Whats going on in her head?

LegacyUser

I want to ask peoples opinion on this?

Lets say theres this girl, i havn't seen in 2 years after we were involved for a few weeks, and there was something strong between us, but it was long distance and didn't work out, and shortly after it ended she cut off all contact, and today I went into a bar/restaurant and she was working there,but I didnt see her until I went to pay for food at the bar and she was at the other end of it and when she saw me left and went into another part of the building, what does that indicate? She also walked by my table a few times, didn't say anything but I didnt know it was her until I saw her behind the bar (she was the only female staff there at the time).

Nevyn

/shakes crystal ball, shakes it again gives up cos it's a snowglobe.

Tbh who knows, either leave her be cos she didn't talk to you or go talk to her and find out.

Silverfish

Unreg2nite wrote: »

I want to ask peoples opinion on this?

Lets say theres this girl, i havn't seen in 2 years after we were involved for a few weeks, and there was something strong between us, but it was long distance and didn't work out, and shortly after it ended she cut off all contact, and today I went into a bar/restaurant and she was working there,but I didnt see her until I went to pay for food at the bar and she was at the other end of it and when she saw me left and went into another part of the building, what does that indicate? She also walked by my table a few times, didn't say anything but I didnt know it was her until I saw her behind the bar (she was the only female staff there at the time).

Probably didn't recognise you, or remember you, or notice, or didn't think you were important enough in her life any more to acknowledge, or felt uncomfortable, or was having a bad day, or any of a thousand reasons.

If its been two years with no contact, then why is this a problem now?

Miss Fluff

Why are you so concerned what she thinks OP? Do you still like her?

lee_arama

THe problems with short (weeks in length) relationships is that the hormone/emotion/love level is soooo high that you ignore or don't see the minor flaws which make marriage and long term relationships what they are...

If I bumped into my first GF from college I'd probably trip over my own tongue since I certainly still have feelings for her, which is no slight on my current partner, but there's always that special something there which becomes more special with protracted hindsight.

OP: The ex-of-a-few-years is working there. Did you expect her to come over and say hi? Have your OH find out she was an ex and then have her complain to the manager that an ex gf of my bf's is hassling us at our table?

If you're serious about finding out more then pop back in for tea and maybe quietly ask if so-and-so is working today and maybe find out what shift she's on. If nothing else it'll give you closure.

Darkbloom

lee_arama wrote: »

If nothing else it'll give you closure.

Why is he entitled to closure? She obviously doesn't want anything more from this.

St Bill

It doesn't indicate anything apart from the fact that she didn't see/recognise/notice you. Unless you think it indicates that she's been formulating a plan these last few years to ignore you in a bar one day just to mess with your head?
Talk to her, say hello or whatever it is people do nowadays

Max Power1

Unreg2nite wrote: »

and when she saw me left and went into another part of the building, what does that indicate?

Id say thats your answer right there..

cantdecide

It's not nice to be given the cold shoulder, OP. Try not to worry about it.

LegacyUser

it doesn't matter to me really but 2 years ago she just cut off all contact, when I tired to ask her why or if she just wanted to stop talking she wouldn't even tell me so I never got any closure,

lee_arama no I didnt expect her to come over and say hello, and I currently do not have another half so there wouldn't be an issue with managers or anything there..

When i went to the bar to pay she did see me because I looked up and was looking at her for a second and when she saw that she left,

its not a problem after 2 years of no contact, but the fact she looked at me and left says something like she has something against me?

anyway its nothing major, I was just curious...

Salome

You could think and think and think about this til your brain turns inside out - you never had closure on this because she wouldn't talk and seeing her again makes you realise how much that got to you.

Forget her OP, she's not worth your consideration if she wouldn't even look at you.

miabella

i am in exact same situation. was seeing a guy for a few weeks and had a really good time, but i backed off cos i felt everything was happening so fast. never told him that of course. i jus stopped meeting up with him. if i saw him now id feel bad for never explaining what was going on in my head. id try to avoid the situation, hence maybe why the girl legged it when she saw you

LegacyUser

thanks for that miabella, when abouts did you stop meeting up with me may I ask?

maybe next time I see her I should just go over and say hello and see what happens?I know your going to say forget her and I should, but we were very good friends before anything happened between us and she's probably the only girl I've meet so far in my life thats actually understood me and stuff..

miabella

ah well over a year at this stage, but its still very much in my head. if i meet him right now, i dont know what id say. keep an open mind, see what happens.
circumstances may have changed etc. but by being polite, like you're just being normal.

Wibbs

Unreg2nite wrote: »

it doesn't matter to me really but 2 years ago she just cut off all contact, when I tired to ask her why or if she just wanted to stop talking she wouldn't even tell me so I never got any closure,

There seems to be a lot of talk these days of "closure". :rolleyes: Personally a lot of the time I say "arse to that". Give yourself closure. You don't need it from anyone else. Indeed you're the only one who can give closure.

She doesn't sound like she wants to know. She seems quite happy not dealing with you, so fine. That's her right. Stop worrying about someone else who is not interested. Worry about yourself and those that are.

LegacyUser

miabella wrote: »

ah well over a year at this stage, but its still very much in my head. if i meet him right now, i dont know what id say. keep an open mind, see what happens.
circumstances may have changed etc. but by being polite, like you're just being normal.

ok, reason I ask is because this girl in question is also from Galway... got worried there for a second!!

thanks for the help guys..