Confusing date

LegacyUser

Right I posted a few months ago because I had messed up my chance with a girl I really liked by acting the eejit big time. She asked me to give her some time to get over it, which I did, even though I was dying to text her. Now we have never been a couple and don't know eachother very well, but have had a kiss and stuff.

I couldn't stop thinking about her, so I text her a little while ago, not really expecting a response, but I got one. I asked if she wanted to meet up and she said yes. Obviously i was hoping that something would happen, but thought there wasn't a hope.

So we met for drinks, I was very nervous and conversation was a bit awkward at times. Though saying that, the time did fly. I did feel, though it may have been paranoia, that I was making much more of an effort to keep the chatting going and asking questions. With a bit of dutch courage built up near the end of the night I thought, why not, and kissed her. Great stuff thinks I. Then we were chatting and she said that she really liked me, but she thought I should know that she has recently had her eye on some new lad at work, nothing has happened, and she doesn't know if it will, but she does like him. I asked her did she like him more than me and she said she didn't know at the moment. I appreciated her honesty and told her. I said that I really liked her but would see how it goes.

The rest of the night was great, lots of chatting and kissing and building snowmen on the walk home. We went back to her house - fun times ensued. And again in the morning. All great. Now we were very hungover and in a rush to get to work so I dropped her off at the bus stop, gave her a hug, kiss on the cheek,said goodbye without having the chance to ask many questions.

Now I really like her. More than I did before and really want to be with her. I know she likes me, but the mention of the other lad has me scared. When we first met it was her that was mad into me and I wasn't sure and now everything has been reversed. If it wasn't for the mention of the work lad, I would be planning a lovely date to ask her on - but I don't know if I should just wait for her to make the first move now. Can i try and win her away from him (even though he may not be interested in her at all, but she's lovely so why wouldn't he be) or was that her way of saying don't push it?

Aargh I don't know what to do. After missing my chance with her before I don't want to mess it up again by putting too much pressure on her to chose me. I'm hoping though that since she brought me home and all that, it might be swaying her affections towards me.

Right so do I proceed as normal and ask her out on a date next week or is that too forward in light of what she said about the work fella and will it just chase her away?

shellyboo

Confused09 wrote: »

If it wasn't for the mention of the work lad, I would be planning a lovely date to ask her on - but I don't know if I should just wait for her to make the first move now. Can i try and win her away from him (even though he may not be interested in her at all, but she's lovely so why wouldn't he be) or was that her way of saying don't push it?

Aargh I don't know what to do. After missing my chance with her before I don't want to mess it up again by putting too much pressure on her to chose me. I'm hoping though that since she brought me home and all that, it might be swaying her affections towards me.

Right so do I proceed as normal and ask her out on a date next week or is that too forward in light of what she said about the work fella and will it just chase her away?

Fight for her! Proceed as normal with the lovely date, don't hang back or she'll think you're not interested. Show her that you WANT her to choose you, and show her that you're worth choosing as well, despite your initial mistakes. Don't play it cool on this one, I think you should be wearing your heart on your sleeve - you want it, so go get it.

LegacyUser

Is this other work fella real??
Is it possible that because you messed up the last time round that she didnt want to be seen to be committing to you to early in your relationship. So she invented this other bloke as her way out if she wanted out?

If he is real then forget about the above and ask her out..... try win her over the work fella....alls fair in love and war and all that!

Liam Byrne

Unregistered wrote: »

Is this other work fella real??
Is it possible that because you messed up the last time round that she didnt want to be seen to be committing to you to early in your relationship. So she invented this other bloke as her way out if she wanted out?

If she plays those types of games then you're better off without her....

Supra lover 87

Have you in her taughts the whole time.

Give her a text the odd time to have you in her mind ask her to help you out shopping for clothes this weekend and if that goes well ask her would she like to go out to the pub or the cinema lateron.

Woman love shopping and she can have a look at you in nice clothes and have her thinking about ya when and after your doing it.

Dave147

Was in a similar situation before with some girl who turned out to be a complete psycho, she was seeing me but said she was with another fella before and wasn't sure who she wanted.

I wish I saw the warning signs but didn't. I told her in no uncertain terms to make up her mind fast and I wasn't waiting around for her to mess me about. She chose me pretty quick, if you really want this girl then be assertive but don't wear your heart on your sleeve, not a good idea this early.

Jesus Juice

Feckin' girls and their mind games....id bet she was unsure of you liking her as much as you were unsure of her liking you!!!i think you should just keep building up contact and dates....she will forget about this ''other lad'' pretty lively!!

Pigman III

Show you want her more than that lad at work, convince her you're the daddy! If you truely like her, I'm sure you'll have no problem doing that! Go for it!

LegacyUser

Op here again. I just thought I'd give an update -just to vent maybe because I'm a bit upset.

We went out again, all the texting to arrange it was quite enthusiastic and I was very excited. We went for a walk and had some food. I was a lot less nervous so we were chatting away grand. After dinner I offered to get her a drink and she said that she was just going to head home as she was really tired. I was disappointed but walked her to the bus stop. When we got there I asked if she wanted to come back with me as I didn't want the night to end just yet. She said no, but said to walk for a bit more. When we got to the last bus stop I asked her if she was sure she was going home. She said not to tempt her because she really needed to get some sleep. It was all a bit flirty so I asked if I could kiss her.

She said she was still trying to figure out the whole situation in her head and gave out to me for making her have awkward conversations when she was sober. She said that if she was drunk she would come back with me in a second, but she didn't think she should if she was considering the consequences because it might seem like she was leading me on. I was a bit crushed, but this was still all very good humoured and flirty so I said I didn't mind. She asked if I really didn't mind and I said no. She thought about this and said that she supposed that was what people always said in those situations anyway.

I know I should have told her to feck off, but I felt all becoming lost and just wanted to make it better. Then she said she was coming with me. We chatted away on the walk about when we first met and stuff. We got home and had a glass of wine and chatted away for about an hour until she suggested we go to bed. We did and great fun was had, but when it was over she moved about as far away from me as she could and fell asleep - no hugs, kisses etc. I was up early for work the next morning. We had sex again - initiated by her - still no kissing. I wanted to have a chat but she fell asleep again so I didn't get a chance.

It's hard for me to get my head around because I would never consider sleeping with someone, entirely sober and more than once if I didn't even like them enough to kiss them. It's a horrible ending, because she's not acting at all like she did when we first met and she was mad about me. I can't stop thinking about the way she looked at me when we first kissed and how much I want that back. I know I'm acting like a fool if I chase her more - but why is she doing this? Would it be that hard for her to like, not have sex with me if she doesn't have any interest in me?