Is it weird that I sometimes prefer to do things alone?

LegacyUser

I have a husband and two sons that I love dearly. Sometimes, though, I need to get out of my very loud house and hear myself think. I like to see a movie by myself, or maybe go to bookstore, have a cup of coffee in a cafe, that kind of thing...completely alone.

Of course I have female friends with whom I socialize but there are times when I actually prefer to do these things alone. My husband thinks it's "weird." I grew up as a single child, so I am used to spending stretches of time alone. He had many siblings...

Am I normal?

neuro-praxis

Yes. You're an introvert.

LegacyUser

Yes, it's normal. You value your alone time - it's a good thing

Pherekydes

Introverts are normal.

So are extroverts.

Isn't it great that there are different types of people?

Yes, OP, it's normal to want to do some things on your own.

Trinity

Unregistered wrote: »

I have a husband and two sons that I love dearly. Sometimes, though, I need to get out of my very loud house and hear myself think. I like to see a movie by myself, or maybe go to bookstore, have a cup of coffee in a cafe, that kind of thing...completely alone.

Of course I have female friends with whom I socialize but there are times when I actually prefer to do these things alone. My husband thinks it's "weird." I grew up as a single child, so I am used to spending stretches of time alone. He had many siblings...

Am I normal?

I think thats actually a great thing. You would be surprised how many people would actually fear the thought of doing these things alone or would be embarrassed, including myself

Everyone needs time to themselves its really important and at least then when you do decide to spend time with others its not out of being dependant on others but out of actually wanting to be in someones company!

herya

Yes you are completely normal. Everyone needs a chance of pace sometimes and some space & distance.

starchild

totally normal

i get the same thing, i love being on my own, ill go on holidays on my own if i can but it does get the partner fairly riled now and then as for some people its hard to understand

GAAman

Hell yeah, i spent a good few years alone and dont have much me time now with relationship and uni etc but still make time for myself just to sit on my own and watch a dvd or walk or something. Every body needs me time or they will burn out

You are lucky you have a choice, alot of people out there who would love the company and to not be alone are, so be thankful and keep takin me time

Karen_*

If your husband said you were a chair would you be asking us were you a chair? I fail to see how anyone could think going for a coffee on your own or watching a film is wierd.

Orizio

To me at least, you sound perfectly normal. People who can't go ten minutes of their life without talking to someone on the other hand...

Forget about the introvert/extrovert tags; people need a balance between being social and having some solitude.

Agent J

Normal.

Its all about balance and being happy in your own company*




*or getting away for a bit so you dont leave a trail of bloody corpses....

littlebug

If you're weird then I am too:D In the evenings when the kids are put to bed I just love when I discover that we're almost out of milk. Instead of going to the shop that is 5 minutes walk away I drive four miles and just sit in the car by myself listening to music and reading a paper/ mag. My husband never asks why it takes me an hour to get milk:o
Heaven to me is having a day off where I can go to town by myself and browse in bookshops/ drink coffee/ read the paper without anybody expecting me to talk to them/ get them something/ cook for them/ play with them etc. Hasn't happened in quite a while:(

Alicat

Totally normal

Last year I rearranged my work hours so that I now have a day off mid-week and it's one of my favourite days. Everyone else is in work, so I can wander downstairs, enjoy a nice long breakfast with lots of tea and spend the rest of my day doing whatever I want, maybe going for a walk with the dogs or curling up on the sofa with a good book or having a potter around the shopping centre (much quieter on a weekday morning!)

The weekends can be so hectic, everyone wandering in and out of the house all day, people needing lifts everywhere, tv blaring etc. My boss asked my recently would I consider changing back to my old hours and I told her "Not a chance!"

Everybody needs their own personal time and space, otherwise we'd all go mad

Gu3rr1lla

Im the same. I've so many friends but i dont want to hang out with them i'd rather be a loner

its rather cool actually look up henry david thoreau

Whispered

I don't even have kids and I love to get away from everyone for a few hours. I usually buy a book, go to the cafe above the bookshop (in Naas) and could sit there for 2 hours drinking coffee (and eating cake) and reading my book. It's great!

Not only is it totally normal, it's very healthy to be able to enjoy your own company. You're absolutely entitled to that without being made to feel "weird".

Reesy

Normal. As it happens, so is my wife (who I love) so we both like it if she goes out for a few hours, or I do. Sometimes I go off on the mountains for most of the day. Brilliant.

What's really going on here? Control? Mistrust? Something else?

MIN2511

You are very normal....

There are millions of us out there

Ah, on Sunday i saw 3movies by myself!

JackieO

Me too!

Love being on my own. I've lived on my own for over 3 years now and its great. Have a few spare bedrooms so I've had numerous visitors over that period that have stayed from anything from a night to a couple of months. Found it particularly difficult to have people staying at all to be honest and after a couple of months I was pulling my hair out for some peace. This is no reflection on the people themselves but just that I missed having the place to myself.

Everyone would say to me isn't it great that I had a bit of company and I would be afraid to admit that actually NO, I didn't really appreciate the company. Guess I know now that this is normal.

On a separate note, since I met my other half - I can't get enough of his company and I'm split between loving being on my own but also missing him............I'm presuming that we are still in the honeymoon period.

Handsome Bob

Unregistered wrote: »

I have a husband and two sons that I love dearly. Sometimes, though, I need to get out of my very loud house and hear myself think. I like to see a movie by myself, or maybe go to bookstore, have a cup of coffee in a cafe, that kind of thing...completely alone.

Of course I have female friends with whom I socialize but there are times when I actually prefer to do these things alone. My husband thinks it's "weird." I grew up as a single child, so I am used to spending stretches of time alone. He had many siblings...

Am I normal?

You're normal. I used to be like you and fret about doing things on my own due to what other people might think. But then I actually realised that I am much more of a confident person when I'm out on my own and not surrounded by familiar dominating personalities.

Just strike a healthy balance between your alone time and socializing with friends, that's what works for me.:)

LegacyUser

Totally normal.I live with my boyfriend now, but I've 3 sisters and I always needed my own time and space. When we go on holidays with a group of friends say, which I really like doing, I still always find myself trying to spend some time on my own, just to kind of get my head together.It's completely normal and probably saves your sanity!I doubt it's anything really to do with being an only child, you'd probably be the same with a lot of brothers and sisters.I still find myself wanting to be on my own once or twice a week, even thoguh there's only one other person in the house.

keefg

As long as you don't start drinking (booze) alone then there's nothing wrong with some "me" time.

Dublin_Gunner

Seems like most people like to have some 'me' time!

I love having time to myself, to do the things I like, or to just do nothing at all, either way, I can enjoy my own company.

Its perfectly normal, and IMO a very important and healthy thing to do for your own mind & sanity.

There's nothing better than just getting away, with no-one bothering you, and just relaxing. I love to go for a nice long walk, stick on my iPod and just go. I feel so refreshed afterwards, its great!

Sugar Drunk

not wierd at all. However some people will always find it odd - they are probably the type who strugle to do things by themselves or to be alone.
I love nothing more than to sit by myself absorbed in a book. I used to often go to lunch in a cafe and sit down enjoying my own company with my nose in a book or magazine.

I often read at lunch in work at my desk and get so irritated when people insist on coming up and talking in your ear - im not reading because i am a loner and have no one to talk to - im reading because I want to!

I am quite an extrovert person in company but for years I was single so even now in a long term relationship I like to have some alone time.

John Mason

the sign of a happy person is someone who can spend time by themselves without having people and things to distract them from their unhappy thoughts!!!

i went to Australia, for a year, by myself and i have to say it was the best thing i ever done. 18 hours on a bus by yourself - you can sort out a lot of ****e in your head.

i also do a lot of long haul flights, always by myself. i cant bear people talking to me on a plane, thats my time

i love going to the cinema by myself, going for long walks and drives. if i dont get enough quiet, me time. i get very tense and uptight. how can you relax with other people rabbiting in your ear the whole time.

tell your husband to try it out, he might enjoy it too

Dragan

Personally i think it's a good thing OP. It hints that you have some very good ways for dealing with the little bits and big bits of stress that life can bring your way.

Alone time is good because it allows you to switch off, do something random and just be in your own head for a while.

To put it this way, me and my girlfriend life together, but occassionally we like our own space. This just means going for a walk, or shopping on your own or something like that.

It's good for you.

fatmammycat

Completely normal, I'd crack up I didn't have plenty of time alone.

Daithio

Totally normal. And forget about the introvert extrovert tags, alot of people (myself included) don't fall into either category.,

LZ5by5

LZ5by5 wrote: »

But then I actually realised that I am much more of a confident person when I'm out on my own and not surrounded by familiar dominating personalities.

jesus that's exactly the view i have but couldn't put into words.

love my own time aswell as time with others.. it's good to strike a balance. mine tips more in the direction of introvert.

shakenbake

OP, a couple of resources and books I found very useful were:

Myress briggs personality test, google it, it'll take you about 20mins to complete and is fairly accurate in my experience. You can then google your result and view many peoples research on your personality type.

Books: Introvert Advantage, The Loners Manifesto ... forget who the authours are!

It's been said that the introvert desire to spend time alone and in their own head is due to the fact they 'recharge' themselves this way ... the opposite of how an extrovert does it (the majority of people in society). Most of the doubt in you about its normality, is probably due to the fact that extraverts simply don't understand why you'd prefer to eat your lunch alone and in peace, or spend the weekend screening your phone calls and doing your 'own' thing. As has been said lots of times, it's perfectly normal

Loopy

Im the same - find the hustle and bustle of family life very draining sometimes and love nothing better than time out ALONE.

Its gotten to a point where I enjoy sitting in traffic, blast a CD, cup of tea and a fag.. Bliss:)

tantipie

i'm the same,,i love to go off on my own also.think husband thinks i dont like his company but really it's just to get away for a while without cookin ,cleanin, washin, ironin and mom can i have this,mom he did this to me and so on:D

shakenbake

shakenbake wrote: »

OP, a couple of resources and books I found very useful were:

Myress briggs personality test, google it, it'll take you about 20mins to complete and is fairly accurate in my experience. You can then google your result and view many peoples research on your personality type.

Books: Introvert Advantage, The Loners Manifesto ... forget who the authours are!

It's been said that the introvert desire to spend time alone and in their own head is due to the fact they 'recharge' themselves this way ... the opposite of how an extrovert does it (the majority of people in society). Most of the doubt in you about its normality, is probably due to the fact that extraverts simply don't understand why you'd prefer to eat your lunch alone and in peace, or spend the weekend screening your phone calls and doing your 'own' thing. As has been said lots of times, it's perfectly normal

i got


Rational Portrait of the Mastermind (INTJ)

Permabear

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