To anyone who was ever dumped!

LegacyUser · 03-02-2009 5:48pm #1

how do ye get over it and move on? I'm finding it very hard to forget and move on. any suggestions what i could do????? thanks

Wibbs · 03-02-2009 6:25pm

Accept what you had is over.

Accept that you will feel pain.

Accept that this pain is in your own head and heart, albeit driven by an outside source.

Realise that this pain is under a lot more control and can be shortened more than you think.

Realise that this emotional disaster as it feels now, is actually an opportunity to focus on you and your life.

Finally, realise this pain though acute will pass.

LegacyUser · 03-02-2009 7:49pm

its not that easy just to accept. it's hard.

LegacyUser · 03-02-2009 7:56pm

finding something to keep yourself distracted for a while is another common tactic. to make sure you don't have time to think about the bad stuff that happened.

Sanjuro · 03-02-2009 7:57pm

It's gonna be hard for a while. It's still raw, and like an open wound, needs to be left alone rather than messed with. You live with the pain, but each day, it gets easier and easier. May take a week, may even take a decade. But as the time passes, the pain diminishes. And then one day, you feel completely better. Good luck!

Nevyn · 03-02-2009 7:59pm

Unregistered wrote: »

its not that easy just to accept. it's hard.

Life is hard and so are many things that need doing or are worthwhile doing.

littlebug · 03-02-2009 8:19pm

Keep reminding yourself that you were ok in life before you even knew the person existed.... and so you will be ok again without him or her in your life. As the others said the acute pain will fade in time. Keep yourself busy, spend lots of time with friends and it will gradually get easier. Take care.

LegacyUser · 03-02-2009 8:32pm

For me the first time really came as a massive dent to my self confidence. For about a year I wasnt the same until my friends had a word with me and made me snap out of it. Its tough but you need to accept what you had is over and it does get easier everyday. Do not let it consume your every thought though. Move on, focus on other interests. The pain will pass. I now think back at why was I such a mess at the time because now I look at relationships in a whole new light and can easily accept when something is over.

InkSlinger67 · 03-02-2009 8:33pm

Any time you find yourself thinking of your former OH stop yourself.....instead, picture them squatting down, bags around their ankles while taking a dump behind the local pub.

You'll never think of them in the same light again!

LegacyUser · 03-02-2009 8:44pm

haha - that kinda works

for now anyways made me laugh thinking of them in that way

LegacyUser · 03-02-2009 9:16pm

Ha - I will think of that

LegacyUser · 04-02-2009 12:54pm

Unregistered wrote: »

how do ye get over it and move on? I'm finding it very hard to forget and move on. any suggestions what i could do????? thanks

Forget about the idiot! I'm guessing you are in the early stages of the break up...I was dumped recently as well. I thought my world had fallen apart until I realised what an asshole I had wasted time on. You'll be fine in a couple of months, less. Trust me, it won't take up to 10 years as suggested by another. When you get to the stage where you hate them and see them for what they are, you'll feel a hell of a lot better. By that stage you just won't care about them anymore and you'll be happy and better off without them. You don't need luck - you have a brain, use it for your own good :-)

Don't stay friends with them cos they are not your friend. Cut contact.

fifomania · 04-02-2009 5:33pm

So corny, but time really is a good healer.
In my experience, I always try to keep out of the exes way for a while and try not to meet socially or whenever.
It's easier said than done but if you can think of any other things you have going for you in your life and try to be positive, eventually it will probably make a huge difference!

LegacyUser · 04-02-2009 5:44pm

OP, go on a "intensive" period of looking at photos of you together, things that remind you of them and other such memorabilia(?). It'll upset you at first but then it should be ok.

I took the softly softly, ahh I'll forgot and be grand in a while.......

while it did happen and we are on speaking terms it still "throws" me a bit. So I'd say face it head on. take the turmoil, you'll be better off in the long run. And do as the others have suggested also, get back on the horse as it were.

To anyone who was ever dumped!

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