or anything, she's not like that, I trust her completely, its just....getting to me sometimes.

Help ?

Jammyc

Dublinerlad wrote: »

Howdy,

Me again. Sorry. I thought I was over this, but I am so livid right now I need help.

I was fine with this until she said in town today, while we were looking at movies in HMV and saw 'In Bruges' for sale "Oooh, we're planning to go there this Summer ".

I can't get over it. I don't know what to do, its making my stomach know right now, I've never felt this bad before.

We chatted about it after everything. She apologised a lot for being a bit of a b*tch about things, and said she'd reschedule so we could go to the festival together and such. She really apologised, like she felt really bad about things, but still really wanted to go.

I don't know how to deal with this. I know I'm being unfair but its knotting my stomach and I feel like I'm about to throw up. Everytime I see one of the lads now all I can think is how nice it would be to smack one of them. I never would, of course (not that kind of person), its just affecting me ! I'm not at all even slightly concerned about her cheating on me or anything, she's not like that, I trust her completely, its just....getting to me sometimes.

Help ?

Well, I guess if youve talked to her about it and she still persists, then you have to offer her an ultimatum.

Based on your posts and my similar experiences, I dont think you're being unfair.

Id ask her to chose either respecting your opinion of not wanting her to go, or she can be on her merry way (If you catch my drift).

Just my opinion, but I do feel for ya man, and I hope it works out for you.

sammyv

I could understand if she was going away with just a group of girls. She doesnt sound very nice, she hasnt taken you into account at all. Her parents are never gonna like you.

THis shouldnt even be an issue, she should have turned the holiday down if you werent able to go.

I wish i was 18 again, i wouldnt have made half the mistakes!!!

Enjoy yourself...head off to Oz, have a ball, life is to short to be worried about stuff.

LegacyUser

I am confused as to why her parents would prefer her to go away with TWO men rather than her boyfriend.

I do feel she has no regard for you whatsoever, would she like it if you went away with two girls who were sniffing round you and not only that, you didn't want her there anyway?

Sounds to me as if you can't stop this happening and as horrible as it is, I would seriously back off from her. If she wants you, she will have to do the chasing, you sound like a decent lad, whether her parents like you or not, she should show a hell of a lot more consideration for you.

bubblewrap x

linola_c

It now appears that she is deliberately trying to annoy you by bringing it up!!I honestly think she is playing you!!I agree with Orls81 - i wish i was 18 again and i wouldn't make half the mistakes i did!

U will regret this - she is playing you!!!LEAVE HER!

cowzerp

Unregistered wrote: »

I am confused as to why her parents would prefer her to go away with TWO men rather than her boyfriend.

Thats obvios, there trying to cause a rift.

This girl is only thinking of herself-book a holiday with the lads somewhere else and see how she likes it, or at least say your going too!

Personally i think she is looking for a way out..

Wagon

Dublinerlad wrote: »

Howdy,

Me again. Sorry. I thought I was over this, but I am so livid right now I need help.

I was fine with this until she said in town today, while we were looking at movies in HMV and saw 'In Bruges' for sale "Oooh, we're planning to go there this Summer ".

I can't get over it. I don't know what to do, its making my stomach know right now, I've never felt this bad before.

We chatted about it after everything. She apologised a lot for being a bit of a b*tch about things, and said she'd reschedule so we could go to the festival together and such. She really apologised, like she felt really bad about things, but still really wanted to go.

I don't know how to deal with this. I know I'm being unfair but its knotting my stomach and I feel like I'm about to throw up. Everytime I see one of the lads now all I can think is how nice it would be to smack one of them. I never would, of course (not that kind of person), its just affecting me ! I'm not at all even slightly concerned about her cheating on me or anything, she's not like that, I trust her completely, its just....getting to me sometimes.

Help ?

I noticed the duplicate thread and posted on that. I read this thread too and I'm going to change my opinion on it.

It's a simple solution. Ask her what he hell she is playing at and ask her is she just looking for a reason to dump you. Be outspoken when you do. Don't shout, but be confidant and brace yourself for the worst care scenario.

I'm not saying this to make you unhappy. But you come across as a sound lad and for an 18 year old, you have a good head screwed on your shoulders. I think you deserve a lot better than this shoddy treatment. She sounds like a bit of a bitch, and that wanting her independence thing is a posy excuse. With independence comes responsibility, and one of those responsibilities is considering others, especially her boyfriend.