How do I get my sex drive back?

LegacyUser

Another one person wants sex more than other thread! Sorry bear with me.

I have no sex drive anymore I'm 24 and my bf is 29, we're together about 5 years, living together about 2.5,
At the start of the relationship we were very adventurous, and could have sex 2 or three times in one session, once it was even 5!
But I'd say for the last year or so, maybe even a little more, I never really want to have sex, I don't know if i'm just too lazy or what, because when we do get going I enjoy it, but not the way I used to.
My b/f is so generous and attentive and would rather please me than just get in and out if you know what I mean!

Since we started going out I've put on about a stone and a half and I think this might have something to do with it, I have a really low opinion of my body image and not a lot of confidence body wise.

I don't even know if I'm making sense here sorry, it's just, I hate that sex is always only intiated by him, I want to want it before he does! I want to come on to him for a change, I know writing this I'm thinking so why don't I??

We're normally such good communicators, our relationship is so great every other way. We do still have sex about 4/5 times a week

I don't know, I was brought up in quite a conservative family, sex is never discussed and I never even knew girls could masturbate till I was about 16 and even still I've never tried to!
I used to get very turned on by him when we first started going out and I want that back

Sorry if I've just droned on but just want some advice, thanks for reading.

sardineta

You've hit the nail on the head with your weight: your body image is affecting you, but fortunately the solution is very easy - get cracking on the weight loss.

Kimbot

I agree with the above, if you are image consious then it is affecting you.
I think it is a case of you assume he doesn't find you attractive because you put on the weight but the truth of the matter is that no matter what he cares for you regardless of size.

partyguinness

It seems you are in a rut..not unusual but at least you want to do something about it..

Maybe a romantic break away..sexy underwear..toys..porn DVD...try introduce something new and see does that get the desire back..

shellyboo

The only sure way to increase your sex drive is to have more sex, unfortunately... I know, seems like an insurmountable task right now!

Some hugely personal questions - do you masturbate? If you don't, start. In the shower, if he's out, when you're alone... this will kickstart your sex drive and hopefully make you a bit more frisky a bit more often. A nice fancy vibrator can go a long wai in helping this... but do explain to your bf why you're buying it in case he finds it and goes off on one cos you're playing with yourself but not with him. Once you have the taste for it again, you can start initiating with your bf - but take it slowly.

You can't expect to go from 0-60 in a week, so make little goals for yourself, increasing the amount of times. It may sound like a bit of a chore, but unfortunately it's one of those things you just have to DO.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies guys.
He has said to me he thinks I was too skinny at the start, he says he loves me the way I am but I think I need to love me!
We've watched porn before but I just feel kind of silly
At the start of the relationship I used to buy sexy underwear all the time, I even gave him a strip one night it was great, I want that me back
I'm glad i've got it off my chest though, that's helped big time, thanks guys I'm gonna work on it
But keep the advice coming still :P

panelb/sprayer

i think you nedd to have a bit more confidence in your self a bit more you have to interact between your self and your boyfriend spice it up a bit if you know what i mean play flirty with him and get him going .bingo bongo the the willy role lol.

bicardi19

Dont know if youre in a gym or anything I always find when I go to the gym in the evening I always come home with more energy.;) Plus I feel better about myself too. I find if I sit around the last thing I want is sex, I just want to keep on being lazy.