Question from a lad to girls.

half_life_man

Ok so I've been meeting up with this girl a few times and I'm into her and she's into me. Thing is though she's had loads of bfs, and I've never had a gf. Never had a proper relationship with a girl. Just small flings. I'm 18 and I'm afraid I'll scare her off by telling her I'm a virgin. So girls just wondering what I should say to her. Would any girl here thinks its embarassing that i've had no experience? Think the only thing I have going for me is my looks(not tryna sound big headed) , but ya know looks arnt everything.

LegacyUser

Why do you feel you have to tell her that your a virgin? Do you know if she is a virgin?? Do you think she wants to have sex right away?? Being not far off your age myself i know girls want to get to know people before jumping into bed!

LegacyUser

You're only 18 just enjoy yourself (and don't do anything stupid).

banshee_bones

how much older is she?

im sure if shes into you she will understand. just take things at your own pace, it doesnt matter how many bf's shes had. I have known guys that have had no experince to vary lots even from other guys that have no experience! seriously!

star-pants

Hi OP -- you're only 18 I wouldn't worry about not having much experience, or be embarrassed by it, I only had my first kiss at 18! I was 23/24 before anything more substantial ever happened. And I did mention it at the time, of course I was nervous and unsure, but if the other person has experience it doesn't mean they're not going to be with a virgin. You say she's had a few bfs, she may too be a virgin then? I really really won't get too stressed about it, I doubt you'll scare her off, and if she did leave because of that, then she isn't the sort you'd want to be with anyway.

Everything happens in their own time, the first time is always nervous and a bit awkward but everyone goes through it, so don't think she's going to laugh at you or something, she'll understand (if she's not a virgin, then she'll have been in the same position as you once).

experiMental

I'm 22 and I haven't even touched a girl in my life yet. I'm not joking here.

Just tell her that you know *this guy* (i.e me), and also say "it could be a lot worse", referring to me again.

beertons

Or just tell her straight out man, start the relationship off with honesty. Best foot forward and all that. She was a first for somebody too at some stage. And most importantly, relax.

Jammyc

experiMental wrote: »

I'm 22 and I haven't even touched a girl in my life yet. I'm not joking here.

Just tell her that you know *this guy* (i.e me), and also say "it could be a lot worse", referring to me again.

I had to quote this. Youre a real credit to the force. That post was incredibly genuine and just thought to give you some recognition for that.


To the OP,
I wouldnt worry, 18 is early days yet, although I can hardly talk myself, but if shes really into you, it wont be any problem. I wouldnt just bring it up out of nowhere though, she might think your intentions are of only one thing..

towel401

lob it into her, boss

before halflife gets the better of you

Zaph

towel401 wrote: »

lob it into her, boss

before halflife gets the better of you

Stop acting the gobshíte or a week off from here will get the better of you. The general rule of thumb is that if you've nothing useful to contribute to the discussion, don't contribute, ok?

dyl10

I honestly think you shouldn't make a reference to it either way, it sounds like it's early days in your relationship with her yet. Telling her could go several ways, she could think you've only one thing on your mind(as mentioned above) or it could actually come off as a bit heavy and scare her off, as she might think you see the relationship as much more serious than it is(you said you've only met a few times)

Would you not be better off just playing it as it is, getting to know her(and letting her get to know you) and bring this up at a later stage when you have a little more trust in each other?

Alternatively, if she asks out right, you could just tell her and if sex is on the cards this early, then maybe it doesn't have to be an issue at all.

Partizan

beertons wrote: »

Or just tell her straight out man, start the relationship off with honesty. Best foot forward and all that. She was a first for somebody too at some stage. And most importantly, relax.

+1

take heed OP of this advice. When I was your age I was still a virgin and didnt lose my virginity until I was 23 to some nurse from Mayo in a drunken one night stand in Ayia Napa. I now regret it but at least you are entering into a stable relationship.

Relax andgo with the flow. Dont forget protection.

LegacyUser

Hmm i wouldnt say anything at all about it unless she brings it up..girls are not worried about how much experience a guy has had, in fact id prefer not to even know, a guy bringing up the subject of sex so early in a relationship can be quite off putting and make him come across as only being in it for one thing..when the time is right it will work out whatever way it is supposed to..until then just enjoy the fun and excitement of starting a new relationship and dont stress!!

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

jim o doom

OP - if you want to go out with her, then do just that & see where the relationship goes.
How many people she went out with & her past relationships don't matter; it's not a game & nobody (except maybe yourself) is keeping score. I doubt if she cares about it!

If the relationship gets serious & things are going to happen in "that" department, then maybe would be a time to talk about your inexperience/worries with her. But I certainly wouldn't be talking about it out of the blue with her, especially before I knew the relationship was going to go anwhere..

Finally; good luck & I hope it all works out.. remember don't worry about it too much, just let the relationship happen naturally - worrying will only upset you & get you worked up about an issue that isn't even there.

sassa

Do you trust her? if you think she'd tell her friends or laugh about it then she's not right for you. you could be a bit diplomatic with the truth and just tell her you're not that experienced. Personally I wouldnt be that bothered about it myself but some girls can be and not because they'd find it funny or weird but because they'd feel pressure to live up to what your expectations might be about your first time. try not to worry too much about it though and try to enjoy the relationship as it is.

LegacyUser

I know one of the posters said they were 22 and a virgin....try 25!!! Thing is I have had opportunities but just bottle it all the time. Last week, in bed with seriously the hottest girl ever and there was no way I could go through with it! I know the opportunity will probably come up again and Im dreading having to tell her. I might just not say anything and eh fumble around!!! Im sure it cant be that difficult. Its just I have left it so long now that its an issue. So at 18 I wouldnt worry in the slightest, just try not get to 25 and be in the same position!

fonpokno

OP, I wouldn't worry too much about telling her unless it comes up in conversation or something. Try not to get ahead of yourself in the relationship, the pair of ye may not even consider sex for months and months! In all likelihood she won't have any problem with you being a virgin at all, and if she does then she's probably not the type of person you'd want to be with anyway.

You're only 18 sure, an awful lot of people are only starting out anything like this at your age and many people wait much longer. Try not to think too much about it or it'll only create an issue in your mind that isn't an issue at all!

BenGunn

Unregistered wrote: »

Hmm i wouldnt say anything at all about it unless she brings it up..girls are not worried about how much experience a guy has had, in fact id prefer not to even know, a guy bringing up the subject of sex so early in a relationship can be quite off putting and make him come across as only being in it for one thing..when the time is right it will work out whatever way it is supposed to..until then just enjoy the fun and excitement of starting a new relationship and dont stress!!

nah man you need to tell the bizzle, otherwise she'll be wonderin why you aint got yo **** together. boning is an acquired skill yano? believe me- hos totally care if a dude knows wots the wot down there and where to stick it, but at the same time at 18 it's ok to be a newbie, she probably won't mind breakin you in. so if i were u i'd wait til near the time, fess up beforehand, and just enjoy tappin that- there ain't nothin' like it brother.

half_life_man

thanks lads and lassys for the posts. making me feel more confident now! i'm not gonna tell her out straight lol, if she asks then i'll say it. dont want her thinking i'm into her for sex.

mrs.vandoorn

trust me any 18 year old would love 2 hav a fella whos a virgin 4 a boyfriend !! showin ya de ropes is half de fun