What if she says no?

BopNiblets · 23-01-2009 3:16pm #1

This might just be me, I'm a worrier, I asked about engagement ring returns in the local jeweller and they said they only give store credit and not refunds, are most places like this?

Obviously I'd prefer this not to happen but as I said, I worry.

ecaf · 23-01-2009 3:36pm

Could you consider proposing with something like a necklace / chain instead.
The reason I say so is that I heard of someone else who's fiancé did this and she thought it was a nice gesture.
It also meant that she got to pick her own ring which most people seem to prefer, I definitely had to pick my own anyway.

Don't worry so much, I'm sure she wont say no, but it might be nicer to allow her to pick her own ring?

BopNiblets · 23-01-2009 3:38pm

Nah, I'd prefer a ring!

RentDayBlues · 23-01-2009 3:47pm

Buy a cheap ring to propose with? Or use your imagination! What about a ring from a lucky bag? Or one of those jelly rings? I would think they were very cute and it would then leave you both to choose the real thing together

BopNiblets · 23-01-2009 6:46pm

Cheap or not I don't want to be stuck with store credit I won't use!

So, all jewellers in Ireland have it?

Terodil · 23-01-2009 6:50pm

How about discussing the general topic with her first?

A surprise questioning with ring in hand ('don't you dare to refuse, this cost me 1000s') usually doesn't go down well.

implausible · 23-01-2009 9:23pm

Propose somewhere near the jewellers, then go pick one out together.

I know the whole perfect ring in a box proposal sounds very romantic but are you really that sure of your girlfriend's taste? You're a brave man if you are:rolleyes:

My fiancée wouldn't have had a clue and he knew that, so I picked it out after he proposed-wouldn't have had it any other way:D

BopNiblets · 23-01-2009 9:26pm

Hmm, I'm not sure how to do that, if I get down on one knee and have nothin in my hand?

23-01-2009 9:28pm

I picked my own and I'm delighted because no way would he have known what to get me and I do have to live with it on my finger for the rest of my life!

I'd go with the cheap ring idea, too. Pick something up for a few euro in Claire's or A-Wear and use that. Makes a lovely keepsake and story.

Edited to add: Don't propose unless you're fairly sure it's what she wants too. If you get to the stage in your relationship what you're thinking about marriage, you should know her feelings on the subject.
I'd prefer to be proposed to and for the man to be happy that I said yes rather than being upset I said no because he can't get a refund!

implausible · 23-01-2009 10:09pm

Yep, get a cheap ring, or a washer, or a piece of string in a nice box. Make sure it's on a day and time that the jeweller is open, so when she says 'yes', ye can go and look immediately.

Oh, yeah and don't do what a dozy friend of mine did - he had heard of this anything in a box idea and proposed.....with an empty box! Luckily, she found it funny:D

gar_29 · 24-01-2009 10:53am

i say go for it and pick one!

it's not very romantic getting down on one knee with an empty box, or something from claire's accessories! not a cool story to tell the grandchildren....

24-01-2009 10:58am

gar_29 wrote: »

i say go for it and pick one!

it's not very romantic getting down on one knee with an empty box, or something from claire's accessories! not a cool story to tell the grandchildren....

Yeah, nothing more romantic than doing the exact same as everyone else and risking buying a ring your intended won't like but will have to wear for the rest of her life.

For the sake of waiting one day, you could make sure she gets something she loves.

Men seem to only be able to associate diamond solitatires with engagement rings.

gar_29 · 24-01-2009 12:41pm

00112984 wrote: »

Yeah, nothing more romantic than doing the exact same as everyone else and risking buying a ring your intended won't like but will have to wear for the rest of her life.

For the sake of waiting one day, you could make sure she gets something she loves.

Men seem to only be able to associate diamond solitatires with engagement rings.

ah yeah, but if you know the girl well enough to want to marry her, you should probably have an inkling of the sort of style she'd like.

just my opinion, no need to jump on me like that!

Glowing · 24-01-2009 12:54pm

Well for me, the best part of my engagment was the fact that he went and picked out a ring for me himself!

implausible · 24-01-2009 8:25pm

gar_29 wrote: »

ah yeah, but if you know the girl well enough to want to marry her, you should probably have an inkling of the sort of style she'd like.

Look, everyone is different. You cannot measure how well you know someone by your ability to pick out jewellery! My OH knows me inside out, but has no interest in clothes, jewellery or fashion. I had never worn a ring before my e-ring so how would he know?! I'm too much of a control freak anyway, so was delighted to pick out my own!

I have friends whose husbands pick and buy them clothes and jewellery and other friends whose OHs (like mine) wouldn't have a notion. It's not a reflection on their relationships.

OP, if you know your girlfriend's taste really well, then buy the ring first. However, as you say you're a worrier, and wouldn't like to buy her something that she'd feel obliged to wear though she hated it, so propose first.

Let us know how you get on!

What if she says no?

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