Confused

LegacyUser

Hello all. I have a small issue and I’d appreciate your advice.

I was out with some friends recently & all was well until we were walking home and we met some lads messing on the street. They weren’t causing any hassle just your normal Sat night antics running amok. As we were walking up the street they bumped into one of my friend a few times and he told them to go away...one of them went into a rage and followed us screaming up the street. We kept walking quickly and quietly but he wouldn’t leave. My friend knew him so we turned around to see what was up. He then pushed me very hard and I fell backwards hitting my head off the pavement. It was a bad fall as I’ve bad cuts & bruises on my left arm, leg and on my body.

I know it’s not a bad assault but just over a year ago I was very badly beaten after a night out. I had bad head injuries and was rushed to hospital by ambulance after it. It was very traumatic and I’m still not really over it.

I’m so sick of these people who think they can just hit someone so casually and get away with it. I have a brief blank about the time of the assault so I can’t remember who pushed me. My friend is concerned that local people will talk if she makes a statement & identifies the lad in question. I just feel so hurt and let down by her that she actually cares more about what a few gossiping locals say over my welfare. Especially after I told her lots of personal stuff about how the previous attack affected me.

I’m really confused because I don’t know what to do. Am I over reacting? I know she’s in a difficult position because the lad is from the locality but it’s not fair. People shouldn't be let away with these things.

Advice appreciated.
Thanks!

gerTheGreat

First off, I have to say that you clearly have had a terrible experiance which I'd couldn't pretend to know about. Being rushed to hospital must have been awful.

You need to calmly make know your feelings about the whole thing to your friend. She has clearly upset you and you sound like you feel left down.

By the sounds of it, you're from a small=ish town. Would there be CCTV on the streets? If not, it may be difficult to get any sort of prosecution, especially if your friend won't help.

I don't particularly like that sort of behavior myself, but part of me keep thinking "f them, they're drunk idiots". If your friend won't help, maybe you should talk to these guys, that is assuming that you know them well enough to be sure that they are normally decent people. Explain how you feel. At the very least, you'll get an apology. It may not be what you feel they deserve, but maybe it's the best course of action.

Vada

Would you not contact the gards and complain that a group of lads were causing trouble on whatever street it was and you were injured as a result and see what they say. You might feel better for it.

Your friend may be genuinely worried about speaking out if they are troublesome locals.

I wouldn't bother speaking to fellows who pushed you btw. No decent person would knock someone to the ground purposely they aren't worth your time.

LegacyUser

I did contact the Gardaí. They have no cctv of it.

I don't actually know the guys myself at all so I can't & don't want to talk to them, my friend knows them to see as they live in the same area, and the Gardaí said since I have no recollection of who knocked me to the ground they have no grounds to prosecute as I can't identify him.

She said she wasn't afraid of being attacked or intimidated by them but she's afraid of being known as the one who grassed this guy up.

You think you have friends and when times get tough.

Craft25

in defence of your friend.. if she is from a really tough area then she may just be doing the practical thing... in a perfect world these dicks would be nothing, but it is not perfect and she may very well be putting herself(&her family) in danger by going to the police.

we all like to get justice when we are wronged in this world.. but it more often doesnt come too quick.. that is when we begin to put our faith and hope in karma and such..

If you feel she is a good friend otherwise then why lose her?? try to understand her side.

LegacyUser

Do you honestly think that I haven't looked at it from her point of view?? Well I have.
She's not from a really tough/rough area. The lads aren't rough.
I asked her if it was because she was afraid of them hurting her, she said no, it was gossip she's afraid of, which isn't a good enough reason.

1stuey1

are u a man? grow some balls lol and stand up to him next time u see him, bet he wont bother u again and u might even gain come confidence!

bikki

1stuey1 wrote: »

are u a man? grow some balls lol and stand up to him next time u see him, bet he wont bother u again and u might even gain come confidence!

Have you ever had a proper kicking? I mean a proper one where your helpless to do anything and someone is dancing on ur head?

Im guessing you havent because you havent got a bloody clue what it does to somebody. It effects them for years and sometimes the rest of there lives. It completely distroys there confidence and when faced with a similar cercumstancs they just crumble in fear.

LegacyUser

1stuey1 wrote: »

are u a man? grow some balls lol and stand up to him next time u see him, bet he wont bother u again and u might even gain come confidence!

What can you do? hit them? and then you end up in worse ****

look at this thread
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055477049

Davei141

betterone wrote: »

Do you honestly think that I haven't looked at it from her point of view?? Well I have.
She's not from a really tough/rough area. The lads aren't rough.
I asked her if it was because she was afraid of them hurting her, she said no, it was gossip she's afraid of, which isn't a good enough reason.

Jesus you damn right that's not a good enough reason.

You think you have friends and when times get tough.

As you said man. I guess it takes certain incidents to really find out who your mates are

who007

eh? A scuffle that ends in memory loss isn't a real attack?? Grow up!

OP, ditch the friend and find someone else to hang out with - she sounds liek an idiot and yes you'd be correct in finding that kind of lack of loyalty hurtful. She sounds like an idiot who only thinks about herself. You can't count on her to have your back so what if something else happens in the future that's more serious? What if it was a rape? Would she then not want to point out the attacker cos she might be tarnished by association?

If it's a small town then it already has it's idiot - no need for you to be the idiot's sidekick..

and sorry to hear that happened to you - it's sickening

Bottle_of_Smoke

Live and learn mate. She obviously doesn't think much of you if she's more concerned about being in the good books of lads who start unprovoked attacks.

Give her the cold shoulder. Find a new mate.