Unsure of relationship

LegacyUser

Ok need advice

im going out with this guy for a month and half but i am unsure if i'm ready. my first relationship was a long term one and it ended abruptly cuz he loved doing drugs but i fell into rebound mode and this guy was a physco. He had us married with kids within a week. Basically i decided to stay away from fellas.

Nearly 2 years later, i met this guy who lives 3 hrs away and we got on really well. We then decided to go out on a date but it didnt happen. we ended up just meeting up again and talking for a few hrs and then went our separate ways. Now here is my problem:

OK firstly i think we both rushed it cuz on the second time we spent some time together we ended up sleeping together and the sex was great but ever since then wen ever we've spent time together we have always managed to fit a quicky in somewhere. Now i'm getting a little sick of it. We havent been on a proper date. About 3 weeks ago i was off the pill so nothing cud happen he ended up masterbating beside me cuz he was aroused and we cudnt have sex. i didnt have a clue on how to react with that at all. Recently I told him how i felt we were really only F*** buddies and not really in a relationship and i explained that i'd like to cut down on the sex but not stop it completely and focus on other aspects of the relationship. We agreed not to have sex that night but then later that evening when we were just cuddling he got aroused and tried nearly everything to do the same to me so that i'd change my mind. But I was determined that i wasnt going to be. He claimed that i was the sexiest person he knew and cudnt help himself. Now because of that instance i feel we are more F*** buddies now than ever but he's told me he loves me on quite a few occasions.

I dont know whether i should stop the relationship now or what. Guys i need your help.

m83

Guys like sex

From your post I'd be worried that he is indeed using you for sex. If he really loves and respects you he should have no problem doing more coupley things.

Talk to him and let him know where you stand and see what he says. But more importantly, judge him on his actions.

Salome

I'm sorry to say it OP, you don't have a relationship with this man, you have an arrangement. Until you do something else, like dating for example, you're just being used - you don't need that so either he steps up or you go your seperate ways.

Kirnsy

dump his ass OP..

you can do better than him, its clear from your post that yer man has only one thing on his mind when he's with you.

kittensoft1984

Hey Op.

Do yourself a favour an dump him. Its not a relationship you have with this guy.

It seems like he is just using you for sex. Granted he may have a very high sex drive, but what you described is ridiculous.

This guy doesn't want a relationship (I personally don't think he is mature enough to have one).

You have tried to talk to him already, and he hasnt listened so I think its time to say goodbye to him and find someone who will treat you with more respect.

muboop1

he op, look im a lad, albeit im quite locked as i write this however i just say that so you can excuse if i make mistakes however im doing my best not to...

im 20, nearly 21, and even i locked kno he has one agenda...

ur being used for sex... you gave it up(not that there is anything wrong wiht this btw) just now he expects it!

3 hour away implies that it would be a very hard relationship to maintain. are you in to that tbh?

beyond that the guy masturbated beside you and said yoursefl you didnt know what to say... this to me says you were uncomfortable!

what guy does that wiht a girl he respects and barely knows who just asked him to slow down the sex stuff?

the you so sexy is such a line!
he could of easily gone to toilet or something i dunno just that is an inexcusable act i think!(considering the circumstance-regardles if he actualy believed you are sexy or not it seems he was making an excuse to get off regardlss of what you wanted. doing so in front of you is just terrible imo)

you gut is clearly telling you you are nothing but f*** buddies... so why continue it unles that is what you are into which i get impression you arent...

have some respect for yourself! you cna do better and you will!

hate to say it but stay away!

btw in advance sorry if my spelling was off... i just read this forum alot as i find it has alot of advice i can relate to or use... and i cant stand this stuff... the guy isnt a good guy... stay away!(mabey he is good but he is currently only looking out for himself which to me says he isnt a good guy! )

jellie

its very easy to use the words "i love you". you need to judge by his actions if you think he means them. Generally you should trust your instincts with these things, theyre usually right.

Wibbs

In PI you see a fair number of threads where the guy is in friendzone. The extreme of that is where a guy is supplying the emotional support, but isn't getting the physical contact and sex of a romantic relationship. There are some women who will take advantage of that.

You've got the mostly woman version of friendzone. Bonkzone I suppose. You're supplying the physical contact and sex but are not getting the emotional support of a romantic relationship. Both rarely evolve into a proper relationship.

Friendzone and bonkzone both have one thing in common. The person involved is supplying a bribe in a way, hoping for more and the other person is taking advantage of that hope. Not good.

I would give the same advice for both; if you are not getting what you want or what is healthy for you, then walk away and look elsewhere.