Ladies of boards. Please advise me!

congo_90

As the title suggests I need your help.
I'm pretty young and have experience with long term (considering my age is 18, long) relationships.

About this time yesterday I asked a girl to be my gf which she agreed to. Now heres the thing. In light of Valentines day. I was thinking of taking her out on a 'date' while making it a Valentines day thing. I'm not absolutly crazy about her yet but she is growing on me. Any advice? perhaps just the date before VD? A well written card on VD?
Thank you all!

congo_90

I did see the sticky but as you pointed out. Its not so much what to buy rather should I hold out on the date until VD? or should I go ahead and ask her out on it and then also sort something for VD?

Sorry for any confusion caused, mods

Edit; unless i'm crazy (possibly) someone posted between my two posts. can a mod also confirm?

Ghost Train

yeah i did, i decided i was probably wrong...

congo_90

ha ok thanks anyway for the reply. for a moment there I thought I had finally lost it!
So the question still stands for those who want
Thanks again.

K-9

Ah memories from that age.

The ould boring roses, choccies and if you can afford it, a nice restaurant will suffice.

*Being honest and practical, the night before or after is best as you'll be guarenteed good service and no flies in the French Coffee!

congo_90

Seanies32 wrote: »

Ah memories from that age.

The ould boring roses, choccies and if you can afford it, a nice restaurant will suffice.

*Being honest and practical, the night before or after is best as you'll be guarenteed good service and no flies in the French Coffee!

I dont think people are following what my original post is here for:

Gifts is no problem. venues e.g restaurants etc no problems.

My problem/query is whether or not I should take her on a date between now and VD or wait till VD itself seems how we're only together a short while.

K-9

Apolgies, deffo do it, it's a month a away.

Vino! Apologies!

The Sweeper

So you're asking if more than one date in 26 days is overkill?

Well seeing as you're not absolutely crazy about your new girlfriend, bring her nowhere for the next 25 days and we'll see if she's still around for Valentines.

Jesus wept, kids today...

Manic Moran

About this time yesterday I asked a girl to be my gf which she agreed to

What, you entered into a formal arrangement, by way of oral or written contract?

I don't recall ever formalising such an arrangement. Seems a little odd to me. How do you bring it up in conversation?

NTM (Interloper)

shellyboo

So you've asked a girl to be your gf and now you're not going to take her out for another month?

Yeah, you don't need to worry about Valentine's Day, she'll have lost interest way before then. Take her out this weekend, AND next week, AND the week after that AND on Valentine's Day. Jeez.

PrivateEye

Is this thread basically asking 'if I don't see her this side of Valentines day and we've only gone out once, can I save myself a tenner and get nothing?'

Yeah, you don't need to worry about Valentine's Day, she'll have lost interest way before then.

my thoughts exacto.

congo_90

no no not that i'm saving money. Just its pretty fresh Obv i'm going to be seeing her (a lot of man hate going on here shouldn't have asked for advice if i was gonna be attacked, i wont quote but formal agreement? oh sorry for using some proper english!)

ah here forget this... I'll get my jacket ahem...

congo_90

congo_90 wrote: »

(a lot of man hate going on here shouldn't have asked for advice if i was gonna be attacked

You mean you wouldn't have asked for advice if you'd known people were going to disagree? :rolleyes:
It's a silly idea to wait until valentine's for a date (for so many reasons), there's nothing man-hate about it. Please don't hide behind accusations like that just because you had a bad idea.

congo_90

PrivateEye wrote: »

Is this thread basically asking 'if I don't see her this side of Valentines day and we've only gone out once, can I save myself a tenner and get nothing?'


my thoughts exacto.

Manic Moran wrote: »

What, you entered into a formal arrangement, by way of oral or written contract?

I don't recall ever formalising such an arrangement. Seems a little odd to me. How do you bring it up in conversation?

NTM (Interloper)

bluewolf wrote: »

You mean you wouldn't have asked for advice if you'd known people were going to disagree? :rolleyes:
It's a silly idea to wait until valentine's for a date (for so many reasons), there's nothing man-hate about it. Please don't hide behind accusations like that just because you had a bad idea.

Your right my bad. Its not man hate just an innocent question I asked genuinely looking for advice. but instead got shot down I'll be seeing her inbetween but not so far dates even though i'd like to and I am actually quite crazy about her but dont want to come on too strong (dates every week sort of thing) bear in mind i'm only 18. Above quotes a bit strong and p|ssed me off there. first few posters were nice to me and understanding.

So far the only advice outta this is if I dont bring her i'll lose her and that i'm a cheap príck for even asking?

Manic Moran

I'm sorry, I was too taken back by the whole "I asked" thing.

However, to answer the original question.

My problem/query is whether or not I should take her on a date between now and VD or wait till VD itself seems how we're only together a short while.

I think other people have already adequately answered it. BF/GF relationships tend to work when you see each other every now and then. Waiting three weeks isn't going to do the job.

NTM (Interloper)

Jules

Ok OP, ya got to look at it this way. You say you asked this girl to be your girlfriend, even thought your not absolutely crazy about her.. yet .. you say. So there is potential there. My advise would of been to not put a label on what you are, as in boyfriend/girlfriend. Maybe go on some casual dates first and see if you can become more attracted to her and then maybe on valentines day ask her to be your girlfriend. Go to the cinema, pub.. as long as she is of age, grab coffee. Get to know her a little better. Ya dont jump in with two feet before you have tested the water. Ya know.

And come on guys he is young and inexpereinced. Give him a bit of a break, we were all there at one point or another.

congo_90

Manic Moran wrote: »

I'm sorry, I was too taken back by the whole "I asked" thing.

However, to answer the original question.

I think other people have already adequately answered it. BF/GF relationships tend to work when you see each other every now and then. Waiting three weeks isn't going to do the job.

NTM (Interloper)

See these are the sort of replies I was looking for. Simply whether or not I should or shouldn't. I just needed the opinion of some women who would understand the whole relationship scene a little better.
I shall take her on a date!
thank you for all your posts ladies and sorry for the harda$$ attitude!

MJOR

yea bring her out ASAP before she thinks you've forgotten you're going out!

dates rock, girls love dates, and valentines is a no brainer so it's even nicer to have a random no reason kind of a date - that said, you need to bring her out for VD aswell!! (we're hard to figure out but you'll get used to it!)

you said you weren't crazy about her - then you said you were?

if it's the latter, let her know you like her, girls like to be liked, it's the way we're made!

congo_90

MJOR wrote: »

yea bring her out ASAP before she thinks you've forgotten you're going out!

Ironically I actually had her on my mind last night and rang her on her lunch today asking her to meet me for no particular reason and took her out tonight which turned into a success! It was only a pub grub because i'm broke this week but it was pretty fancy and she loved it! (woo)

Deleted User wrote: »

dates rock, girls love dates, and valentines is a no brainer so it's even nicer to have a random no reason kind of a date - that said, you need to bring her out for VD aswell!! (we're hard to figure out but you'll get used to it!)

you said you weren't crazy about her - then you said you were?

if it's the latter, let her know you like her, girls like to be liked, it's the way we're made!

Lol its the latter im just a bit crazy in my ways.

MJOR

congo_90 wrote: »

Ironically I actually had her on my mind last night and rang her on her lunch today asking her to meet me for no particular reason and took her out tonight which turned into a success! It was only a pub grub because i'm broke this week but it was pretty fancy and she loved it! (woo)



Lol its the latter im just a bit crazy in my ways.

Woo hoo delighted for ya!!!!!!!!

petethebrick

Meet her if you want to, don't if you don't. Why did you ask her to be your girlfriend if you're not sure about her?? You'll soon learn^^ now in her mind you've tied yourself to her whereas you should be seeing other girls to see what's out there before making any commitments of that sort

tallaght01

Mate, you're only 18.

Just go with it, and do whatever feels right for you guys at the time. There will be loads of other girls and loads of other dates, so just enjoy yourself without worrying too much.

The only thing I'd advise is to stop using the phrase "VD" when you're planning dates....to some sections of the population those initaials have a WHOLE different meaning :pac:

Pyr0

shellyboo wrote: »

So you've asked a girl to be your gf and now you're not going to take her out for another month?

Yeah, you don't need to worry about Valentine's Day, she'll have lost interest way before then. Take her out this weekend, AND next week, AND the week after that AND on Valentine's Day. Jeez.

Why should it be every weekend until valentines day ? Should he keep bringing her out every weekend after that ? That seems like a bit too much overkill, once every second weekend would be grand. There's also two people in this relationship too y'know.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Funniest moment in ages. At a glance I thought you were asking should you go on a date before giving your girlfriend VD*, or perhaps giver her a well written card on VD





*Veneral Disease

congo_90

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

Funniest moment in ages. At a glance I thought you were asking should you go on a date before giving your girlfriend VD*, or perhaps giver her a well written card on VD





*Veneral Disease

ROFL!!!
seriously I was thinking this thread would die out on page 1 or be closed by mods by now.. but when i saw this this post I had to reply haha *googles veneral disease*

Oh my.... but nope not only do I intend on playing safe but I do intend on sorting things out for VD nothing major due to short time knowing her means I have to be cautious cos of what to get her *sorry for off topic*

venereal disease (VD), is an illness that has a significant probability of transmission between humans or animals by means of sexual contact, including vaginal intercourse, oral sex, and anal sex.

JC 2K3

The concept of "dates" is a bit alien to me (is it not more of an American thing?), But as far as I understand, are they not something you do before you start going out? Surely once you are going out the idea is that you want to spend as much time together as possible on a generally much more informal basis?

shellyboo

Pyr0 wrote: »

Why should it be every weekend until valentines day ? Should he keep bringing her out every weekend after that ? That seems like a bit too much overkill, once every second weekend would be grand. There's also two people in this relationship too y'know.

Why would you only see your partner once every two weeks? That's just weird. They should be having a date (ie, dinner, cinema, a drink, a dvd, a gig, comedy...) at least once a week. At least!!

congo_90

shellyboo wrote: »

Why would you only see your partner once every two weeks? That's just weird. They should be having a date (ie, dinner, cinema, a drink, a dvd, a gig, comedy...) at least once a week. At least!!

Cos not everybody can afford such things every week. We go to each others houses and watch films etc though or go for a drink in the pub depending.

shellyboo

congo_90 wrote: »

Cos not everybody can afford such things every week. We go to each others houses and watch films etc though or go for a drink in the pub depending.

Yes, note where I said "a drink" or "dvd". That's a date, too.

Black Swan

congo_90 wrote: »

My problem/query is whether or not I should take her on a date between now and VD or wait till VD itself seems how we're only together a short while.

What are you waiting for, the magic moment? They just don't happen on days like V-Day. That's for silly Hallmark cards, with their prefabricated one-liners. You date often, and just maybe you two will click at some unexpected moment?