Older posters Guidance

LegacyUser

Hi,

Sorry a similar thread about odd thirty something single person

Hoping older posters may be able to give me very simplistic advice on pretty minor “problem” 34 year old male lives alone. Monday to Friday I keep busy with different clubs and associations.

I have always been single, which has never really bothered me over the last 6 years or so, I enjoy my independence, I had over the years made several attempts to ask for girls out etc but now I can’t really be bothered as the outcome was always disappointment.

The advice I need is that in one of the associations I am involved in, there is a girl I like, I think she may be attracted to me however as I have no experience with girls I have absolutely no idea, I would see her looking at me etc, however lately that has stopped ands as I didn’t strike while the iron is hot she may have moved on. – ask her out I hear you say, however I enjoy this social outlet and don’t want to look stupid if the answer is no and the awkwardness.

So the question is how do you know when someone is attracted to you? (getting a date of course is a whole new thread)

Sorry for the adolescent questions, reading my message I must strike you as somewhat odd, but I am pretty normal in every way, get along very well with both sexes, I think I am an ok person no better or worse than the next guy, it’s just the way life has turned out

dyl10

Sorry for answering, I'm not really an "older" poster but from experience you never know if someone really likes you unless they approach you.
Otherwise, you just have to stick your neck on the line and be brave. If you get a good vibe off her, I'd just ask her if she'd be interested in meeting up sometime.

MagicMarker

Why not strike up a conversation? It doesn't have to end with you asking her out. Just keep things casual, the more you get to know her the more you'll realise if she's ''into you'', or not.

Beruthiel

Unregistered wrote: »

So the question is how do you know when someone is attracted to you?

You don't always know.
You are now at an age where you know you're not going to live forever.
You know that you can stay a shrinking violet and miss out on life or you can grab the bull by the horns and try something new.
Fear can be very debiliting, but when you try something new and it doesn't kill you it's an exhilarating feeling.

You're old enough not to be holding yourself back anymore.
Ask her out, she may say yes, but if she says no, you're not going to die.

username123

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi,

Sorry a similar thread about odd thirty something single person

Hoping older posters may be able to give me very simplistic advice on pretty minor “problem” 34 year old male lives alone. Monday to Friday I keep busy with different clubs and associations.

I have always been single, which has never really bothered me over the last 6 years or so, I enjoy my independence, I had over the years made several attempts to ask for girls out etc but now I can’t really be bothered as the outcome was always disappointment.

The advice I need is that in one of the associations I am involved in, there is a girl I like, I think she may be attracted to me however as I have no experience with girls I have absolutely no idea, I would see her looking at me etc, however lately that has stopped ands as I didn’t strike while the iron is hot she may have moved on. – ask her out I hear you say, however I enjoy this social outlet and don’t want to look stupid if the answer is no and the awkwardness.

So the question is how do you know when someone is attracted to you? (getting a date of course is a whole new thread)

Sorry for the adolescent questions, reading my message I must strike you as somewhat odd, but I am pretty normal in every way, get along very well with both sexes, I think I am an ok person no better or worse than the next guy, it’s just the way life has turned out

Hi OP,
Sometimes you know if someone is attracted, sometimes you dont. The only way to find out is to strike up conversation, get to know each other a bit better and then suggest a meeting outside of the group youre involved in - if she goes to that then she probably likes you more than a casual hello.

Re awkwardness and looking stupid if she says no - thats in YOUR mind. Think of the shoe on the other foot. If I approached you through a club we were both in and I asked you out, you think Im a nice person but you are not attracted to me because I have glasses/dark hair/light hair underweight/overweight/smoker/non smoker/too tall/too short/too old/too young etc..... Doesnt matter what the reason is - the point is that you just dont dig me, although you think Im nice to talk to. Do you think I should feel stupid because you turn me down for a date? Of course not!!! Unfortunately not everyone finds me attractive - thats just life. It does not mean I should feel stupid. Sure I might feel a bit sheepish the first couple of times I see you again, but that passes and all thats left is a memory that once I asked you to go for a drink - its not like I declared my undying love, I asked you to share a drink - thats it!!!

So the point is - no need for feeling stupid or awkward if you get turned down asking her out - thats the risk you take asking someone out, but, and its a big but - she might just say yes!

BTW you dont sound odd to me, I know a number of guys your age with exactly the same lifestyle as you - and nothing is ever going to change for them either unless they grab the bull by the horns.

stovelid

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi,


So the question is how do you know when someone is attracted to you? (getting a date of course is a whole new thread)

You don't always know for sure, but trust your intuition.

If you have detected interest, trust the feeling. Just act more friendly and try and strike up a conversation - nothing major. You say you detect a lessening of her attention; maybe she thinks you're not interested? Being friendly to her will allow you to gauge the signals a little better, while letting her know you are approachable, without making a big deal of it.

LegacyUser

Go for it!

Start up a coversation about movies.... then feign wanting to see a particular movie but your friends have already seen it the weekend you were away buliding tree houses for poor children or whatever, then ask her does she want to see it with you?

Easy Peasy and if she says no, hopefully if she likes you she'll suggest something else.

Go forth and conquer!