Stay single or not?

LegacyUser

Ok, this isnt really a problem or anything, am just looking for some advice.

Background is, im 24, broke up with my ex girlfriend of 6 years around this time last year.
Was devestated but quicky moved on when i relaised how much fun the single life could be.

Luckily a lot of my mates started to become single around the same time, so we were all in the same boat. So we booked loads of weekends away to the Uk and other places, when home would go on mad ones all weekend with the prime goal of scoring birds, getting numbers etc and basically having the time of our lives (this last year has without doubt been the best of my life).

But now im falling for a girl bigtime, we have such a laugh and i really like her, we've gone on about 6 dates and i spent the whole weekned with her.....but as much as i like her i dont want to give up on my current lifestlye with the lads. Im having to much fun and to be honest think I would find it hard to go out with the lads and not go chatting up birds etc. But i really like her and think i would kick myself if i let her go.

We had a "talk" earlier and discussed the whole are we boyfriend/girlfriend thing, i said id like to leave it a little longer and see how things go...which she was pretty shocked about as we had had such a good weekend, but im just not totally sure yet.

Any advice, should i grow up and go steady with this girl, or should i enjoy the rest of my youth and live the single life some more?

PS my firends are terrified at the prospect of me having a girl! They see it as the beginning of the end for our mad fun....

Liam Byrne

Unregistered wrote: »

But now im falling for a girl bigtime, we have such a laugh and i really like her, we've gone on about 6 dates and i spent the whole weekned with her......But i really like her and think i would kick myself if i let her go.

Sounds good so far....

Unregistered wrote: »

PS my firends are terrified at the prospect of me having a girl! They see it as the beginning of the end for our mad fun....

If they met someone in the morning that they felt the same way about, would they keep that on the long finger in order to keep up the heading away with you ? Imagine if they did, in a week or two's time, and you'd let this girl slip through your fingers in the meantime.....where would you be then ?

A relationship doesn't have to be all-consuming. You've said yourself that you spent the whole weekend with her, without the lads, and you enjoyed it.

Imagine - none of the lads there, and you enjoyed it.

And while that's great, it wouldn't happen (or doesn't have to happen) EVERY weekend. She'll have weekends where she wants to head off with the girls, and you with the guys.....that's all normal.

You'll also probably have weekends where your friends meet her, and you meet her friends....and you never know - maybe two of them might hook up and ye can head away as a foursome......another new angle.

So stop making excuses and ask yourself if you like her or not; if you do, go for it, but keep contact with your friends too.....it's not an all-or-nothing scenario.

Abi

If you think its likely you would cheat on her, then dont string her along. Id say the answer to the boyf / gf question was like a slap in the face for her. Try to consider her here.

And think for youself, your friends shouldnt come into it.

p28559

one of the most important aspects of a relationship is having your lives intertwined while still having your own friends.

to my mind you should progress the relationship but not to the exclusion of either your friends or hers.

no reason why it wouldnt work....except for the chatting up other women...while you can have your cake an eat if you do you should expect to wake up one day with a cream pie in your face....

jim o doom

Nobody can really answer this question but you.

It boils down to one simple question.. Which thing is more important to you?

A meaningful relationship, or going out partying and living the single life. Remember the chance you have with this girl might not come along again.. or just as possible, she might just be another fish in a big sea..

If you think you are going to be unfaithful if you get with her, then there is no point going out with her. But you can still go out with friends & have fun when you have an OH.. you just don't get to go out scoring any more..

CDfm

Unregistered wrote: »

Luckily a lot of my mates started to become single around the same time, so we were all in the same boat. But now im falling for a girl bigtime, we have such a laugh and i really like her, we've gone on about 6 dates and i spent the whole weekned with her..

...but as much as i like her i dont want to give up on my current lifestlye with the lads.

We had a "talk" earlier and discussed the whole are we boyfriend/girlfriend thing, i said id like to leave it a little longer and see how things go...which she was pretty shocked about as we had had such a good weekend, but im just not totally sure yet.

PS my firends are terrified at the prospect of me having a girl! They see it as the beginning of the end for our mad fun....

Very blokish. Let me ask you this -if one of the lads got a G/F would they jump at the chance.The thing is people do pair off and groups do fall apart very quickly.Do you think the guys will ask you when they settle down. Of course they will. They will call a group meeting and you will have a big chat and remind each other what fun you have. NAHT.

You had been in a long relationship and have hit the dating world like a young bull out in the field for the first time.

No wonder she was shocked- you spend the weekend with her presumably shagging - and say- eh I like ya but I think I will wait n see if someone nicer comes along. You really did respect her in the morning.NAHT.

Funny enough I dont think you are ready for a relationship anyway. From what you say -you may already have blown this one out on the sincerity scales. Others have and will point this out to you.

I was tempted to say that you are immature and shallow. Thats probably not true. More then likely you are a follow the crowd kinda guy and thats cool as long as there is a crowd to follow.

gary the great

Man i think you know you aernt ready for a realtionship.

if you admit before going into a relationship while sitting in front of a computer sober that you may cheat, then when your pissed out of your head with your mates scoring birds on a weekend away, you ARE going to cheat.

Give it some more time...if your having so much fun then why change? You seem to be able to get girl easy enough so dont go rushing into relationships if your not ready.

little red

to be honest it doesn't sound like you are ready to be in a relationship again. its understandable that you are enjoying the single life after a longterm relationship but you need to decide if this is what you still want. if you really believe that you would be out flirting with other girls then its not fair on this girl, however keep in mind that a few weeks/months down the line your friends may start relationships and you could be left wishing you'd taken the chance with this girl when you had it

LegacyUser

just readin this thread here and it is exactly the same situation i am in as well. Im 24 and met someone as well a few months back but im still not too sure if its time for me to settle down with this person. Im thinking i should be still out enjoying myself with my friends as the social life seems a bit sh*te when its just me and the gf headin out each weekend. I know people will come on here and say you are not mature enough for a relationship and thats their view, but my arguement is that i am mature and i know that i would like to still meet lots of new people before i settle. The gf is really nice but ji honestly think i just have not sparked with her really- how do i tell her without hurting her as i regard her as a very good friend still

CDfm

Unregistered wrote: »

The gf is really nice but ji honestly think i just have not sparked with her really- how do i tell her without hurting her as i regard her as a very good friend still

Life isnt always Prince Charming and Cinderella and there are no white chargers.

Split up by all means - if she is not the one for you then dont drag out.But dont expect to meet better and dont be too impulsive to split either.

Dont have regrets about it or doubts.

A few months back a girl told me of a dating experience she had where she told the fella that he didnt pay her enough attention only to hear back that he didnt fancy her. I laughed as she is a bit much.

So dont get too caught up on being Gods gift just yet.