I'm vanilla

LegacyUser

Ive been going out with my GF for about a year. She has alot more relationship/sex experience than me, in fact I would say most people do -I didnt lose my virginity until 22 and you could count the amount of partners Ive had on one hand. Our sex life is great, or at least I thought it was until we started talking about fantasies- the subject of threesomes came up and we both have it as a fantasy, but now she's bringing up the idea more often and to be honest the reality of it freaks me out.

Now i know its probably on the top of every mans wish list but I am absolutely freaked out about it. Some of the lads i know have had threesomes and I just want to figure out if this is my problem or not, how common is it? Ive always been miles behind other people when it comes to sex- I have no idea what is considered run of the mill/kinky or whatever. Im defintely "vanilla" in that Ive only ever had sex in a bed, with one woman and no accessories. What is the norm? Am I a prude?

Sometimes I think Im missing out on life, like everyone else is out there having all this wild sex and Im missing out but then, like I said, it kind of freaks me out. Is this my problem ie should I try to get over my sexual hang ups to keep my GF happy??

LegacyUser

i dunno how common it is but probably not all that common. but it really doesn't matter a damn. if you're not into it then you should just tell her to stuff it.

maybe i'm just being a paranoid old bastard here but if she keeps bringing this up then maybe she just has some sort of an urge to shag someone else. which could be a bad thing

starchild

Thats a difficult one for you as tbh you wont know how you feel about it until you try it

i think the more casual the relationship the easier it is to experiment as its not going to bother you as much seeing your gf with someone else

i had a semi serious year long relationship with a girl i worked with and we tried the threesome thing with one of her female friends a couple of times and yeah it was awesome, jealousy did not come into it as neither of us were head over heels in love with each other

having said that i could not have participated in it if it was another man so you prob need to think about that side as well

i would imagine that if your feelings for your gf are strong strong it could prove difficult seeing her with someone else

overall though its pretty cool that you and your gf get on well enough to talk about you sex life to that extent

best of luck whatever you decide

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

What is the norm? Whatever you want. Are you a prude? No.

Generally speaking, anything goes when it comes to sex as long as all parties are consenting and it's relatively safe.

A threesome is a bit of a jump, though. I'd advise trying smaller more adventurous stuff first. Do it in different rooms, different positions, tieing each other up, blindfolds. Stuff that you can easily say no to or undo if it's not doing anything for you.

And experimentation is fun, too!

LegacyUser

I dunno, I suppose I'll give you the same advice I'd give a woman: don't let her pressure you into something you don't want, and if she doesn't accept that, she obviously doesn't care about you very much. Might be best to

Your taking a hope skip and boundless leap, assuming that just because she has a fantasy she wants to act it out.
It is quite possible that she feels the same way as you, when you come right down to it.
Often that is what makes a fantasy mentally stimulating, that it crosses your line.

And no, you should never do something sexually that you are uncomfortable with to please another.

Beruthiel

OP
It's as simple as this. Never do something you are not comfortable with.

kayos

Jumping from vanilla (tbh that to me means one position once a week in the bed and no funny business) to group sex be it 3 or more would be a huge bloody jump and it is not something you should do just to keep your OH happy. While it might be a fantasy are you sure she actually wants to try it out for real? Maybe just talk about it in the bed room and the mental stimulus is what she wants. Honestly never do something you are not comfortable with, above all people your OH should understand and accept this.

Maybe try and spice things up at home between the two of you maybe the talk of a 3some will go out the door if your 2some is more exciting than before. Get some toys, do it on the kitchen table, do it out doors what ever takes both your fancy’s. A happy sex life is good for a relationship.

ClutchIt

I know this sounds like i'm just being macho or what but OH MY GOD where do people find these women that actually WANT to have threesomes ahhhhh!!!

but if you don't want to do it then don't.

Bottle_of_Smoke

I think the whole thing is fraught with potential disaster.

First up. There's no way in hell I would allow another man have sex with my girlfriend. I'd be sick at the thoughts of it.

If it were another girl, obviously the jealousy factor isn't there for me but I know my girlfriend would not like it. What if you have more fun with the new girl? How can that not affect your relationship?

I admit, it would be a great ego trip and definite future wankbank material, if it was a casual relationship, but as for serious relationships, I'd stay well clear.

Dudess

Beruthiel wrote: »

OP
It's as simple as this. Never do something you are not comfortable with.

True when it comes to stuff that you just would not enjoy. However, don't let embarrassment or nervousness stop you from doing stuff which you'd actually like to do.

From a personal point of view, I would suggest, if you don't use your mouth that much, then do so! Use of the lips, tongue, teeth (gently!) on all areas of the female body - I'd be surprised if there was any woman who wasn't driven utterly wild by it. We're wired to be turned on by stimulation nearly everywhere, not just the genital area.

And don't be too harsh on yourself - calling yourself "vanilla" etc. People who are primarily concerned with how good or adventurous or impressive others think they are in bed (rather than simply just enjoying the experience whatever it entails) strike me as quite insecure, boring and self-obsessed.

jessbeth

I don't consider you a prude. I mean live and let live but don't be made live how you don't want to live.