An Article for the newspaper,suggestions greatly appriciated

Mario007

Declan Ganley thinks European for a change

Not even a year has passed since we witnessed Declan Ganley’s movement Libertas outmatching the three strongest Irish parties in the Lisbon Treaty referendum. A result which may have surprised some, angered others and certainly didn’t do well for Ireland’s image abroad. Now Mr Ganley is back with a somewhat more European agenda.
Just a couple of days ago Libertas have announced they’re setting up a branch in Poland. This branch is to compete in the EU Parliament election later on this year. Libertas is planning to win a couple of seats in the elections with their very own agenda- euroscepticism. Already preparations are underway as Mr Ganley has pointed out: “In all countries where Libertas sets up branches, election coalition will be created to draw up common list of candidates.”
In fact this process is well underway in the Czech Republic, where Libertas branch has been set up a few weeks ago. The leader of the local branch is a man called Vladimir Zelezny. Mr Zelezny, a member of the European parliament, has apparently done so without Mr Ganley’s approval, but the two seemed to be getting on quite well, seeing that the spokesperson of Libertas.ie, Mrs Anita Kelly has already confirmed the Czech branch as a part of the global Libertas party.
I would like to stop and talk a bit more about Mr Zelezny, however. To say that his ambition in politics are those of personal benefits would be an understatement. Mr Zelezny has entered the world of politics after being persecuted for various tax offences in Czech republic. He became a senator and this earned him immunity to the laws of the country and thus he was able to escape any charges brought against him. He later continued to become a member of the European Parliament, yet again escaping the tax evasion charges. A person with such a doubtful political career and character is surely a great addition to the Libertas team.
In fact the process of setting up the Czech branch of Libertas is something that arouses quite a lot of suspicion. Surely we all remember the visit of the Czech President Vaclav Klaus, who met with Mr Ganley and spoke of this meeting as something informal, and overruled by his own curiosity. How very surprising it was that at the December Convention of the party where he was an honoured leader, ODS, Mr Klaus decided to leave ODS and instead promised to set up his own eurosceptic party- Libertas. Though officially Mr Klaus is not a founding member of Libertas, because of the law in Czech republic prohibiting an active role of a president in any political party, his voiced opinions of the European Union and even the refusal to hang the EU flag in the Prague castle strongly reflect the ideas of Libertas.
After all this one must ask oneself, what is Declan Ganley’s ambition? Was he using the Lisbon Treaty to test out his strength as a political figure? Or is he genuinely interested in Ireland’s position in European Treaty and the way it is run?
It is not difficult to answer these questions, as we see a man desperately trying to set up a party that’s fully European with the only aim of getting into the EU Parliament. Surely no man would try to join something that he despises? Surely.



[all rights reserved. Copying ideas or any part of the above article will be considered plagiarism]

magicass

Mario007 wrote: »

[all rights reserved. Copying ideas or any part of the above article will be considered plagiarism]

lol. As if.

Mario007

magicass wrote: »

lol. As if.

well i had to put something down to be funny, even in something serious as this:D
so what did ya think?

Antilles

When I saw this thread was one of yours, OP, I scrolled down to the last line and read that first. I assumed you were going to trot out another one of your "funny" endings, maybe call Ganley a transexual.

Glad to be surprised. Your writing style isn't half bad. Your argument is way off, since Libertas have repeatedly stated they are not eurosceptic, but your prose is definitely an improvement on your poetry.

Mario007

Antilles wrote: »

When I saw this thread was one of yours, OP, I scrolled down to the last line and read that first. I assumed you were going to trot out another one of your "funny" endings, maybe call Ganley a transexual.

Glad to be surprised. Your writing style isn't half bad. Your argument is way off, since Libertas have repeatedly stated they are not eurosceptic, but your prose is definitely an improvement on your poetry.

haha cool, glad you're getting accustomed to my style:D
and thanks for the comment, i appriciate it, though i've read today that they are eurosceptic, thats what spurred this article:D

Reilly616

Great article. Very informative and well formatted. There's a couple of tense based grammatical errors which I'll point out in class tomorrow, but other than that this is a solid piece. As for the content, I don't know enough to argue with it, but it seems reasonable enough. Good job

rockbeer

Mario007 wrote: »

Declan Ganley thinks European for a change

Not even a year has passed since we witnessed Declan Ganley’s movement Libertas outmatching the three strongest Irish parties in the Lisbon Treaty referendum. A result which may have surprised some, angered others and certainly didn’t do well for Ireland’s image abroad. Now Mr Ganley is back with a somewhat more European agenda.
Just a couple of days ago Libertas have announced they’re it is setting up a branch in Poland. This branch is to compete in the EU Parliament election later on this yearin June. Libertas is planning [would hoping be better here?] to win a couple of seats in the elections with their its very own agenda- euroscepticism. Already preparations are underway as Mr Ganley has pointed out: “In all countries where Libertas sets up branches, election coalition will be created to draw up common list of candidates.”
In fact this process is well underway in the Czech Republic, where a Libertas branch has been was set up a few weeks ago. The leader of the local branch is a man called Vladimir Zelezny. Mr Zelezny, a member of the European parliament, has apparently done so without Mr Ganley’s approval, but the two seemed to be getting on quite well, seeing that the spokesperson of Libertas.ie, Mrs Anita Kelly has already confirmed the Czech branch as a part of the global Libertas party.
I would like to stop and talk a bit more about Mr Zelezny, however. To say that his ambitions in politics are those of personal benefits would be an understatement. Mr Zelezny has entered the world of politics after being persecutedprosecuted for various tax offences in Czech republic. He became a senator and this earned him immunity to the laws of the country and thus he was able to escape any charges brought against him. He later continuedwent on to become a member of the European Parliament, yet again escaping the tax evasion charges. A person with such a doubtful political career and character is surely a great addition to the Libertas team.
In fact the process of setting up the Czech branch of Libertas is something that arouses quite a lot of suspicion. Surely we all remember the visit of the Czech President Vaclav Klaus, who met with Mr Ganley and spoke of this meeting as something informal, and overruled by his own curiosity. How very surprising it was that at the December Convention of ODS - the party where he was an honoured leader - Mr Klaus decided to leave ODS and instead promised to set up his own eurosceptic party - Libertas. Though officially Mr Klaus is not a founding member of Libertas, because of the law in Czech republic prohibiting an active role of a president in any political party, his voiced opinions of the European Union and even the refusal to hang the EU flag in thePrague castle strongly reflect the ideas of Libertas.
After all this one must ask oneself, what isare Declan Ganley’s ambitionintentions? Was he using the Lisbon Treaty to test out his strength as a political figure? Or is he genuinely interested in Ireland’s position inregarding the European Treaty and the way itthe community is run?
It is not difficult to answer these questions, as we see a man desperately trying to set up a party that’s fully European with the onlysole aim of getting into the EU Parliament. Surely no man would try to join something that he despises? Surely.



[all rights reserved. Copying ideas or any part of the above article will be considered plagiarism]

Not bad - an interesting angle, and it's useful to tie up some of the links between what's going on in Ireland and the broader European perspective.

Aside from the grammatical errors and other suggestions I've marked above, I have to say I found your style a bit patchy in places. Do you mind me asking, is English your first language?

"To say that his ambitions in politics are those of personal benefits would be an understatement."

"Surely we all remember the visit of the Czech President Vaclav Klaus, who met with Mr Ganley and spoke of this meeting as something informal, and overruled by his own curiosity."

These turns of phrase just don't quite sound like natural English. I'm not sure overruled means what you seem to think it means, and "the ambitions of personal benefits" is a bit vague to say the least.

"How very surprising it was that at the December Convention of ODS - the party where he was an honoured leader - Mr Klaus decided to leave ODS and instead promised to set up his own eurosceptic party - Libertas. Though officially Mr Klaus is not a founding member of Libertas, because of the law in Czech republic prohibiting an active role of a president in any political party, his voiced opinions of the European Union and even the refusal to hang the EU flag in the Prague castle strongly reflect the ideas of Libertas."

This is very awkward and clumsy. I would consider rewriting it completely. Something like:

"Mr Klauss surprisingly chose the December Convention of ODS - the party where he was an honoured leader - to announce his intention to leave and set up his own eurosceptic Libertas party. Officially he cannot be a founding member of the new party because Czech Republic law prohibits the national President from taking an active role in party politics. His voiced opinions of the European Union, however, and even his refusal to hang the EU flag in Prague castle, strongly reflect the ideas of Libertas. "


Do you have an outlet in mind for this?

One last point: you do understand that there's no copyright on ideas don't you?

busted flush

rockbeer wrote: »

Not bad - an interesting angle, and it's useful to tie up some of the links between what's going on in Ireland and the broader European perspective.

Aside from the grammatical errors and other suggestions I've marked above, I have to say I found your style a bit patchy in places. Do you mind me asking, is English your first language?

lmfao:D:D:D:D:D

Reilly616

busted flush wrote: »

lmfao:D:D:D:D:D

I don't get it... what's funny there?

And rockbeer, just to save time clarifying for him. No, English isn't his first language. He's just enviablly efficient at his second.

magicass

Reilly616 wrote: »

I don't get it... what's funny there?

And rockbeer, just to save time clarifying for him. No, English isn't his first language. He's just enviablly efficient at his second.

You are at it again do you only respond to marios and your own work. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Antilles

Mario007 wrote: »

haha cool, glad you're getting accustomed to my style:D
and thanks for the comment, i appriciate it, though i've read today that they are eurosceptic, thats what spurred this article:D

Oh, and don't call me Shirley.

Reilly616

magicass wrote: »

You are at it again do you only respond to marios and your own work. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I respond to the ocasional other poem if it takes my fancy. Thanks for asking

Mario007

rockbeer wrote: »

Not bad - an interesting angle, and it's useful to tie up some of the links between what's going on in Ireland and the broader European perspective.

Aside from the grammatical errors and other suggestions I've marked above, I have to say I found your style a bit patchy in places. Do you mind me asking, is English your first language?

"To say that his ambitions in politics are those of personal benefits would be an understatement."

"Surely we all remember the visit of the Czech President Vaclav Klaus, who met with Mr Ganley and spoke of this meeting as something informal, and overruled by his own curiosity."

These turns of phrase just don't quite sound like natural English. I'm not sure overruled means what you seem to think it means, and "the ambitions of personal benefits" is a bit vague to say the least.

"How very surprising it was that at the December Convention of ODS - the party where he was an honoured leader - Mr Klaus decided to leave ODS and instead promised to set up his own eurosceptic party - Libertas. Though officially Mr Klaus is not a founding member of Libertas, because of the law in Czech republic prohibiting an active role of a president in any political party, his voiced opinions of the European Union and even the refusal to hang the EU flag in the Prague castle strongly reflect the ideas of Libertas."

This is very awkward and clumsy. I would consider rewriting it completely. Something like:

"Mr Klauss surprisingly chose the December Convention of ODS - the party where he was an honoured leader - to announce his intention to leave and set up his own eurosceptic Libertas party. Officially he cannot be a founding member of the new party because Czech Republic law prohibits the national President from taking an active role in party politics. His voiced opinions of the European Union, however, and even his refusal to hang the EU flag in Prague castle, strongly reflect the ideas of Libertas. "


Do you have an outlet in mind for this?

One last point: you do understand that there's no copyright on ideas don't you?

thanks rockbeer, thats very helpful. I really appreciate it:D
yeah english isn't my first language, to answer your question.
and yes i do get that about the copyright, just wanted to sound a bit formal for a while:D

Mario007

Antilles wrote: »

Oh, and don't call me Shirley.

i may be just slow, but i didn't call you Shirley, i'm pretty sure of that:D

Mario007

magicass wrote: »

You are at it again do you only respond to marios and your own work. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

thats mario007 to you, dear sir:D

oh and i havent seen a comment about the piece of writing i posted here from you so far, you're only creating unneccassary disputes here which i'd rather keep away from my threads:D

Antilles

Mario007 wrote: »

i may be just slow, but i didn't call you Shirley, i'm pretty sure of that:D

Ahem.

Surely no man would try to join something that he despises? Surely.

Insect Overlord

Ahem, it's a joke from the movie Airplane!

Black Swan

Mario007 wrote: »

Not even a year has passed since we witnessed Declan Ganley’s movement Libertas outmatching the three strongest Irish parties in the Lisbon Treaty referendum.

Looking for more punch in the first sentence to draw the reader in.

Sarky

Mario007 wrote: »

thats mario007 to you, dear sir:D

oh and i havent seen a comment about the piece of writing i posted here from you so far, you're only creating unneccassary disputes here which i'd rather keep away from my threads:D

Your smug comments are not helping matters. I've already warned you about that. I won't warn again.

Mario007

Sarky wrote: »

Your smug comments are not helping matters. I've already warned you about that. I won't warn again.

i was merely trying to get a normal reaction. as you can see i've started to take posting here more seriously.

Mario007

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

Looking for more punch in the first sentence to draw the reader in.

cool! thanks for the suggestion, i'll try to redo it a little

Homicidal_jesus

To lazy to quote but just refering back to post#16 clearly surely and shirley are different words or am i mistaken?:pac:

busted flush

Homicidal_jesus wrote: »

To lazy to quote but just refering back to post#16 clearly surely and shirley are different words or am i mistaken?:pac:

clearly you are devoid of a sense of humor.

Homicidal_jesus

busted flush wrote: »

clearly you are devoid of a sense of humor.

only when i want too!

Antilles

Homicidal_jesus wrote: »

To lazy to quote but just refering back to post#16 clearly surely and shirley are different words or am i mistaken?:pac:

No, you're Homicidal_jesus, but that's not important right now.

DublinWriter

1. Learn to paragraph.

2. Don't start sentences with presuppositions/contractions/conjunctions.

3. Don't write in the first person if you're not writing an 'Opinion Piece'.

Mario007

DublinWriter wrote: »

1. Learn to paragraph.

2. Don't start sentences with presuppositions/contractions/conjunctions.

3. Don't write in the first person if you're not writing an 'Opinion Piece'.

hey thanks, i completely forgot not to put in the first person, so thanks for that:D
i think the paragraphs are actually good enough, how would i make em better?

Madou

Sentences are not sharp enough to be a news article - concision is key, and I found that some sentences were floundering.

You chop and change between the third and first person, it reads like an editorial at times, this threw me

Think objectively, sentences like - "To say that his ambition in politics are those of personal benefits would be an understatement" - are not helpful. Relay the facts and let the reader decide for themselves. Objectivity is a myth, but one shouldn't be so overtly bias.

Also, if you're talking about Declan Ganley, you should talk about the pyramid scheme he setup in Albania; robbing pensioners of their savings; or equally, the arms-dealers he calls allies in Bulgaria. Check out the 'Primetime' investigation on him, I'm sure it's somewhere on the web.

Mario007

Madou wrote: »

Sentences are not sharp enough to be a news article - concision is key, and I found that some sentences were floundering.

You chop and change between the third and first person, it reads like an editorial at times, this threw me

Think objectively, sentences like - "To say that his ambition in politics are those of personal benefits would be an understatement" - are not helpful. Relay the facts and let the reader decide for themselves. Objectivity is a myth, but one shouldn't be so overtly bias.

Also, if you're talking about Declan Ganley, you should talk about the pyramid scheme he setup in Albania; robbing pensioners of their savings; or equally, the arms-dealers he calls allies in Bulgaria. Check out the 'Primetime' investigation on him, I'm sure it's somewhere on the web.

thanks thats actually very helpful, i will most certainly check it out!

Homicidal_jesus

Antilles wrote: »

No, you're Homicidal_jesus, but that's not important right now.

i thought jesus was always important:(especially when he is killing!:p:pac: