Alcohol...worth it or not?

LegacyUser

So hi all, i'm asking a straightforward question, but getting to it took me a long time.

Is taking up drinking really worth it, even if you feel its important?

Basically i'm a college student in his 20's, ok life i guess, get along great with friends and family, yet i'm unable to express many feelings, especially towards females when i'm out in a club or even just on a day out. I am the only one in my whole family who doesnt drink, yet i feel as if i should even try it out, if only as a life experience.

The main reason i guess i would like to try it, is to increase my self confidence when trying to attract a girl, even if only for a quick score in a club or something...i just can't "put myself out there" so MAYBE a bit of Dutch courage might help, who knows??

Otherwise in life i'm a pretty confident person, no problem chatting to males or females usually, but don't have many interests outside college yet want to join a sports club soon, at least for some stuff to talk about...

So absically, as the title implies...IS it worth it? I'd appreciate any answers or advice you good PI people have to offer

Catari Jaguar

Terrible idea. Drunk men imo, are one of the most irritating things out there. (After drunk women) I've met some very idiotic slimeballs that couldn't take no for a answer.

Woman have personalities and brains too. Just chat to them. Don't even use stupid chat up lines.

vibrant

Please don't rely on alcohol to give you confidence. You sound like you have a lot going for you, and don't need it. You are shy - that is endearing!

Personally I'd rather spend the evening chatting to a down-to-earth shy guy than the loud, obnoxious drunken gobsh*te

RedXIV

Hey OP,

Look, i'm not gonna tell you to go out and get hammered, but to me there's nothing as relaxing as a pint after a hard day. There's nothing wrong with drinking. Otherwise it'd be illegal. but it's not. But don't take up drinking JUST to talk to women. That won't work. I like drinking with friends more than going out to talk to women while drinking. Alcohol relaxes you and you never know, you might try it and realise you don't like it. and thats ok. But if you think of it as a tool to enable communication, you're deluded

Trinity

I suppose you have to ask yourself why you dont drink now, is it because you couldnt be arsed? Not your scene?

I love a drink in the evening to unwind, so i dont see too much wrong with it, but in your case If its only to chat up girls i wouldnt bother, but if you do take it up i would do it in moderation. There is nothing attractive about a man (or woman!) falling all over the place drunk or not being able to string a sentence together.

minidazzler

I am a huge fan of Drink, I love good long Benders, but I will never advise someone to just take up drinking all the time.

I made a very conscious decision when I started drinking at 17.5 years old. The last one of my friends to drink. I didn't get drunk, I got.....happy.

I drink because I love beer, I love the taste and I will not drink specifically to get drunk. I do go out and get absolutely hammered from time to time, and when I really need to relax I will go on a good long bender for a few days with a friend or two, like I did this weekend. I find it relaxing and a real confidence Booster, but that's me.

I have quite low confidence and self esteem, but when I drink even just a bottle or 2, I become the life of whatever party I happen to be attending. But again, that's me...

I think you should drink though, but only once, and then make a properly informed decision, don't get drunk, obviously, just 2/3 bottles of beer, and then decide if you like beer and want to continue drinking. after that one night.

If you are going to, I advise a German beer, they are much easier going down.


But don't drink just because you want to chat girls up. Most lads come across quite letcherous when drunk trying to chat up a (more) sober person.

In short, drink to relax, don't drink to get drunk.

Otis Driftwood

If you are thinking of drinking just to try and pick up women then my advice would be NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

If however you just wanna try it for curiosity sake then my advice would be go for it but do it in a controlled environment.Say sitting at home with some good mates and having a laugh and have a few tinnies as opposed to going on a major binge in a pub or club.Ive been drinking since I was 14 so have pretty much seen it all and done it all so just stay safe and enjoy it if you decide to try.,

estar

the best decision i ever made was not to drink when i was younger
as i learned to be myself and not to need a crutch.

the worst decision i ever made was then to take uo drinking as everyone else was doing it, which made me something and somebody i was not.

i was far happier not drinking and have returned to my natural state. i found it easy to give up as all those years i was used to not drinking.

real confidence is being able to walk up to strangers and talk to them without dutch courage.

learn that instead of learning how to drink and you will be far more desirable
to women than wobbling up after a few

Ryanzo

Go out and get absolutely mangled drunk and come to your own conclusion!! Thats the best advice I can think of... Sorry if its not that efficient ha

zxcvbnm1

I have to say that i would recommend taking up drinking.

i don't want to sound flppant - but it's true.

LEts face it - nearly everyone drinks.
We all can't be wrong.

Obviously you don't want to turn into an alcoholic.

But assuming that like most people you don't then it's all positives in my book.

Keano

OP really boils down to choice.

I like a pint but dont like getting drunk - that is for those who cannot handle their drink.

Calhoun

Well first off i would say that if you read through this forum the common theme and advice for picking up girls is that clubs can be crap places to pick up people.

Join a club like you plan chances are you might meet someone nice in a much better environment.

As far as drinking goes my advice would be not to put to much importance in the act. Its like you feel like your different because you dont drink , let me tell you not drinking is much better than living to drink.

In my teens i worked in a hotel bar for about 2-3 years in a bar, one of the craziest experiences ever. My co-workers would literally work 5 days a week and spend the two days they had free in a bar drinking, was crazy but it seemed like the normal thing tovdo in th job.

Saying all that im not a pioneer either i like to have the occasional drink but i know that its not the be and end all .

scottless

the best nights of my life have been pretty drunken ones but it was'nt only t do wit the drink but it played a large part. but i love drinkin wit my mates its my favourite thing t do i couldn imagine life witout it. in my opinion ur missin out but its up t u thats just my opinion

agent_smith

Hey dude,

You dont sound a million miles from me. Like you, I don't drink and am a bit reserved.. but workin on that bit . I used to drink as a teen, probably more to do with peer pressure at the time than anything else, but slowly started to get my own self confidence, and now, I dont really drink much at all.
For me, I dont do chit chat. I like to have a proper chat with a girl. None of this trying to impress her with quick one liners you pick up off the net while you are hammered drunk. Thats not to say you come on super strong and deep either. I just prefer a decent layed back relaxed get to know you chat. If a girl wants a guy with drunken one liners, well then il say adios and wish her on way! I dont want to waste my time on somebody like that and neitehr should you.
You dont have to have beer in you to havea good night. The best thing i find about not drinking, is that i tend to remember the good chats I have with a girl and tend to mean that it could be something worth following up. Put it this way, if you want to have any sort of meaningful with a girl your going to have to be able to talk to her properly at some stage. Not drinking cuts to the chase! Allows you to see if you are compatible or not quicker.
OP , dont feel ashamed or embarassed for who you are. There are plenty more lads out there like yourself, so your not strange , weird or on your own there.
Chin up and enjoy yourself.

agent_smith

cantdecide

agent_smith wrote: »

There are plenty more lads out there like yourself

I'm another and I know your frustrations. Check out the non-drinkers *ahem* Group and you will se many more frustrated people.

Alcohol makes me ill and doesn't suit me anyway so I give it a miss. Depending on your circumstances, it can be a lonesome place. I'm in my late twenties and the older I get, the more I realise how socially unacceptable it is. People can be downright rude and you will feel like an outsider on nights out. Even meeting interesting, like-minded women is a very hard thing.

It is a total judgement call, bud but you probably already know what's good for you. If you are a bit on the deep side, chances are, alcohol isn't going to give you the fulfillment you're after.

entropi

cantdecide wrote: »

Depending on your circumstances, it can be a lonesome place. I'm in my late twenties and the older I get, the more I realise how socially unacceptable it is. People can be downright rude and you will feel like an outsider on nights out. Even meeting interesting, like-minded women is a very hard thing.

Hehe tell me about it i feel just the same when on a night out as the only sober person around:P To the OP, if it's all about just trying it out, even to have a bottle or two of beer, i dont see the harm in the experience...but taking it on properly? Prob not a wise idea to get wasted and it costs alot to go out drinking too these days! (so my friends tell me). I'm 28 now and never drank myself, even my dad didnt drink till he was 27 may be a family thing i dunno, but i'm happy as i am and not pressured into using it as an excuse to chat up girls. I say follow your heart on this, as you'll get mixed reactions from most people...sure the replies here are varied and that's not alot of opinions.

Jammyc

Id say only look for a bit of Dutch (Gold) courage, if you yourself feel that you want it.
Dont let your family or anyone else even through no intention of your own, make you try drinking. That being said, it can open people up a lot and have the potential to do some good, if used correctly. I would never dance sober for instance.

Either way its your choice entirely, but before you decide, make sure youre deciding for the right reasons.

Dragan

A question for you OP, do you have confidence issues with any other aspect of your life,or is it just the ladies?

Do you mind speaking in public? Have you volunteered for anything at any point? Were you ever in a school play or production?

sunnyside

From the "life experience" point of view I would recommend trying alcohol but I would never recommend going out and getting drunk. But if you are wondering what all the fuss is about do go out and order a pint and see if you like it. Try a few different brands, etc. But don't have more than 1 or 2 drinks the first few times so you can get used to how alcohol makes you feel.

Pub07

Well Ive cutting down on the drink big time lately but my advice would be to at least try it out. You can't make an informed decision if you dont try it out.

unsure111 wrote:

The main reason i guess i would like to try it, is to increase my self confidence when trying to attract a girl, even if only for a quick score in a club or something...i just can't "put myself out there" so MAYBE a bit of Dutch courage might help, who knows??

Some people who replied have said this is a bad idea, drinking to help with confidence in getting some action from the ladies. They couldn't be more wrong imo, almost all the action Ive gotten ever has come as result of being well tanked, from one night stands to long term relationships. I know quite a few guys who have only ever got off with someone while they were on a night out on the beer. The fact of the matter is women like confidence and alcohol will boost your confidence. You can have great craic too after a few pints. As the wise man said 'Drink can be your best friend or your worst enemy'.

homerun_homer

Just to add my bit, as people say don't drink just so you can chat up girls. I will say that I do feel uncomfortable on a night out if I stay sober, be it for overdoing it for the days before hand or because I'm the designated driver. I find I'll only enjoy a sober night out if my personality is fully switched on and I'm in a really giddy/wired mood. If I could channel that buzz all the time I would definitely cut down on the amount I drink.
So when it comes to talking to girls on nights out in a pub or club I definitely feel weirded out if I am sober and she is drinking/tipsy/drunk, and vice versa. But this shouldn't be the sole reason to take up drinking.

I don't know what your reasons are for not drinking OP, be it not liking the taste of beer, not being able to handle drink, or just never developed the interest - it won't do harm to go for a pint with your friends and just see how you get on. Pints in the pub chatting away, having a laugh are some of the best times to be had.

LegacyUser

Listen mate - I'm about your age and I also don't drink.

The reality of the situation is a large amount of people use drink as a crutch. That's why alcohol is often referred to as the weak mans crutch.
Be your own man and don't let other people drag you down. As someone mentioned earlier the FACT is most people do drink - this person mentioned it as a good thing.
Well most people doing it makes it average - screw average, do you just want to be an average man?

You say you want to drink because you want confidence to get girls. That's something I can understand and sympathise with. I was faced with the same decision but instead of taking up drinking I picked up a barbell and did something POSITIVE. Do you honestly think women would prefer some guy who is poor because he pisses his money into a urinal, has a beer belly and weak body, is incomprehensible and just follows the crowd like a bloody sheep? Or do you think they would prefer a man with money, a strong toned body, a sharp mind and some bloody self-confidence and belief.

If people want to drink that's fine but for God's sake don't do something bad to yourself just to fit in. The last place real confidence comes from is the bottom of a bottle and alcohol has never made anyone more of a man - in fact I'd suggest the opposite.

Beruthiel

unsure111 wrote: »

I am the only one in my whole family who doesnt drink, yet i feel as if i should even try it out, if only as a life experience.

To thine own self be true.
You are who you are. Drink is not going to change you in any fundamental way that counts. It is not the answer to the questions you ask.

cantdecide

Unregistered wrote: »

Or do you think they would prefer a man with money...

I must say that this is so true. People are easily and happily parted from the greater part of their disposable income as a result moderate socialising and although I would earn only a comfortable amount, my quality of life is massive...

I watch friends spend well into 3 figures every weekend out and can't figure out why they're always hard up...

Canis Lupus

Op, go out, have a drink or two and see what you think.

You might like it or hate it but it's not that big a deal. Don't look at it as some kind of life changing momenteous decision.

RossFixxxed

Having a couple of drinks, a laugh, a silly dance is great, and can be very.... rewarding

Getting tanked, screaming laughter, dancing like a violent p***k will not get you anywhere except sick, or an ambulance.

Just take it easy. Don't use the booze as a crutch, or as a way to talk to girls.

daveharnett

unsure111 wrote: »

Is taking up drinking really worth it, even if you feel its important?

I would recommend giving it a go, it can be enjoyable. While many people also depend on it as a social lubricant, this is really not the best way to go.

unsure111 wrote: »

Basically i'm a college student in his 20's, ok life i guess, get along great with friends and family, yet i'm unable to express many feelings, especially towards females when i'm out in a club or even just on a day out.

My recommendation on this front is to become acquainted with a group who you haven't spent time with before (neighbors, friends of a friend, club/soc whatever), and be more outgoing with them from the start. They don't know that this is unusual for you, so there won't be any weirdness, and you'll be surprised how positively they will react. This will build confidence which you can gradually bring to the rest of your social life.

LegacyUser

Dragan wrote: »

A question for you OP, do you have confidence issues with any other aspect of your life,or is it just the ladies?

Do you mind speaking in public? Have you volunteered for anything at any point? Were you ever in a school play or production?

Op here again,

Dragan, i actually DO have bags of confidence in all other aspects of life, just this one thing with the ladies has never clicked. Public speaking i'm cool with, was in school plays when younger yes all original productions too:) My problem towards attracting them is that i went to all boys schools, had only male friends until i was 23 and not even a kiss on the lips until i was 24 so yeah i was isolated from that aspect of life. It didnt help that i was too dedicated to sport, and shunned the opportunities to go out chasing girls in my teens, and i would stay instead playing soccer or football or just cycle around to keep fit.

If i could multi quote people like i seen before i would, but cannot so i'll have to lump this one post together...

To include the reasons why i never drank for some others, my father and his side of the family had lots of issues with drink...he was pretty abusive to my mother when i was younger and witnessed him strike her, for which part of me will always hate him for but she's rid of his ways a long time now, yet he's still an alcoholic. Also i just never seen the appeal of it until i hit my 20's and wanted to give it even just one attempt, and see if it did indeed give me a confidence boost.

If i could multi quote people like i seen before i would, but cannot so i'll have to lump this one post together...

And to all you people who replied, i thank you for your input. I had a feeling there might be a "mixed bag" of answers, yet i've decided i'm just gonna give it a try once when i'm out next week and see what happens, only like 2 bottles max as i would only want to be a light drinker on such occasions as i dont go out too much anyways. On the plus side i found out more recently i'm not a bad dancer which is a really good thing i'm told, maybe the final push will come once i crack open a bottle of corona or something haha!!:D

Thank you all yet again, i really appreciate input from not only those who know me in real life, but here too.