Rant: Is it just me, or is there a lack of decent Bisexuals/lesbians around?!

Looniatic

Hey!

I'm not here to offend anyone, but just to express my thoughts! And so, I've been bisexual for goodness knows how long! I say I'm more into girls than boys, but there are just none OUT there for "grabs" at the moment, at least not that i know of! I've been scoring mainly guys, the last girl I scored was last year!!

Its so hard to tell if a girl is bisexual, lesbian or straight. You see, the only way you find out for a fact if she is or not is if you ask her, which I dont really do in clubs because i dont want to scare them! (i know some homophobes!!) And I know like sometimes dancing with girls you can think they are hitting on you, but I know LOADS of straight girls who dances FAR sluttier than I ever will on top of their girl friends.

And yes, I know there are gay bars and stuff, but like, I've NEVER seen a decent girl my age there (sorry if i offended anyone! but maybe i'm just unlucky that whenever I go, there are none!). The last time I went to the george, all i saw were woman hell of a lot older than I am, sucking the face off each other. (again, i dont mean to be in anyway offensive) I'm not a regular in any gay bars, but I'm not a big fan of them.

Why can't bisexuals and lesbians be out there more? One shouldnt hold back on who they actually are! I'm sure there are more than just 5 lesbians/bisexuals my age out there!! (including my friends)

Anywho, rant done. Just want to find more girls my age who arent just up for "fun" and never heard of after such. Friends perhaps?

The end.

rainbow kirby

I'm in a bit of a similar position myself - I find it very hard to get to meet other girls, despite the fact I have a lot of gay friends. I'm also not a huge fan of the scene, there has to be more to life than going to the same 4 bars every time! Hard to know really, it's so difficult to tell with girls - my gaydar is awful for girls, but pretty sharp for guys.

*sigh*

pepsicokeacola

:rolleyes:

Looniatic

rainbow kirby wrote: »

I'm in a bit of a similar position myself - I find it very hard to get to meet other girls, despite the fact I have a lot of gay friends. I'm also not a huge fan of the scene, there has to be more to life than going to the same 4 bars every time! Hard to know really, it's so difficult to tell with girls - my gaydar is awful for girls, but pretty sharp for guys.

*sigh*

Agreed! I get the whole "well if you go to the gaybars (ie. george) I'm sure you'll meet someone there SOON!" but like, why should I have to go to the same place again and again to find someone that MIGHT appear. Waste of time. ( i feel like i'm being contradicting! :P )

Boston

It seems to me the logical thing is to get involved in something that will bring you into contact with mainly other women (A sport or hobby) . Gay bars seem like a bad place for women to hook up since their A) male dominated of the women there, most would be straight C) Oddly enough, I've been told, these straight women in gay bars react badly to being hit on.

Nevyn

The female gay scene is a lot more hidden I guess.
Keep an eye out on ladies nights and events on sites which advertise lgb events.
Certain pubs used to be 'known' but I would be a bit out of the loop on that one
last time I about on the scene it was the barge, templelouge house and lips when when ever it was running. LGB alt events in temple bar are another one to look out for.

Ambersky

Try www.theladylist.ie for listings of events for lesbian bi queer and transgendered women in Ireland.
You might have a little more luck at one of these events.
Also maybe give it a bit of time to acclimatise yourself to the predominantly lesbian scene. You may find that decent girls come in different shapes styles and sizes than you have up to now been use to.

MonicaBing

I think its an Ireland thing maybe? Ive gone so far as to join some sites and i've either been contacted by guys or time-wasters.. Like you i have no real interest anymore in the pub/club scene, so i guess i'm destined to be that ole' woman with the multitude of cats, that everyone goes out of there way to avoid!!

dory

Whoa! Slow down with the cat planning there.
First up, I was in Kiss there last night, it was full of lesbians and some damn fine ones too. Also Cake, and Dodgeball are lady nights and I've seen a load of hotties (I go for the femme/girly ones by the way - also hot butch ones).

Then there's the interweb. I joined gaydargirls and QueerID and have met some really cool people. The 2nd site there has loads of meets (not all drink related) and it's all about meeting gay people, not hooking up, so it's relaxed and fun. Gaydargirls; well that's tougher. In 3 years I've met 2 great people on it.

Then there's the whole gay sports things; the hiking club, soccer club. OutHouse has an acting class once a week. All these are great ways to get to know women.

Yes, it is harder, you do have to put in an effort but that's just one of the downsides of being gay. I think there are also lots of positives that outweigh that though. It's the same like if you were Chinese in Ireland, and you only wanted to date a Chinese woman. You'd have to hang out in Chinese stores, or if there was such a thing, Chinese bars, or a Chinese website. It happens with every minority, be proactive and you'll find loads of hot women.

Weidii

I'd love to be down in the smoke, if only for the number of lesbians down there. Not many knocking around here in the Wesht, it seems.

shoegirl

Looniatic wrote: »

I'm not here to offend anyone, but just to express my thoughts! And so, I've been bisexual for goodness knows how long! I say I'm more into girls than boys, but there are just none OUT there for "grabs" at the moment, at least not that i know of! I've been scoring mainly guys, the last girl I scored was last year!!

Unfortunately a lot of women who don't conform to butch stereotypes are incorrectly regarded as fag hags or feared by a lot of the mainstream lesbians. I've found it like this a lot. There is a terrible herd mentality especially outside of Dublin. I empathise.

shoegirl

Looniatic wrote: »

I've NEVER seen a decent girl my age there (sorry if i offended anyone! but maybe i'm just unlucky that whenever I go, there are none!). The last time I went to the george, all i saw were woman hell of a lot older than I am, sucking the face off each other.

....um I have to say I often feel the same, and I'm 36....!!!!!

spurious

Many gay women don't go near the bars in the first place. There is quite a thriving 'non-scene' scene.
Maybe someone should organise a LGB boards night?

blathnaid21

Hi there,

your looking to be friends with a bisexual u say? well i'm bisexual and sometimes i just want to be friends with bisexual instead of fun fun and more fun.fun great and wonderful , don't get me wrong but its nice to be friends 2. U'll find me on bebo as i have a bisexual profile there.:)

its me!

yea i hate the whole gay bar scene.. its sooo hard to find girls! am thinkin of joining a football team just to find some similar girls like me in dublin cos i hear its a good place to find them! anyone know any teams around rathmines area?!?

shoegirl

spurious wrote: »

Many gay women don't go near the bars in the first place. There is quite a thriving 'non-scene' scene.
Maybe someone should organise a LGB boards night?

These groups can be particularly hard to a) find or b) be welcomed into if you are lucky enough to find them. A lot of the problem I find, especially on the scene, is that the wrong people easily get into influential positions in well intentioned community groups and people won't go along to events or walk away because nobody has the guts to say straight to people that they are putting others off.

We have been good as a community at being inclusive, but we are not so good at being discerning.

BettePorter

MonicaBing wrote: »

I think its an Ireland thing maybe? Ive gone so far as to join some sites and i've either been contacted by guys or time-wasters.. Like you i have no real interest anymore in the pub/club scene, so i guess i'm destined to be that ole' woman with the multitude of cats, that everyone goes out of there way to avoid!!

I'm with you ! i have visions of myself pushing a trolley full of cat pee soaked newspapers around town, scaring children and be known as the crazy cat lady who adopts strays for a living. (When the crazy cat lady appears on the Simpsons, i cringe with familiarity) and i'm only 33 !
It seems that every second guy i meet is gay, not just socially but through work etc. All my friends are straight and i never seem to 'just happen to bump into someone who just so happens to be Les/bi'. Gay men on the other hand, are in no shortage !

queenbe

it's impossible to find someone i reckon,,i dont like the whole gay scene and clubs,

blathnaid21

BettePorter wrote: »

I'm with you ! i have visions of myself pushing a trolley full of cat pee soaked newspapers around town, scaring children and be known as the crazy cat lady who adopts strays for a living. (When the crazy cat lady appears on the Simpsons, i cringe with familiarity) and i'm only 33 !
It seems that every second guy i meet is gay, not just socially but through work etc. All my friends are straight and i never seem to 'just happen to bump into someone who just so happens to be Les/bi'. Gay men on the other hand, are in no shortage !

Click facebook.theres loads of les and bi sexual groups there.i'm bi and i joined d groups.

Monkey61

As Dublin is a small city, you are always going to be at a disadvantage if you aren't into the stereotypical scene type things. Such is life as part of a minority group I am afraid.

What I have learned over the last year or so is that you really have to be proactive and make your own luck in these situations.

I have coincidentally just happened to meet girls who are gay and who I fancied in the course of my life, but after breaking up with a long term girlfriend last year I decided to take matters into my own hands and joined Gaydar. Okay I was at a definite advantage because I live in London (which seems to be gay central for women) - but within a week of being proactive I had lined up three dates. I met a bunch of great people and have been with my girlfriend now for almost a year.

I think moving to a larger city is definitely something to think about. After all - if your favourite hobby is snow-boarding, there is no point living in Saudi Arabia. (At least...I think there's no snow in Saudi Arabia)

AssaultedPeanut

Age: 26

Cats: 5

Outlook: not good

spurious

dementedsoul wrote: »

Age: 26

Cats: 5

Outlook: not good

Sense of humour though, so ahead of some of the herd.

lushballs

New Social group for women in Dublin.
190 members and counting!

http://www.meetup.com/Dublin-LGBTQ-Womens-Social-Networking-Club

LegacyUser

Yeah I totally agree it's hard to meet girls in Dublin. As someone who is questioning their sexuality, I'm a littler nervous in going to organised lesbian events, as I'm not sure if I'm even bi.

Before I even thought about women in that way, in clubs and pubs straight girls (including myself) can give off mixed signals. Girls that are 100% straight will dance sexy with their girlfriends and be flirty with other girls they meet. It's ok for me at the moment cos I love guys and am content to stay that way at the moment, but it must be so hard for lesbians who don't like the gay scene (The George etc.) and are trying to meet bi/les girls.

rere

lushballs wrote: »

New Social group for women in Dublin.
190 members and counting!

http://www.meetup.com/Dublin-LGBTQ-Womens-Social-Networking-Club

I just had a look at that now, seems good. Might have a chance of avoiding the 10 cats route!
When I saw the page was titled "running amach" I had a horrible vision of me doing a fun run through town, goes against my lazy principles.
Glad to see I was way off though

encore1

dementedsoul wrote: »

Age: 26

Cats: 5

Outlook: not good

that actually made me laugh out loud.....

wow, i thought i was the only one feeling like this, dunno if its a good or a bad thing that there are so many others in the same boat.....is it really THAT bad out there?! actually, let me answer that - YES!

Rick_

rainbow kirby wrote: »

It's so difficult to tell with girls - my gaydar is awful for girls, but pretty sharp for guys.

We need to talk... I have about 17 people I could use your help with....

encore1

spurious wrote: »

Many gay women don't go near the bars in the first place. There is quite a thriving 'non-scene' scene.
Maybe someone should organise a LGB boards night?

ok, so who wants to volunteer...?! (to organise it that is......not to attend - thats compulsory )

Laura_lolly87

Try living putside Dublin no scene at all and cant even tell friends cause i want to b totally sure before i do.

Looniatic

Yeah I know this thread is a little out of date! but still! Actually a thurdsay night in basebar isn't too bad! The night is called "PrHomo". They have the younger crowd in there! (younger than 25 defoo!!) so if you're lookin to meet someone young ya should try it out! :P

Kanoe

shoegirl wrote: »

Unfortunately a lot of women who don't conform to butch stereotypes are incorrectly regarded as fag hags or feared by a lot of the mainstream lesbians. I've found it like this a lot. There is a terrible herd mentality especially outside of Dublin. I empathise.

thought it was just me (and maybe it is) I'm so butch in my head though :pac:

spurious

Revisiting this - that meetup group mentioned earlier is really good and now has almost 400 members - all over the country.
http://www.meetup.com/Dublin-LGBTQ-Womens-Social-Networking-Club/

AssaultedPeanut

^^^^
Agreed. It's a great site, I joined up after the last time it was mentioned and have found it really good. Although I've only RSVP'd once and then didn't show up but it's ok there were loads of people going to that particular meet up....

Anyway, I'd highly recommend it

Miracletown

Maybe I have totally different taste but there's loads of nice girls out there. I've only ever been to the George but there's generally a lot of girls out. I think you just have to be a bit social and get chatting to people because if you're standing around waiting for someone to talk to you the ones you really want to probably won't. I just go round the smoking area and get chatting to people, guys or girls. At the very least you get to make some friends which is cool and you never know who else your friends know.

And if you're not very butch, I'm not, then you probably need to be more willing to make the first move. If you go to a girl you like and chat to her and show some interest she's not gunna mistake you for a fag hag and she won't be looking at you across the room wondering if you're straight or not.

etoilerose

Miracletown wrote: »

Maybe I have totally different taste but there's loads of nice girls out there. I've only ever been to the George but there's generally a lot of girls out. I think you just have to be a bit social and get chatting to people because if you're standing around waiting for someone to talk to you the ones you really want to probably won't. I just go round the smoking area and get chatting to people, guys or girls. At the very least you get to make some friends which is cool and you never know who else your friends know.

And if you're not very butch, I'm not, then you probably need to be more willing to make the first move. If you go to a girl you like and chat to her and show some interest she's not gunna mistake you for a fag hag and she won't be looking at you across the room wondering if you're straight or not.

I totally agree.
At least, I've met some really awesome girls even thou I'm a bit shy.
I realized that there might be other shy girls out there, just waiting to be found. And there was!

SarahBeep!

Limerick is awful as well!
And I'm only 18! >:(

LegacyUser

Well does anybody fancy organising a night out in Dublin for us bi or les girls?

Annasopra

yourusername wrote: »

Well does anybody fancy organising a night out in Dublin for us bi or les girls?

Just a suggestion - Perhaps register and organise something yourself

Kanoe

I remember going to an organised meetup when I came out first and having a genuinely forgettable time. Its incredibly difficult when you're new anyway but I found that I really, really didn't fit in so I tend to avoid them.
I discovered as long as I have a few gay blokes either side of me I always have a great night out, wherever I am, and it makes meeting people a whole lot easier too.