Advice

LegacyUser

Hey guys, i need some advice:
I have been seeing a guy for a while, and hes just broken it off, but for the life of me, i cant understand why, and that worries me.

Things were going well, we had a few dates, done a bit of kissing and the like, and then, in the past week, he decided that he didnt want to be with me.

Our last date was before christmas, because we live a good distance apart, and i was hoping to head up for another one this weekend.

Now i only got the reasons he is giving last night:
First- i didnt text him on christmas day, now i admit i forgot and apologised for it, but we had been chatting online and on phone before and after xmas, and he knew that I had a rough christmas, i had the flu, my 4 year old niece was with us and she was VERY sick, and I had a brother in hospital having a pacemaker in.

and second, we started kissing on our last date, and he thinks this means that all im after is sex

im upset and confused, because i just dont understand...
any opinions?

Boston

Sounds like he got cold feet, it happens.

Dwn Wth Vwls

The two main possibilities that come to mind are:

1) He's just not that interested and decided to call it off with whatever excuse he could come up with.

2) He's paranoid and believes everything he thinks without stopping to question it. He decided that you should have texted him on Christmas day and you didn't, and that means all sorts of things he has imagined. You've already kissed him so you are definitely only looking for sex and he knows this for sure because he thought it. If he believes everything he thinks you might have difficulty ever doing anything right for him.

You'll never know for sure what the reason is, but you could try talking to him again and see if you can sort it out. If it's either of those reasons though, it probably won't work out in the long run.

Untense

Unregistered wrote: »

Now i only got the reasons he is giving last night:
First- i didnt text him on christmas day, now i admit i forgot and apologised for it, but we had been chatting online and on phone before and after xmas, and he knew that I had a rough christmas, i had the flu, my 4 year old niece was with us and she was VERY sick, and I had a brother in hospital having a pacemaker in.

and second, we started kissing on our last date, and he thinks this means that all im after is sex

im upset and confused, because i just dont understand...
any opinions?

The reasons he broke it off are the reasons he gave. It appears he expected a text from you on Christmas. When he didn't get a text, he probably thought that there was something 'off' - as the idea in his head of how a person who is interested in him should act was not being matched by what was happening in reality.

As Dwn Wth Vwls mentions, he believes all these thoughts in his head are true. That might explain why he came out of the blue with this idea that you were only interested in sex, as since you were no longer fitting his idea of how a match should behave, he would have started trawling back through past events looking for reasons why it was a fact that you're not his perfect match.

Yes, it's insane, but most of us are guilty of this in some shape or form.

Have you fully explained the reasons why you didn't get back to him in the same detail as you have explained it here? If you have, and he can't accept that, I hope you understand that it is entirely his problem and doesn't mean anything about you.