Help

galwayrush

My neighbours cat won't go home, tried to put her out, she ain't moving.
How do i put her out. I think she's pregnant, last stages.

gurramok

Bark/growl like a dog?

Peyton Manning

Firstly, do you have any fireworks?

Secondly, just how far are you willing to go to teach this cat a lesson...

Red Hand

Leave her there until the morning. It is cold and it's only one night.

Get towels and hot water ready-you may have to midcat.

galwayrush

Fireworks.. I like it.......................feck, all out.:mad:

Havermeyer

Invite the local take-away owners around for dinner. When the cat sees who the guests are they'll scarper and never be seen again.

Peyton Manning

Well at least you didnt have to go out to get pussy tonight...

Rb

I take it you know the owner so why not just call/call over to them?

kingtut

cat problem....hmmm

FlutterinBantam

Boil a kettle, make the animal comfortable.

galwayrush

Midcat.. LMFAO......:D
Aw feck, if i leave her in, she'll **** somewhere.:(

Gummy Panda

Citrus

Apparently cats hate it.

galwayrush

Rb wrote: »

I take it you know the owner so why not just call/call over to them?

Don't get on with them, ferking arseholes.:rolleyes:

Abi

galwayrush wrote: »

My neighbours cat won't go home, tried to put her out, she ain't moving.
How do i put her out. I think she's pregnant, last stages.

Knock on the door and say "heres your pregnant cat".
/edit: like them or not.

Red Hand

Rb wrote: »

I take it you know the owner so why not just call/call over to them?

Abigayle wrote: »

Knock on the door and say "heres your pregnant cat".

It's not kooky enough.

/camp German accent

kingtut

shoot the cat. then put it at neighbour's door with a note that says "you owe me 1 bullet"

galwayrush

Just put her out the door, and she came straight in the window again. Kids opened the window, they think it's great craic.

galwayrush

kingtut wrote: »

shoot the cat. then put it at neighbour's door with a note that says "you owe me 1 bullet"

I'll keep the cat if i can shoot the neighbours.:cool:

CreepingDeath

galwayrush wrote: »

My neighbours cat won't go home, tried to put her out, she ain't moving.
How do i put her out. I think she's pregnant, last stages.

God is testing you, act like he's watching.

galwayrush

CreepingDeath wrote: »

God is testing you, act like he's watching.

He might be watching, but he ain't saying what to do.

Queen-Mise

galwayrush wrote: »

He might be watching, but he ain't saying what to do.

The cat has picked your house to have her helpless little kitties, rather than the horrible meanie neighbours house. I think you have your answer. God has decided your are going to be a daddy.

Congratulations. You may want to start thinking of names.

Rb

Ok, drown it.

Not only will it solve the cat problem, it will also teach both your neighbours and your children not to fuck with you. Three birds with one stone.

mike o

Aim towards your neighbours house and go for the conversion.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

It's going to give birth. Tonight. On your most expensive carpet. And how come we've gone eighteen replies or whatever it is without a single lolcat...?

CreepingDeath

Rb wrote: »

Ok, drown it.

Not only will it solve the cat problem, it will also teach both your neighbours and your children not to fuck with you. Three birds with one stone.

I wish someone would neuter you to stop the viral spread of your genetic material from continuing into the future.

AlmightyCushion

CreepingDeath wrote: »

I wish someone would neuter you to stop the viral spread of your genetic material from continuing into the future.

Banned.

@ ClioV6 - Why did you feel the need to thank this post?

galwayrush

Regarding my neighbour, she told my wife that her cat was raped by a tom cat a few weeks ago.her exact words, i kid you not.

galwayrush

Abigayle wrote: »

Thats just sick.

As in morning sickness?:rolleyes:

banshee_bones

Its freezing out! Please tell me your not going to put a poor pregnany kitty out in this weather. If you really dont want her, and neither does your neighbour bring her here to my house and il look after her.



I know this is after hours and maybe im being a tad sensitive here but this is a CAT we are talking about.

galwayrush

banshee_bones wrote: »

Its freezing out! Please tell me your not going to put a poor pregnany kitty out in this weather. If you really dont want her, and neither does your neighbour bring her here to my house and il look after her.



I know this is after hours and maybe im being a tad sensitive here but this is a CAT we are talking about.

Don't worry, the Cat's stolen my heart, she's staying.:)

Oops, she just farted.:eek:
Not as bad as my farts though.;)

Rb

banshee_bones wrote: »

but this is a CAT we are talking about.

Indeed, let's just be thankful that it's not something genuinely worth saving, such as a puppy.

banshee_bones

galwayrush wrote: »

Don't worry, the Cat's stolen my heart, she's staying.:)

Oops, she just farted.:eek:
Not as bad as my farts though.;)

Glad to hear it, maybe you could put her in your kitchen in a box with some newspapers or old towels , i imagine you would have tiles in your kitchen , easier to clean up any mess she might make, rather than ruining your carpet?

Red Hand

Rb wrote: »

Indeed, let's just be thankful that it's not something genuinely worth saving, such as a puppy.

Tsk...puppy's belong in fresh concrete, you should know that.:pac:

Cats are the bees knees.

banshee_bones

Rb wrote: »

Indeed, let's just be thankful that it's not something genuinely worth saving, such as a puppy.

what the hell is your problem with pets man?

galwayrush

Aw well, cat's curled up on the sofa.:cool:
Bloody hell, cat's are cute and cool.:cool:

Rb

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

Tsk...puppy's belong in fresh concrete, you should know that.:pac:

Cats are the bees knees.

Fresh concrete to make cute paw prints in, right?

Oh and no way do cats > dogs, I've two of both so am in a good position to comment!

banshee_bones wrote: »

what the hell is your problem with pets man?

Cats aren't pets, they're problems

The_Minister

banshee_bones wrote: »

I know this is after hours and maybe im being a tad sensitive here but this is a CAT we are talking about.

I know, it's an absolute disgrace how some people treat them, they are precious, delicate creatures, suitable for food or clothing.


@OP you may want to put down some papers to stop the afterbirth staining anything (I think).

banshee_bones

galwayrush wrote: »

Aw well, cat's curled up on the sofa.:cool:
Bloody hell, cat's are cute and cool.:cool:

+1


i miss my cats at home...

kingtut

since when is anything in AH meant to be taken seriously...

Sharpshooter

galwayrush wrote: »

My neighbours cat won't go home
, tried to put her out, she ain't moving.
How do i put her out. I think she's pregnant, last stages.

So......
You've been fiddling with the neighborhood pussy, and now there might be a pregnancy!!
She ain't moving.( You've already killed her),haven't you?
And now , you want AHs help.:cool:
You Knew she was pregnant.
You end your post with,last stages.

I pity the pussy in galway.:(
That is all.

Biggins

Tried contacting the neighbours?

SV

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Banned.

@ ClioV6 - Why did you feel the need to thank this post?

I lol'ed when I read it.
that's all.

Rb

Well I hope you found it as funny as I found the price you're looking for that banger :pac:

SV

Rb wrote: »

Well I hope you found it as funny as I found the price you're looking for that banger :pac:

I'd say I found it less funny than that now to be fair.

Sharpshooter

The_Minister wrote: »

I know, it's an absolute disgrace how some people treat them, they are precious, delicate creatures, suitable for food or clothing.


@OP you may want to put down some papers to stop the afterbirth staining anything (I think).

God furbid , you get stains on her coat, because that would be catastrophic.

Red Hand

Rb wrote: »

Fresh concrete to make cute paw prints in, right?

Oh and no way do cats > dogs, I've two of both so am in a good position to comment!



Cats aren't pets, they're problems

No.









That is all.

Red Sleeping Beauty

galwayrush wrote: »

My neighbours cat won't go home, tried to put her out, she ain't moving.
How do i put her out. I think she's pregnant, last stages.

2choices :

1. grow a pair and tell your neighbour to sort it out , and if they don't take the matter into hand and sort it out then you can go to the animal/pets forum and find out who you contact in these situcations
2. take a punt at the cat and kick it into orbit which will A) get the cat out of your garden and kill whatever rotten foetus is in it's womb.

sunshinegirl

galwayrush wrote: »

Aw well, cat's curled up on the sofa.:cool:
Bloody hell, cat's are cute and cool.:cool:

cats do rock, i mean they kill rats,mice and eat bugs,they dont require walking sure how bad. Suggest to the neighbour to the cat spayed she wont have unwanted kittens.Maybe you can take a kitten or two theyre great for kids and give them responsibility ie feeding them.Ah go on

Make sure the cat has some water handy

Sharpshooter

alan dunne 27 wrote: »

2choices :

1. grow a pair and tell your neighbour to sort it out , and if they don't take the matter into hand and sort it out then you can go to the animal/pets forum and find out who you contact in these situcations
2. take a punt at the cat and kick it into orbit which will A) get the cat out of your garden and kill whatever rotten foetus is in it's womb.

Barred from The Hartbreak Hotel.:mad:

khmk

thooomas!

http://backwardpresent.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/mammytwoshoes.jpg

no idea why the colour scheme

So, did it have its kittens?

I read through this whole thread expecting it to turn out to be a badger. I'm sorely disappointed.