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my boyfriend and I

  • 04-02-2009 3:12pm
    #1
    mynameis..
    Closed Accounts Posts: 51 ✭✭


    hi, this is something i have 2 discuss...
    my boyfriend and I have been 2gether over 6 years. we love each other very much. we met when we were both young, have been together ever since, albeit with our ups and downs. however, sometimes i cannot work him out... he can get so thick with me over nothing or go out with his mates every week one night a week with out me. sometimes we have aggressive arguments which are over nothing, (me being aggresive 2ward him)... am i mad or is this normal?


Comments

  • #2
    Warmaster
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 134 ✭✭Warmaster


    It's normal, I have yet to see a couple that never fights actually stay together so some fighting is normal that's not to say you should fight all the time, keep in mind it's january and it's not a very happy month for anyone so you may fight more than normal.

    remember you're both adults, just tell him how you feel and ask him not to get angry etc


  • #3
    *Lees*
    Closed Accounts Posts: 491 ✭✭*Lees*


    No it's not normal to get aggressive with your boyfriend for nothing!!

    He goes out with his friends once a week without you? Is it that you have a problem with this?:confused:


  • #4
    mynameis..
    Closed Accounts Posts: 51 ✭✭mynameis..


    yes i have a problem he doesnt go out with me sometimes, but im more worried that i am getting too over anxious and over reacting to him. sometimes when he comes home after a nite out i feel so bad toward him that i start a fight, i start to accuse him of being unfaithful even tho in my heart i know he hasnt... aaah am i messed up?


  • #5
    JaneyMc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,420 ✭✭✭JaneyMc


    Going out once a week without you is perfectly normal and you don't really have a right to pick fights with him over it. Does he do the same to you when you go out with your friend without him?

    If you do not trust him you should not be in a relationship with him.


  • #6
    sardineta
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 145 ✭✭sardineta


    Not so much messed up as inexperienced/immature. Be assured however, that if you can't figure out how to get over it, he won't be your problem for much longer.


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  • #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    mynameis.. wrote: »
    sometimes we have aggressive arguments which are over nothing, (me being aggresive 2ward him)
    It's only an "aggressive argument" if both sides are being aggressive. If it's just you, then it's nagging, verbal abuse, whatever. One night a week is nothing; do you think he would complain if you spent one night a week with your friends? Or accuse you of being unfaithful just to put you on the defensive?


  • #8
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    mynameis.. wrote: »
    yes i have a problem he doesnt go out with me sometimes, but im more worried that i am getting too over anxious and over reacting to him. sometimes when he comes home after a nite out i feel so bad toward him that i start a fight, i start to accuse him of being unfaithful even tho in my heart i know he hasnt... aaah am i messed up?
    Yes you are.

    If you keep accusing him then one day he might just do it.


  • #9
    LolaLuv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭LolaLuv


    Hmm. I think you know the problem isn't that he goes out. You're going to have to do a little self-analysis and figure out what's really bothering you. Are you jealous of his relationship with his friends? Do you fear he's getting bored of you? Is he not giving you enough attention? Whatever the reason is, you have to figure it out quick because I don't think many guys would tolerate aggressive fighting every time they go out with their buddies for long.


  • #10
    mynameis..
    Closed Accounts Posts: 51 ✭✭mynameis..


    uh i feel totally arsey about this now, i think i can be quite insecure becos the next day everything will be ok, do u think counselling is what i need becos i dont want to be like this. dnt tell me 2 talk2 my boyfriend becos i do explain but he may not be as bothered as i am bout it


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